Leaf

  —

  Before we began, Erin demanded that we get some form of agreement hammered out with my devious fae, and I couldn't agree fast enough. We sat in a circle drawn in the dirt this time, just us three, but my little fairies eyes were hard as they stared at Erin.

  "I will now read the contract outline between Leaf and her first, and so far only, female Clefairy. This is a casual, barebones contract outline to show what the contract will look like and encompass. I will read the overview aloud in sections, and will address any questions and concerns as they come. Clefairy, Raihan will be watching with a copy of the contract."

  "As you hear something you disagree with, raise your hand. He will note what part you objected to, and we will address them after we finish, if I dont address them immediately. This will continue for the entirety of the contract, we will resolve those issues, possibly and probably making an entirely new contract. Then you will have to choose."

  "You can verbally acknowledge this contract, or any new deal that we come up with, which I strive to make fair and will endeavor to change as much as I can allow. I promise on my honor I will not attempt to deceive you in this contract, only blunt your edges for my friend Leaf."

  Erin spared me a glance as I beamed at her, grateful for her choice of words. She returned the smile briefly before turning back to the Fairy, a steely look on her face.

  "Or, you can leave. I would actually be sorry to see you go. I want to do that little trick at least once, and I know you do, too."

  For a moment, Erin and the fairy shared the same, devious grin as they looked at each other in anticipation. Not a kid, huh, Erin?

  "Now, do you agree to hold no grudges, to approach the following discussion with an open mind, to speak only truth, to be completely peaceful, to take nothing, even in ignorance or by accident, to give no insult, and to accept no contracts until I finish? We can make the actual acceptance and contract forming happen after, I want us to have an open and honest discussion, fae. Do you agree with these conditions? I do not seek to bind you. Merely to talk."

  My little fairy stared at her for a long moment before she smiled, her whole body lifting as her mouth grew wide. Her ears were bouncing in such a cute way as she rose to the tips of her toes and did a little dance as she nodded, looking like she was dancing to music as she agreed.

  And her eyes?

  Her eyes glinted. It was the most terrifying thing I had ever seen in my life, and that included the past few days, and awakening to a murder attempt from my best friend.

  She was happy, and I suddenly really didn't want that.

  Erin was mad, though, as she stared at the fae.

  "I warn you, fae, you should already know that I do not lie, nor do I go back on my word, but only when I am shown the proper respect! Attempt to charm me, to deceive me, attempt to subtly alter the contract as I have it written and will verbally and physically alter during our discussion? If you dare? I will eat you alive myself, piece by piece while you watch. I can be your greatest ally, and should you never give me a reason to hate you, you will be treated well by my entire team. I do not hate you for what you are. That would be wrong. I do not hate the fae, and never will." My little horror stood stunned at that.

  "However, I reserve the right to treat you like a threat until I know you aren't, and I'm certain that you're not a nice, innocent fae just interested in the world of humans. You didn't find an innocent, pure soul to deceive, to follow, to hinder or to help. You found me. You wanted to see what I DO, and I know it, you tiny, cute, adorable horror!" Said horror blushed and hid her face in her tiny hands. She was smiling, though. An intrigued smile, like she didn't know why Erin was bringing up the obvious.

  "You think it may be funny to see what becomes of me, to laugh at my fate, and I don't hate you for that, because that is your nature." My Pokemon refused to look at her any more.

  "But we will have rules." Erin's eyes were so hard. No stupid light shows this time, just hard.

  "Section one: Oaths. You will agree to never work against or harm your trainer, her traveling companions, or any of their Pokemon in any way, shape, or form, unless it is in the form of harmless pranks. You agree to take your beatings for those pranks if you can't escape. You're resourceful, don't get caught." She grinned at the scowling fairy.

  "You agree to treat Leaf with the same kindness she shows you. You agree to never purposely injure your trainer, or through inaction allow them to come to harm. I know I kind of repeated it. It bears repeating. You are not to harm random humans, unless they seek to hurt or kill you, your trainer or us. If you are entirely dissatisfied, you pledge to break your own Pokeball and leave before you get dangerous, never to interact with us again, returning to your clan. You agree to act like the perfect Pokemon, because if you do we will completely unlock your Pokeballs restrictions."

  She looked at the serious fairy watching her with what I thought might be hope in her eyes and smiled.

  "You could break the connection with a minute's concentration from anywhere. You could cause your little mischiefs as we travel, should you swear on your life that they will be harmless in intent and execution. Accidents happen, but I better not find you deliberately harming another person unless I unleash you on them." My Pokemon hadn't twitched in a while. She hadn't breathed.

  "I know any oath is the same to a fae, and I don't care! I truly do not want to try and bind you. I just don't want to invite more hardship on myself than I already will just by existing." The fairy relaxed a bit and nodded, still wary.

  "Section Two: Powers. You agree to restrain your use of reality-warping powers to when we train, battle, or are otherwise called to use it. To define reality-warping powers, I mean your undirected fae magic altering the very fabric of reality we experience. I do not care about the Move you used last night, understand? It was brilliant, actually, and we're going to be working that into our practice when you start, both for individual battles and melees. From what I hear, it was fucking hilarious, actually. Just, you know, aside from the 'pissing everyone off' part." The fairy looked overjoyed and Erin gave her an honest, open smile.

