“Alright, we’ve got a deadline now so we better finish your costume.”

  Chiyo and I are in the club room on a Wednesday afternoon. So far we’ve kind of put off my costume because it's the hardest. But now we need it in a few days for the photo shoot for the flier. We have two halves of a checkered purple and cream kimono on the sewing table and we’re trying to decide the next step.

  I nod, “Are you still thinking we’ll be able to finish the monpe? Wouldn’t it be easier to go with one of the other kimonos?

  Chiyo shakes her head, “There’s no way this woman would have been wearing a nice kimono or dress in 1945, though. You’re the one who told me that, remember?”

  I nod, “Times were hard a-and the government wanted women to reuse old clothing. But maybe she just kept her old clothes in really good shape?”

  We found lots of kimonos and other traditional clothing in the clubroom, but no monpe made from kimono.

  Chiyo sighs and looks down at the checkered purple and cream fabric, “That will be Pn B, I guess. If we don't pull it off. But I think I can do this. It doesn’t even need to look perfect. It is actually more realistic if it looks a little sloppy.”

  I learned in my research that a monpe were pants that women who worked on farms wore well before the war. But during the war, women were expected to make an entire outfit from their old kimonos, including monpe and a jacket-like top.

  It’s most likely what my character would have worn. But, Chiyo’s right that it doesn’t need to be perfect. Poor women usually made their own, and even back then it isn’t like every woman was an expert seamstress.

  “Have you tried the top on, yet?”

  I shake my head and put it on over my uniform. It’s basically like the top part of the kimono, with the bottom chopped off. This part wasn’t too difficult.

  Chiyo looks at me and nods, “That looks pretty good, at least. We probably don't need to fuss with it too much.”

  Chiyo is looking at the women’s fashion book I got from the library. She’s looking back and forth between the image of a woman wearing a monpe and the half of a kimono in her hands.

  “Somehow…I have to make pants out of this.” She ughs softly, “It’s too bad there isn’t an instruction manual.”

  “A-actually…the book says that in women’s magazines at the time, there were instructions for how to make them.”

  Chiyo looks at me with a smirk, “Yeah? Have any women’s magazines from the 1940s?”

  I bow my head, “No.”

  The door to the club room opens and closes, and I turn, expecting to see Ken or Daiki, but I’m surprised to see Mr. Suzuki instead. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him around anything club-reted, even though he is our adviser.

  He smiles at us, “Hello dies. I thought I would check in as the date approaches.” He sees what we’re doing and says, “Ah, working hard on costuming, I see. Carry on, I’m just observing. Pretend I’m not here.”

  We both greet him, and then he begins to hover around us. He looks at me, still wearing the top of the monpe, then at the fabric on the table, then at the book that we have open next to it. It's pretty hard to continue to work normally with him watching.

  He smiles and looks a little misty-eyed as he looks at the photograph in the book, “In my earliest memories, that’s what my mother was wearing. I had forgotten that.”

  Chiyo says, “R-really? She wore monpe made from kimono scraps?”

  He nods, “I was born in 1941, so I remember a little of the war. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice on how to make them. I was just a little boy, and my mother has long since passed away.” He ughs, “Even if she were still alive, I don’t think she would have wanted to help you. I remember her happily throwing them away when my father got her new clothes after the war. She didn’t think they were very fttering.”

  I ugh with him, “That’s a really nice memory.”

  He nods, “It is. Thank you two for helping me remember it.”

  “S-sir…do you know if the library has women’s magazines from the time of the war?”

  He smiles at me, “Ah, good thinking.” He strokes his beard for a moment while he furrows his brow, “I doubt they have any of the original magazines here…but they might have some microfilm. Would you like me to go look for you?”

  “O-oh…you don’t have to do that, sir. We can go and do it.”

  He shakes his head, “I’d be happy to. I’m feeling nostalgic now. It will be nice to go and look for the magazines my mother used to read. I also happen to know how to view microfilm. Do either of you?”

  Chiyo ughs, “I don't even know what microfilm is.”

  She looks at me and I say, “Me neither.”

  “Okay. I’ll go do that. And I’ll have any information about monpe printed out and bring them back to you.”

