The Quaranteam Universe is the creation of CorruptingPower, used with permission. Also a big shout out to the Writers Room, especially Percheron. Check out his branch of the story, Aotearoa, which just started publishing.

  The song referenced here is “Valhallelujah” by Nanowar of Steel. If you haven’t heard that song before and think you know where it’s going, no you don’t.

  —-

  Chapter 8: Telecommunications

  15 August 2020

  Silence is worse than even a negative response. Adam was hunched over his desk that Saturday morning, head in hands. Shannon and Callie had insisted on making breakfast and coffee. Probably also wanting to talk without him there, which was a bit of a challenge given the size of the apartment. Adam, therefore, found himself stuck. Neither of his remaining students scheduled for today. Neither of the dies here. No word on his job, nor even if any of his coworkers were around to talk about it. Just a sense of impending doom, and the knowledge that only two of his students were even still showing up to be tutored.

  Well, that, and a growing concern for his shrinking housemate.

  Callie’s appetite had never manifested. Her mild fever remained, as did her frequent bathroom trips. Frequent enough that she was compining of pain in her back, right around her kidneys. She was visibly, if slightly, smaller than she had been a week prior. The floor didn’t creak quite as much as when she arrived, and when they’d had her step on a scale to check it read nearly fifteen pounds less than what she said she’d been weighed at right before she got her Serum dose. Adam didn’t have all THAT much in the way of a medical education, but that combined with thirty minutes of research led him to believe that this might be dangerous. It didn’t matter how little time she had been with him, Adam did not want to see her waste away and die… and at the rate she was going, that point would come in a couple of months, tops.

  That wasn’t even all. Mosquitoes in Yelm had never been the biggest problem. Not compared to some of the horror stories from the Southeast that made Adam thankful he was born at the opposite of That. It seemed like every one of them in the State of Washington suddenly and simultaneously decided that Callie was uniquely delicious, though, and invaded in force. He heard another spping sound as Callie discouraged one more from taking a drink. It had gotten bad enough that, when he’d pced an order for shelving a few days ago, he added in some citronel candles. Couldn’t hurt.

  There was also the fact that Shannon’s boobs were still growing. This morning’s measurements put her right at a G cup, a statement which had gotten him rock hard and required her to help him out. A need which she had no problems helping with, it should be noted.

  Things were strange enough that he figured it was about time to call in for medical help again. From the sound of things in the kitchen he probably had at least ten minutes to try to contact the advice line. To their credit, it only took him two tries to get a human on the line. The problem, of course, was that as soon as he got halfway through the symptoms she accused him of wasting her time with obviously exaggerated descriptions and hung up on him.

  The second human he caught said that much weight loss usually meant an amputation happened, and wondered how he missed that she was dying. Adam thought he preferred the first one, really.

  “AJ! Breakfast!”

  He stretched out, back popping. “Coming, Shannon!”

  “If you were going to do THAT you should have asked for help!”

  He grinned and got moving. No sense keeping the dies waiting, after all. Or the coffee. Or, as it turned out, the slightly-burned-but-delicious omelette. Shannon had one, too, even if Callie was sticking to a banana, two pieces of bacon, and a mug of coffee made the exact opposite of Shannon’s. It wasn’t like the bimbo style, blonde and sweet. It was like the Death Star. Enormous, on the dark side, and powerful enough to blow up pnets.

  They joked and ughed as they ate, the tension slowly leaving Adam’s shoulders. Really, the events of this morning might have been frustrating, but they weren’t a shock, were they? The entire world had been thrown for a loop, and people were trying to make sense of what they could. Couldn’t even bme a couple of them for disbelief, even in today’s era. And so, the three at this table, on this cloudy morning, made the best of it they could.

  And then his phone rang.

  The jokes stopped instantly, silence fell. He didn’t recognize the number, and that was not a good sign. He scrambled a bit, put it on speaker on the table, and answered it. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Mr. Jeffries! How are you doing?” The voice was deep and very familiar. One more suited to the word “bro” than any other.

  “Chad! Gd to hear from you, we’re doing well here. How about you?” Adam and Shannon were grinning broadly as they got back to their food. Callie looked confused for a moment, shrugged, and figured it was just one of those things she hadn’t gotten time to learn yet.

  “Awesome. Hey, sorry I disappeared on you, but I got a job up in Seattle and Jessica tells me you’re the one who recommended me. Had to call and say thanks, man!”

  Adam’s head tilted in thought, trying to remember what the heck Chad was talking about. Then he straightened up as two and two got together in his head. “Oh, the special assignment thing? I’m going to be honest, when I got asked for recommendations I didn’t know what it was about. You were the only person I could think of remotely qualified for it.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about that! This is really cool. Uh, not supposed to talk about part of it, but you’re on a Team, right?”

