There's one week until the festival.

  My drama clubmates and I are standing together in the aisle of the auditorium, looking up at the stage.

  We just finished putting our set together. It only took a few hours. Daiki is much stronger than I realized, because he was able to carry the wooden walls with only a little help from the rest of us. It worried me a lot, because he wasn't using his cane. But at this point I know I can trust him to know his limits.

  He and Ken rigged the walls so they would stay in pce. Just like he wanted, there are two walls on either side of the stage, and one about four meters back, with a window.

  Chiyo and I put down some tatami all along the floor of the little house. We also put in a futon, a chabudai, and a counter space near a prop oven for her kitchen.

  It really does look like a cozy little home for a single woman in the post-war era. It makes me miss my family home a little too, since we sleep in futons and use tatami.

  I guess we’re a little old-fashioned. I'm gd I get to see my parents in a week.

  Daiki says, “Well…now that we have the set how we want it, we need to think about how it’ll change in between scenes. Luckily, we don’t have that much to move.”

  Ken nods, “Yeah, can we nail that down tonight? I know we’re all tired but…I’m a little anxious about that.”

  Daiki nods, “Sure. I think we’ll probably leave the kitchen area and chabudai alone, but we should move the futon around some to show that time is passing. We could even hang it out the window to air out and stuff.”

  I nod, “That’s a good idea!”

  Daiki ughs, “I’m gd you like it, because it will be your responsibility to move it, since Chiyo is in every scene and never leaves the stage. We’ll find a couple spots where you come in with the lights down and you’ll have time to move it.”

  I nod, “I-I can do that.”

  Chiyo nods, “Great! We'll practice that a bunch so we can do it seamlessly.”

  After that, we practice how we'll enter and exit each scene several times. And when and how to move the futon. This is most important for Ken, who has to get used to the dimensions of the set and where the furniture is located.

  Akane and I are in my room quietly doing some homework. Well, I am. She already finished hers while I was at drama club. So she's on the bed with my dango plush and standing by in case I need help.

  Before long, Chiyo drops by. This has been how most evenings go since she and Akane make up. After she and Ken part ways for the day, she comes here and does homework with us and we chat about our days.

  Today, though, she doesn't have any homework with her. And she has a look on her face that I would describe as desperate.

  Before I can say something, Akane sits up in the bed and says, “Everything okay?”

  “I need…to talk about Ken.”

  Akane nods and starts to get up to leave, but Chiyo waves her hand at her, “You can stay.”

  Akane smiles, “Really?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I trust you again. And could probably use multiple perspectives. Don't let it go to your already very rge head.”

  Akane's smile gets wider in spite of the insult, “O-okay.”

  I ask, “D-did…something happen?”

  Chiyo sits down on the bed and sighs, “Not really. That's the problem. But it's getting to the point where I can't stand touching him or being alone with him without k-kissing him and stuff. Normally I'm just happy to be with him. But right now it's driving me crazy.”

  “Well…you’re going to tell him soon, aren't you? After the py?”

  “I…don't know.”

  Akane raises her eyebrows, “Being around him makes you want him, but you don't want to tell him and then…actually have him?”

  Akane csps her hands together and shakes her head. She is uncharacteristically quiet when she says, “I…I’m just so scared.”

  Akane scoots closer to her, “I get…being scared to tell him. But he’s crazy about you too. I can see it. He’s always walking arm and arm with you for a reason.”

  Chiyo scoffs, “Yeah, because he needs help.”

  Akane shakes her head, “You might be as dense as he is.”

  Chiyo gres at her, “We only very recently became friends again. I don't know if I'm in a pce where I want to be teased by you.”

  Akane sighs and says, “Nagisa, take over.” Then she pretends to zip her lips shut.

  “Um…what she means is…he might be asking you for help for reasons other than needing help. After all, he never asks anyone else to help him. I've never seen him walk like that with anyone else. He uses his cane when you aren't around.”

  She smiles, “Ohhh. You're right.” She turns to Akane, "Why couldn't you just say it like that?”

  Akane sighs in response.

  Chiyo ughs and looks back at me, “So…you're saying…he wants to touch me?”

  Akane says, “Bingo.”

  Chiyo scoffs, “That zipper didn't st long.”

  “Well, I won't say anything else insulting. Promise. Especially now that you finally got there.”

  Chiyo ughs, “Way to immediately contradict yourself. But whatever.”

