[Group Chat - love battle]
[Members: Uprise (creator), Sage, Firebrand, Problem, Victor, Rain, Forest Master, Vita]
[Uprise]
thank you for coming here
i’m glad to have your company
[Problem]
I didn’t agree or sign anything. I was forcibly added against my will.
[Rain]
Whatever battle we will embark on, you will have my blade and my undying courage, Kotone-chan!
(′?? ω ??)
[Vita]
Why did I get added
[Uprise]
this is not an ordinary battle, samurai rei
this is a battle of love, hearts, and mind
thus! you know why we’re here
[Sage]
To decide who’s the best Foxmaiden?
[Victor]
kyoka
[Vita]
umeka
[Forest Master]
Reika
[Rain]
Reika!!!
[Firebrand]
not a single yuka
[Vita]
As a healer, I *would* be inclined to vote yuka but she’s an overgrown rat and kinda unnerving. It’s no surprise that she consistently polls last
[Uprise]
wow not only am i disgusted at your choices for favorite foxmaiden but you guys are completely missing the point
this is about alex!
he’s caught in the middle of a love triangle between two of the most gorgeous women in the city!
like holy crap i wish i was him
[Victor]
don’t say that to him
[Forest Master]
“That’s probably the worst wish you could’ve made.”
[Victor]
“if youre wishing for a decades worth of trauma be my fucking guest”
[Firebrand]
“lol lmao”
[Vita]
right
one of the corners is the princess of the demonic cult
[Sage]
And an elf!
[Firebrand]
So yea what do u want us to do abt it
kill alex?
[Rain]
NOOOOOOO
(?﹏?)
[Uprise]
no
not yet anyway
today we will draw sides
[SYSTEM]
Uprise has created a poll! The results will be public!
[Poll - Who will conquer Conqerer's heart]
Celestial Empress (YAY!)
Silverhonor (BOO!)
[Forest Master]
I think there’s some bias in the options
[Problem]
How do you keep misspelling this man’s codename
[Vita]
I’m putting money down on this
[Sage]
Don’t gamble! Gambling is bad for you!
[Problem]
You spend hundreds of dollars on PNGs of fictional anime women!
[Sage]
I will break your legs.
[Victor]
well shit if lia’s putting money down then i’m doing it too
[Vita]
Stop copying me~
[Uprise]
do whatever you want but we gotta determine allegiance
then the war begins
whoever supports the demon will be honorary members of the demonic cult
whoever supports the elf will be honorary members of her kingdom
[Victor]
that sounds a lot of effort i think i’m gonna let alex figure this out
[Forest Master]
Do you think he knows how to navigate this without getting killed?
[Victor]
you guys literally had a thing for like 2 weeks
[Firebrand]
huh that’s news to me
[Sage]
Wowie
[Rain]
ヽ(°〇°)?
[Forest Master]
Our friendship’s purely platonic. Besides, an experiment is incomparable to this!
[Firebrand]
either way if alex crashes and burns i’m there for it
fuck i’m praying rn that it happens
[Uprise]
you are like his biggest hater
[Firebrand]
i don’t want him to be happy
i want constant problems for him
[Vita]
@Sage that’s your boyfriend
[Sage]
That’s my boyfriend…
I wish we can all get along without someone making rude comments about gacha games
[Problem]
Hundreds of dollars.
PNGs.
FICTIONAL.
[Uprise]
ok but i need soldiers for this war of love after my last operation failed
i got chunhua but rei wants to remain neutral
[Rain]
I was deceived once… I shall not be deceived again!
[Firebrand]
10 minutes ago i convinced you that the government’s making robotic pigeons to spy on people
[Victor]
wdym they 100% doing that
[Uprise]
guys!!! we need more people to play matchmaker!
[Problem]
Not interested in angering Archknell and Mongrel.
[Sage]
I trust Alex! Just as long as he picks Leo!
[Vita]
I’ll play matchmaker
[Uprise]
REALLY?!
[Vita]
I really know how hearts work
I got a good picture
[Victor]
DON’T LISTEN TO HER
lia means it literally
she’ll give you a pic of her holding a real human heart
[Firebrand]
gnarly where’s the heart pic
[Uprise]
the war is doomed from the beginning…
i failed you alex
you must be stressing out on picking your soulmate!