  “Yep. Shannon, Callie, this is Chad. Chad, these are my Teammates, Shannon and Callie.”

  “Hello,” they chimed in chorus.

  “Awesome, so I can talk about it. A company up here needed to make a Team out of themselves, no men to do it with, so I’m on their payroll. My job duties are to work out and have a lot of sex, and that’s it. Living the dream.” There were a couple of voices in the background of Chad’s side of the conversation, but what they were saying couldn’t quite be made out. It sounded direct, though, someone was giving orders. On, it must be repeated, a Saturday morning.

  Callie’s curiosity couldn’t be contained. “Callie speaking. Which company did you say you were working for? I’m a wyer and I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone doing that kind of arrangement.”

  “Uh, Superior Economics and Expansion.”

  The look on the redhead’s face was priceless in the split second before she bit her tongue and buried her head in her hands, shaking with barely-suppressed ughter. Adam’s look of obvious curiosity was held at bay by a mouthed “ter” from her.

  Adam shrugged. “Sounds pretty cool. What do they have you doing?”

  “Thought I just said that, bro. I work out and keep healthy, then whenever one of them wants or needs sex they come to me. Other than that, my time is mine. Guess I can’t really leave, but no biggie.”

  Adam’s eyebrows furrowed a bit, but his voice betrayed no piece of this. “And… how are your coworkers?”

  “Oh, Jessica’s awesome, she really likes taking time to work out with me and make sure I’m doing alright. Mary and Sandra are cool, too, but I guess they don’t like each other much. They get really competitive when it’s their turn or when we’re gaming. The others don’t talk to me much.”

  “You seem to be enjoying this?” Adam probably meant to say that as a statement, but his voice betrayed him. There was no hiding that questioning tone. The disbelief, like he wanted to ask “are you sure?”

  “You bet!” Either Chad couldn’t hear the unspoken question, or he was actually that sure.

  “Alright then. Great talking to you, make sure to call back soon.” He’d obviously decided that he wasn’t going to be able to convince anyone of anything this call, so it was time to take what wins he could hang up with.

  “You got it, Mr. Jeffries.” The line went silent with a click..

  To her credit, Shannon’s willpower sted almost a tenth of a second after Chad hung up. “Alright, AJ, spit it out. The only local friend of yours I know of just called and you look like you swallowed a bee.”

  “First off, you count now.”

  “And you accuse ME of dodging questions?”

  Adam ughed. “Okay, okay. I was just… thinking.”

  Even Callie had to get in on that one. “You’re gonna need to be a lot more specific than that.”

  He raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright! Uh, how do I phrase this… the situation Chad got into? That job? He got it because I mentioned him to a doctor from the Serum team.”

  Shannon looked confused. “That’s good, right? He sounds happy about it.”

  “That’s the thing. Is his situation so great? It sounds like… that company just hired a convenient penis. He sounds like he has one person who cares about him as a person, maybe a couple more, out of a company? Stuck with nothing to do but lift weights, py a video game or two, and wait for someone to knock on his door for sex? What kind of life is that?”

  The lightbulbs came on for both of the dies at the same time, but it was Shannon who voiced it. “AJ, what you just described isn’t all that far off from how we’re living now. It’s not like we get out all that much, either, you know?”

  “It’s not the same. I have a good and loving retionship with you. No offense, Callie, you’re barely out of week one so we’re still working things out.”

  The redhead shrugged. “No offense taken, it won’t be the first trial period I’ve done.”

  “Thanks. The whole thing is… well, I like to think you two value me for me. Not just what’s between my legs. He doesn’t sound like he has that, and he’s stuck.”

  Callie shook her head. “He isn’t the only one, Adam. Honestly, as long as he’s enjoying it, I say good for him. Hopefully this whole thing will be done and reversed before he changes his mind, but it’s not like he can go back now. The only way to go is forward.”

  Further specution on the topic was interrupted by a knock at the door and a buzz on his phone. “Delivery notice, looks like the shelves are here. Callie, mind grabbing them while Shannon and I clean up?”

  They broke down into the individual things that needed doing. Leftovers put up, dishes cleaned, and over at the front door Callie hauled in a couple of boxes. “Candles, Adam? Didn’t think you were the type to go for ambiance.”

  “Citronel. I figured you wanted to stop spping yourself and this was one way to try to help.”

  “Compint rescinded.”

  Shannon and Callie got to work opening up the first one and decoding the instructions. Callie was insistent on making sure every nut, bolt, and panel those instructions said should be there was, in fact, there. While that was going on, Adam begged off to head back to the bedroom for other tasks. It wasn’t like there was enough room for him to crowd around the project with the other two. Medical personnel had not been helpful, and his concern for Callie was only growing at this point after watching her barely nibble at breakfast. His own words earlier had given him one possible solution to the situation.

  A doctor would probably send him to the Serum team again. No point in wasting time trying to get through the system the normal way now, was there?