  "I wasn't joking. You are a powerful asset, and I do not judge you for your very nature. I judge by actions. Even with a contract, I am exposing myself. I am exposing Leaf. I'm exposing us to you, but I don't want a chained… Growlithe that wishes us dead, so it is necessary."

  "I am extending this honor because I am willing to trust you on this. You know that I know what I am doing when I say that I trust you, so tread wisely."

  She had told me to never do that!

  "The fae are capricious, but they have their own twisted honor as well. For instance, I will never feel fear for my little Hecate. I am willing to trust you, so are you willing to be faithful? We could do great things, and you know it. All of us could do such amazing things together, but there has to be trust between us."

  I don't think she was talking about contracts anymore. Was she ever? Or had it all been a way to get to this part naturally?

  "All you have to do is stop playing games, take your mask off, and just be yourself! You will probably be a little shit, but so long as you are our little shit you would be permitted to run wild, should you not be a menace, and occasionally I would allow you off your leash." Her smile was wicked as she stared at my awe-struck fae.

  "You know that between my ideas that you're itching to know, that you will never share, and your natural vicious playfulness we could create such glorious chaos. I won't allow it just any time, but I swear on my life, if we run into a situation where I could unleash you safely and you want to I will do it, and give you as much assistance as I possibly can. Why wouldn't I? I don't hate the fae, and you are such delightful tricksters… among other things." She laughed, and it was not a nice sound.

  "I mean, that sounds so fun, you going berserk with no restraints on a Team Rocket base while my team runs interference!"

  Tell me you're a 'responsible adult' with that expression, Erin, Miss 'I don't lie!'

  My fae horror looked beside herself as she plopped on the ground, staring between her knees as she thought. Her eyes were clouded as she did, and it alarmed me. Erin had thrown her for such a loop she couldn't comprehend reality easily.

  Erin seemed to do that to Pokemon a lot, I had found.

  "Since I'm not trying to bind you, last section: Evolution." Clefairy looked up at her with a new light in her eyes and Erin laughed.

  "We will not be using Evolution as a carrot to the stick, for instance. That would be binding your future." She smiled at my Clefairies shock.

  "Don't worry. Evolution is guaranteed for you once we can afford a Moon Stone, or find one in Mount Moon. If we go to Pewter City first, you'll fight the Gym as a Clefairy. I'm reluctant to let you evolve if we find one in Mount Moon-" My fae wailed and Erin smiled.

  "Let me finish! I know you had a clan, or coven or something. I know you're not a weak Clefairy, I know you're physically ready for it. You wouldn't do any damage to yourself." Clefaity rapidly nodded.

  "If you find or receive one there, go ahead. However! If it's a gift, we need to thank your tribe. We'll be going there, anyway. We also have to thank them for letting you come along, right?" The pink fairy looked shocked and Erin leaned in with an actual warm smile on her face.

  "I know how to repay kindness, fae, and you, and therefore your tribe, would be doing me a favor if you did your best to become Leaf's friend. I will never command your affections, but the effort would be appreciated. The true and honest attempt."

  Erin turned to look at me with a soft smile while Raihan looked very alarmed! She had just told a fae that the fae was doing her a favor?!

  For me!?

  "She deserves the opportunity for a steadfast friend without having to deal with the brat."

  My cute, adorable, super-huggable, unbelievably horrific little Pokemon sat there, staring at the ground as she drew little circles in the dirt. She looked up at me, and I saw something looking back at me from inside the shine.

  It didn't look aggressive, it looked thoughtful, but it still chilled my blood.

  Because it was so wrong.

  What was she, really? I mean, really? Erin seemed to know exactly what she was. She didn't seem to care, she just treated her so… differently. Like she was an entirely different kind of being compared to everyone else.

  She eventually looked up to Erin with an inquisitive, confused angle to her head, and Erin nodded at her.

  "I know. You don't know how to frame friendship, can't know how to frame something like that. You can understand it, but not define it. It burns a hole in your mind, because you see something that you understand but you can't… know it, even if it fascinates you. Right?" A nod from my little horror so slight I almost missed it.

  "I think I can almost understand that. Let me spin you a tale, fae. Tell me if it resonates with you." My Clefairy drew in on herself as Erin began to talk.

  "You were in a… peaceful place. That, or a place of utter chaos. There is no other choice. Well, that or both at once, I guess." My Clefairy was motionless as she listened to Erin, eyes shining.

  "Then you found a… an entrance? A way into a new place that was so much fun compared to where you used to live. So diverse." Her smile was soft as she looked at my newest Pokemon.

  "Am I close enough, so far?" My Clefairy nodded, excruciatingly slowly.

  "You came into this world, and you found others of your new kind. All excited to be in this world, this different place, but that was it. You wanted to know more than your enclave, more than your cave and mountain. You wanted to know the world." Erin's eyes were shining, but it was that same calm light I had seen before. She was… serene as she spoke.

  "You want to see what the world is, not a cave in a single mountain. You want to enjoy, to experience, to know! You want the rush of seeing a new landscape, the feeling of stepping onto a new continent! You want the feeling of going places, and you want that feeling to never end. You want to explore, to explore people, too, but you're not sure how to be around others not of your kind, even though you want to. That is the conclusion I have come to after observing you." She knelt down in front of a completely stunned Clefairy. Her eyes were soft and calm as she spoke.

