Time passed slowly. She thought about attempting to solicit passersby like her father does, asking about their families or how their past ails were healing. But whenever she started to reach out her hand to wave, she felt her throat tighten and she shrank back into herself. I’m not even sure I remember their names, she rationalized, afraid to admit that she was driven by apprehension and self-indulgence. With no customers there, her mind was free to guiltily wander back to what she would do with the Sign of Foresight. For one, she would never buy anything at full price again since she would know when a sale was coming up. She would also never be surprised by the rain. She imagined herself smugly opening her umbrella just before a sudden downpour as the crowd previously stealing mocking glances at her broke into chaos, running for cover. A thought bubbled up in her mind, bursting through the fantasy - how simple-minded. Sage suddenly felt disappointed in her lack of imagination, how narrow her focus had been even with such an incredible ability. Resignation slowly climbed up her body, as if a hand had reached out of the earth and gripped her in place. If it’s really so hard to imagine myself outside of this town, perhaps this is where I belong. She swallowed hard, confused by the burning in her eyes threatening to reveal her irritation with herself. Sage felt small.
The sounds of familiar voices growing clearer through the din of the crowd grounded Sage back in reality. She took a deep breath and shook her head, refocusing her eyes on searching the faces in the crowd. She noticed a group of her old school friends heading towards her stall - Sven, his usual gaggle of admirers, and a few others she didn’t recognize. She looked at the ground, wishing she could hide. Things with Sven had been awkward ever since she turned him down. He had wanted a reason and she didn’t know what to say.
“Ah, Sage! Where’s your dad? Or did you already take over the shop for yourself?” Sven asked loudly, making sure his friends could hear. Sage tried not to roll her eyes.
“He’s around. Just talking with some of the other merchants. Is there something I can do for you?” Sage put on her best fake merchant smile, not showing her gritted teeth. When they had been friends, Sven was one of the few people she had entrusted with her fears about being trapped as the town herbalist. As far as she knew he hadn’t told anyone else about her secret fears and ambitions, but he seemed to take every possible chance to try and provoke her.
“Actually, my cousin here is visiting from the city for the Autumn Twilight Festival. They wanted a perfume that goes with their lotion, but they don’t remember the names of the plants or oils or whatever.” Sven pulled someone forward who had been standing behind the friends Sage recognized. They stood a good foot shorter than Sven, just about at Sage’s height, with Sven’s same rich dark skin and honey brown eyes. In contrast to Sven’s short cropped black hair, they had thick, tightly wound braids pulling their hair up to the crown of their head, where it was released into a bouncy, soft frohawk. Their facial features were more delicate than Sven’s strong, angular face, but the family resemblance was clear. They gave Sage a crooked, awkward smile.
“Hey, I’m Alex. And I’m not as self-obsessed as Sven makes me sound.” They elbowed Sven playfully, and he laughed. Sage was distracted by Alex’s gentle, deep voice. It struck a chord somewhere inside her.
“Yeah whatever, listen we’re going to go check out some clothes and see what will look best on me for the festival, so I’ll meet you back at the house later!” Sven didn’t wait for a response before striding off, admirers in tow. Alex looked like they wanted to call something after him, but decided it wasn’t worth it. They turned their gaze back to Sage.
“So, Sven said you’re the one to see about identifying flowers and herbs from smell alone.” Alex tilted their head and raised their eyebrows. Sage couldn’t stop herself from smiling.
“Well, I am an herbalist I suppose. Did you bring the lotion with you?” She was surprised at how little it bothered her to call herself an herbalist. In fact, she felt a little excited to show off her expertise.
“Ah, no. I guess that would’ve been smart, huh?” Alex chuckled. “But I did put some on before we walked down to the market. Think it’s strong enough to tell?” Alex smiled coyly and leaned over the display counter, offering their wrist.
Sage blinked. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t know how she felt or what she thought. She steadied their wrist gently with one hand and leaned forward to inhale the fragrance. She closed her eyes to concentrate.
“Vanilla. Lavender. Maybe some wild hazel.” What a lovely combination. Sage breathed deeply again and opened her eyes to find Alex making direct eye contact with her. Sage blushed for only the third time in her life.
“That sounds about right to me! Think you could make a perfume that smells similar?” Alex withdrew their hand as Sage had frozen in place still holding their wrist. Sage attempted to steady herself by swiping some invisible dust off of her legs. She thought Alex’s smile seemed somewhat smug now.
“Yeah, uh - yeah I can do that! I guess you’ll need it by tonight since the festival is tomorrow. It won’t take long to prepare, I can make sure that’s done by tonight. Should I just drop it off at Sven’s or...” Sage averted her eyes and trailed off, blaming Alex’s constant eye contact for losing her train of thought.
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“Actually, it’s for you.” Sage snapped her eyes back up to Alex and furrowed her brow. They shrugged roguishly and looked away, feigning guilt. “I didn’t really come here about the perfume or the lotion. I told you I wasn’t that self-obsessed.” They winked and leaned comfortably against the display counter.
Sage was confused, and she started to feel embarrassed. “Then why did you come?” She took a half step back from the counter.