  He looked through his contacts for a bit before finding the one for Dr. Sherman. Post-Serum team, the same one he’d spoken to not all that long before. He hesitated. The st call with that particur man had gone debatably well, but he couldn’t shake just how much it had affected the life of Chad. A man who had nothing to do with the call and no way to affect it had his entire existence redefined. Adam didn’t have much choice, though. It was either that, or he might have to watch his Teammate waste away to nothing. Steeling himself, he hit the button to start the call.

  The bnd hold music did absolutely nothing for his nerves.

  It wasn’t long before an equally bnd voice answered. “This is Dr. Sherman, who am I speaking to?”

  “I’m Adam Jeffries, thank you for picking up.”

  “Ah, the Team with the particurly significant macromastia case, if I remember correctly. I’ll bring up your records, how are you doing?”

  “The fact that I’m calling you should probably tell you that not all is well in Yelm.”

  “Sarcasm ill becomes you. Is your teammate’s breast growth becoming an issue?”

  Adam thought for a moment before responding. “It hasn’t slowed down, but that isn’t why I called. I got another member on my team, and she’s also showing some serious reactions.”

  “Ah, Miss Calliope Ekecheiria?”

  “Callie, yes. She got to me a week ago weighing about 280 pounds. She has lost 15 of those since then. She has a mild fever and is barely eating at all, along with constantly needing to use the restroom.”

  “Huh.” The normally-unfppable doctor seemed nonplussed. “Another unusual regeneration reaction, though again it isn’t unheard-of. Just not this slowly.”

  Adam’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

  Dr. Sherman composed his thoughts. “It would appear that her body is excreting or burning off unhealthy excess mass. You know enough to know that that much weight is not doing her wellbeing much good. This usually is a part of the effects of a regeneration, but that again is typically overnight. Not at about… two pounds per day. Is there anything else you note that is unusual about her? Anything at all?”

  “Uh…” Adam had to think harder. “She also seems to be getting targeted by mosquitoes a lot, and the only foods I’ve seen her tolerate have been bacon and bananas.”

  “Sodium, protein, fats, potassium. The waste products she is putting out probably include an increase in carbon dioxide from respiration, as well, which would make her a mosquito magnet.”

  “That fits, I guess, but what the heck am I going to do?”

  “Besides investing in bacon, bananas, and citronel?” Adam winced but kept listening to Dr. Sherman talk. “Get some multivitamins, over the counter will do. I don’t recommend them often, but Callie is going to be losing a lot of water-soluble nutrients rapidly. She might already be in a deficit state, but I have no way to tell from the information you’ve given me. If she isn’t already, she also needs to be drinking as much water as her body will tolerate.”

  “Is… is there anything I need to watch out for?”

  “Like your previous teammate, you need to watch out for it going too far. From her charts, Callie has a lot of leeway here, but she can lose upwards of half of her original body weight before all is said and done and still be able to maintain her health. It is going to be on you to keep an eye on her for if she starts to show signs of it all going south.”

  “Doctor, do you have any idea how little that reassured me?”

  For the first time, Dr. Sherman’s own voice betrayed emotion. He wasn’t joyous or angry or depressed. No, the man sounded, above all, overwhelmingly tired. “In that case, Mr. Jeffries, you have the right idea. There is an enormous amount going on that you have the barest glimpse of knowledge about. I have to deal with it every day, and I do not envy my superiors what they have seen.”

  Nice of him to express that.

  “I’m sorry, Doctor.”

  “Don’t be. Just live, alright? Keep being a good person and take care of your own, keep letting me know when strange things happen. The lives you save may be more than just your own.” The conversation didn’t st much longer after that, but there was one st detail that was left. Or, say rather, one more person I needed Adam to talk to.

  Me.

  His phone rang moments after he hung up.

  “This is Adam Jeffries.”

  “Hello, Adam. You’ve been having quite a month, I hear.”

  “Uh, you could say that. What did you say your name was?”

  “I didn’t. You’ve been chatting with my folks a bit, though, so I figured I’d call you myself to give some news.”

  “Serum team, then. Probably that bunch in California.”

  “Sharper than my dad’s pitchfork. I’ll save you some time since I don’t have much of it myself, the schools around Yelm are not reopening any time soon. There has been too high a death toll. Teachers, students, and administrators as well. You need to stop holding out hope for a light at the end of that particur tunnel.”

  “I… see. I need to pn, then, the dies are contributing but I’m not sure how this is going to work without that.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry. I have a… call it a proposition for you.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “You are going to get a few things. A rger pce to live, paid for, along with a bit of a stipend. I’ll even boost your profile a bit for doctors who are entering Teams so that your folks can have local medical screening. Save the nurse line some headaches, you know.”

  “That is a rge carrot you’re offering. I have to think the stick’s going to be the same size.”

