They tell you to expect all sorts of folks shopping at Big Box Mart. I just didn’t realize folks included chaos demons.

  Fresh from setting up a dispy of video game bundle cards, I heard three sharp bings from my Big Box Mart PDA. It was a cellphone, but management was so old school they were far more comfortable with a term that had faded from usage a decade ago. I step backed and noticed a surprising ck of customers piloting oversized shopping carts past my electronics department. We’d been open for ten minutes. Usually there’d be a small burst of shoppers waiting at the doors. Gncing over at the entrance, I found thick fog billowing into the store. The woman on card counting duty had backed away warily as the distinct clip-clop, of hooves on concrete approached.

  Pulling my PDA from my belt and I gave a sharp inhation as I read the alert.

  WARDS BREACHED BY CLASS THREE ENTITY OR HIGHER. EMPLOYEES ARE ADVISED TO EVACUATE IF POSSIBLE. IF CONTACT IS MADE REMAIN POLITE AND AVOID AGGRESSION. THE MDA HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.

  Swallowing, I looked up from the screen to find two pairs of glowing purple eyes stacked on top of each other so closely they had to be contained within the same head floating in the fog, all of them staring directly at me. A single cart emerged, propelled by an unseen force. It trundled along as those eyes narrowed and I felt a tingling sensation on the interior of my skull.

  The fog parted, revealing a beastial chimera of a woman. The four eyes were contained in a long, deer-like head with a pair of curved horns, shiny bck, that added over a foot to her already considerable height. There was nothing delicate about her, hulking and curvy. Breasts rger than my head hung freely on her chest and a goat like udder with two long teats hid her crotch. Shaggy brown fur covered her torso while interlocking stripes of bck and white decorated her limbs. Her thick legs ended in cloven hooves the size of a draft horse’s. A lengthy cat’s tail shed behind her as she strode in my direction. Her movements impossibly graceful despite being so huge that she probably had to duck to avoid scraping her horns on the eight-foot-high garage door that was the entrance to the store.

  Blood rushed to my cock so fast that I experienced a wave of dizziness and then vertigo as she stopped herself well inside my personal space. Looking up, I found her face framed by the valley of her cleavage. Her milk cap sized bck nipples would be in reach if I stood on tip toes. I tried to keep that thought at bay and focus on those glowing purple eyes and beamed my most pstic customer service smile at her.

  “Can I help you Ma’am?” I asked.

  The animal muzzle mimicked my expression as she considered me a moment before speaking. “I am told that this location is the best pce to purchase mortal goods such as TVs and other novelties. Since I am unfamiliar with your pne of existence, would you care to assist me?” Her deep, guttural voice made every bone in my body vibrate, seemingly bypassing my ears entirely.

  “I’m happy to assist you while you are within the store, during normal operating hours.” I spoke slowly, carefully, choosing my words. “So long as you are a club member and adhere to proper customer conduct.”

  “So cautious.” She chuckled. “So guarded. Do you not tire of that, Gavin?”

  I froze in a panic. How did she know my name? It took me a moment to remember that I wore a nametag. During which, her nostrils fred and two tongues poked from between her lips to lick along each side of her muzzle.

  “Very well,” she continued, “I shall abide by the local customs.” With a flick of a two fingered hand she produced a membership card, then her fur rustled, bck fabric sprang from nowhere to swath her breasts. A t-shirt that read “Heavy Cream”, and in small letters with an arrow pointing down, “A treat for good pets.”

  Unable to help myself, my gaze followed that arrow. Red ce spun into existence across her udder, pulled it closer to her body and squeezed out a few droplets of milk before a skirt hid it from view. My mouth went dry as a desert as a sudden thirst smmed my being. Staggering back, I found myself panting, my erection pressing on the inside of my pants with a desperate insistence. Trying to get a hold of myself, I turn around.

  A barking ugh sounded as a two arms enfolded me in softness and steely strength.

  “Word of advice, you shouldn’t turn your back on a duchess of chaos. It's so very hard to resist giving chase.” She purred like a cat as something warm and slick caressed my ear, invoking me to make a feeble squeak.

  A duchess of chaos? Oh shit, she wasn’t even a fey then? The panicked thoughts leapt across my mind. Fey were bound by the accords at least, but other entities had made no such treaty. She was something else, something not bound by her oaths and promises. Her agreement a moment ago might not prevent her from biting through my neck. You’d think that thought would act as cold water on my urgent arousal, but instead I felt pressure swell within me.

  “Please don’t hurt me.” I croaked through parched lips.

  “Hurt you? You’re far too much fun to tease. If I had the time, I would let you ske your thirst and then ravage you in such a way that this rge box would echo with your screams of pleasure for a hundred years or more.” She squeezed me tighter, “Not sure your coworkers would appreciate it and I did agree to behave. Too bad.”

  With that, she let me go and I fell onto the floor with all the grace of a gasping fish. Both my hands cwed at my cock, frantically trying to reach it through the fabric of my pants.

  She spoke, “Gavin, come-”

  The word released the pressure she’d built up in me as a single bolt of orgasm and I unleashed a burst of my own cream into my underwear.

  “-along. You still have to sell me a TV.”

  I panted and let my burning cheek rest on the collect concrete of the floor for a moment.

  She offered me her hand. I gripped one of her two fingers and she lifted me from the ground with no visible effort.

  “Yes, right… TVs.” I muttered and staggered toward the dispys. We had nearly a dozen models to choose from. All dispying richly colored scenes of kittens or waterfalls. “Uh, we don’t usually do it this way. Usually, the customer just reads the specs or knows their price range.”

