Mariel dry heaved into the dirt behind the dugout. She’d run from the gym, across the parking lot, and through the old practice field until she’d reached the white cinderblock building. No one came back here; the grass grew past her ankles and she crouched now, wedged between the chain link fence that ran the perimeter of the baseball field, also currently empty. Head down, knees bent, her left hand was pressed up against the cold cinderblock, her body shivered in the shade and the looming fall weather. As she stared down at the ground, body trembling, she could see the strands of her long ‘hair’ or rather her wig dangling barely an inch above the grass and in response she rose a little, trying to put some distance between herself and the ground as her stomach retched.

  What had she just seen? Had Harris killed Brian? No, Harris hadn’t even touched him, he’d just…he’d…fallen over, right? But then there was the skin; it had changed from the suntanned cream color to a hellish yellow pigment, starting from his hands, working its way up to his head, and then his eyes, oh god his eyes, they’d gone dead, like there was no one in there. God what had she seen? More importantly, who could she tell? No one would believe her, at most, they would think that she had done it. Was Brian alive? Was he in a coma? She shook her head, trying her best to push the thoughts out of her head.

  Okay, first period was over, and second period had started; she had time to get back into the building and hop into Science, right? God this was stupid, she didn’t even want to be here anymore.

  “Hey, what’s your problem?” Amanda’s voice came from behind; Mariel rose to her full height and spun, left hand gripping the chain link fence as she breathed heavily, looking Amanda in the eyes. She stood there with her arms crossed, an expression of impatience painted across her stern features. “Well?”

  “I um…” Mariel stammered, trying to think of an expnation other than ‘I just watched Harris kill Brian.’ Well, wait, was Brian dead? She didn’t want to believe it, but those eyes… “I just got nervous.”

  Amanda huffed and shook her head. “You aren’t supposed to run off on your own, things aren’t the same as they were before, like st year, get it?”

  Mariel nodded, straightening up a little more and releasing her death grip on the fence. “Sorry, it’s just…hard.”

  “Meredith is worried sick. She told me what Mr. Eaton said,” Meredith paused, waiting for some kind of reaction or response from Mariel, she continued when she didn’t get one. “This is just the first day, it’s going to get harder, you know that, right?”

  “Yeah, I know,” Mariel said breathlessly. “It’s just-”

  “Meredith spend the whole summer getting you ready for this, and you’re the one that wanted to do it. If you quit now, all of her hard work goes to waste. Get it?”

  “Yeah,” Mariel repeated. “I don’t…I don’t want to quit, I promise, I just needed to be alone.”

  “Right, let’s go. We’ve got Science.”

  “Hey um, I was wondering…” Mariel said as she followed Amanda across the soccer field. “You really hated me before and-”

  “You gonna ask this again?” Amanda rolled her eyes.

  “I mean, you’ve never really answered it,” Mariel said quickly; from behind, she could have sworn that Amanda cracked a smile.

  “It really gets to you, doesn’t it?” Amanda shook her head. Mariel looked at her questioningly; they stood just outside the double doors beneath an awning, fnked by cinderblock walls on either side. “Not getting what you want.”

  “What?” Mariel frowned. “What does that have to-”

  Amanda was already holding the door open for her, gesturing her to go inside. Mariel closed her eyes briefly and then walked through the door, back into the school. They emerged into a long hallway; on the right side, there were the band and choir rooms, and on the right, a little further down, the art room. This section of the school was a little more utilitarian than the rest; it cked carpet and had been pced far out of the way for good reason – no one wanted to hear a bunch of high schoolers hacking out ‘three blind mice’ on rented trumpets.

  “Do you think I should try out for band?” Mariel asked as they passed the room on the left. Amanda gnced over, studying Mariel for a second, then looked into the band room.

  “Do you know how to py an instrument?” Amanda asked with seemingly no judgement in her tone.

  “Not really,” Mariel admitted. “I just…want to try new things I guess.”

  “You mean becoming a girl wasn’t ‘new’ enough?” Amanda smirked and shook her head. “Why don’t you focus on one thing at a time?”