  Akane points at Chiyo’s chest, “Look, all we're saying is that he's walking arm in arm with you as often as possible to touch your boobs.”

  “Akane! Th-that's not-”

  Chiyo interrupts me with a flushed face, “Th-that a move you use, Akane?”

  Akane blushes a little, “I…have, yeah. Works nicely on busty girls.”

  Chiyo cracks up ughing and so does Akane. I can't help but join in, even if I don't agree that Ken's doing it to touch her chest. At least, that's not the only reason. He just likes to be close to her.

  After she stops ughing, Chiyo says, “I get it. There's a good chance he likes me. And I'm gd he wants to touch me. Nagisa has helped me feel more confident about all that too. But…that's not what scares me. Not the main thing, anyway.”

  Akane looks dumbfounded, “Huh? Are you a commitment phobe or something?”

  I haven't filled Akane in on this part of Chiyo’s retionship concerns. I assumed it was something Chiyo would tell her when she's ready.

  Though I am a little surprised she didn't figure it out, given their big falling out.

  An exasperated Chiyo locks eyes with Akane, “You know why. Think about it. Remember why we had our fight?”

  Akane's face slowly morphs from confusion, to realization, to sadness.

  “You're right. I do. I’M the dense one now.”

  Chiyo nods, “Agreed.” Then she frowns and puts a hand on her lower abdomen and starts to get choked up, “Even i-if he likes me…he likes a Chiyo that he thinks can have children one day. B-but that…that's not me.” She starts to tear up a little, and Akane hugs her before I can. Chiyo hugs her back.

  I say, “I-I know that's hard. And neither of us can ever understand how hard. But…I think Ken will understand.”

  While still hugging Akane, Chiyo tearfully says, “B-but…what if that's important to him? What if he always imagined having a pregnant wife?”

  Akane says, “He’ll adjust his imagination. He loves you, Chiyo. Deeply. And truly.”

  Chiyo breaks the hug and looks Akane in the eyes, “How can you be so sure?”

  “I’ve seen you two together enough to know. Even when we weren't talking and I saw you two, I could tell he loved you.”

  Chiyo fshes a mischievous grin, “That can't be everything, though. Maybe you know a little something about friends falling in love? That's why you can spot the signs?”

  Akane gets flustered and is speechless for a second before she says, “I…I do know something about that. I fell in love…with Misha, you know?” She smiles, “That's the busty girl who I walked arm in arm with after all.”

  With a twinkle in her eyes, Chiyo replies, “You seem like too much of an expert. Is that the only time you fell in love with a friend?”

  Akane’s face turns red and she looks away from Chiyo. I don't understand why.

  Maybe she is having feelings for Misha again? That would make this hard to talk about.

  Chiyo puts her hand on Akane’s shoulder and smiles, “Sorry…I shouldn’t have brought that up. Now I’m the one who was teasing but went too far.”

  Akane smiles back and looks a little less embarrassed now.

  Chiyo continues, “But anyway…maybe you’re right he’d accept it. Because of love.” She looks at me and then back at Akane, “But…how should I even approach it? How do I tell him?”

  I reply, “I think…just confess first.”

  Akane nods, “Talking about the future will start pretty quickly, with graduation coming. Tell him about your health then.”

  Chiyo nods and purses her lips thoughtfully, “It won’t be…misleading not to tell him right away? It'd be like…selling him damaged goods.”

  “D-don't say that!”

  Akane shrugs, “I dunno, Nagisa. She's kind of right.”

  Chiyo says, “I…am?”

  I feel a rare emotion bubbling inside of me - anger. I jump to my feet and raise my voice, “Sh-she's not damaged!”

  Akane assertively says, “I think she is. But so are you. And so am I. So is everyone. No one tells their partner everything in the early days of a retionship. And no one's perfect.” She turns to Akane, “There's probably something about Ken that will surprise you down the road.”

  My anger fades away and now I feel a little embarrassed about my reaction. Akane ughs, “I might have to make you angry more often. It was pretty cute.”

  I need to take a css on how to be angry and intimidating. Daiki basically said the same thing. Hopefully I'm more convincing on stage.

  I sigh and disregard her comment. Then I turn to Chiyo, “She's right…and because you and Ken love each other…you'll understand and accept his…damage, i-if you have to call it that. He will accept yours too. I know he will.”

  Chiyo sighs, “Damn. You two are both that sure about this?”

  Akane and I exchange a look and then I turn to her and nod and I say, “Do you think we're wrong?”

