Hey there folks, Sean here at Kentucky Windage, obviously still not in Kentucky during the filming. Today we’ll be shooting the torso some more, but let’s focus on what you came here for, the BIG BORE. Now As a collector of big bore hand-cannons, Gizzy thought it fitting to bring a selection of her personal hand-cannons to play with. Take it away, Gizzy.” He said mean-mugging the camera as it whipped to the table.

  “THIS” She said, panning out to reveal a massive 15 inch gilded and engraved handgun on the table, “Is the 730 Plague. I know you like big bore, and frankly this is the most grain weight you will ever fire from…probably any weapon not mounted down, and it’s out of a handgun. The 730 plague, named after the silent but deadly Black Death, is also a silent but deadly… Black Death-er. Except it doesn’t need rats, and it can reach out at 300 yards and turn you into soup. Believe it or not, Sean, this is capable of throwing 4,700 grains of metal per pull of the trigger, which is something in the ballpark of double your 4 bore rifle."

  “Is that…even something a human can safely fire?” he muttered nervously.

  “Absolutely, and I will not say comfortably, but I will say safely. See, this gun is fully magnetic and runs off a power cell in the magazine. This drunken idea came to me when I was thinking: damn I wish I had all the power of a 50BMG, but the option of a dead silent shot, out of something I can holster and carry. Thus began my journey of the silent 50BMG personal carry. The problem is that literally no 50 cal projectile small enough in any shape to pass through a grip I can hold, that has the mass necessary to be subsonic at 12,000 foot-pounds of energy. Just doesn’t work. The revolver was too big, the one incher…has problems, and then it dawned on me to just use a scaled up MagForge Railgun. See the Magforge railguns we use can load multiple spheres into the same barrel, and using induction, forge them into one projectile. It literally casts them into bigger rounds, typically at the standard handgun velocity of 3,000fps. But we don’t want 3000fps, we want 1080fps, and we want 12,000 foot-pounds of energy. Far more than the 3,000 our standard Blackjack runs. The normal power pack just can't put out that power, and adding 4 makes it too big. BUT, It’s my energy, and I need it NOW. So this magazine is filled with 8 rows of 2, 73-caliber Osmium Balls. As humans often relate to, it always has 2 balls together in pairs unless something fucks up. Now unlike traditional gunpowder weapons that need a sealed pressure chamber locked shut, magnets don't care, so the magazine runs right to the top and in line with the barrel, fully open, so without cocking or racking, the first 2 are just right there in line and ready to fire. Magazine clicks in, trigger pulls, boom. However, this gun has a racking barrel on a spring. Why? Because we want 4 balls in line to get that sweet sweet magical 4,700 grain weight necessary for subsonic shots without losing any power.

  “How’d you get the power pack fixed?” he asked.

  “I went smaller and more dangerous. See, the power packs are nuclear and fully capable of more power. The normal 450 and 30 BlackJacks are designed to shoot a lot of ammo and be swapped out after every mission and re-charged, not dump a quarter of the power in one go. They can dump 4 times the energy if they need to, but it overheats and ruins the cells. That’s a problem for a long term gun with a cell mounted firmly on the frame, intended to fire 2-300 rounds. So I just put one small stack of 4 cells on each magazine and when you fire the mag empty, you have depleted the cells, and it is just screaming hot and ruined. It’s uh, not very economical or safe, you rapid-fire the magazine empty and touch that power cell, and you’ll have an Osirian Empire brand on your hand. Just let it fall, Sean.”

  “I’m gonna wildly guess that gets expensive.”

  “GAWD, it’s so expensive. So the fresh clip locks in, and racking it shoves the barrel backwards and scoops the balls into the chamber on the way forward, letting the other two spring up, in-line and ready. One movement, doubled feed, 4 73 caliber balls in a row. We have this programmable induction Chamber-Forge set to 50 caliber. That means when you pull the trigger, 4 73 caliber balls turn white-hot, get magnetically crammed down into a half inch 50 caliber dart about 5 inches long, and that is what comes out of the gun at just under the sound barrier. With no explosion and the gun set to cool, basically every time the gun fires and the barrel reciprocates, it loads twice and fires a round significantly larger than the magazine could ever hold. The lack of explosion and no sonic boom means this gun fires so quietly, if you clear your throat hard enough at just the right moment, you would not know I fired it. Now alternatively it can also fire one 1158 grain ball at a time at around 2100fps, and you get 4 times the ammo. It’s just not silent anymore because you have a ballistic crack. So 16 rounds of full powered 50BMG, not silent, or a whopping 4 shots in dead quiet sneaky murder mode.”

  “So, what’s the recoil like?” he asked.

