"Emergency broadcast to all star chasers, this is Hope. I'm coming to you with this sponsor free episode, due to breaking news. I'm currently in the bowels of an alien space craft! The very same one I saw back in November that none of you believed me about! But this isn't a time for I-told-you-so's. I'm currently being chased by some alien life form who will no doubt eat my brain, or inject me with eggs. Thus it is with a heavy heart, that I send this transmission. I'll use what time I have left to describe the alien flying saucer in exacting detail so that future researchers may benefit from sacrifice."
"First thing's first! This place get's great reception! We shouldn't be surprised by that of course. The Government's probably hooks these guys up with the best antennas, fiberoptics and all of that stuff. The aliens themselves seem to be autonomous robots of some kind. They're like little guys, super cute! Like they have these little panels for faces that shows their emotions, and it's just adorable. I mean they even have sweat emojis for when they're stressed out, it's hilarious."
"The monster I'm being chased by, not so much. The best way I can describe it, is as a invisible ball of snakes! It's gotta be nine feet tall, and it pretty much takes up the whole hallway. It'd kind of following me by rolling along in my wake, not very quickly though. I mean if I'm being honest I'm kind of jogging for my life here. I can only see a faint shimmering of where it is, everything behind it is blurry. But I can hear it super clearly. It's just making these suction cup noises, and sucking sounds as it tries to get me. So gross. It wants to suck my blood. That's what the other aliens said at least."
"I know! Multiple alien species here on earth. I mean we always knew that space was organized into some kind of space senate type situation. It stands to reason that advanced civilizations would find a way to spare themselves of the horrors of galactic war, through diplomacy. So multiple species was always a possibility, but these guys really don't seem like they were working with each other. By that I mean there was lots of laser beam shooting, and robot smashing before I booked it out of there. So wake up, Earth we're in the middle of a intergalactic conflict between tiny robots, and space vampires. We've got to pick a side and personally I don't like either."
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"Oh there's a fork in the road... Hold on I'm flipping a coin. Heads!"
"Anyway. The Space Vampire is trying to eat me which is major ick behavior, but at the same time the robots abducted me! Yeah! They beamed me up into their saucer, and took me to an operating room. There they performed horrible scientific experimentation on me! Seriously, it was straight out of the movies. They took some kind of glowing band thing, and inserted it into my wrist. It's some kind of DNA rewritter. This must be how the organic masters of the robots are planning to populate the Earth. Already I can feel it changing me, altering me into some kind of alien queen."
"If you're receiving this transmission know that I would never willingly betray the human race. But soon my alien instincts will take over, and I'll have no choice. Until then I remain your faithful star chaser!"
"Man this saucer is big. I think we're in a Doctor Who situation here guys. I've been running around this thing for like ten minutes and totally lost. All the signs are in a weird language. Wait! I see something up ahead, it's a pair of double doors. I'm going to see if I can get through. I don't see any more of the little robots around. I think they all might have died fighting the robot. That's kind of sad..."
"It looks like I can! The band inside my wrist lit up. The door must have sensed my queen DNA and let me through."
"Aah geeze! The vampire is squeezing through too! I can see the doors opening and closing on it. Gross, it sounds so wet. Ugh, I'm going to hurl."
"Oh my gosh, you guys. You thing is Huuuuuuuuge! I'm in a hangar, and there's wow! There's a giant robot in it! This is so cool, all the little robots must have formed together to mage a big one. I'll try to get a closer look. This must be what the aliens are going to use to invade our world!"
"It's huge guys, if this saucer was it's actual size there's no way you would have been missing it! It's bigger than our apartment block for sure, and ours's is three stories tall! Man it's got all sorts of weapons on it, probably like plasma cannons and stuff. So cool. If you're in a tank and meet one of these things, it's good night for sure!"
"Woah, hey! My wrist is starting to glow! So is the robot! Hello, can you hear me? What? Oh no! It's starting to point it's weapon at me. Oh gosh this is it guys. As always thanks for listening to The Star Chaser Podcast, I'm Hope. Don't let anyone tell you I'm an alien queen, I died a proud human and Aiyeeeeeeee!"
Hope Screamed.