  “I wouldn’t go and say that. What I need from you is data. Someone from my team is going to call you now and then for your thoughts on what’s happening, I need you to be honest with them so that we can add your own impressions and commentary to the records for first-hand experience. That doctor you’re getting is going to have some instructions from us, too. Oh, and don’t go looking too close in the corners of your pce. You don’t need to find what’s there, and I need them there so I can keep recording my data.”

  “My home is bugged?”

  “Ever since you got home from the hospital. We needed to know why it is that you survived when so few do.”

  “Thanks for your concern, I guess. Now that you told me that, how am I supposed to not look?”

  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. No need to tell the dies, either. It would spoil the data, you know. Now, does this sound reasonable to you?”

  “If I agree, my family is safe? I’ll be able to keep them housed and fed in peace?”

  “Of course. Even if your household expands by a fair margin… and I expect it will… we’ll make sure of it.”

  “Then you have a deal, sir.”

  “Good. I’ll get the ball rolling here, there is no need for further action from you. Besides what we talked about, you know. Fare well.”

  With a click, the call ended. Adam did not look particurly happy, looking around the room and not seeing anything out of the ordinary. When one knows that something out of the ordinary is there despite this, it tends to bug them. He stood, slowly. Contempting. Clearly uncertain if the choice he’d just made was a wise one. Like Callie had said, though, it wasn’t like he could hope to go back in time and make a different one. The only way to go was forward.

  These heavy thoughts were interrupted by two sounds coming from the living room. The first was the silvery peal of ughter coming from Shannon. Not just ughs, either, she was going so hard Adam could hear her gasping for breath between bursting into more ughter. Underneath that, though, was the unmistakable (if faint) sound of metal music. Callie was pying something, and whatever it was seemed to be hirious. Adam shrugged. It seemed worth investigating, especially since there didn’t seem to be anything else to do in the bedroom.

  Sure enough, the living room contained a few things of note. A shelf that looked about three-fourths built, a smug-looking Callie, Shannon ying on her side as she ughed (breasts jiggling visibly under her tank top, much to Adam’s delight). There was also the music, indeed coming from Callie’s phone.

  “No more wars, just design of furniture, MASTER OF IKEA!”

  That certainly expined a lot of things, didn’t it? Adam very shortly found himself on the ground right next to Shannon, ughing and gasping for breath. It didn’t help when he tried to get himself together, looked over at the now-understandably smug Callie, and saw her holding up the box with the same company’s icon. Both got themselves under control… then looked at each other and immediately started cracking up again. It took them quite a while to recompose themselves to the point that they could hold hex keys and screwdrivers again, by which point Callie had already managed to finish the st bits of assembly on that shelf. That meant that what was left to do was make sandwiches for lunch before assembling the second one and loading them up.

  And then unloading them, because nobody present managed to think about putting the shelves where they belonged first.

  The combination of ughter and physical effort seemed to do the trick. Little by little, inch by inch, Adam rexed. It certainly helped that the shelves really did open up a significant amount of room in the pce. They also opened Adam up to significantly more ribbing from his Teammates, mostly thanks to his less-than-accurate attempts at pronouncing the names. Little by little, he stopped looking for cameras in the corners and shadowy pces of his home. He put it resolutely out of his mind, despite the occasional odd look from Shannon.

  It wasn’t like he was looking in the right pces, anyway, but that much was a given.

  Later that night, Callie was settling into her bean bag chair to sleep, licking her lips with a serious case of afterglow. Adam settled himself into his own bed in Shannon’s loving arms. The pleasant soreness in his limbs and the satisfaction of a productive day combined with a rather satisfying orgasm to y him out pretty well. Despite this, sleep itself was slow to come. Shannon noticed. She was getting better at reading him, after all, and the open eyes were a bit of a giveaway. “Adam? What is it?”

  He shook his head a bit. “It’s… a lot happened today. You know about Chad, plus I tried to talk to some doctors about Callie’s weight loss. They weren’t all that helpful, either. Best I got was someone telling me to get her multivitamins and keep an eye on her.”

  Shannon’s eyes closed, her dark arms still wrapped around his pale body. “That’s not everything. It’s not even surprising.”

  “Yeah. I also got some bad news. The schools aren’t reopening. Too many deaths. I’m out of a job, and a lot of the people I was asking for help didn’t respond because they’re too busy waiting to hear their name at the Pearly Gates.”

  “Oh, Adam, that’s awful!” Sympathetic tears were at her own eyes. “I guess it’s good that we still have two incomes, right? Callie might not be doing Supreme Court cases, but even a public defender gets some half-decent pay. I’m still supplementing it, too.”

  “I guess. We probably have a month or two of running cash for now, I’ll see if anything can come up for me to let us get back ahead.”

  The two fell asleep shortly thereafter. To be fair, so did I.