Billy Jean saw Zompige leading a horde of cannibal crows like a battle-hardened general, charging at the ghost corpse.

  She dashed forward to put a stop to it.

  “Roar… Zompige, hold up! Don't lay a finger on it. It's my new pal."

  “Coo… Cease fire!"

  At the Zompige's command, the cannibal crows screeched to a halt.

  The ghost corpse scurried behind Billy Jean, its spine-tingling wail starting up again,

  “Woo-hoo…"

  It was shaking like a leaf.

  Billy Jean stared at Zompige, perched like a queen bee among the terrifying cannibal crows, and her eyes were filled with awe.

  “Roar… Zompige, I'm floored! You're a total badass."

  The Zompige puffed out its chest, looking as proud as a peacock.

  “Coo… You betcha. Look at me. When my buds are in a jam, I don't just sit on my tail feathers."

  “Roar… Spill the beans. How'd you wrangle these man-eating crows?"

  Billy Jean asked, her curiosity piqued.

  If she ever got caught in a crow storm again, even if she couldn't boss them around, at least she'd know how to stay off their menu.

  The Zompige suddenly got all shy, like a schoolgirl with a crush.

  “Coo… Oh, it's no biggie. Um… I got cozy with their head honcho."

  Billy Jean's jaw hit the floor. What?!

  Seeing the cannibal crow king gently fussing over Zompige's feathers, she gave a thumbs up.

  Now that was something! She was seriously impressed.

  Michael Joke: Thank the stars I didn't off Zompige this morning.

  Otherwise, I'd have a hornet's nest on my hands.

  Panther was as white as a sheet from all the blood loss.

  Watching his buddies drop like flies, getting pecked to pieces by the ravenous cannibal crows and ending up as piles of bones, he panicked and made a run for it.

  Just then, a figure stepped into his path.

  “Where… do you think… you're going!”

  A raspy, gravelly voice rang out, like the Grim Reaper himself.

  “Die!”

  Panther swung a fist the size of a bowling ball.

  Just a girl.

  Who did she think she was, trying to block his way?

  “Bang”

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  A dainty hand caught his fist like it was nothing.

  Cold, ice-cold.

  Not the kind of warmth you'd expect from a human.

  Billy Jean pushed her shades up onto her head, locked her cloudy eyes on Panther, and flashed a chilling smirk.

  “I… am… already six feet under.”

  Panther's eyes bulged in horror.

  She was a zombie!

  A bona fide zombie!

  The next second, he let out a blood-curdling scream.

  “Ah…”

  His arm was twisted into a pretzel by Billy Jean.

  He writhed in agony, sweating bullets.

  Billy Jean whipped out an empty pen tube and jabbed it into Panther's carotid artery.

  A fountain of blood spurted out.

  Before long, Panther was drained dry, and his body hit the floor like a sack of potatoes.

  Billy Jean had the bloodstained tube in her mouth, her pupils glowing red, looking like something out of a horror flick.

  The Zompige, watching its friend's freaky feeding ritual, thought it was the coolest thing ever.

  “Caw, caw… Your zombie pal is one odd duck."

  Said the cannibal crow king.

  It had feasted on at least five hundred zombies, seen God knows how many more, but never one as strange as this.

  Damn it, it even thought this zombie had a certain… elegance.

  The Zompige pecked the crow king's head.

  “Coo… Watch your beak. I'll ruffle your feathers if you talk smack about my friend."

  The cannibal crow king flared up like a firecracker.

  “Caw, caw… You wouldn't dare!"

  The Zompige whacked it with a wing.

  “Coo… Oh, you think you can sass me?"

  The cannibal crow king cowered, hugging its head with its wings.

  “Caw, caw… Your Highness, I'm sorry. I'll zip my beak."

  “Coo… That's what I thought. Learn to keep your yap shut…"

  The Zompige gave the crow king a good thrashing, feathers flying every which way.

  Billy Jean and Michael Joke, watching the domestic drama:

  Uh… Dude, should we call the cops?

  The cannibal crow henchmen: Poor boss!!

  “Roar… Zompige, I'm leaving this in your capable hands. I've got some unfinished business."

  Only a few stragglers were left, still putting up a fight.

  It was just a matter of time before they were wiped out.

  “Coo… Roger that. Go do your thing."

  The Zompige waved its wing like it was royalty.

  Billy Jean nodded.

  She beckoned to the ghost corpse, still whimpering pitifully.

  “Sister, come here. I'll take you… to find… the creep who skinned you.”

  Feeding had done wonders for her voice.

  She was sounding more and more human.

  She reckoned it wouldn't be long before she could gab like a regular person.

  Billy Jean took the ghost corpse and tagged along with Michael Joke to track down that repulsive old hag.

  When the alarm went off, Kelly and Albert were in the throes of passion.

  Besides, she was dead sure Panther would handle things, so she didn't have to lift a finger.

  So she'd been holed up in the bedroom with Albert, having the time of her life.

  Afterwards.

  Albert cuddled Kelly like she was his teddy bear, unable to keep his hands off her silky smooth skin.

  She was still drop-dead gorgeous.

  With doe eyes as innocent as a fawn's, a pert little nose, cherry-red lips, and an oval face that could launch a thousand ships, she was as cute as a button.

  “Kelly, I love you.”

  Albert had a goofy grin on his face and planted a smooch on Kelly's wrinkled forehead.

  Not satisfied, he trailed kisses down her face.

  He smooched her droopy eyelids, her flat, wide nose, her sagging mouth corners, and finally landed a big, wet one on her lips.

  The two of them smooched for a bit before coming up for air.

  “Panther should be wrapping things up. I'll go check.”

  Kelly untangled herself from Albert and got up.

  Albert propped his head up on one hand and lounged on the bed.

  Seeing Kelly pick up the skin on the floor to put it on, he said,

  “This skin's a dud. I'll pick you a better one.”

  After saying that, he hopped out of bed.

  His chiseled, youthful bod caught Kelly's lustful eye in a flash.

  Haha!

  The end of the world was a freaking party.

  There were so many young, hunky guys to play with.

  In the past, those old farts had given her the cold shoulder and shot her down.

  Humph!

  She didn't care.

  Now she had a revolving door of young studs.

  Thinking of that smoking-hot guy today, Kelly's heart did a little flip.

  She couldn't wait to make him swoon under her cheongsam tonight.

  Albert walked to the wardrobe and flung open the door.

  There was a whole row of skins hanging inside.

  Among the sea of skins, his hand zeroed in on one like a heat-seeking missile.

  He stroked it lovingly, like it was his long-lost love.

  He handed it to Kelly.

  “The rest are all dogs. Only this one's a diamond. It looks just like you.”

  Kelly looked at the skin in his hand, a flicker of something dark passing through her eyes.

  As expected…

  “Kelly, Kelly…”

  Kelly snapped back to reality and plastered on a sweet smile.

  “Okay, I'll wear this one.”

  “Mm, I love Kelly the most.”

  Albert gazed at Kelly with hearts in his eyes.