[Vita]
[image embedded]
[Rain]
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
***
[Group Chat - best friends!]
[Members: Celestial Empress (creator), Conqueror, Silverhonor]
[Celestial Empress]
There we go
Now we don’t have to play telephone so often
[Conqueror]
Not another gc
[Celestial Empress]
Boohoo you’re popular
[Conqueror]
I’m in like 15 different gcs
Then again half of them are kotone’s since she keeps fucking making them
[Celestial Empress]
There’s something called a leave button
You should use it
[Conqueror]
Bitch
[Silverhonor]
I checked my messages to immediately see quarreling
Anyway! Hello everyone!
\( ̄▽ ̄)/
[Celestial Empress]
Heyyyyyyy
(? ???)
[Conqueror]
wtf is that face
Hold on how can you even make emojis like that
Rei uses them all the time
[Celestial Empress]
Check your emoji tab and type “kaomoji”
The system literally has like 1000s of emojis
[Conqueror]
I see them
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
[Silverhonor]
The first thing he sends is vulgarity…
[Conqueror]
I’m sorry for tainting your eyes
[Silverhonor]
I’m not that pure!!! My innocence is very much tainted!
[SYSTEM]
Conqueror has taken a screenshot.
[Silverhonor]
DELETE THAT!!!!!!!
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
[Celestial Empress]
Maybe it was a mistake inviting Alex
[Silverhonor]
Clearly!
Now you have to see him bullying me both here and in real life!
Why did you create a group chat with us three anyway?
[Celestial Empress]
In case we want you over again
Maybe next time, Alex will actually cook you something good
[Conqueror]
She still hasn’t gotten over that fact
[Silverhonor]
I’d already eaten dinner by then, but I’m still thankful for the meal
Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
I have to ask though…
You didn’t fully answer me when I’d brought it up…
And I’ve been really curious since then…
[Conqueror]
Please ask…
Please…
[Silverhonor]
What exactly are your living arrangements?
[Conqueror]
Freeloader
[Celestial Empress]
Assistant
[Silverhonor]
Pardon?
[Conqueror]
I cook her meals
[Celestial Empress]
I pay for groceries
[Silverhonor]
I’m still struggling to understand…
[Conqueror]
We live in the same building
[Celestial Empress]
We’re basically living in the same apartment
[Conqueror]
We even finish each other’s sentences
[Celestial Empress]
period.
[Silverhonor]
I absolutely enjoy how adorable you’re both are, but allow me to me verbalize my thoughts
You are both essentially roommates, having an arrangement where Alexander cooks the meals while Leo assists in virtually everything else?
[Celestial Empress]
He’s also been teaching me how to cook!
[Conqueror]
We have a whiteboard in the kitchen going “DAYS SINCE LAST FIRE”
10 days and counting
[Celestial Empress]
My proudest achievement yet, heh
[Silverhonor]
I’m…happy for you? I like to think I’m a decent chef, but I prefer baking more than cooking
[Conqueror]
Got that in common with Chie
[Celestial Empress]
I just need to teach Alex how to make kimchi
Every time I visit home, I always carry back, like, 10 jars of kimchi
You can’t beat demonic cult kimchi
[Conqueror]
Do they flavor it with fuckin
Demonic salt or something
[Celestial Empress]
Just the blood of goats and the tears of tortured virgins
[Conqueror]
Hilarious
[Silverhonor]
Well, I’m glad you have a personal chef at your disposal
Though, I would like to treat you both to a personal service sometime
[Celestial Empress]
A pretty elf cooking our favorite foods…
[Conqueror]
I can imagine you drooling over your screen
[Silverhonor]
I’ll take it as a compliment
I know Leo’s favorite food but what’s yours?
BBQ pork buns?
[Conqueror]
holy shit
wtf
Seriously what the fuck
[Silverhonor]
What? Did I say something wrong?
[Conqueror]
No, I fucking love char siu bao but how the hell did you guess that
Like actually you got it 100% spot on
Again
[Silverhonor]
…
That’s…
I don’t know why this keeps happening
[Celestial Empress]
Shit now I’m starting to feel a little jealous
Are you sure you don’t have mind reading powers or something?
