Alright, so I know what you’re thinking. We saved the bee queen, liberated a city from the evils of coffee, and even fought God on the Moon. Where could this adventure possibly go next?!

  “Phoebe, I think I’d like to take a break”, I interrupted her.

  “What?! But there’s so much more we could do! We could explore the stars, even! Probably!”.

  “Listen, as much as I’ve enjoyed the… utter insanity of the past two weeks, I feel like I’ve done enough adventuring for one after-lifetime. I’d like to just chill out and work at my old haunted house job for a bit”.

  Phoebe was silent for some time. Then… “Can I visit?”. The tentative question surprised me.

  I considered telling her that’s not how haunted houses work. No, visitors must first get lost in mysterious fog. Only after they desperately start seeking shelter for the night will the doors ominously swing open for them. But instead, “Sure” is what came out.

  And so we travelled to my old place of employment near Slime Valley. It was a modest mansion, lovingly maintained with strong interior beams but a ramshackle exterior, complete with scattered roof tiles, peeling paint, and an undead garden. Keeping up the facade of instability while actually being structurally sound was vital. Otherwise we’d face lawsuits, and we already had enough trouble as is fending off those bloodsucking house inspectors.

  I gave the secret knock, and was answered by Josh the zombie. “Hey! If it isn’t…”. He stopped as soon as he saw Phoebe, and wiggled his arms threateningly. “Wooo…”. She gave a blank stare in response.

  Josh turned to me, slightly paler. “You sure brought a tough one, Count Boogula”. I nodded. With that, he welcomed us inside.

  The mood was set with a pipe organ playing ominously in the background. Or at least, it should have been playing ominously. Instead it sounded like the poor instrument was under attack.

  Phoebe walked down the hallway and brushed aside the bats, which were actually just cardboard cutouts hanging from string. I nodded at the craftsmanship, and how they were cleverly placed in the darkest area of the hall.

  Rounding the corner, we came to a dead end. Or so our guests thought…! In reality, it was a false wall made from paper mache. The only clue was the faint chuckling from Greg as he prepared to jump scare us. He yelped as Phoebe tore through the wall, giving a belated “RAAAAGGGHHHH!” in response.

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  With unmatched bravery, she continued on and ripped through another fake wall, revealing the source of the cacophony plaguing our eardrums. Mark the zombie was… struggling with the pipe organ, sweat pouring down his face as he thumped the keys.

  “Um…”, she began. “Count Boogula, what exactly is your role in all of this?”.

  “Well, I play the pipe organ, and use [Spooky Maze] to create the illusion of bats, false walls, and other odd jobs”, I replied.

  Phoebe turned to me with a grim look on her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were so desperately needed here. I understand the situation now”. All I could give was a confused smile in response.

  “How would you score us, miss?”, Greg asked, standing behind her. Phoebe yelped in surprise, quickly turning around with her sword drawn.

  “Oh”, she calmed down immediately after seeing her attacker. “Um…”. Greg couldn’t help his bones rattling up and down in anticipation. “Uh… let’s call it… 4/10…?”.

  Greg collapsed on the spot, scattering all over the floorboards. “4/10”, he sulked. “I’ll never be a ghost at this rate”.

  “No! That’s not true at all!”, Phoebe responded, wishing she had lied more. “You guys have great potential! I’m sure you’ll be terrifying someday! Like… Count Boogula…?”.

  He immediately reformed, more than a little pleased. “Oh, well, I don’t know about that, hehehe. As good as Count Boogula, you said?”, Greg nagged her for confirmation.

  She turned to me, ignoring him completely. “You sure you don’t want to go adventuring again?”.

  I hesitated. Not because I enjoyed all that chaos, no. Definitely not. I just didn’t want to lose touch with the friend I’d made.

  Seeing my reaction, she pulled a strange device out of her bag. “Alright. Take this. It’s called a ‘walkie talkie’, and it can send voices over long distances. It’s like magic”.

  Mechadream’s inventions never ceased to surprise me. We tested them out immediately.

  “Is there a maximum range to these?”, I asked. “Kshh, over”.

  “Like one to five miles depending on terrain, but we’ll ignore that. Kshh, over”, she replied.

  “Well, I’m glad we can still talk to each other. I wish you best of luck, Phoebe. I’m sure you’ll become an A-rank adventurer in no time”.

  She froze for a second. “Oh. Honestly… I don’t really care about ranks so much anymore. I just want to travel around and help people and stuff. Explore more cities, stop more schemes”.

  I was a little surprised at how eager she was to throw herself back into adventuring. But it was her job after all, so I didn’t give it too much thought.