The next morning, I slip into some fresh lingerie, a pair of running shorts and a red tank top. After slipping on some simple sandals, I stand in front of the mirror to brush my hair and notice that everything fits snugly and accentuates my curves. I can't help but think about how much better my clothes fit me now compared to the baggy boys’ clothing I used to wear. Just about everything I wear fits in all the right pces, highlighting my quickly changing body.
Thinking back to my reaction to dresses and skirts, I believe most of that had to do with what boys were taught and their ragging on each other over anything they remotely considered to be girly. Most of my friends were girls and I’d always been more inclined to do things with them rather than py sports and the other things most boys enjoyed. Maybe that should have told me something about myself. Then there’s the possibility that the ck of testosterone had something to do with my inclinations. The doctor also told me that is why I was smaller and lighter than other boys my age.
If I’m honest with myself, I’ve always envied the options that girls have. If they want to dress more like a boy, that’s fine. If they wanted to be super girly, that’s fine too. I don’t really know what that says about me, but maybe it means that, in some fashion, I always knew I wasn’t a boy.
I finish brushing my hair, smile at myself in the mirror, and murmur, “You did well yesterday, just keep it up and everything will be fine.”
Grabbing my sports bag, I drop in a towel, my swimsuit, cover-up, and suntan lotion in it. I love swimming, but this is a first for me and I’m definitely not looking forward to wearing my swimsuit in public, especially with how it fits me. It literally leaves nothing to the imagination with how tight it is.
Sighing at the thought, I sit down in my chair. It takes a few minutes of me repeatedly telling myself that it doesn’t really matter and that at least it isn’t a bikini. I would have to do it sooner or ter and trying to skip the party just so I wouldn’t have to wear it isn’t going to work because Mom probably wouldn’t allow it. Besides, no one here knows me as anything other than a girl.
Feeling a little more sure of myself, I pick up my bag, sungsses, and sun hat. Then head downstairs. As I walk, it occurs to me that this is why Mom always carries a purse since girls carry around so many things.
I enter the living room where everyone is and Mom tells David, “Remember to be on your best behavior and definitely what you were told. We’d best not see anything other than total support for Rei, understood?”
“Mom, that wasn’t necessary. I watched out for her at the party, didn’t I?”
She quirks an eyebrow. “Did you?” She shrugs. “Well, just remember to keep watching out for your sisters.”
He nods and we make our way over to the Jensen’s and ring the doorbell. No sooner do we make it inside and say hello, than Kelly almost tackles me in a hug and drags me up to her room. The first thing I notice is how cutely everything is decorated. Pastels and soft whites are predominant. I simply nodded as she took me around her room and introduced me to each one of her stuffed animals. I found her enthusiasm to be infectious and ended up smiling more and more until before I knew it, I was just as wrapped up in her expnations as she was in giving them.
She had moved on to her knick-knacks, when her mother yelled, “Girls, put on your swimsuits and come down.”
Now, I thought we’d take turns using the bathroom to change, but that idea flew out the window the moment she started undressing, which, as you can guess, made me blush furiously even as it shocked me into immobility.
When she’s down to her bra and panties, she notices and says, “Don’t just stand there silly. Get changed.”
Snapping myself out of it, I tell myself, ‘This is normal. Girls change in front of each other for gym at school just like guys do.’
Quickly stripping myself and folding my clothes as I do, I don my swimsuit and move my breasts into the built-in cups. We gather our things and head downstairs to the patio. The bright light makes me immediately put my sungsses on and then I notice that the patio is packed with even more people than were at our house yesterday.
Off to our left, Dad and Mr. Jensen are talking by his rather expensive-looking outdoor kitchen/grill set up. His gestures and expression as he shows everything to Dad say that it’s his pride and joy.
Mom tells me, “Don’t forget your suntan lotion. I don’t want to hear any whining about sunburns because you didn’t use it.”
I nod and Kelly tells me, “If you’ll do me, I’ll do you.”
I smile in appreciation. “Sure.”
We find a couple of lounge chairs together, pce our things on the table between them and then sther each other with the suntan lotion. It was definitely hard not to notice Jeremy staring at us as we did. Turning to look at him, I pull my sungsses down on my nose and stare back, which makes him blush and me grin. This turns into an on-and-off game for me throughout the day. I would do something like adjust my breasts in the cups or the way the bottom sat on my butt in a manner that there was no way he couldn’t see it to make him blush and turn away to hide it.
Don’t ask me why I did it, because I couldn’t tell you, but it felt kind of... powerful to be able to have this kind of effect on someone, and watching him squirm when I did it was rather pleasing. Although doing this made me somewhat happy on some level, it also brought up a lot of questions. Questions that I’m definitely not prepared to entertain right now.