  "Is it true? You don't have to answer, of course, but you know you should. Something right now is telling you to do it, and you've never felt it before, but it is right. This is the sort of different situation you will encounter with us… mortals. You may bind yourself, in truth, but is that really an issue for one such as yourself? To bind and be bound in friendship for a time?" Her warm smile grew to encompass her whole face as my poor little fairy began to quake.

  My Pokemon froze for a second, eyes darting around to look at all of us. She seemed about to dart away, but Erin shook her head and she settled down. After a long moment she looked up at me.

  I was prepared for the shine, but I wasn't prepared for the sudden entrance into a space that I could only call horrifying yet dull. I mean, it was just an endless reddish-purple fog rolling… around? I mean, it was just a flat plane of formless smoke, so why am I here? There's smoke, me, smoke, a twenty foot tall smoke monster with glinting eyes, smoke, me, smo-

  It spoke to me.

  "des–Ir. –ElinGs. Su–ly. P–viDe. T-m-."

  My everything hurt as I felt those sparse words seared into my brain, unable to be fully parsed into my language. I think my hair hurt!

  I knew what they meant though, because those hadn't been words. Those had been thoughts! Meanings!

  "Desire knowledge of feelings. Supply proper environment to cultivate. Provide exemplary 'companion Pokemon'. In time, reconvene to address continuance of contract."

  Then I was back.

  My nose was bleeding as the alien thoughts seemed to squirm through my head. I sat there, uncaring and unfeeling, before they receded like an oiled wave. I felt… wrong, after.

  Like her.

  "Leaf… look at me." Erin's voice was soft, and as I looked up, so were those spooky purple eyes of hers.

  "Leaf, you are fine. Clasp your hands, wiggle your toes. You're here, not wherever it took you."

  I nodded, following her instructions. I actually felt better after a moment and her smile grew wide and genuine.

  "Leaf, you just communed with the fae for the first time. No matter what happened, even if you just said hi, that's worthy of a celebration." Her eyes were shining with pride.

  Mine shone with confusion.

  "Why, Erin?" Her smile trembled. She knew what I meant. Clefairy sat there with hunched shoulders, breathing heavily. She looked so utterly exhausted, though. Why?

  "She was trying to be nice to you, Leaf. Merely saying hello to us is hard, because of the distance between us. It's hard on us, too, because they are so… different it hurts to touch. To touch words, ideas, concepts. You should be proud, though, Leaf." She gave me a light hug before pushing me back, still holding me by the shoulders and beaming at me.

  "You still did that! I don't know exactly what she said, though, so here!" She abruptly pulled my PokeNav from my belt.

  "Hey!" I tried to snatch it from her, obviously, but she leaned back and shuffled away for a second before shoving it back in my face. Notes?

  "Write down exactly what she said. Don't say it. Just write it down until I say stop." Her face was so serious.

  I stared at her in disbelief.

  "Erin, are you insane! I'll write it down like, twice!" She glared at me, her damn spooky eyes blazing at me.

  Shit.

  "Now, Leaf!"

  I finished soon enough. I wrote it down ten times before Erin was satisfied I had gotten the 'true core' of the message, but it was finally done. She cackled as she ran back to her pack, and I shared a look with Raihan and my newest Pokemon as the rest of the camp followed her with their eyes.

  Raihan looked uneasy and pale, but my Pokemon looked like she was actually getting worse, like some internal store of energy was almost used up and she was just chugging along on fumes. She looked fine two minutes ago!

  What was that? Was that her? That was what she really was? That wasn't even her, though, just some sort of random form my mind made up because it couldn't know. It made my brain hurt to think about, but I knew I was right, somehow. She was just so… different. Erin had to know, right?

  She had been utterly terrifying in a very different way than a giant dragon, but she hadn't been aggressive, I don't think. She actually seemed inquisitive, but wary. Like she was going to extend some trust, but she was ready to lose a part of herself when it went wrong.

  It was… almost endearing, if not for the horrific monstrosity part? Like a stray Rattata uncertain about taking food from a strange human. She was obviously uncomfortable around people, and I could feel that she liked to play pranks because she knew the exact reactions she would get. It was predictable. Maybe… Maybe I could make other, nicer things predictable, and show her a positive reaction instead of the usual negative?

  I don't think she knew the difference, actually!

  She still wanted to come along. I knew that Erin had been right, that my little horror just wanted to watch what happened to Erin in the future, but it seemed she might actually be willing to be my friend. Not that she understood the concept, of course! She wanted to, however, and that would have to work for me.

  It was better than bitter hatred.

  Erin rushed back with what looked like a note card. What kind of teenager used a note card? Where do they even sell these things? She handed it to me with a happy smile and began to read from a sheet of paper. They were the same, obviously.

  "Clefairy agrees to be the best Pokemon she can for Leaf in all ways, so long as Leaf treats her well. Clefairy will clearly communicate any issues or wants she may have. Refusal to accept Clefairies requests will not necessarily denote a lack of respect or care. Clefairy agrees to treat the entirety of Leaf's friend group and their Pokemon, her Pokemon, and strangers kindly. Self defense is obviously allowed, as are harmless pranks. If you are unsure if a prank is too much, come ask me." She looked up from the card at the grinning fairy. She liked everything she had heard so far, or at least not hated it, but this had her attention.

  "You know I won't tell them." Her grin was wicked, the horrible girl. She continued.