  “Are you enjoying this?” Mariel asked suddenly; Amanda stopped, dead center of the hallway and turned to Mariel, a question on her face. “I mean…seeing me uncomfortable, like this.”

  “This,” Amanda said, narrowing her eyes. “This is why we never got along. You assume things about people, act like you know them, and you were an absolute jerk to Meredith.”

  “Th…things are different now,” Mariel offered up a weak argument, but Amanda stood firm.

  “No, they’re not,” She accused. “You spent the summer pying dressup, learning how to talk in a girly voice, and yeah, your life is different now, but you don’t know shit. Understand me?”

  “I-”

  “Shut up,” She snarled. “Let’s go. Science css.”

  ***

  “Okay, slow down,” Viv took her younger sister by the shoulders and looked into her eyes, waiting for her breathing to even out. “When you say…’one of us’, you mean…”

  “Like, one of us!” Rachel hissed. “Like…she was in the gym, with that guy…the one that was her friend…um…Brad?”

  “Brian,” Viv said quietly.

  “Yeah, Brian! And she-”

  “First of all,” Viv said, cutting her off. “Calm down. Second, let’s take this somewhere else. Before someone overhears us.”

  ‘Somewhere else’ turned out to be the auditorium where the drama club met after school. It was a small, soundproof theater set on a downward incline toward an octagonal stage with an exit on either side. They crossed the stage and walked through a long hallway fnked on either side by hanging costumes for various productions – most of them interchangeable between shows. Finally, Viv stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to Rachel, looking at her expectantly.

  “Okay, look,” Rachel said urgently. “She…the um…Mariel, she did something to that Brian guy.”

  “When you say ‘something’, you mean…”

  “Okay I didn’t see her do it, not really. She ran out just as I was going in and Brian was like…on the floor.”

  “So she hit him? Probably deserved,” Viv shrugged.

  “No, like, he was on the floor and…his skin was like…yellow. Dark yellow. Like the curtains in the auditorium.”

  Viv froze, a look of horror and confusion momentarily crossing her face. She steadied herself and looked at Rachel.

  “You’re sure?” She asked, her voice nearly a whisper. Rachel nodded. “Okay,” Viv said after a long silence. “Nothing changes.”

  “Wh…what do you mean nothing changes?” Rachel spoke loudly, but then quieted herself as Viv gred. “Viv, everything has changed! There’s another one of us! And on top of that, she’s an Imperative!”

  “Rachel, if that’s true, if she really is one of us, and if she’s an Imperative, it means she used her ability to…hurt someone. Do you not remember what your parents were fighting for? Why we’re here in the first pce?”

  “Okay but you’re an Imperative,” Rachel reminded her. “Would you use your abilities to protect yourself?”

  “From a school bully?” Viv raised an eyebrow and Rachel relented. “We keep quiet, we live our lives. End of discussion.”

  “That wasn’t the pn!” Rachel hissed. “We were supposed to-”

  “If the pn became impossible to execute, then the backup pn was to blend into human society and live our lives. Aaron is dead, we’re on the backup pn.”

  “We’re on the backup pn because we needed two Imperatives,” Rachel reminded her. “With her…Mariel…we have two again. We can-”

  “No!” Viv said, almost angrily. “I like my life here, and we don’t even know if…if it’d work. Keep a low profile and don’t talk to Mariel.”

  “You can’t tell me what to do,” Rachel reminded her. “You’re not my biological sister.”

  “Rachel…” Viv warned, allowing her voice to trail off as she gave Rachel a serious look.

  “Fine,” Rachel relented again. “But-”

  “Hey do you hear that?” Viv frowned and looked behind them, toward the exterior door. The auditorium, while well insuted, was near an exterior wall and the hallway they were in was pressed right against the rear parking lot. Beyond that, the road. Both Viv and Rachel listened quietly, and then they both managed to discern the sound of sirens moving closer. “Sirens.”

  “Police?” Rachel frowned.

  “Doesn’t matter, get back to css,” Viv said quickly. “We don’t want them to suspect us.”

  “Of what?” Rachel scoffed. “They don’t even know about us. Any of us.”

  “And I want to keep it that way,” Viv said sharply. “And stay away from that girl.”