[Silverhonor]
No!
I
I’m sorry
Can we move on please?
[Celestial Empress]
Sweetheart you’re just a lottery winner it’s fine
[Silverhonor]
Let’s move on please.
[Conqueror]
OK
So
How’s the weather?
[Celestial Empress]
Miserable
[Conqueror]
I’m getting a suntan outside princess
It’s the best weather we had all week
[Celestial Empress]
fuck you
[Silverhonor]
( ̄  ̄|||)
***
[You have entered Group Chat - Determination]
[Members: Colossus (creator), Dominance, Tusk, Silhouette, Stainless, Dictim]
[Dominance]
I have big news
[Stainless]
??
[Dictum]
What is it?
[Microphone]
Oh oh! I think I know it!
[Dominance]
I know you know
Blue Fever’s old clubhouse is going to the STF
[Stainless]
Dude srsly?
Bro
I mean couldn’t have happened to a better team but cmon
[Colossus]
It’s bound to happen.
Blue Fever weren’t…exactly the best at keeping their clubhouse clean
[Dominance]
Or safe.
[Microphone]
Every time I walked by it stunk of cat piss
[Stainless]
Nvm I’m glad the STF has it now
[Tusk]
They’ll respect the building
Empress won’t let it fall apart
[Stainless]
If Firebrand doesn’t burn it down
So new team rule? Don’t go into their clubhouse if Firebrand is present?
[Colossus]
Don’t anger Firebrand in the first place.
[Microphone]
Ngl boss that’s kinda like saying ‘don’t piss off a feral cat’ or ‘drink water that doesn’t have hydrogen molecules’
[Dictim]
I…don’t understand those analogies.
[Stainless]
You’ll get used to it
[Colossus]
*Whatever* you do, it’s best to stay out of their business in general
Don’t be like Vita
[Tusk]
Who?
[Stainless]
The insanely hot goth girl at the hospital
[Tusk]
Don’t know her
[Stainless]
Bruh
Vita is like top 10 in the guild in terms of looks
Too bad she’s hanging out with the STF now
[Colossus]
Stainless.
[Stainless]
Yessir?
[Colossus]
Can you go one day without trying to get into a woman’s skirt?
[Stainless]
I’m admiring God’s gifts everyday, sir
[Colossus]
Admire them quietly, if not silently
[Stainless]
Whatever
Maybe I should hit up her DMs again and see what she’s up to
***
[Group Chat - love battle]
[VIta]
[image embedded]
[Victor]
STOP POSTING GORE PICS
[Rain]
I cannot erase these images from my mind!
[SYSTEM]
Uprise has muted Vita for 30 minutes!
[Uprise]
phew
no more gore
[Firebrand]
damn
maybe i should be a doctor
[Problem]
You wouldn’t get passed the first page of a medical textbook
[Firebrand]
eh i’ll have vic take the exams and cheat for me
[Victor]
dude i barely passed my exams
[Uprise]
this is a disaster! A disaster!
we were supposed to talk about romance and who alex should end up with!
but lia keeps spamming the chat with gore pics while chie spams with gacha pics
[Sage]
I have 100 pages of every gacha roll I ever made
Most of them are depressing but I can and will out-spam everyone here
[Problem]
I genuinely prefer if you’d hoarded the most heinous of insect photos than post your gambling addiction
[Victor]
why insects?
[Problem]
I hate most insects.
[Forest Master]
@Uprise Give it up
Most of us are perfectly content to be observers, not the actual actors
[Rain]
Mhm! Just like those anime rom-coms I watched with Chie-chan, I do not want to be entangled in messy romantic affairs!
Anyway, I will do just that!
I need to cure my mind!
[Uprise]
bye rei…
[Forest Master]
I’m sorry this happened to you
[Rain]
\(^?^)メ(^?^)ノ
[Sage]
Honestly if you do anything that might hurt Alex or Leo, we’re probably gonna stop you ourselves
[Firebrand]
not me
[Sage]
Not Aiden but I’ll stop you!
We gotta let this play out naturally
[Uprise]
ok but i gotta *know*
i need action and this is all the action i’m gonna get
other than listening to sophos tell stories about you
[Sage]
Hey!