  "In return, Leaf shall try to cultivate a 'proper environment' to understand feelings. You agree that, as of this time, Leaf has no specific knowledge of what that entails, but she will do her best." The fairy nodded at that.

  "Leaf shall also provide for you to the best of her ability. Leaf will do her best to make friends with you, and while I understand your difficulties, you will do the best you can to understand and reciprocate the feelings. She will be patient and kind, as you probably already know." Another nod as she turned to stare at me briefly. It looked like something waved to me from the shine and I barely managed not to shudder.

  "You agree to travel with Leaf at least as long as this Circuit, and the two of you can decide if you want to continue after that. This also includes the express permission to break your own Pokeball and leave at any moment should Leaf treat you badly, somehow." She sounded disbelieving, and she was right to. I would never treat my Pokemon badly! On purpose!

  "Pokeballs have many settings, including stasis, awareness, very slow healing, the ability to release yourself, and more. Your Pokeball will look like the ones on my team, fae. You won't have restrictions, but that comes with trust. You can lose this privilege at my discretion, and I pledge to be fair when I do so." Clefairy was scowling at her with her arms crossed but she hadn't shook her head.

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  "Lastly, any knowledge, other than that of feelings, that you acquire while with us will never be revealed to anyone without our express permission. You will never utter it, write it, you will not commune it, nor will you attempt to leave behind or pass the knowledge along in any way, shape, or form." My little fae couldn't scowl any harder, but she looked like she was trying.

  Erin looked at her intently.

  "Any problems with that? I'm leaving you so much leeway, fae. I know your kind can be trusted, sometimes. Prove that you can be. Prove that your desire to know feelings isn't wrong. I know it's not. Prove that you can be more than you are now. Just… form a bond of friendship mutually given. Take nothing, but give freely. That's all friendship is, fae."

  My Pokemon sat down, looking at the ground as she seemed to just… leave. Like there was nothing in her anymore. Not dead, her chest moved, but it was just… the creepiest thing I had seen from her so far that didn't involve her eyes. After a minute she jerked back upright, looking around in confusion before her eyes met mine.

  There was no smoke this time, thankfully.

  "y-S. Gro-.

  "Agreed. Flourish, new specific-positive-emotion-assigned-being."

  It felt like it… gave something to me. It felt… it wasn't a bad feeling, it didn't hurt, but it was so wrong.

  That didn't hurt nearly as bad as the last time, but I still wavered as I held a hand to my suddenly pounding head. Erin looked concerned, but I waved her off with a wince.

  "She just told me she accepts the contract. It wasn't as bad, but still…" I leaned back with a pained wince, noticing the entire camp staring at me and my fae. More at her, but most of Erin's Pokemon looked concerned for me. Maybe they had forgiven me after that… punishment?

  Erin gave a wide smile before she bent down to pat my little horror on her head. She gave Erin a confused look, to which Erin smiled.

  "You took a large step, fae. I would even say I'm proud of you, for doing that. We will all do our best not to infringe on anything, and know that if we do it will not be with our willing and knowing participation. I was telling the truth. Fae can be horrific monstrosities." She smiled as she shook my suddenly sad looking fae by the shoulders, who looked up at her with wide eyes.

  "You're also people. Maybe we are horrific to you, too? You are so different, but people are people. I'm delighted to get to know one of yours." My fae's eyes were wet as she nodded. She then perked up and bounded away from her, then out of camp entirely, heading for the canyon. I stood to go get her but Erin gestured for me to stay.

  "She's got a lot of feelings right now, Leaf, and she's really not used to them. Let her have her time. She's no danger to us anymore. A prankster, unfortunately, but not dangerous." She sighed before looking at me.

  "Finally ready for that talk, Leaf?"

  —

  We were all sitting on the futons, reclining as Erin fidgeted there. She looked determined, but unsure.

  "I'll start with… I don't know. I tried to think about how to do this, but it seems like every option is wrong… I mean, start with me? Where I'm from? Coming here? Looker? There's too many options. So instead, I'll just tell you about my favorite video game series of all time, Leaf."

  Oh no. No. Already? Can't we talk about this Looker person, first?

  Her face was gentle, tone soft as she spoke, reclining on Cerberus as the Pokemon idly stretched out, just relaxing. Raihan looked on with a knowing, worried gaze, as did Leto. The rest of the Pokemon huddled in, like it was story time.

  I guess it was, really.

  She took her time to get started, and when she did her eyes were soft, wistful.

  "It's one of my first memories that I can really remember, Leaf. I was six, seven maybe? We lived in an apartment with an unused room, completely empty. We didn't pay for it, technically, but it was unlocked, and I would go in there for some peace and quiet. I'd go in there with my GameBoy Color, a handheld gaming system that my grandma had been nice enough to buy me."

  "It was huge and clunky for what it was, really, but this was before phones that looked like even basic PokeNavs, so it was amazing! It was so cool, too, see-through purple plastic instead of those nasty flat colors, and you could see all the wires and stuff!" Erin's face was practically glowing in remembered delight as she spoke. She also looked so sad.

  "There was a slot on the back to put video game cartridges in. It ran off of expensive, disposable batteries, but also a wall outlet, which I used more. I had batteries, but I didn't waste them on the hundreds of hours I put into that game until I burned it out one day. I was a kid, and it was probably a power surge, but I like to think I managed to out-play the game. Before I had to get another, of course. It was the coolest GameBoy model, in my correct opinion." She seemed smug as she smiled. Smug and sad and wistful.