  Chiyo and I exchange a look, and I know we’re both thinking – Is he going to wander off and forget about us?

  Still, in the end I say, “Th-that would be really helpful sir, thank you.”

  After he leaves, I help Chiyo put the finishing touches on her own outfit for the py, a pin blue western-style dress that women were wearing in the post-war period. Luckily this is a much easier task. We had plenty of dresses that would have worked in the club room. The only thing left to do is bring out the bust a little more for her, because right now the dress is a little too tight.

  However, once we finish with that task in a few hours, we start to worry that Mr. Suzuki hasn't returned.

  Chiyo says, “I guess…we can go and look for ourselves tomorrow. Was probably a mistake to think that he would be reliable.”

  I nod, and we start to get things ready to lock up the club room. But just as I'm about to turn off the light, Mr. Suzuki comes through the door.

  He smiles, “Hello again, dies. Sorry I was gone so long. I got a little distracted reading some of those old articles. It was quite fascinating. There was even some old poetry that I found quite-”

  He notices that Chiyo and I are staring at him anxiously, causing him to chuckle, “Oh. Silly me. I should have led with the good news. I found what you were looking for. There were actually quite a few different articles about making monpe from kimono, but this one has step-by-step photos, so I think it will be most helpful.”

  He hands Chiyo a few of pieces of paper and she quickly flips through them. As she does, her smile gets wider and wider.

  “I-I can do this! Thank you, Mr. Suzuki!”

  He smiles, “It's no problem. I am the adviser after all. About time I contributed something, isn't it?”

  I ugh, “Thank you sir.”

  He smiles, “I must commend you both for going to such lengths for accurate costuming. You two do good research.”

  Chiyo puts the papers down and cps me on the back, “Nagisa did the research. And yeah, she did a great job. I had never even heard of monpe.”

  He smiles at me, “I look forward to seeing the finished product. Have a good evening, you two.”

  He sees himself out as Chiyo pores over the microfilm printouts some more, “I can do it. But this is going to be tough, and might take multiple tries. I think we’ll need Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday until the shoot. Are you free? I could use the help.”

  “O-of course!”

  I want to say something about how beautiful it is that we are working so hard towards a common goal, but I know I'd get ughed at.

  Saki puts the camera up to her face and points it at me while she looks through the viewfinder, “Alright, I think I have all the settings where they need to be. Are you ready?”

  “U-um…I think so.”

  It's time for the photoshoot with Saki. I'm wearing sandals, a purple monpe and a head scarf over my hair.

  Chiyo and I only finished the monpe pants about two hours ago. We (mostly she) figured it out on the second try, but that also means we had to use two different kimonos. So my top has a checkered purple and cream pattern, while the bottom is a solid purple. But they match well enough. Luckily, we found out that monpe weren't always matching. Women just had to work with what they had on hand, after all.

  Ken and Daiki also finished making the back wall and the window for the set. We moved it to the stage so there would be good lighting for the pictures. I'm standing in front of the window, unsure how I should pose.

  Akane rolls her eyes, “You look like the prettiest little World War II wife ever. Stop being so bashful.”

  Both Akane and Chiyo are here too. They are standing on either side of Saki. Chiyo makes sense because she knows how she wants the flier to look. I think Akane is mostly just here to tease me. She did bring snacks for ter, though.

  I feel kind of alone on my side of the stage, with the three of them examining me.

  Chiyo nods, “It's true. You look great.”

  Saki nods, “Agreed. So…let’s do a few of you standing by the window inside the house. And then I think it might be neat to do a few where I’m taking pictures from the outside and you’re in the window. Sound good?”

  Chiyo nods, “Works for me.”

  “U-um…how should I stand?”

  Saki looks to Chiyo who says, “Well…we should do our best to capture your character’s essence. How do you think she would have stood?”

  I think about it for a moment, “M-maybe…like this. It’s how I stand for most of the py.” I move so my shoulders are square with the camera and fold my hands across my lower abdomen.

  Chiyo nods, “That works. What about her face? What’s her emotional through-line in the py?”

  “Um…she's v-very worried about her depressed daughter who she loves very much. But also very hopeful that she has found love. And that it will help her heal. So...I should look worried but also hopeful?"