  ***

  “What’s going on?” Mariel whispered to Meredith, who shrugged upon hearing the sound of sirens approaching the school. Multiple students had already left their desks and the rest were soon to follow, making their way through the rows like a herd of gazelles heading toward water. Against the protests of Mrs. Baker, their science teacher, they pressed against the window overlooking front parking lot, peering at the red ambunce as it rolled down the road, taking a turn into the lot, sirens bring. The ambunce stopped near the front door, red with gold lettering that said: ‘Springfield EMS’.

  As they watched the two paramedics exit the vehicle and make a beeline toward the school, the unmistakable click of the overhead intercom sounded. A few of the students gnced over at the high-mounted wooden speaker box that sat over the bckboard, but most kept their eyes glued to the window, searching the parking lot for any kind of further activity. They would probably be waiting a while.

  “Attention all students,” The voice of Principle Henderson boomed over the PA. “Please remain in your cssrooms and follow the instructions of your teacher-”

  “This is freaky,” Mariel whispered to Meredith, ignoring the rest of the message. “Did someone get hurt?”

  “Could be a school shooting,” Some guy suggested; a gasp went through the room.

  “Um, there would be police,” Someone else pointed out; a murmur of agreement repced the gasping.

  “It’s just one ambunce,” Meredith shrugged. “If it were serious, there would be more.”

  “Maybe old man Farley finally had a heart attack,” Someone snickered, referencing the aging substitute who refused to retire.

  “Guys, come on,” Mrs. Baker raised her voice above the noise of mildly panicked yet curious students. “Let’s get back to our seats.”

  With a final instruction to remain seated, Mrs. Baker left the room, closing the door behind her. The room erupted into questions, some students theorizing about shooters, others suggesting that maybe the principal had died. None of that really made sense, but Mariel was starting to put it together. Someone had found Brian in the gymnasium, and as she sat there at her desk, next to Meredith, she couldn’t help but picture him lying there. Yellow skin, dead eyes, and Harris. Harris Keilman. That look of concentration on his face, the outstretched hand. His warning for her to run. She remembered all of it in vivid detail but she was starting to doubt herself. Had she really seen him? Even so, had he really had anything to do with what happened to Brian? Of course he hadn’t, you couldn’t just…do that to someone, right? It wasn’t like Harris had any kind of superpowers. But still.

  “Yo yo,” A guy named Joey stood up and faced the css. “Since the teacher’s gone, how about I ask the question that everyone else want to ask,” He looked directly at Mariel as he spoke. “What’s your deal, fag?”

  “Hey, leave her alone!” A redhead named Ange protested.

  “That’s a dude,” Another girl reminded her – the statement was met with snickering throughout the cssroom.

  “Hey!” A boy named Terry shouted out from the front. “Did she do anything to you? If not, leave her alone!”

  “Why are you calling that thing a she?” Joey ughed. “You all remember it’s Chris, right? The quarterback? Way to let your school down, fag.”

  Another ripple of ughter seized the cssroom but quieted down quickly as Meredith stood up.

  “I don’t know why you’re acting so surprised,” Meredith said, stepping away from Mariel and toward the front of the cssroom to stare Joey down. “Didn’t you read the letter?”

  “Oh yeah, the letter!” Joey ughed. “Oh, what did it say? Oh yeah, something like…’Dear Students and Parents, this year a male student who now identifies as a female will be joining the tenth grade’…yeah we all got it. It’s still stupid!”

  “And what’s so stupid about it?” Meredith demanded.

  “Where does it even go to the bathroom?” Joey asked the css, causing more snickering. “I don’t want that thing in the bathroom with my girlfriend!”

  “Uh, to be honest, Joey,” Laura, Joey’s girlfriend, apparently spoke up from the front. “I don’t really care.”

  “Okay, but what if he rapes you?” Joey asked.

  “Shut up!” Meredith said, suddenly shoving Joey back with both hands. He stumbled backward, nearly tripping over a desk.

  “Hey,” Joey said, steadying himself. “You know, I will hit a girl.”

  “We know,” Someone called out from the back.