  “It is an unusual day for both of us, then. Select me the biggest and the best.” She said, a ftbed rolled through the front entrance to assist. Once I slid the oversize box of the eight three-inch monster of a dispy onto the ft bed it wheeled toward the Duchess, who looked at me expectantly.

  “Uh, is there anything else I can assist you with?” I asked, then hesitated before adding, “The company did call the MDA when you entered the building. Probably don’t want to be here for that.”

  Her ears flicked and the light of her eyes brightened. “Do not worry about such ants. Now come and show me the rest of this small vastness of mortal consumerism.”

  I tensed when she said, “Come,” but I experienced no fresh eruption. Whatever hold she had put on me, she had released it. Obediently, I followed after her and began a bizarre shopping experience. The Duchess drifted down an aisle, asking questions about nearly every other product or so. What it did or was used for. After listening to my expnation, she either moved on or pced the item on the cart that followed us. All without seeing a single soul, everyone else had evacuated, apparently. When we got to the kitchen wares and specifically the damn air fryers, I told her stories of the many times I’ve burned myself on mine.

  “Why do to keep it if it hurts you?” She asked me.

  “It cooks my food?” I answered. “It makes the chicken wings crispy ish.”

  “Aaah, yes mortals often hurt themselves in pursuit of their appetites.” She ughed, the sound of it crossing between a hyena’s like giggle and TV villian’s cackle.

  “Do Duchesses of Chaos do the same?” I asked her before I thought better of it.

  She stopped ughing suddenly, snapping her jaw closed and looking at with narrowed eyes. “Maybe, depends on the Duchess.”

  “Present one is perfect, of course.” I gave her a grin.

  She barked like a dog and swung her nose upward. “Do not dare paint me with the brush of order, mortal. I serve the whims of chaos. The infinite and ever changing. I have unraveled worlds to dust and torn angels from the sky!” Despite the harshness of the words, her tone stayed light, pyful. Then she added the rgest air fryer we had to her cart, an action that made me ugh.

  I forgot to be afraid of her after that. Especially when she recruited a half a dozen carts to pile with baked goods. Whatever pne of existence she usually dwelled on blueberry muffins and chocote donuts were apparently very scarce commodities. It felt like a strange first date. I’d tell little stories about the folks who worked in each department, the terrible week when I’d filled in for a baker's assistant. She was less interested in the clothing, Big Box Mart really isn’t known for fashion but did browse the inmates. Weirdly, she kept looking me up and down as she did so. Although, she didn’t find anything she liked, and we moved on. After filling two more carts with snacks and gummy vitamins, I logged into a register. I bypassed the photo ID on the club card and even scanned in over nine full carts for a single bill before.

  “That comes to ten thousand, four hundred, eighty-nine dolrs and twenty cents.” I told her afterwards. “Will that be cash or credit?”

  She again surprised me by producing a credit card, swiping it herself on the console, even keying in a pin. It went through without compint.

  “Thank you for shopping at Big Box Mart.” I said, handing her a receipt. “For someone who’s from very far away, you seem to know how this works.”

  “The man who summoned me today gave me detailed instructions before I consumed him.” She said, dispying very menacing grin. “Now the transaction is complete and our covenant is over.”

  I blinked, frozen stupid as my vision zoomed in on her many, many sharp teeth. In the wet shiny surfaces of each individual tooth I saw a pale reflection of my own brown eyes contained within, bewildering of bodies that were different from my own. Roaring breasts that with rippling muscle beneath iridescent scales, a nguid feline draped across a p, a chiseled figure with a crystalline sword and naked nubile woman festooned with piercings carrying a serving ptter. Those were just the ones I catalogued as she slowly leaned over the check-out counter. Her lips pursed, concealing images.

  “What?” I breathed, then those lips engulfed mine along with the majority of my face. Her twin tongues swiftly coiled around my own and then pressed deeper, not down my throat but elsewhere. Where ever they touched they brought a slow fizzing pleasure that pushed aside any thought but her. My mind filled with the brilliant ferocity of her smile, the softness of her fur and the echoes of her feral ugher.

  I wanted. I needed. My hands trembled as they rose, pressed against the short fuzz that covered her face, and tentatively explored. They found her ears, tched on, rubbed their muscur base between fingers and thumb. The tongues slithered even deeper, wrapping around my heart as she lifted me from the ground. One of her tongues pierced my heart and her voice burned through body mind and soul.

  You will call me XIANTA.

  The name branded the dark beyond my eyelids. Each letter squirmed and writhed as if struggling to contain something far greater.

  I dwell between dreams and nightmares, a collector of treasures. Etch my name upon a mirror and sleep within its reflection. Then we shall py a game. I have many keys and colrs on the offer. Will you wear a colr for me? Or shall you earn a key to whatever you wish to be?

  In her grip, I could not answer. I could only exist.

  Yet I heard a distant voice shout.

  “Freeze! MDA! Drop the mortal now!”

  Xianta’s tongues suddenly withdrew, and I gave a gasp. I felt every nook and cranny within my lungs as the air seem den with needles. Convulsing with a hacking fit, I found myself cradled against her breasts. Harsh tingles spread through my torso. I recognized the sensation from a near drowning experience I’d had as a teenager, my body reacquainting itself with oxygen.

  Once the coughing subsided, I saw a crackling field of energy surrounding us. Beyond it stood the ptoon of filled shopping carts. People I couldn’t see were shouting, but the sizzle pop of the barrier drowned out the words. Instead, I looked up at Xianta’s wry smile.

  “Sleep now.” She tapped my nose with the hard tip of one finger. “Boop.”

  My awareness winked out.

  MisterNibs