  “Something in the long barrel 44 magnum range. Nothing crazy for you, railguns have far less recoil and even firing an unholy massive projectile like this, it’s a 9 pound gun with no explosive thrust. Basically like one hand firing an AK Draco with no compensator. You'll feel it, it’s not LIGHT recoil, but it's reasonably tame. So the mags are one time use, 4 shots, due to the power cells, uh, this costs 2 grand every time you silently pull the trigger.” She said as Sean choked a little on his Mellow Yellow.

  “Holy cow. That’s a little rich for my blood.”

  “Well, fortunately I’m very rich and don’t have blood. So screw it, let’s burn like 40 grand in osmium and fusion fireworks, and try not you brand yourself on the magazine.”

  Scott nervously fired, the lightest puff of air like someone firing a blowgun dart, gently broke the silence, but not by much. The impact of the target rang out louder than the gun, and he seemed shocked by the manageable, tame recoil.

  “That’s so weird. The recoil is a little underwhelming, the quietness is really nice, but I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that I just fired the mass of 7 50 BMG bullets, and it wasn’t that bad. Oh that’s getting warm. This is alarming.” He said carefully handing it back to Gizzy, who casually fired 3 more shots and shrugged.

  “Nah, that’s normal.” She said, dropping the magazine in the grass, as smoke rolled from the smoldering grass.

  Scott stood baffled, holding the empty and warm gun, empty grip and eyes squinting at the ballistic dummy. Clean hole straight through to the gray dust cloud frozen at the bone.

  “So we’re just basically shredding meat into alien hamburger with artillery, and the metal parts don’t seem to give a crap, hu?”

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

  “Nope. Our bones and armor are made of very classified stuff, even some of our guns don’t do shit. Let's move on to something more practical, my personal carry and what I carry into combat, the 450 Edgelord. But first, the ammo.

  “Now I also have a gun called the Holy Roller that fires the full length 450 Blackjack, which is technically a rifle round, however shooting it sucks ass because the grip is just too big even for me. You think a Desert Eagle has a big grip, that’s nothing. The rounds are over 2.6 inches long and it’s just not fun to hold. I gotta 2 hand it, which defeats the point of dual-wielding cannons. So I designed a slightly shorter projectile version: the 450 BlackJack P. More practical. All the power, shorter package, lighter bullet. We have 2 rounds for it, The JackICE high power and the subsonic Blackout. Now they look different from the standards, because technically the JackICE round is a shortened Jackal / ICE hybrid, and the Blackouts are silver because I had this whole situation trying to load black on black bullets into a black gun in the dark, during a silent mission where, dropping ammo makes problematic levels of noise. Shit happens. We also have some other rounds here, you have probably noticed. Now I see you brought your Desert Eagle. Gold-plated, very nice."

  “I like it.” he grinned.

  “Trust me I get it.

  This rose gold on black 450 Edgelord is basically MY Desert Eagle, except better. Now I’m gonna start you on subsonics because unlike the other two guns that fire full 50BMG power while subsonic, this…just does one or the other. Unlike the 8 and 9 pound behemoths, this is the same size and weight of a Deagle, with substantially more whoopass. The subs are tamed down to a disappointing light 3,500ftlbs of energy, but the gun is so much more comfortable and even with the suppressor shroud it’s just easier to carry and only 4 pounds. Hell, the little silver one is the same size as a 1911. I conceal carry that shit. She is comfy as hell and only has about the recoil of a 308 with subs. Now with the JackICE rounds, we’re back to 10k ft lbs and a 600 grain bullet, so damn near 50BMG in a compact carry. You'll notice no bulky integral suppressor to absorb the blowback, so... Those…uh, they be kickin. We have a fully vented recoil reduction system, but it’s still gonna feel like a snubnose 45-70 revolver. Nobody will fire this thing, it’s dangerous as hell, you’re gonna love it. This is the worst recoil of any of these. The One incher’s slow venting baffles makes it more of a sustained thrust, the 450 JackICE rounds out of the Edgelord is more like someone just whacked the end of the gun with a baseball bat.”

  “I’m excited about everything you just said.” He grinned.

  The camera cut to Sean two-hand yanking the gun almost vertical and sending sparks off the dummy. He gathered his wits and turned.

  “WHOOO0000, that is feeling the thunder. Man, I like this gun.” He smiled, removing his headset.

  “Well, that one doesn't go home with you, so hopefully you like this one even more. THIS is the One-Incher.”

  “Man I wish I had prepared a joke for that.”

  “Well we do editing and diagrams, so we can think of a joke later when we spread things to insert the One-Incher.”

  Sean blinked slowly at the enormous black monster, ribbed and textured for her pleasure. He stared at the round in the magazine, almost chucking at the chodiest bullet he ever saw.

  “Holeeey crap. That’s the size of my 4 bore.”