  Chiyo smiles, “I've seen that face in rehearsal. Should we do a few lines to get you in character?”

  I look at Akane and Saki and feel a little nervous. But that's silly. They are my friends. And before long I'll have to do this in front of strangers.

  I nod, “Um…okay.”

  “How about the anpan conversation?”

  I nod.

  “Okay, let’s start.”

  I look at Chiyo sternly and wag my finger at her as I say, “Ya know, he wouldn't give ya an anpan if he hadn't taken a shine to you.”

  Chiyo sighs and shakes her head, “You see too much in a pastry, mother.”

  I ugh wryly, “Even a pastry can carry a lotta weight.” I point at her and narrow my eyes, "It's you who should have the courage ta look into it a bit more deeply.”

  Chiyo looks away from me and frustratedly sighs, “Mr. Kinoshita gave it to me to thank me, mother, that's all.”

  I scoff at her, “There's another hidden meanin’ in that anpan, I'm convinced of it. Call it a mother’s intuition.”

  Chiyo stomps her foot and with a loud, shaky voice says, “WILL YOU PLEASE STOP BRINGING UP THE ANPAN!?”

  I'm quiet for a moment, looking on in shock at how upset she is about this. I soften my voice and give her a small smile, “Look, sweetie. This thing is crucial for you and I'm not goin’ to rest until I get to the bottom of that anpan.”

  Chiyo smiles and in her normal voice says, “There, that's it! Hold that face!”

  I do as I'm instructed, but to my surprise Saki isn't immediately ready. She ughs, “S-sorry! I got caught up in all that.”

  Akane ughs, “Me too. I kind of forgot we were even taking pictures.”

  Nagisa in her costume for the py.(Art by saika.luna17)

  …

  We just finished the photoshoot. Saki thinks she got some good ones for Chiyo to choose from. I feel very relieved. Between working on the monpe and the photoshoot, it has been a tense weekend. But now I feel like I can rest.

  The four of us are sitting on the edge of the stage now chatting and eating some snacks Akane brought.

  Saki says, “Thank God you brought some anpan. I really wanted one after that little showcase.” She smiles at Akane, "The on-theme catering is impressive.”

  Akane ughs, “I actually didn't know about anpan being in the py. But I did know Nagisa loves them.”

  I nod as I munch on one of them, “I-it’s true.”

  We all ugh about the coincidence.

  Not long after, Saki sighs and stands up after finishing her anpan. In a very dejected voice she says, “I guess I need to get back to painting. But before I do…” She looks at me and runs her hand on my sleeve, “Where did you get this kind of outfit? I’ve never seen anything like it. I want it. Or well…one my size, anyway. Don't think yours will fit. Where did you even get it?”

  Chiyo responds, “We made it from two old kimonos. It's what lots of women wore back then.”

  Saki looks at Chiyo with eyes that are practically sparkling, “You have…vintage clothes in your club room?! And you know how to do alterations!?” She pauses for a moment and taps a finger on her chin, “Hmm…can I be in three clubs?”

  Chiyo ughs, “I thought you might be into fashion with the outfits I've seen you in. And you always have on cute bracelets.”

  Saki nods and thumps her cane on the ground, “I even accessorize with my cane.” She holds out a yellow flowery bracelet that is connected to her cane and looped around her wrist.

  “Well, we have nothing but vintage clothes and old costumes in there from the old days of the drama club. So, we were able to find enough period clothes for three people. Took some digging, though.”

  “Well jeez, now I want to do some digging.”

  Chiyo ughs, “Hmm…our club probably won't exist next year. If it doesn't, I'll make sure I leave you the key so you can do a little shopping. It's the least I can do for your help with this.”

  What?!

  Saki's face lights up, “That would be cool. Alright, I've gotta go. I'll get you the pictures ter tonight. Email works?”

  Chiyo gives Saki her email address and then we say our goodbyes to her.

  Once the three of us are sitting down again, Akane pokes my cheek, “Why do you look all sad all of a sudden?”

  I look at Chiyo and say, “There…won't be a drama club next year?”