  "I'd sit there in that empty room, Leaf, plugged into a wall outlet, just sitting with my back up against a wall, and I'd play a series of games about Pocket Monsters for hours, days, weeks on end. My well-meaning but technologically clueless grandma had bought me the newest device, capable of color, but a black and white game cartridge." She was so nostalgic. And sad. Sadder.

  "I never noticed the monotone tint to the game, and it took me months to notice that it wasn't in color, that it was capable of being in full color, and not just one. It didn't need color to enthrall you." She took a deep breath and sighed. Oh no. I don't like that sigh, Erin.

  "In the very first game to come to my country, you started in Pallet Town, in your room in your house. Your mother downstairs would tell you that Professor Oak was looking for you, but he wasn't at his lab when you went. If you tried to exit the town on the route to the north, Professor Oak would pop out of nowhere and warn you that wild Pokemon were dangerous, have a great idea, then drag you back to his Lab." My eyes were wide as she spoke. No way. No way! Nope!

  Why was my face tingling?

  "You would choose your rival's name, then your starter. Bulbasaur, Squirtle, or Charmander. I was always a Charmander fan, even if it was a pain in the ass to take down Brock if you didn't get a Mankey. I mean, there were other ways like Butterfree, but Mankey's are awesome." She coughed into her fist.

  "Anyway. You would be sent out to travel around Kanto to collect all eight badges while filling out the very first PokeDex for the Professor. Along the way, you run into Team Rocket a lot. They weren't that big a deal, just roadblocks, but the Sil-…uhh… one long part in the middle suuuucked. Not that it was super hard, it was just way too long for a six year old's attention span. It felt like it took days." She shook her head.

  "I'm rambling, sorry. Leaf, in that game you do all that, you could catch the three Legendary Birds if you wanted, complete the Pokedex, fight the Elite Four, then the Champion. I've been Champion more times than I can count." She giggled as my eyes boggled at her. She's been a Champion? Multiple times?

  "Lance was always my favorite Champion's ass to kick, but Cynthia's actually fun to beat, since she's not a pushover like most trainers in the games. Satisfying, too, after that absolute bitch ambushed me…" My eyes couldn't get wider, but I could feel increasingly panicked. Champion Cynthia what?!

  "Leaf, that one game spawned a whole series of games. A large series, not to mention the manga, cartoons, books, the movies, dear go-Arceus the fanfics, the merchandise like plushies…" She looked at me with a serious face.

  "I once kicked a kid's ass in a friendly match for a Pikachu backpack. It's one of the few times I've initiated a fight in my life." I managed to giggle a little at that. It sounded exactly like something that Erin would do.

  "The original twinned games were called Pokemon Red and Blue, Leaf." Even though I had already heard this, I went pale. Cold.

  Red. Like Red.

  My best friend, Red.

  "Later on, after they had released a lot more regions-" I don't think I can get any colder, what's next when she speaks? "-they re-released the first region. This time, however, they went with the original, unreleased- where I was from, at least- Green version instead of Blue, and since they upgraded the games, they upgraded the names, too." Green.

  Stop pausing Erin!

  Maybe just stop! Don't do it!

  Stop talking!

  She didn't, with a kind, gentle smile.

  "Pokemon FireRed and LeafGreen."

  Oh, apparently once you go cold, you go numb next. I think my body had pulled all the blood it safely, or maybe unsafely, could from my extremities, and my hands and feet began to tingle, along with my face. Raihan was looking at me with concern. Very understandable.

  I was concerned, too.

  LeafGreen. Leaf Greenwood.

  "When you started these games, you eventually got to choose a character that wasn't the default male, finally. So when I started up my copy of LeafGreen, I was delighted. The female protagonist, who had never existed in the first game, was my favorite so far." Her voice was so gentle. Kind.

  "She wasn't over the top, she didn't have ridiculous, gravity defying hair that formed loops and crap, she was just a strong, confident girl out to make her way. She didn't look like she was hyped up on some PokeDrug that made her the happiest she could be, either. Instead, she had a strong, determined smile. Like she meant business, and she looked forward to proving it to the world. She was my favorite protagonist to play as ever, actually." Her eyes were so soft as they looked at me, and her voice trembled as she spoke next.

  "When you named yourself, there were always a few random options from a list… There was always one default option, though." No. No.

  No!

  "I always chose it over my own name, because it was such a pretty name for such a strong young girl." She was looking at me like she thought she was about to break me.

  Fuck. No. Fuck…

  "Isn't it, Leaf?" She looked so sad as she said that.

  Leaf.

  I was a video game character.

  I don't know how you're supposed to react to that, but going silent for ten minutes, ignoring everyone's concerned attempts to get my attention, while frantically thinking back through my life to see if I was real is how I chose to do it.

  Good news? I think I'm real.

  Bad news? I might not be.

  I mean, I'm real. I'm here! I pinched myself, it hurts, right? Is pain just an electrical signal? Wait, it is, technically! Is the whole world a video game cartridge running on electricity? Are we all one big electron? Are we-

  "Leaf!"

  The sound that Erin made was intense, and I snapped to attention, staring at her in shock. She smiled at me softly.

