Featuring:
Ruth Ann’s Hacking in the Breadbox

EXCERPT

If you ever wonder why we ride the carousel
We do it for the stories we can tell.

Ah, the stories we could tell.
If it all blows up and goes to hell.
I wish that we could sit upon
the bed in some hotel
And listen to the stories we could tell.

~ From Jimmy Buffett’s
“The Stories We Could Tell”
Lyrics by John B. Sebastian

Prologue

How’d we get here?

Did you ever travel in the car with your parents when you were kids? Did you ever go to sleep out of sheer boredom soon after you got in the car and not wake up until you got to grandma’s house?

It might have been a beautiful Saturday, but you didn’t want to be stuck in the car; so you went to sleep and missed the ride. Just think of the things you might have been able to see if you’d been paying attention.

I’m 46 years old as I write this. And that’s how I feel about life – I wish I would have paid more attention.

There are only a few of the millions of things that happened to me that I really even noticed. To many people these little things may not seem that significant, but, when that’s all you’ve got, that’s what you write about. Nothing here about my campaign for the Presidency, or how I led my troops to victory over Nazi oppression; nothing about my first steps on the moon. Just ordinary stuff that happens to ordinary people. But hopefully, this is what ordinary people can relate to.

When signing up for an Internet WEB site for which I used to write (I was expelled and banned, along with many of my peers for questioning the authority of the editors), I was asked the question “What do you write about?” Until then, I’d never really given it much thought. But, having to put something down, I believe I coined my answer: “ I write about my life, because if I don’t, it really was wasted.”

That’d be a damn shame, wouldn’t it?

So, you kids at home, try to remember this. Next time you’re at an all-you-can-eat food bar and Ruth Ann’s Hacking In The Breadbox, take notes. That may be the biggest thing that ever happens to you.