  Chiyo shakes her head and then looks down and grips the hem of her skirt so tightly her knuckles turn white. She’s quiet for a while, then she looks up at each of us, “Okay.” She takes a deep breath. “Okay. I'm going to tell him. At the festival. After the py. You're both right…I…I have to do it. I won't back out this time.”

  I smile at Akane, who smiles back at me.

  I couldn't convince her to go for it on my own. I'm happy that we convinced her together. Especially because I think it means Akane and Chiyo are truly friends again.

  Three days until the festival.

  We are doing our first dress rehearsal. And the first few scenes have gone really well.

  As I’m walking off the stage with the lights down after one of my scenes and feeling very good about things, I suddenly remember I was supposed to move the futon. I whirl around and open my mouth to say something, but it's already too te.

  Ken trips on the futon and nds on it. Luckily it gave him a soft nding and he looks unhurt. I'm very relieved. I messed up, but I won't make that mistake again.

  Because he looks okay, I'm very surprised when he sms his fist on the ground and angrily bellows, “DAMMIT! WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT FUTON THERE!?”

  I flinch at his outburst and find myself at a loss for words, with my mouth helplessly opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. I end up clenching my eyes shut.

  I've never seen him get even slightly upset before. He's normally so reserved and calm.

  My mistake must be much worse than I realize if it made him react that way. He’s yelling and cursing at ME. And I deserve it.

  I hear Chiyo walk over and say, “Are you okay, Ken?”

  He curtly responds, “Yeah. Fine.”

  He still sounds so mad. I can't open my eyes and see that.

  Then I hear Daiki, Ken, and Chiyo talking quietly together at the front of the stage.

  They're talking about how I messed up. I know they are. Ken probably wants to kick me out of the py. He could have gotten hurt. It's my fault

  Now I hear Chiyo and Ken coming towards me. I brace myself, anticipating the worst.

  Now they are right in front of me. Chiyo says, “Something you want to say, Ken?”

  “Um…yeah. Sorry, Nagisa. That was…uncalled for.”

  I shake my head, with my eyes still sealed shut, “No! I-it wasn't! I messed up. I-I'm…I'm so sorry.”

  He says, “Mistakes happen. It's okay.”

  I open my eyes, and he still looks annoyed. But not angry.

  “Just…make sure it doesn't happen when we have an audience, okay?”

  My heart starts beating very fast.

  What if I DO mess it up again?

  Chiyo says, “Ken!” and sps his arm. And they have a conversation, and I think they both said something to me. And I nodded. But it's all a blur. All I can think about is what will happen if I make the same mistake.

  I can't do this.

  The rest of rehearsal after that is a disaster. I regurly forget my lines, where I am supposed to be on stage, and when I'm supposed to be on stage. Each time I make a mistake, the doubts in my head get louder.

  I can't do this. I CAN'T DO THIS. I CAN'T DO THIS!

  After the rehearsal I intentionally take my time changing out of my costume. Chiyo and Ken leave when I tell them to go on ahead, and when I get out of the dressing room I don't see Daiki either.

  That's a relief, because I've been on the verge of tears since my first mistake and now that I'm alone, I can finally let them go.

  I head to the club room and I sit down at the table where we eat our lunch and I y my head on my arms and I cry.

  Why did I EVER think I could do this? Ken and Chiyo are so good and I'm ruining everything. Why do they even put up with me? Why did they let me join drama club? Why did they let me on the stage?

  Why did I EVER think I could do this? I have no experience. I have no idea how to be a good actress. I'm ruining this py that Ken, Akane, and Daiki have worked so hard on. I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of everyone and it's going to make them all look bad.

  Why did I EVER think I could do this? Why did I invite so many people? My parents are coming! What if I make a mistake with them watching? My dad was such a good actor and I'm TERRIBLE.

  I don't know what to do. I-

  Suddenly, the club room door opens and the light comes on.

  I sit up and hastily wipe my tears away on my sleeve. I hear Daiki’s deep voice, “Someone in here?”

  “U-um…yes.”

  “Nagisa? Why were the lights-”

  Once he’s close enough to see me, he stops talking and walking and I can see on his face that he’s very worried about me. I guess I didn't do a good job hiding that I was crying.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Y-yeah.”

  I must not have been convincing. He frowns and takes a seat in his throne chair next to me, “Anything I can do to help?”

  I shake my head.