  "Back with us, Leaf? Calm down. You're probably jumping to a lot of conclusions. Unfortunately, I don't have answers. I'm sorry for that, but I've got some theories. Are you okay to talk?" She began to look worried as I continued to stare blankly at her. I managed to talk, but I was barely able to croak out the answer.

  "A-am I real?" Okay, so not the answer.

  Her eyes got so wide as her face dropped into the largest example of empathetic sympathy I had ever seen. She pulled me into a hug that I didn't reciprocate, couldn't. I just sat there, feeling cold.

  "We are real, Leaf. Believe that, because it's true. This is real, life is real, eyelashes in your eye, beautiful sights, horrid realities. It is real." Erin sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

  "You are real, Leaf. I want you to know something. Someone I respect very much told me the same thing recently." She smiled warmly at me.

  "This isn't a game. This is real life, and we are real people, with real lives. You need to try and calm down as I speak, okay, sweetie?" She was treating me like I was fragile, and I couldn't blame her as I dully nodded.

  "Good, listen to me. Do you feel love for anyone? Fraxure? Your mom?" I stared at her, blankly horrified eyes meeting her concerned ones. I nodded.

  Duh.

  Her smile grew warmer.

  "Then you are real, Leaf. You can't fake love. The universe is just far larger and vaster than you understood before now, that's all." My breathing began to come easier, but I was still so cold.

  Hecate hopped into my lap, nuzzling into my stomach while letting out soft murmurs, and despite my shock I managed to slowly, gently pet the sweet Pokemon. Erin smiled at the sight but didn't say anything.

  "Leaf, my personal theory is that our worlds, our universes, are connected. It might just be through thought, but that thought was enough to spawn so much. Things are different here, though, like the Preserve. I'm pretty sure it was just a crappy little town in the Shield DLC-" Wait, what!

  I won't wait for you to never go back, not this time you!

  "Stop!" She paused and I stared at her in shock.

  "Your world, or universe?" Her face got red and she cursed, trying to look away. It was hard, considering she had been trying to comfort me with a hug.

  "Oh, yeah, shit, fuck… uhh… Leaf, I'm from… Fuck! Yes. Yes, I'm from a different world." She sighed, almost falling backwards as she did.

  What?!

  "I'm from a different world with no Pokemon, just animals, which are like non-special Pokemon? They weren't as smart as Pokemon, and couldn't use type energy or Moves, not that either existed there. I've only seen insects here, you guys don't even have rats, which is nice. Rattata don't count, they're adorable. Hopefully cockroaches don't exist here, because I haven't seen one yet and I'd like to keep it that way. Forever. Eternally!" I was curious now, but the look on her face made me second guess myself. Also, no Pokemon? WHAT? How does that even make sense?

  "How are you here, then?" My voice was unsteady as I asked the question. I mean, a different world?! Her voice was soft as she answered.

  "I was playing the game set in Galar when it happened. I had actually just started a new game the night before, now that I think about it…" She trailed off, face dark for a second before her head popped back up, looking like nothing had happened.

  "So there I was, trying to decide if I should build even half my team with Galar's shitty low-level Pokemon-" She grinned at Raihan and he gave her a mock glare. "-or if I should Breed my own. I was staring at the water starter that I was forced to choose. It was honestly kinda cute, but I wasn't a fan, and wouldn't have actually used it, same as the first time I played Shield. It was still better than the soccer fire rabbit or the drumset gorilla!" Raihan groaned as she said that. Wait, those are real? I mean, Pokemon, yeah, but still!

  She got quiet, releasing me as she moved to the edge of the futons, hugging her knees as she stared straight ahead. Artemis came over and nuzzled into her, bringing a brief smile before she got quiet again. When she spoke her voice was so soft, like she was afraid to break the silence.

  "I died, Leaf. I died alone, staring at my blank white ceiling as I had a heart attack. I had actually been living healthy for years at that point, but it doesn't matter if it was old damage or genetic, because they ran in my family as well." She paused, face pale.

  She had to be joking, right? She died? Like, not drowned and was resuscitated? Like, died, died?

  Dead?

  "Everything just… decreased to a pinprick, after a bit. All my feelings, emotions, my sense of self. Then I slammed my head on the ground of the Lowlands in a new, younger body." She was dead serious as she told me that, but I stared at her in horror.

  She had died? She had been older, so I guess it worked out in some ways, but let's not forget something. Erin died?

  "You d-died?" She smiled softly. Weakly

  "Leaf, everything dies, and I think I had one of the more… peaceful deaths you possibly can. I could have done without the… fear, but the fear… fades, eventually. Everything does." She looked uncomfortable now and I snapped my mouth shut.

  I took some time to think on my next question, and I wouldn't touch that subject ever again. Shit. Nice job, Leaf. She died and you ask about it.

  "Is that why you know about Giovanni, and I guess the other evil teams? Because you played the games and watched the, uhh, cartoons?" She nodded at me.

  "Am I, like, destined to fight them, or something? I am, right? Right!? I'm Leaf!" Oh, and I had been doing so good, but the panic was just under the surface at all times. Now it was out.

  Erin's face fell as she lunged to hug me again.

  "Leaf, I want you to understand one thing. I don't know this, but somehow I know I'm right, so listen, okay?" I nodded tightly, breathing heavily.

  I was a video game character! A NPC!