  Thankfully, Mrs. Baker entered and ordered everyone back to their seats; Meredith stared Joey down for a few seconds before following the instruction and taking her seat beside Mariel, who had buried her head in her arms, ft on the desk. Mariel touched her arm and mouthed ‘It’s okay’ as Mariel peeked up at her, eyes bloodshot and tear stained.

  “Css,” Mrs. Baker said as everyone began to take their seats. “To put any rumors to rest, before they begin, there was an incident in the gymnasium. We won’t be saying any names yet, but a student colpsed and is being taken to the hospital.”

  “Who was it?” Someone asked in confusion.

  “She just said they aren’t going to say the name,” Joey rolled his eyes. “Try listening.”

  “That’s enough, Joey,” Mrs. Baker snapped, when returned to her normal, monotone voice. “School will be letting out early today, so when the bell rings, please make your way to the parking lot and board your buses, or your cars if you drove here.”

  After a few more moments of murmuring and unanswered questions, the bell rang, and Mariel found herself outside the cssroom, pulling her backpack up onto her shoulders as Meredith walked beside her.

  “My mom’s still at work,” Mariel said worriedly to Meredith. “She won’t come get me…I know she won’t and…I can’t…I can’t ride the bus!”

  “No biggie,” Meredith said. “I rode here with Amanda and her sister. We can drop you off at your pce.”

  “Are you sure?” Mariel frowned. “I don’t want to-”

  “What answer do you want to that?” Meredith asked suddenly. “Do you want me to be like ‘oh, okay, take the bus’?’

  “Well, no, I-”

  “Then say what you mean,” Meredith said, gently taking Mariel’s arm and guiding her toward the front door of the school. “We talked about this, over the summer, remember? Jesus, you used to be so confident.”

  “Yeah I don’t think any of that was real,” Mariel muttered under her breath. Meredith continued to gently guide her toward the doors, and suddenly, they were joined by Amanda just as they pushed through to the parking lot.

  “We taking the little princess home?” Amanda poked Mariel in the shoulder. “Could take her to the mall with us.”

  “Can’t,” Meredith shook her head. “She’s got rules. School and home, that’s it.”

  “Grounded?” Amanda frowned.

  “No, her mom’s paranoid.”

  That part was true. Before the transition, as it were, ‘Chris’ had been on a retively long leash. Football practice after school, the occasional party, visits to the arcade, hanging out at Brian’s house, all of that had dissolved when she’d made the fateful decision to transition. Mariel was restricted to home and school, at least until she got a better handle on her transition. And absolutely no boys. As if.

  Mariel passed the ride home mostly in silence, listening to the chatter between the other three girls. In some ways it was all too much; just four months ago, she’d been dating Meredith. Now she felt like some kind of dressup doll. Of course, that was just her overthinking the situation – Meredith was still her friend, just…a different kind of friend. To be honest, she felt as if she were far closer to Meredith now than she had ever been as a boyfriend. There was some kind of connection between girls; more secrets were shared, there were no eggshells to walk around. It was different; a pleasant kind of different, and while it was intimidating and scary, it was something that Mariel felt she’d been missing all along. It was like a piece of her had been missing, well, several pieces, and now she was just a little more complete. The cost of that completeness though, could she handle it?

  She waved goodbye to Meredith as the car sped off and she made her way to the front door. Stepping inside, the dropped her backpack onto the floor of the foyer and immediately colpsed onto the couch, spreading out her legs and throwing her head onto the back cushion as she let out the world’s longest sigh.

  “I’ve gotta get this wig off,” She muttered, reaching toward the estic band that hugged her head. She hated the way she looked without it, but god it hurt! Just as she was working her fingers beneath the band, a knock sounded at the front door. She froze. She couldn’t answer the door like this, could she? “Oh come on,” She said to herself. “You survived school, what could be worse?”

  She considered ignoring it, but the knock sounded again, louder than before. It took all of her willpower to stand and walk across the living room, to the mud room that served as a foyer, and finally, to the front door. She pulled it open to reveal Harris Keilman standing on her front porch.

  “We need to talk,” Harris said. “About what you saw today.”