The heat finally drives David and Jeremy to join Kelly and me in the water. It was awkward at first, or I should say Jeremy was being awkward, as we pyed the usual games in the water. Marco Polo, volleyball, and even a little water polo. A little ter, the four of us sit down in the wading area and Jeremy surprises me when he boldly, yet uneasily, sits right beside me.
The conversation starts off about where we moved from, what sports we py, which I really couldn’t talk about without giving myself away, and of course, about Hoffstead. Kelly drags me into a conversation about cheerleading, which I guess gives Jeremy the opening he’s been looking for and he asks, “You’re a cheerleader?”
“Umm, no. Even so, Kelly and Emma want me to try out though.”
He smiles at me. “I think you’d make a great cheerleader and it’d be cool if you were. I py football and basketball, so you could cheer for me.”
I have no idea if it will help in the long run, but I decide to shut this down before it gets any more uncomfortable for me, let alone give him the idea that I’m interested in him, I reply, “If I make the squad, I’d be cheering for the team and not one person. That would be rude to them to do otherwise.”
His face falls, but he nods. “You’re right. Sorry.”
The conversation continues, but David and Jeremy's voices fade into the background as Kelly and I resume our discussion about cheerleading. The sun beats down on us, casting long shadows across the football field where we sit.
Kelly turns to me with a curious expression. “How good are you at gymnastics?”
I shrug nonchantly, trying to hide my hesitance. “I've never really done them. The closest thing would be karate.”
Her eyes light up with excitement. “You have to be flexible and have great spatial orientation for that, right?”
I nod, feeling a slight twinge of pride. “Yep, those are definitely important skills. I can do full splits without breaking a sweat.”
A wide grin spreads across her face. “Perfect! We'll start working with you tomorrow morning so we can get you up to speed.”
I feel a mix of nerves and excitement in my stomach. “Do you think 3 weeks will be enough time for me to learn everything?”
Kelly gives me an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Absolutely! Three weeks is plenty of time to nail down the basics. The rest, you can learn during practice.”
Thankfully, they call out that dinner is ready because I was seriously getting hungry. Getting out, we quickly dry ourselves and get into line to get something to eat. Once we get our ptes fixed, we join Kelly and my parents at a table. The ribs were literally fall off the bone tender and absolutely delicious. Suffice it to say that I was too busy stuffing my face, in a dy-like manner mind you, to pay much attention to the conversation. What little I did catch of their conversation told me that our families would be spending a lot of time together.
Jeremy, of course, chose a table where he could easily steal gnces, more like stares, at me. In a way, I found it fttering that he found me attractive enough to devote so much attention to me, but in another, it made me rather uneasy. I know I shut him down when he tried talking to me before, but on second thought, a conversation would be far less unnerving than the silent staring.
Our stomachs full from the satisfying meal, Kelly and I dispose of our ptes and make our way back to our lounge chairs. As we settle into the cushions, the warm sun envelops us and we close our eyes, relishing in the peacefulness of the moment. However, every time I happen to gnce in Jeremy's direction, I catch him gazing at me with an intense stare. It becomes unnerving and I finally decide to confront him.
Excusing myself from Kelly's side, I approach Jeremy and take a seat beside him. He greets me with a hesitant smile and says a simple “Hi.”
“Hi," I respond. “Just what’s the deal with you? I can't help but notice you've been staring at me.”
Without hesitation, he shrugs and calmly admits, “You're cute.” The words catch me off guard and my cheeks immediately flush with warmth.
Okay, I probably should have described Jeremy before now, but he’s several inches taller than me and going by how he’s built, much heavier. No, I’m not saying he’s fat either, simply muscur from pying sports I would surmise. Brown hair and brown eyes and if I’m truthful, decent looking. I don’t know much about him, but from the little I’ve seen he seems to be a decent enough guy. In other circumstances, we’d probably be fast friends. Now, though? I’m simply uncomfortable.
“Uh, I guess I should say thanks, but honestly, you don’t know anything about me and all the staring is making me nervous.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I know you’re pretty, and your brother told me you like gaming, reading and you’ll be trying out to be a cheerleader.”
I stare daggers at David for a moment before I look back at Jeremy. “That’s true, but those are all superficial things and they don’t tell you a thing about me as a person.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. “Jeremy... I just moved here and I haven't had a chance to get comfortable yet. Right now, I'm just looking for some friends.” I shrug and soldier on, hoping this will solve or at least moderate it. “Frankly, all the staring is kinda freaking me out, so can you do me a favor and stop?”
His depressed sounding, “Sure,” makes me feel bad, but what else can I do? I’m not ready for any of this.
I immediately regret my harsh tone and reach out to touch his forearm in a comforting gesture. “Thank you for understanding.” My smile is forced, but I hope it conveys my gratitude. I'm not ready for any of this: the new town, the stares, living as a girl, trying out for cheerleading, any of it actually. It's all too overwhelming for me right now. My only consotion so far has been meeting Emma and Kelly.