  He gently puts his hand on my back, “Okay. You let me know if there is. I can also leave you alone if that's what you want.”

  He's so sweet. And so good at comforting me. And that's what I need right now. That's what my instincts are telling me.

  “Th-that's not what I want. Stay. Please.”

  “Okay, I'll-”

  While he’s still mid-sentence, I bury my face in his chest and I start to sob again. He puts his arms around me, and it makes me feel very safe. And it keeps my thoughts from getting quite as negative as they did when I was alone.

  This goes on for a few minutes until I feel hollow from crying so much.

  Once I do, I feel a lot better. I'm still anxious and scared, but it's more manageable now.

  I sit up and see that Daiki has a few tears on his face.

  “A-are you okay?”

  He ughs and wipes his tears, “Says the girl who just sobbed for several minutes. I’m fine. You already know I’m a bit of a crier, don't you?”

  I nod, “But…that was for Tortie.”

  He shrugs, “And this was for you. I'm only crying because you are. And I can see you’re having a really hard time.”

  I nod, “I…am.”

  “Is it…what happened tonight with Ken?”

  I nod, “Y-yeah. I just…don't want to mess things up for Chiyo and Ken. I don't even know what I'm doing out there. Especially after tonight. What if I make those mistakes at the festival?”

  Daiki says, “I know Ken got upset. But it wasn’t with you. Mostly, at least.”

  “H-he should be upset with me! I'm the one who was supposed to move the futon when the lights went down and I messed it up!”

  “You're right. You did. But mistakes happen. And yours was a small one for most actors, who would just walk around the futon. That's what frustrated Ken the most. His own limitations.”

  I sigh, “I should be even more careful because Ken can’t see.”

  “Nagisa…you’ve done it right in every other rehearsal. And I bet you’ll do it right every other time from now on, too.”

  I shake my head, “It isn't even just the futon. I feel like…I just weigh them down on stage. I don't belong up there with them.”

  “That's not true. You’re great. You have the hardest role in this py and you’ve been amazing.”

  “I was horrible tonight. D-don’t lie to me.”

  “Okay. I won't. You were bad tonight.”

  I clench my eyes shut and bow my head.

  Even though I told him to be honest, it's hard to hear him say that.

  “But you've been doing great on the whole, Nagisa. Really. You only had a bad night because of what happened with Ken. You're doing a great job overall, okay?”

  I open my eyes and look up at him, “Thank you but…is that what they think?”

  Daiki looks confused, “They…both told you that tonight after Ken apologized.”

  “R-really? I didn't really hear them…b-because I was so upset with myself.”

  “Really. I’ll make sure they tell you again tomorrow.”

  “Y-you don't have to…”

  “As director, it's my job to make sure you are feeling as good as you can about things. So, that's what I’m gonna do. If they knew you were feeling this way, they would want to tell you, anyway.”

  “Wh-what if…I have a bad night…the night of the performance?”

  “You won't.”

  “Y-you can't know that!”

  He sighs, “I can't know for sure. But I'm very confident you won't. I've seen you nail it too many times. You're great in this role. Today was an aberration.”

  “Aberr…ation?”

  He ughs, “One-time thing. We'll do everything we can to make sure you feel good about stuff. As much practice as it takes for you to feel confident again. We can start right now if you want to.”

  “What about Chiyo and Ken?”

  He grins, “I'll py both of their roles, of course. I'm actually the best actor in the club, just didn't want to intimidate all of you. I could even do all three roles.” He looks off thoughtfully, “Maybe a one-man version of this py would work. Hmmm…yes. I would look good in monpe.”

  I don't know if it's because I’m so tired from everything or the deadpan way he said it, but I crack up ughing. I ugh so hard it's a little hard to breathe. Apparently it's contagious, because Daiki starts ughing too.

  Once we come down from our ughing fit, I put my hand on his arm, “Th-thank you, Daiki. I feel much better thanks to you. But um…I’m…sorry I…tackled you and cried like that.”

  He gives me a big smile, “I’m not. Helping you is important to me. And not just because I’m the director. I’m your friend. Helping you feel even a little bit better means a lot to me. Whether it's holding you when you cry or just…helping you see how great you are. I’ll always be happy to do it.”

  I smile at him, “Th-thank you, Daiki. I hope you know I would do the same for you. B-but…you don’t fall to pieces all the time like me.” I giggle, “And…I probably can't quite hold you, anyway.”

