The Adventures of Joe Macintosh
Book One
by Bryant Arnold
EXCERPT
CHAPTER 1
On a bus bound for nowhere
I fear the Gatekeeper has abandoned his post.
It seems evil is pushing through its cracks now, one by one.
More are running than ever before. All Hell is about to break
loose . . .
Joe squinted up from the page and peered through
the dirty window. The Arizona desert at dawn was red. The
strange contrast of black shadows and crimson rock glowed
like some surreal version of the surface of Mars. But in contrast
to the lifeless surface of a planet devoid of oxygen, the
desert teemed with life. Frivolous eddies of wind danced along
the scrub brush as miniature tornadoes. Tumbleweeds were doing
their jobs and jackrabbits bounded without care. Coyotes left
their nocturnal hunting fields and headed home to their dens.
It’s been a lot of years since this mess
started. And I can’t go home . . . not yet. I just want
my life back.
Joe closed his little blue journal and slid
it mechanically back into his coat signaling the end of a
ritual which kept him sane. He hadn’t budged since he
boarded the bus hours ago. The passenger next to him fidgeted,
squirmed, and made trips to the lavatory in the back, every
ten minutes. His name was Bill, a traveling salesman. He sold
connective tubing of some kind, and seemed more than happy
to fill Joe in on the last twenty rotten years of his life.
Joe wasn’t in a talkative mood, so he just slumped,
with his hat pressed against the glass, watching the endless
miles speed by. As he stared into the blurry landscape, he
found himself longing for the past, when he didn’t have
any use for mechanical transportation. He could magickally
travel over vast distances in the blink of an eye. Now, he
was forced to move between problems with all the speed of
a normal person. Joe felt older than ever. He let his face
sag.
Bill was back again, this time looking very
yellow and motion-sick.
“Never could get used to bus travel .
. . you seem to be taking it pretty well.”
Joe shifted his eyes to the uncomfortable Bill
and back to the road.
“You’re right,” Bill sighed.
“I should stop complaining and get some sleep.”
Joe closed his eyes for a long time. Just the
mention of the word ‘sleep’ sent the crawling
heebie-jeebies up his spine. He supposed he could sleep if
he tried, but he hadn’t tried in what seemed like years.
Joe would often enter trance-like states for days on end,
as his profession required, but it was anything but deep,
intoxicating, refreshing slumber.
The smooth humming of the bus tires turned uneven
and bumpy. The air brakes let out blurting and hissing sounds
simultaneously. The slowing inertia pulled all but the weariest
occupants from their individual slumbers and snores and tipped
recently filled sodas into the laps of immediately wakeful
people. Joe watched a single filling station, alone in the
vast redness of the desert, slide into view as if it hovered
just above an invisible cushion of heat. It possessed a single
pump which read ‘diesel fuel only’. The attendant
shambled out, covered in grease and dust. Several missing
teeth dotted his broad, young smile. He wore only a pair of
overalls with no shirt and tennis shoes from the 1960’s–original
Chuck Taylor All-Stars. The backwards baseball cap might have
been clean once, maybe ten years ago. He wiped his cheek with
a greasy rag. The bus slowed to a billowing halt next to the
pump, missing the building’s overhanging awning by practiced
inches.
“Okay everyone, we are stopping for gas
and we’ll only be a minute. We would appreciate it if
you remain seated. Thank you,” the bus driver said as
he opened the doors by straining on a complicated handle involving
several interconnected chrome rods, each swiveling squeakily.
Joe wondered who the ‘we’ the bus driver was referring
to. Was it the Greyhound Corporation, or a tiny demon in the
driver’s pocket? From Joe’s experience, it could
easily have been a demon. Joe stood and tipped his hat to
Bill, over whose face passed an expression of nauseous puzzlement.
Joe edged his way between the cramped seats and into the aisle.
“All I know is it’s HOT,”
said the driver to the attendant.
“You ain’t seen hot yet, Mister.
It’s only 6:00 am. Wait’ll noon . . . it’ll
be a hundered-an’-fifteen. Maybe a little more.”
“After ninety degrees, it’s all
the same to me–just HOT.”
“Yeah, well, one of your passengers don’t
think it’s hot, he’s wearing a big, long coat.”
“What–?” The driver turned
in time to see Joe standing near the door of the bus, shading
his eyes with the upraised palm of his hand. “Hey you,
number twenty-er . . . seven. I thought I told you to stay
in your seat,” the driver said, marching towards Joe
with the air of apparent authority.
Joe pulled his hat on a little more snugly and
strode off, away from the bus and across the road.
“I said get back here! Stop!”
Joe crossed the highway and hiked through sequoia
cactus and aloe plants and other shrubs his forebrain refused
to identify.
“Wait, damn you. This is an unscheduled
st–“
“This is MY stop,” whispered Joe
over his shoulder. It reached the driver’s ears easily–as
though they stood next to each other.
The driver’s face paled as he turned slowly
around in a complete circle, wondering if someone was standing
behind him. He squinted through the heat haze of the highway
asphalt at Joe–who had vanished. The driver paid the
attendant and pulled away from the station with a feeling
of loss. He felt as though something big had just slipped
through his fingers. Even now, the memory of passenger twenty-seven
was fading. Even now, Bill the salesman was feeling better
and wondering why no one had purchased the empty seat next
to him on the packed bus. He dug into his briefcase searching
for crackers.
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