“I came to see the only person with enough sense in this town to turn down Sven. You wouldn’t believe how long he went on about how you broke his heart!” Alex laughed. Sage still felt the tension of embarrassment rising in her chest. “I don’t blame you - between you and me, he’s kind of an idiot.” Alex smiled warmly. “But still, with how he talks about so many people falling all over themselves to get his attention, I had to know more about the heartbreaker who saw straight through him.” Silence hung in the air; Sage’s mind had gone blank. She couldn’t tell if they were being friendly or making fun of her.
“Anyway,” Alex continued, apparently undeterred by the silence, “I figured if Sven wasn’t your type, maybe we’d get along pretty well and you’d agree to come to the festival with me. I hear it’s way more fun with a date.” Alex smiled and raised their eyebrows hopefully, waiting for a response.
Sage felt an unusual fluttering in her stomach. She carefully searched Alex’s eyes for any sign of insincerity, trying to convince herself this was some sort of elaborate prank to set her up for humiliation at the festival. Maybe Sven had just been biding his time and had finally enlisted his cousin to assist him in getting revenge for being rejected, apparently for the only time in his life. But then again, maybe Sven wasn’t that complicated. The only thing she saw in Alex’s eyes was earnest excitement.
“Yeah, sure.” The words spilled out of Sage’s mouth before she could overthink them. “I’ll go with you.” She couldn’t stop the smile breaking over her face even if she wanted to.
Alex beamed at her. “Great! Then, you wear that perfume - I mean, if you want, you don’t have to if you don’t want to - and I’ll get Sven to give me directions so I can come by your place and we can walk together to the festival tomorrow.” Alex spoke breathlessly, betraying a nervousness they had been hiding. Sage felt more at ease knowing they felt anxious too. She nodded her agreement. They made their awkward goodbyes just as Gregor returned.
He made a show of watching Alex go, looking dramatically between Alex and Sage with his eyebrows raised higher than Sage had ever seen. “And who is that?” He asked with exaggerated inflection.
“Dad, stop.” Sage groaned but was unable to completely hide her smile. “Just my friend’s cousin. We’re all going to the festival tomorrow.” Although she had turned away, she could practically hear her father wiggling his eyebrows at her.
“Ohohoho, I thought you weren’t going to the festival tomorrow? I thought you said the Twilight Festivals were boring?” Gregor couldn’t keep from chuckling. Sage decided to ignore him and continued to busy herself making her perfume.
The day drifted into late afternoon without incident. The stall was busier than usual with customers stocking up before the festival; the entire market square would be closed the next day in preparation for the evening Autumn Twilight festivities. Sage distracted herself from her mixed feelings of excitement and dread for the festival by continuing to guiltily fantasize about what she would do with each of the Signs. The Sign of Elements was easily the best one in Sage’s eyes. There was just something about shooting fire out of her fingertips or breathing underwater that appealed to Sage.
Sage and her father closed down the stall and packed everything away to haul back home with Sage in the fog of daydream, wondering if the Sign of Elements would allow her to fly. Gregor tried a few times on the long walk home to ask Sage more about her plans for the festival, but she pretended not to notice. He figured it would be pointless to push and let her be.
When they arrived home, Sage rushed inside and up to the room she shared with her younger two sisters. The anxiety of realizing she had no idea what to wear or how to style her hair for the festival toed the line of excitement and regret. She briefly wondered if she might still be able to get out of going, but pushed the thought out of her mind. Alex had a sincere and approachable quality to them, and surely they would have plenty to share about life in the city. Sage felt her heart quicken as she rifled through her small closet for something that would look nice, match the traditional color scheme of the festival, and still fit. She was pickier than usual - generally she settled for whatever fit and felt comfortable. She was excited to dress up a little, and kept searching until she found a suit still in good shape. Her older brother had worn it for past Autumn Twilight festivals, when he would still have worn the traditional colors of the unmarried. The suit was uncomplicated - a simple fitted brown shirt and pants with a bright red overcoat. The shirt and pants could be temporarily adjusted to better fit Sage, and the coat was already a passable fit. The coat was long, angling down from front to back, with elaborate gold embroidery. From the back, the length would make it look almost like a dress on Sage. She held the heavy coat in front of her, lamenting that this was probably the most lavish clothing in the house. Her brother had always joked that the plainness of the outfit helped his personality sparkle that much more. She supposed it had worked for him, since he did meet his wife at an Autumn Twilight Festival. The rough material itched her palm. He’s always been more outgoing and sociable than Sage. She laid the outfit down on her bed and looked it over. Even with alterations, she doubted if it would really fit her. She often doubted that she was enough.
After awkwardly asking her younger brother and mother, both skilled with tailoring, to help her alter the suit, Sage sat down with the rest of her family for dinner. Usually she was able to quietly observe the noise and chaos of the family dinner, like a stone gently sinking through choppy waters. Sometimes she felt like she was watching them from underwater, as if she were far away somehow. Disconnected despite the elbows bumping into her on both sides around the cramped table. But tonight it seemed everyone was talking to her at once. Her parents, both asking her about what changed her mind about going to the festival, her older brother and his wife asking what she would wear, her older sister asking about how she would style her hair, her younger twin sisters taunting her about who she would be going with, and her youngest brother asking if he could come too. She found herself trying to listen and talk at the same time, carrying on multiple conversations at once. It was a warm sort of chaos, but chaos nonetheless. As soon as she could, she made her excuses to leave the table.
