Cassius couldn't concentrate on the book unfolded in front of him. His eyes were fixed on his hand as it wrapped on the edge of the wooden table. The hand seemed poised to remove itself from the rest of him and sprinted away in nervous excitement at any moment.
A woman, short, fat and old, not near as frail as Elisor, came to Cassius and spoke. He did not hear the words. He just nodded and looked down at the book.
I'm not scared.
He thought of a time when he was younger, maybe four years ago. He had walked with the sheep in a far corner of the field and saw a man he did not know coming a little too close. At the time he had been unable to call out. Now, same as then, he did not want to speak, thinking he could not control his voice. Would his words come out as a shrill cry? Too quiet? Too loud? Best to stay silent.
When he saw the man in the pasture he turned his herd toward the house, told his dad and was comforted. “Don’t be scared. Whoever it is was probably just passing by. Headed for the city. No need to worry,” his dad had said, then, “It was good of you to come back if you weren’t sure though. Very smart thinking, boy.” He knew he was scared then, before he saw his dad.
This is very different than being scared, Cassius thought. He was scared when he dreamt of his mother. He was scared when his mother disappeared and when he woke up in the Broch without anyone by his side. Now, though, Cassius knew he wasn’t scared.
Cassius knew if he had seen another person acting like he was, or if someone told him they felt like this, he would think they were scared. He stared at his fidgeting hand. Well, if I’m not scared I shouldn’t act like it.
He closed the book Elisor had given him. The Druid said it would be a good foundation for his development, but he had not seen the old man for hours. He hadn't read more than a handful of words in the time.
There is a better way to see things, Cassius knew now. He was at the bottom of the stone steps in no time. He smiled at the memory of how long it took to descend with Elisor. He did not stop to view the seven statues around the sanctum as he had before.
He took his place in front of Vissum. Cassius thought of Elisor’s warning, “Walk even when you think you can run,” before he was whisked away into another vision.
It was Haven, not the sea like last time, and it was morning. A cloudy one so he could not tell how close the day was, but it certainly wasn’t night. He saw the earlier risers walking the cobblestone streets. The baker, I think. Yes, that's him. A guard with his long pike in one hand and the uniform of the day bundled under the other. Heading toward the Longhouse, I guess.
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Cassius took a step in the vision. Last time he was carried by it, but now? Is this new? Yes, he walked normally.
He rounded a corner and crashed into a woman, but even with their stumble, she did not acknowledge him. Cassius turned to her, curious, and she was gone.
Cassius jumped back and fell to the ground. Was that me? Did I make her disappear? Wake up! Wake up! No, they're being taken again! Cassius turned away and started to run, but he was no longer in Haven. It was darkness again. No buildings or cobblestone streets, Cassius just hung in a pitch black void. He could not see, but he felt the presence of a being reaching for him. For a moment he saw the thing outlined in a flash of red light.
“An Old God!” Cassius knew. Something about the power was clear to him. He closed his eyes as tight as he could.
Cassius opened his eyes and found himself back in the stone sanctum.
He still couldn’t move. Time passed, maybe a minute, or an hour. Three days? Cassius could not be sure. Then Elisor knelt by him. “Oh no, Cassius. Too headstrong in your youth.” The old man offered the end of his walking stick and Cassius used it to pull himself to sit.
“I saw him. An Old God. I know it.”
Elisor let out a gasp and his face stretched to an expression Cassius knew was fear. He sat by Cassius and with great care considered his words. “Did you? Well, young Juliei, can you tell me which one?”
Cassius turned his head to look at the statues, faster than he meant to. The movement made him unsteady. Bellum? No. Obviously not that storm one. He turned to his other side. None of them. Then Cassius looked behind him at Vissum. Him? Maybe. Cassius looked at the statue to Vissum’s left. “There.” He pointed.
With a pained sigh Elisor pushed himself up with his stick. “Ahh, then it is as I feared. Quae Vitae. Tell me, Cassius, where did you go?”
“Haven. Haven at first. I saw more people disappear. It was early morning. He was taking them and tried to grab me, I think. I could feel him!” Cassius reached out with his hand the way he had felt the Old God do in the darkness.
“Indeed. Well we must be ready then. And hope your father comes back to us soon. We haven’t much time now. And, Cassius,” Elisor turned to him, “If you continue to push yourself into the path of these Gods they will continue to take from you. Do you understand?”
Cassius did not, but he nodded anyway
“Your visions, so vivid and clear for a newcomer, and spaced so close together, could have killed you. You must never do this again, Cassius. Not without my say so. Do you understand?”
It was the first time Elisor came anywhere close to shouting. Cassius nodded his apology, not wanting to speak.
“Good, go back to your reading. I know what you seek. Trust me the answers are in the books. Not here. Not yet.” The two went back up the steps to the study at the same slow pace as the first time. Now though, Cassius could barely keep up.