  "You are your own person, and you got lucky compared to the people from the anime. They had their very lives controlled. They seem to be bound to their fate." I was listening now, horribly fascinated.

  "You, Leaf, don't have a predestined fate! You just become Champion and that's it! Your future is yours to choose! Team Rocket were just speed bumps along the way, not the focus. The focus was on Pokemon! On you!" She was growing excited as she spoke, holding me at arms length.

  "Leaf, you are a young girl denied her first circuit at the right age, but it's here! Don't think about some vague fate. You are your own person, Leaf. You decide who and what you become, and don't let anyone tell you differently. You're not destined to fight Team Rocket. Not to mention your starter and age is wildly different from the games! You're not the protagonist, either!" I knew who she meant.

  "Ash?" Her face fell in sympathy.

  "That poor kid has been through so much. I'm not sure how he survived when it's real, but I'm calling Arceus shenanigans if it went down anything like it did in the cartoons and the movies. I mean, the poor kid died too, I think more than once, maybe?" WHAT!

  "What! Ash died!?" She looked at me in slight confusion.

  "He got better?" I glared at her. "He wasn't dead for long, a Legendary killed him, then he got brought back to life by another Legendary in the first movie. It made a whole movie theatre of nine year olds cry, it was a brutal scene for a kids series. Pikachu was so sad… Everyone was…" She trailed off, still broken up at the horror that my old friend's death caused! Caused by a Legendary! He was saved by another! She's still broken up from when she was nine!

  Whaaat!?

  "He's the main protagonist of the animated series, and thankfully he ages here. He was perpetually ten in the cartoon, and perpetually the best trainer in the world… when he remembered to act like it. Sometimes. If he hadn't released his teams every season he would have been unstoppable, but I understand that from the production's point of view." Arceus, my head.

  "How about Red? He never fought Team Rocket, did he?" Her face made me go cold. "No, no way! He didn't! Did he?" She was nodding sadly. She looked over at Raihan and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

  "Yea, Leaf. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. From what I was able to find out from Looker, he fought Team Rocket on multiple occasions, and was the leading cause behind the ill-named Rocket Takedown that happened. His path… seemed to follow the path he would take in the games, as well." They were both looking at me in concern.

  Red? Red… fought criminals? When he was ten?

  He never told me?

  "He never told me…" Raihan shook his head.

  "Leaf, the Indigo League covered it up, he wasn't allowed to. Think about it! They couldn't point the press at a ten year old boy and say 'here is your great savior, destroyer of Team Rocket'! They gave him a lot of money, he quietly moved away for his next Circuit, and he hasn't returned since."

  I sat there silent for a moment, but I had more questions. I could think about poor Red later.

  "Looker?" Erin groaned at the question.

  "A smug prick who tricked me. Also one of the most trustworthy people I know. He's technically my legal guardian, and we both hate it so much. He's one of Interpol's top agents, and he's probably rushing somewhere right now with the huge bags under his eyes getting larger as we speak." She sounded concerned as she said that. I nodded. Interpol I hadn't expected, but nothing there was too surprising.

  "What age were you before?" She froze.

  Then she gave me a wicked smile.

  "Don't you know it's rude to ask a lady her age, Leaf?" I paled, but she began to laugh.

  "You're fine, your fine! I was thirty." Wow, she was almost as old as my mom! Had been almost as old as my mom. She was still a kid, though, now at least.

  I blurted out the next question before I could stop myself.

  "Why choose me?" She knew what I meant. Her eyes were kind as she squeezed my shoulder.

  "Why not, Leaf? I didn't plan on meeting you, in fact the Professor seems to have deliberately crafted our meeting-" Yeah, he had, now that she said it! No wonder he was so frantic for me to get to the Lab, she had probably just arrived in Kanto!

  "-but why wouldn't I help you? Why wouldn't I travel with you? It's…" She was blushing, and she groaned at my intent look.

  "It's… kind of a childhood dream to travel with a game protagonist, and you were my… favorite…" She was blushing so hard right now. She threw her head back and shook it a few times.

  "Anyways! I'm glad you're thirteen, because letting ten year olds out there is insane! I know you hated it, but look at my hand! I'm so glad I'm not ten again, either, that would be horrible! People already say I act like a kid! I'm not a kid! I'm a grown-ass adult!" She was mad as she said that last part and I laughed. That… was kind of childish.

  No.

  Was it really?

  I think I'm right, but she might kill me if I'm wrong

  I'm certain, though.

  I'm going for it.

  "Have you ever thought that you might be acting like a kid because you are a kid, Erin? You sounded kind of childish, there." I held my hands up as those spooky eyes of hers flashed and Raihan started to laugh.

  "I mean, Erin, because your body is a kid's. Is it so surprising that you're acting like a kid again, no matter how old you were?"

  She looked at me in abject horror and gasped. I didn't know the proud girl was biologically capable of making that noise, and she sounded terrified.

  "Y-You take that back right now Leaf!" Her voice was growing high pitched now, and her face was pale. I began to smile. I had finally rattled her.

  This was a nice distraction from existential dread.

  "You're a kiiid, Erin. What's so baaaad about thaaat?" I sing-songed at her.

  Her face didn't look like it physically could get red right now, but she was certainly pissed.

  "Take it back, Leaf!"

  She certainly screeched like a kid, too.

