【13.】

  Mrs. Shen stayed in the villa and had the driver send me back.

  When I got home, Shen Duan hadn't returned yet. I called him but he didn't answer. Jiang Ma saw me pacing back and forth anxiously and comforted me with a few words, but I was preoccupied and couldn't listen to her, so she gave up.

  I always feel uneasy, and this unease comes from somewhere that I don't actually understand... It's not Madame Shen, it's not Shěn Zhōng, it's not Hú Wèi, it's not myself... nor is it anyone else.

  And these people, these things all linked together, finally formed the result of my anxiety.

  A pair of hands rested on my shoulders: "Liu Jia?"

  I was startled and looked up. Shen Zhong furrowed his brow, concern filling his eyes: "What's wrong? Why are you sitting here staring off into space?"

  "You're back."

  "Uh-huh."

  "Have you eaten yet?"

  "I ate, but I'm still hungry." He looked at me pitifully. "I was called away by the old man to talk, and the banquet wasn't enjoyable either! How could I have had an appetite for food?"

  One calls me away, another holds Shen Dang back...?

  The dinner was quite sumptuous, Shen Duan kept serving me dishes, I looked at the delicacies on the table, but my heart wasn't in it.

  Since when did I get used to such a delicious meal?

  Since when did I get used to such luxurious food and clothing?

  He looked at me without moving the rice and dishes in the bowl, raised his head to look at me: "What's wrong? Not appetizing? Do you want us to go out for dinner?"

  I put down my chopsticks and shook my head. There were a thousand words in my heart, but I didn't know where to start.

  "What's wrong?" He walked over, squatted beside me, and took my hand "Not feeling well? Sick?"

  I look at this person in front of me, he loves me so much, and I also love him with all my might. We have never touched romance, but we understand what it means to sacrifice one's life.

  I reached out and grasped his hand on my leg, after a long time, I finally said: "Shen Duan, I want to move out and live separately."

  He was taken aback for a moment, seemingly not understanding what I said, but I knew he did, so I just looked at him without speaking.

  "What's wrong?" He grasped my hand anxiously "Isn't this place okay? Then... what kind of place do you like? Tell me, we'll move to a new house."

  I pulled back my hand: "I think I'll move back to school."

  "No way!" He suddenly stood up, trying to suppress his anger. "I can agree with you on anything else, but this one thing... is non-negotiable!"

  "Shen Duan..." I also stood up and looked at him straight in the eye. "I'm not arguing with you, nor am I dissatisfied with anything. It's just that... I want us to be more equal, rather than being kept by you in this luxurious mansion."

  "Hey!" He pulled me right in front of him "You actually think this way?"

  I know I've said too much, after all, my demands are so unreasonable. He must be extremely heartbroken now. I lower my head and stop talking.

  "You can have anything you want, no matter how unreasonable the request is, I'll agree to it. But I also have a bottom line... Liu Jia, this matter will not be mentioned again after this."

  I hung my head and didn't even dare look at him: "Anyway, I'm going to move out and live elsewhere, whether you agree or not."

  "Good! Good! Good!"

  He said three good things, I've never seen him like this before. I just feel a sharp pain in my heart, and I don't know if it's right or wrong for me to persist. I keep comforting myself that Mrs. Shen can't affect our love, but unexpectedly, just a few simple bills have defeated me so thoroughly.

  That night we parted on bad terms, I said harsh words, but his expression... was actually more heartbreaking than angry.

  So I had this idea, but I didn't move out, and Mother Jiang knew that Shen Zhuo and I were at odds over something these past few days. When it was just the two of us at home, she would try every way to persuade me.

  What she said makes sense, but things are far from being that simple...

  Forget it... I comforted myself, everything can wait until after his birthday, before that, he is the boss.

  On Friday after class, I went to the supermarket and bought a lot of vegetables. I thought that day's events were very unpleasant, and the atmosphere at home has not been good for these days. Shen Duan is such a person, who is very accommodating on small matters, but when it comes to big things that cannot be compromised, he is very principled.

  It seems I have no choice but to try to win him over...

