It all started peaceful.
The sun shined through the royal mansion windows, birds chirped, money dreams filled my head.
I was peacefully wiping a window, humming the "I’m rich soon" theme song I made up, when...
BOOM!
The door slammed open like a Mortal Kombat character entering the arena.
It was her.
Seraphina.
The royal menace herself.
"YOU!!" she barked, pointing dramatically like I was some anime villain.
"CLEAN THE HALL! MOP THE FLOORS! WATER THE GARDEN! POLISH THE STATUES! AND—MAKE TEA!!"
Me: Processing... Processing... Processing failed.
"...All at once?" I asked.
"YES! You have ONE hour!!" she snapped.
ONE HOUR??
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Bro, I don’t even know how to mop properly. I just spray water and pray.
But okay. I tied my apron like a warrior ties his headband.
This was my ninja arc.
My moment.
---
Cue 3 minutes later:
I spilled tea all over the king’s ancient carpet (it’s officially brown now)
Dropped a statue’s arm (whoops)
Knocked a flower vase into the fireplace (flowers became ashes)
Accidentally flooded the garden (it’s a swimming pool now)
Guards: staring like they’re watching a live-action comedy.
Boris (the dog): recording mentally for blackmail.
Seraphina: developing new shades of rage scientists haven’t named yet.
I panicked.
I moved faster.
Mistake.
I slipped on the wet floor, spun like a Beyblade, and crashed into the sofa.
The sofa slid across the room like it was Tokyo Drift.
I took down two tables and a lamp in one move.
TOTAL. DESTRUCTION.
---
Then silence.
The kind of silence that makes you rethink your life choices.
Seraphina stomped over.
Each step heavier than my unpaid electricity bills.
She glared up at me — short, fuming, ready to kill.
If looks could kill, I was already six feet under.
She crossed her arms and hissed,
"Is this a boy thing... or are you just this useless?"
AND
I didn’t even think.
I just... SAID:
> "You talk alotta shit for a washing machine."
