Colors bled into each other, and my feet left the ground without warning. It felt like falling upwards — if that even made sense — while my guts played musical chairs inside my body. Not fun. Definitely not fun.
When everything snapped back into place, I was standing on a floating platform that hadn't been there before. Overhead, storm clouds spun in a perfect circle, like a flushed toilet in the sky. In front of me, a massive window of light opened, showing lines of glowing text.
[SYSTEM ERROR: HOST INVALID.]
[Searching for Nearest Compatible Entity...]
[Entity Found: "???"]
[Initiating Emergency Binding Protocol.]
I blinked.
Then blinked again.
"Wait, what? No, no, no. I didn’t sign up for this! I was just running from slimes, damn it!" I shouted into the void.
My voice echoed weirdly, like the world itself was laughing at me. It probably was. That would fit my life’s usual vibe.
Before I could even consider bolting, chains made of pure light wrapped around my arms, legs, and neck. Gentle at first — almost comforting — and then... BAM! I got yanked forward like a piece of rotten meat tossed to a pack of hungry dogs.
Information poured into my head.
Painfully.
I saw glimpses of worlds I didn't understand, skills I didn’t ask for, and quests so ridiculously impossible that just reading them made my brain cramp.
Kill a Void Titan?
Solve the Grand Paradox?
Marry the Witch Queen of Floor 93?
Okay, that last one didn’t sound too bad.
[Emergency Binding Complete.]
[Congratulations, New Host! You have acquired the Title: "Glitch in the System."]
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The words hung there, bright and mocking.
"Glitch in the System."
I couldn’t help it — I laughed. Loud. Ugly. Borderline maniacal.
"Of course," I wheezed. "Of course I’m a goddamn glitch. This is my life now. Beautiful."
The platform under me trembled, and a final message appeared.
[Tutorial Initiating: Survive.]
That was it.
No weapons, no explanations, no ‘good luck, champ!’ from a friendly AI.
Just: Survive.
The platform shattered beneath my feet.
Falling (again) was not on my schedule, but apparently the universe didn't care. I flailed through the air like an angry cat thrown out a window, trying to grab onto anything.
Something sparkled below: a pond.
Maybe I wouldn’t die today!
Maybe.
SPLASH!
Ice-cold water wrapped around me like a coffin. I fought my way to the surface, gasping and spitting like a half-drowned rat. My clothes clung to me like a second skin. Somewhere far away, slimes plopped and jiggled toward the noise.
I dragged myself out of the pond, shivering, soaked, and very much pissed off.
New words floated into view.
[You have unlocked your first ability!]
[Skill: "Misfortune Magnet" (Rank: ???)]
[Effect: You passively attract random unfortunate events.]
I stared at the text for a full ten seconds.
Then fifteen more.
Then finally said:
"WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS?!"
Misfortune Magnet? Seriously? What, were they handing out curses instead of blessings today? Was this some divine prank show?
I sat down heavily on the grass, ignoring the approaching slimes. I needed a minute. Maybe two. Maybe a decade.
"Okay, okay," I muttered to myself, trying to breathe. "Think. You’re a survivor. You survived worse. Like that time you tried to cheat the Golden Merchant and ended up naked in the Goblin Market. You can work with this."
I nodded firmly.
Then a lightning bolt struck the tree next to me, setting it on fire instantly.
"...Yeah, okay. Misfortune Magnet. Got it."
I stood up, brushing myself off as the first slime squelched toward me with deadly (not really) intent.
It wasn’t much of a battle.
One slime lunged.
I sidestepped.
It exploded into a fine mist of goop.
Another slime hopped.
I grabbed a rock and beaned it mid-air.
Survive?
Pfft.
Child’s play.
For now.
Still, something in the back of my mind whispered:
The Tower is watching.
And somewhere, deep within the broken gears of the System, a new protocol was starting. One meant not for heroes... but for mistakes.
And I?
I was the biggest, luckiest mistake of them all.
This journey is filled with chaos, humor, and unexpected twists, and I'm excited to share every new chapter with you.