  I must have sounded upset, because the pyful mood from earlier is suddenly gone.

  Akane says, “Well…you're all third years, right?”

  Chiyo nods, “Right now the whole club graduates in the Spring, Nagisa. I'm sorry…I shouldn't have brought it up right now.” She smiles softly, "I'm…gd you like the club so much that you're upset it won't be here though.”

  I frown, “I…hadn't really thought of next year yet. I think it would be so sad if there isn't drama club next year. What if someone wants to join and finds that it's gone?”

  Akane puts an arm over my shoulders and says, “That's what happened to you at your old school, huh?”

  I nod, “I w-was so excited to join and…then there wasn't a club. I don't want that to happen to someone else.”

  Chiyo nods, “Well…we will see what we can do after the py. Maybe we'll find people who want to continue it.”

  “I hope so…maybe the py will get people interested.”

  Chiyo smiles, “Yeah, maybe.”

  Akane chimes in, “If you two perform like you did tonight I think you'll have a whole lot of people interested.”

  “Now then…if I remember correctly, you wanted me to make her clothes transparen-Ow!.”

  “Y-you didn't have to hit him, Chiyo.”

  Chiyo and I are in the graphic design room for the school newspaper. Ichiro just opened the photograph of me that we emailed to him. I’m wearing my costume and look very motherly. In fact, I've seen the look on my own mother's face many times before. Especially any time we went to the doctor, hoping for answers about my condition. That's probably where I got it from.

  Chiyo scoffs, “I just flicked the back of his head. And he should be lucky to get off so easily. If I were Akane he probably wouldn't have a head left.”

  He sighs while rubbing the back of his head, “Yeah, yeah. I knew the risks and I still made the joke. Anyway…give me like 30 minutes.”

  “R-really? That's all it will take?”

  “I think so. I just have to isote you from the background, lower the opacity, and then put you back in. Might also add an outer glow to make it a little more…spectral.”

  Chiyo and I exchange a look as if to say - Did you understand any of that? I can see that neither of us do.

  He ughs at us, “I can add in the py's title and stuff too, if you leave it all with me.”

  Chiyo writes everything down for Ichiro. Then the two of us head to the cafeteria for a snack while we wait for Ichiro to do his work.

  …

  We just finished our snacks, and I find I’m curious about something.

  “Do you really think Akane would kill him for joking about my clothes being see-through?”

  Chiyo grins, “Probably. She…really cares about you.”

  “You care about me too. And you only flicked him.”

  She ughs, “Did you want me to kill him?”

  “N-no! Of course not. I think flicking him was too much.”

  “Then…what are you saying?”

  “I'm saying….why do you think her reaction would be different?”

  “U-um….I don't know for sure…but I think maybe…she cares about you a little differently than I do.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Chiyo fidgets with one of her braids and then strings words together so quickly I have a hard time keeping up, “I dunno. She just has a temper, you know? A-and you two are closer than we are. I dunno. I'm far from an expert on her these days. I don't really know what I'm talking about. I was mostly just trying to scare Ichiro.” She looks at the time, “W-we need to go back.”

  “It's only been 15 minutes.”

  “Yeah, well…we need to make sure Ichiro is doing his job! You know how he is.”

  I'm at a little shop at the bottom of the hill. It’s across from The Shanghai. It mostly looks like an antique shop. I suppose that's the most fitting pce for an art showcase in this little town.

  There are several Yamaku students milling about, as well as several older people. There isn't really an in between. I think I heard that the people who live in this town are on the older side. That's certainly how it looks every time I come down here.

  Eventually, I find the student I’m looking for.

  “Nagisa? What are you doing here?”

  I smile, “Hi Saki. I wanted to come see your painting.”

  She smiles, “Aw. You’re the sweetest.”

  “Well…you took photos for the drama club and wouldn't let us pay you, so…you might be sweeter.”

  She ughs, “I don't think that's possible. If I were any sweeter than you, I’d have diabetes.”

  “SERIOUSLY?!”

  I’m startled by the very loud outburst of a girl nearby, who is now approaching us.

  That's a voice that could rival Misha.

  She’s about as tall as Saki, with brown eyes and short dark brown hair in a bob kind of like mine.