  She reached for me, but I was no longer as intimidated by this violent, insane girl as I had been when we met, and she wasn't expecting me to grab her hair and pull her forward, to the ground. She sat there, stunned as Raihan stopped laughing and looked at her with pity.

  "Erin… She might have a point. You're acting like a kid who can be intensely mature sometimes. Not like an adult who acts childish sometimes. You've… You've actually gotten worse since the moment you first dropped in here, I know that for a fact from your memories. The intense trauma probably didn't help. You're probably acting like a kid because you are one. Your mind was just gradually adjusting to your body up until now. And Erin, you look comfy as a kid right now." Her eyes were wide in horror as he spoke, bottom lip quivering.

  "I didn't really put it together until she said something, but Erin… Leaf is right. I'm so sorry that I have to break something like that to you. You're a kid again."

  Like it was horrible that I was right!

  Erin looked up at him, hair still in my fist, staring at him, then at me, then at the ground for a long second.

  She took a deep breath.

  With a heart wrenching wail she knocked my hand away. She began to back away slowly as she stood, her face so pale as she stared, hands to her face. She was staring through her raised fingers in horror. Staring at nothing and everything all at once.

  Then she began babbling in fear that grew into something more.

  "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! No! No! No!"

  Denial.

  "Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nuh uh. Not happening. Not me. Not again. No."

  Then it was anger.

  "I refuse. No. No! You can't make me! I am not a child! I am an ADULT! I don't want a do-over of this part! Arceus! Get your ridiculous-lookin' ass down here and fix this you stupid llama-looking FUCK!"

  Her casual blaspheming was overshadowed by the massive glow in her eyes as she raged like a dragon.

  "I never signed up for this! Jirachi! If it was you, thank you, but not a kid! NOT! AGAIN! FUUUUUCK!"

  She screeched before she abruptly charged off towards the valley, Kallen almost slamming into her with a Water Gun before he rapidly used little jets to slow himself. He latched onto Erin's arm and looked back at the rest of her team, as if to say 'I've got this,' even as Erin charged out of sight, still babbling as she denied a truth anyone with eyes could see.

  I looked at Raihan, absolutely stunned by what I had just witnessed. She acted like her life had ended, not suddenly gotten extended! Like her life was going to be terrible just because she was a kid!

  What was so bad about being a kid? I loved being a kid, and it was only going to get so much better for a few years, until I wasn't a kid anymore, but I'd deal with that later.

  Adults had so many responsibilities, and I had already missed most of my time to enjoy being a kid, stuck in sleepy little Pallet Town.

  Being a kid was awesome. Right?

  Raihan was staring after her with pity, however, and that brought me up short. He noticed me staring at him with confusion and chuckled, slowly walking over. He clapped his hand on my shoulder, looking me in the eye.

  "Being a kid is great, Leaf. Enjoy your youth, because it usually only comes once. When it comes twice, however, it's not necessarily a good thing. It's no wonder she's such a mess." He said it fondly.

  "She's an adult in a kid's body that makes her act like one, which embarasses the proud dragon girl. She has all that dragon aura telling her to act like someone different, too, and she'll never be rid of it. She has too much knowledge and empathy along with a savior complex she'll never admit to. She's made a lot of mistakes, Leaf, and she won't mind me telling you that. She'll freely admit it, but that's not the kind of thing you just volunteer." He looked sad.

  "She doesn't want to make more mistakes, but nobody can choose everything. She chose you. She cares. I care. You're a good kid, Leaf. You are your own person, too. Don't let a game decide your life."

  "Not that you're allowed to look for them. Either of you!" He gave me a thunderous frown for a second before releasing it.

  "You're a good kid, Leaf. You have such care for your Pokemon it baffles me. I mean, one wants you dead and I'll bet you still think of him as your baby, or your sweet little guy occasionally." I winced as his verbal attacks critically landed.

  "You may have failed your dragon, but if he had been a Normal type, I don't think the species would have mattered. He would have absolutely lived for your every word, because you do the same for your Pokemon. You just keep getting difficult Pokemon. Still, I believe that you can have that kind of relationship with all of your Pokemon, I truly do."

  His next words were so careful, so measured.

  "You have a gift, Leaf. You have a gift with Pokemon. You just have the worst luck with your choices. If you can adjust, and go from wanting a friend first and a partner second to the reverse, to a situation where you work with your Pokemon first and hopefully develop a relationship deeper than Trainer and Pokemon later, then you will grow powerful. He may never like you, and you can't let that fact break you." He sighed.

  "It's either that or release them and start again, and I think we both know you would never do that. You love them both already, even the horror. Erin's working on that, by the way." I tilted my head at him and he grinned.

  "She's got plans for your little fae, and now that we've got some agreements in place, training is going to… change, Leaf." He grinned like a dragon that had spotted its prey as his eyes locked onto mine. "Change can be so good for you, Leaf. You should embrace it!"

  I gave his vicious grin a nervous look, uneasy about tomorrow already.

  "We had to wait to get to know her a bit, but I'm glad Erin hurried it up. I'd rather you not unleash a dangerous fairy with almost no restrictions, but I'd really rather you not do it twice." I pouted at that. Low blow Raihan.

  "I thought I was forgiven, and that you weren't even going to mention that?" He grinned at me.

  "I said I wouldn't lecture you for it, Leaf. I can still talk about an event that happened. If it sounds like a lecture, that's probably just the guilt."

  He was as bad as Erin sometimes.