  “It kinda is a 4 bore, but you released a video of a suppressed 4 bore rifle like 3 days before I got to release a 4 bore suppressed pistol, so I just knew that would look like I copied it. I’m both amazed and slightly pissed about the timing, to be honest. What are the damn odds? So officially it’s not a 4 bore, it’s a 1-incher. And it’s not as powerful as your 4-bore, but it’s more powerful than your suppressed 4 bore subsonic loads because this is a 4634 grain Osmium solid. I designed this before thinking of the railgun, so this is just literally me thinking what is the biggest round and shape I can physically cram a grip that doesn’t feel unusable to grab one-handed. Then I made a Gwen-50 frame fatter and wrapped a giant suppressor around the whole damn thing. It’s quiet but not as quiet as the Plague, so essentially this became obsolete the moment I thought “why not 4 balls and magnet instead of one big slug?” so, you get to keep this.”

  “Really?” he grinned. “Oh, that is the best thing I’ve heard yet. Signing the waver was worth it.”

  “I want everyone watching this to acknowledge and notice that your influencers have confirmed that compliance and rewards is worth the risk of letting us have control. You heard it from the primate's mouth. Sadly, you can’t keep the latest in railgun tech and a nuclear power cells, and I still use the 450. I like it, it’s mine, so nobody gets it but me. This is just obsolete enough and comically dumb overkill enough to fit-in with a lot of your collection. So you now have the world’s first 4 bo-eh, I mean One Incher…the… fuckin, world most powerful handgun… Suppressed, and made by aliens.” she fumbled, winging it.

  “That’s pretty exciting.” Sean grinned. “What’s with the 1911?”

  “Oh, I just brought that for comparison to make everything else look bigger. It’s a borrowed Colt 54. Not a typo. 54 caliber. I figured I’d let you shoot that too. Friend of mine loaned it out.” she shrugged.

  “What’s that do?” he asked.

  “That’s classified under the Osirian Spoiler act, and just don’t worry about it. It’s a colt 54, it does colt 45 stuff but 9 more bigger, and as far as we’re discussing, that’s all it would presumably do, and these are just big FMJs. Hey camera guy, look here. This is NOT anything special, and there is no significance to this gun. If anyone from the Medusa missions says otherwise, they are confused. It’s just a colt, 54."

  Sean yanked back the One-incher, as a strangely tolerable shot rang out and impacted the skull armor with a loud clank.

  “Yea, that’s louder than the Plague, but really not bad. That’s easily hearing safe without ear pro. Weird recoil. It’s hefty but kinda soft.”

  “The flow-through baffles tame it a lot, but at the end of the day the kinetic energy of that much mass and sheer whoopass pushing back on the coils still moves you. You just can’t cheat Newtonian physics. You can capture the gas, buffer the air chambers, vent the thrusts out the side baffles and equal out most of the thrusting force, but equal and opposite force just doesn’t go away, it only slows down and softens. But even a softened one-incher can thrust some ass, so always firmly grip before you let a rip.”

  “Are you always like this, or is this played up for the show?” Sean asked discreetly.

  “That’s just how I am.”

  “Demo Mike probably didn’t even see the guns did he?”

  “No, he was very distracted by me."

  “Well, I am absolutely thrilled to have this just…stupid huge handgun to take home. I can't believe I have 3 different 4-bores now.”

  ‘Ah, ah…2 normal 4 bores, and a suppressed one-incher. This is totally different and way cooler, and not a last minute technicality to sidestep the infuriatingly bad timing on my release date after your coincidentally ironic timing.”

  “I just…feel like I have to give you something in trade. I can’t just take this crazy new toy and not give you something. That’s not Kentucky manners. Any gun, what do you want?”

  “Braden’s first working 50 caliber AK.”

  “Any gun I own, with like 3 exceptions, what do you want?” he adjusted.

  “Honestly, I can take screenshots and use 3d modeling to matter-print anything on the show in about an hour. I’m good. You keep em.”

  “I gotta give you something.” He shrugged.

  The scene cut abruptly to the backdrop and just Sean.

  “Well that’s it for this episode, hope you enjoyed, My name is Sean and this is Kentucky Windage. Like and subscribe if you want more of me shooting the new pistol.”

  “And stay tuned to my channel as well to see more humans get whisked away to ARIZONA for even more insane alien guns.” She said, lifting her new Mag-7 shotgun. “Where I might regift this as a disappointing freebie prank to the colonial mustache guy from Lost Weapons of History, because it’s his favorite shotgun in the world and I bet he would just LOVE to own one. Will he get an alien gun like everyone else, or get truly punked and end up with this unholy stamped shitbrick of destiny? Who knows, not him, not you. Only time and clicking that subscribe button will find out.