  Saki ughs and smiles at the girl, “Sorry. I couldn't help making the joke with you in earshot.”

  She crosses her arms and grumbles, “Come to see your art and what do I get in return? My medical condition mocked.”

  I frown at Saki, “Th-that wasn’t very nice of you.”

  Chisato looks at me, “Trust me, Nagisa. She’s not as sweet as you. Miso soup is sweeter than she is.”

  Saki ughs, “Nagisa, this is my best friend, Chisato.”

  She scoffs, “Former best friend.” She walks over to me and loops arms with me, “I think Nagisa's my best friend now. My blood sugar is low from being around you too much. I could use the sweetness.”

  I ugh while Saki sighs and asks, “Are you really upset with me?”

  “A little, yeah. You don't hear me making jokes about your condition, do you?”

  Saki frowns, “You're right. I was just being silly and wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.”

  Chisato unloops her arm with mine and gives Saki a stern look, “It's alright. I forgive you.” The next instant she looks around excitedly with a smile on her face, “Now…I think Nagisa and I are both here to see a painting!”

  Her level of energy rivals Misha too.

  Saki ughs and guides us to the painting. It's the one I saw her working on in the art room. It’s a beautiful brown-eyed girl with red hair in twintails.

  Chisato says, “Sh-she looks….so good, Saki.” She half-ughs half-sniffles, “She would be embarrassed you painted her.”

  Saki ughs, “Yeah. I thought the same thing. I thought about painting her to look embarrassed but then I thought she’d hate me if I did.”

  As the two of them talk more about the girl in the painting, I approach it to look at it more closely. Then I look at the little card on the wall next to it. The title is just a name - “Kayoko.”

  “You painted her in her favorite outfit too – the one she got during our first shopping trip in the city together. Th-that’s…a nice touch.”

  Saki ughs, “She never liked shopping quite as much as you or I though, did she? She was always more pumped about where we’d eat.”

  Chisato ughs, “You should have painted her scarfing down a bowl of ramen.”

  As I continue to listen to Saki and Chisato talk about her, I realize they are only using past tense. And while they are both composed, they are both also very emotional.

  I think back to when I saw Saki using a photograph of the two of them together as reference when she was painting. Saki looked pretty much the age she does now in the same photo.

  I put that all together and come to a sad conclusion.

  Kayoko passed away. And recently. It sounds like it used to be the three of them all the time. It would be like…if Akane or Chiyo passed away.

  I hadn't really thought about the fact that some students at Yamaku, some of my cssmates, have conditions that could shorten their lives. That’s…

  “-nk, Nagisa?”

  Oh, I think Saki’s talking to me.

  “Huh?”

  Saki raises an eyebrow, “I said…sorry, we've been leaving you out. What do you think of the painting?”

  “Oh…it's…she's…very beautiful.”

  Saki smiles, “Thank you. It helps having a beautiful person to paint. The date of this little show just happened to be her first birthday since she…passed. So…I thought I’d make her a painting.”

  I should let the three of them be alone. As alone as they can be in a public pce, anyway. They will feel like I need to be included in the conversation otherwise and they shouldn't have to do that.

  Plus if I stay here I’m probably going to cry. And I don't want to make this about me.

  I reach into my bag and pull out a flier for the py, “Um…here. I wanted you to have this. To see how it turned out. We’re putting them all up tomorrow.”

  Saki takes the flier and looks at it with a smile, “It looks great. I’m gd that all worked out. It helped having a pretty subject in this one too. I'm excited to see the py.”

  “Thanks again for your help.” I look at the painting and then at each of them and say, “I’m…very sorry you lost her.”

  Chisato nods, without looking away from the painting, “We are too.”

  Saki adds with a soft smile, “Thanks for coming.”

  Author's Note: It probably seems like I made up the whole scene about anpan in Living With Father. After all, it’s a food Nagisa is always eating in CLANNAD. But it is a real scene in the py! Nagisa rewrote some of the scene of course, but the elements of the conversation are the same. The young woman’s suitor really does give her an anpan, and while her father is convinced that it means he likes her, the young woman doesn’t agree. I knew I had to find a way to include it here after I read it.