  Because I've been with Shen Duan for a long time, I'm very familiar with his tastes. The things I bought are mostly what he likes to eat. When it was almost time to check out, I saw that the bamboo shoots in the supermarket were so fresh, and coincidentally, I also like to eat this thing, so I bought some on impulse.

  When I got home, there were big and small bags all over the place. Jiang's mother saw me first stunned for a moment, then smiled and took the things from my hand, constantly praising me: "Ah! That's right, make some dishes that Gongzi loves to eat, and he'll be soft on you. Maybe this trick won't work on others... but you're the one who's dear to Gongzi's heart, just pretend a little bit, and Gongzi will definitely calm down."

  I'm exhausted and can barely catch my breath, lying on the sofa I said: "I hope so, Aunt Jiang, thanks for your auspicious words!"

  I only rested for a while, then I hurried to the kitchen to get everything out, and Ginger Mom instructed me on the side. It turns out that the dishes that looked simple at ordinary times had so many details, stir-frying before frying with scallions, ginger, and garlic, the flavor is great. The seasoning for braising was originally put in first, and the relationship between rice grains and water was so complicated... I was overwhelmed, feeling that these things were thousands of times more difficult than the experiments I usually did.

  "Aiyo! Be careful!" shouted Jiang Ma. I hadn't even reacted yet, and all I felt was a sharp pain in my arm.

  "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!" I screamed like a pig being slaughtered "What's going on?! What's going on?! It hurts so much to death!!!"

  Mother Jiang hastily stretched my hand into the water pool and rinsed it with cold water: "It's all my fault, I was busy talking to you, you wanted to stir-fry bamboo shoots, there's water in that pot, you put oil inside, and it splashed out."

  "Ah!" I was in so much pain that my eyes were brimming with tears. "It's all red and blistered!"

  "Oh no, it's serious! I'll go get you some medicine."

  After applying the medicine, I felt a bit better.

  Mother Jiang pushed me out: "I'll take care of the rest of this dish, you'd better not mess it up."

  "Oh no, oh no!" I squeezed into the kitchen "It's not going to work. This whole table of dishes was made by me, can't let it all go to waste."

  She looked at me with a helpless expression and said: "Look at your arm, it's in that state, can you still use it?"

  "Let's go!"

  "......Alright." Jiang's mother reminded her again with concern "You be careful, okay? Be more cautious."

  I smiled and waved the bamboo shoots in my hand: "Don't worry, just this one dish left!"

  I finished cooking and excitedly called Shen Duan.

  His voice was faintly, as if still in a huff with me, I thought anyway it's all decided to break up, so don't mind these things.

  "When are you coming back today?"

  He paused, and didn't speak for half a day, I felt uneasy: "Shen Zhong?"

  "I probably won't be going back today."

  Then where are you going?

  This sentence was on the tip of my tongue, repeatedly thinking and repeatedly reciting it, but ultimately didn't have the courage to ask. In the end, I silently hung up the phone.

  In the past, I watched TV and saw a tedious love story that was boring to the extreme. However, I remembered one sentence said by the female lead: One wrong step leads to every subsequent step being wrong.

  I don't know if it's just me now.

  Mother Jiang saw me looking unhappy and hung up the phone, hurriedly asking: "When will you be back, young master?"

  "I probably won't be back today."

  "Uh... " She hesitated for a moment before speaking up. "What about all the dishes on this table?"

  I hung my head low, not wanting her to see my dejected expression: "I'll eat in a bit."

  Mother Jiang wanted to say something else, but seeing me like this, she just sighed.

  I was extremely tired, lying on the sofa, and fell asleep unknowingly. When I woke up, it was already dark outside, the living room had no lights on, the moonlight shone in, overlapping with a certain night in my memory, my eyes welled up, and I finally burst into tears.

  The table in the living room still had the meal I made on it, I wiped away my tears and walked over to turn on the light. I warmed up the cold rice with hot water and ate the cooled-down dishes on the table with that warm water-soaked rice.

  What's on your mind?

  Not heartache, not indignation, nor even resentment...

  I think I'm entirely responsible for what happened to myself.