  He ughs with me, “No, I don't think that would end well. But…I do know that you would do anything for me or your other friends. That's part of why I l-...Why I'm happy we're friends.”

  I feel a small pain in my chest.

  I'm almost certain that he almost just said he loves me.

  It hurts to know he still feels that way. Especially because I just relied on him so much. I shouldn’t have gotten so physical. It probably hurts him.

  I was hoping he would move on since I can't be with him. I don't want him to hurt.

  But…it also feels good to know he feels that way too. He's such a great person. And he loves me. It makes me feel happy and warm in my chest.

  There’s just also pain.

  And the warm feeling makes me think of Tomoya too. Who I know I'm still in love with.

  My feelings are so jumbled.

  I smile at him and say, “I'm happy we're friends too. Thank you for helping me.”

  After that, we walk back to the dorms together, with me feeling much more confident about everything. I still have some anxiety, and it’s going to be hard. But Daiki gave me the push I needed to see that I can do this. I'll do my very best.

  We’re about to start the st dress rehearsal. Last night's went off without any problems and I feel much better. I’m still a little worried, but I have something else to distract me from it.

  I’m standing on the stage looking towards the door.

  I hope she comes.

  Daiki says, “Nagisa, we should probably get started. I know you wanted her to come, and we gave her some time, but we need to start or we’ll be here really te.”

  I sigh, “Yeah. I know. I wasn't sure she would come anyway. Let's get started.”

  …

  Tonight's rehearsal went really well too.

  Just as the house lights are coming back on, I look to see if anyone is in the auditorium. I smile when I spot a fsh of dark hair going through the door.

  I hope she liked it. She stayed the whole time, that's a good sign.

  …

  After I get in my pajamas and I'm about to get in bed, there's a knock on my door. It's probably Akane, wanting to know how rehearsal went.

  I'm shocked when I open the door and see the dark-haired girl from the library. Now that she's standing, I see that she is much taller than I am. I have to look up at her.

  Without any greeting, she quietly says, “I-it was…good.”

  She doesn't have a book in front of her face this time, but the lighting in the hallway isn't very good. So I still can’t see much of her face.

  Like I thought I had glimpsed before, she has purple eyes. She also has lop-sided bangs that hang over the left side of her face. She puts her hand up over that side of her face and looks away from me when my eyes linger.

  “Th-thank you. I'm gd you made it.”

  She nods with her hand still covering half her face, “...th-th-thank you for letting me come.”

  “You deserved a special screening. Since you gave us the idea.”

  She smiles softly and her voice get a little louder when she says, “I-it's…a very special story to me.” I think I see a few tears make it down her cheeks and then she barely audibly says, “I-I…think I like it even better…with a mother.”

  She says the words so quietly it takes me a moment to understand them.

  She seems upset. But also happy. This py really IS special to her. Personal even. If that's true, her life must have been very hard.

  “Thank you.” I take a small step towards her, “Would it be okay if I hugged you?”

  She shakes her head violently, and a look of panic creeps across her face. She takes a rge step backward and looks down the hall.

  I should have known better than to ask that. I just want to comfort her somehow. But I know I can't.

  Feeling she might run away, I quickly say, “Okay. I won't. I promise.”

  She rexes some, but doesn't come any closer to the door.

  I smile at her, “Thank you so much for telling me you enjoyed it. I've been a little anxious about tomorrow. A-and hearing that someone who knows the py so well enjoyed my performance…i-it makes me feel so much better. I will sleep well tonight, thanks to you.”

  Her eyes get wide, “Y-you…get…anxious?”

  I nod, “This is my first py. And I…made some mistakes in rehearsal recently and it has made me worry. But…you saw it tonight and liked it. So I feel much better.”

  I think I see a soft smile on her face, “I-I'm g-gd I could help. Y-you were really really g-good.” She pauses for a minute and continues, “I…cried specifically because y-you were so good as the mother. I…I know everyone else will like it t-tomorrow. I w-would watch it again i-if I could.”

  That's by far the most she's ever said to me at once. I know it wasn't easy for her. And she did it because she's trying to comfort me. She's such a sweet girl.

  Just as I start to get choked up by her praise, she abruptly and quietly says, “I…have to go,” before turning and heading down the hall.

  I call out, “M-my name's Nagisa.”

  She stops for a moment, and without turning says, “H-Hanako,” before continuing on her way down the hall.

  I close my door and get in bed with a smile on my face.