Uh
She hasn’t told any embarrassing stories right?
[Uprise]
…
[Sage]
THAT’S WORSE THAN GHOSTING ME
[Forest Master]
…Body pillow
[Sage]
WHICH ONE?!?!?!
[Problem]
That’s a terrible way to answer that question
[Sage]
Nonononononono
Let’s talk about Alex!
Uhhhhhhhhhhh
Ask him!
Ask him who he likes better!
[Uprise]
ask him what body pillow he prefers?
[Sage]
NO
Uhhhh
[Problem]
Ask him what’s his type
[Sage]
That! Ask him what’s his type
Or if he had any previous gfs
[Firebrand]
or bfs
[Victor]
hes def not gay
i checked
[Problem]
???
[Uprise]
ok yknow what slayer team, i can do that
lemme see if i can get some intel outta him
interrogation style
[Firebrand]
this will go horribly
[Forest Master]
Let’s hope for the best…
***
[Private Message - Uprise]
[Uprise]
hey
[Conqueror]
Good timing guess what happened to me
[Uprise]
gasp
you got engaged
[Conqueror]
Not yet
Lyressa guessed my favorite food
[Uprise]
wowie
anyway speaking of lyressa what’s your romance resume
[Conqueror]
My what
[Uprise]
RR
romance resume
sometimes called document of previous romantic relationships (dprr)
sometimes sometimes also called cuties catalog
[Conqueror]
I have no clue what you’re talking about and I’m going to assume you’re making shit up again
[Uprise]
what previous gfs did you have
[Conqueror]
Why?
[Uprise]
i’m writing an article about you
[Conqueror]
I already have a journalist friend Kotone i don’t need another one
[Uprise]
ok but this is valuable intel for future operations
[Conqueror]
Where you prank me?
[Uprise]
yea
so who else did you kiss? i know you had a girl back in high home
[Conqueror]
1 year didn’t work out
[Uprise]
yea yea you guys had toxic problems but anyone else?
other than the girl i have a nasty crush on
[Conqueror]
1 gf before hangzhou but I’m obviously not counting that
[Uprise]
really? 2.5 girlfriends?
[Conqueror]
I’m sorry I was too busy running my start-up to have time for relationships
[Uprise]
dang
kinda disappointing
[Conqueror]
Wby
[Uprise]
uhhhhhhh
ermmmmmmmmmmm
[Conqueror]
Okay, you don’t have to tell me that you’re inexperienced
[Uprise]
no
just
had a big crush on one of my senpais
don’t wanna talk about it
[Conqueror]
We have that in common
Relationships we don’t want to talk about
[Uprise]
??
and another girl we have feelings for
[Conqueror]
Had
[Uprise]
right
i’m not had i’m having
but lemme ask you straight up: you got eyes on anyone right now?
[Conqueror]
I have a feeling you’re talking about a very specific person
[Uprise]
i mean do you?
[Conqueror]
Do you have a group chat with the team that doesn’t include me or Leo?
[Uprise]
no
*
[Group Chat - love battle]
[Uprise]
HE’S ONTO US ABORT MISSION
*
[Uprise]
i’m curious
[Conqueror]
Not right now
But that could change idk
That’s all I’ll say
Use that to create your feature story
[Uprise]
ok i can work with that
thx alex
[Conqueror]
Uh huh
[Uprise]
wait one more question
what do you prefer: martial beauties or elves
[Conqueror]
Espers
[Uprise]
nope not in this worldline
[Conqueror]
Uh huh get out of my DMs
[Uprise]
bruh
***
[Private Message - Vita]
[Victor]
why are you posting so much gore ??
[Vita]
My bad my bad
I got a little carried away
Are you upset?
[Victor]
kinda
tbh idk what’s going on in the gc too much shit is happening
[Vita]
Consider this as an apology
Actually gimme a sec taking a picture using the system is a pain in the ass
[Victor]
oh god not another one
[Vita]
[image embedded]
You there? I promise it’s not gore this time~
[Victor]
uhhhhhh
you sure you sent the right pic?
[Vita]
What do you think slave?
Sundrop’s taking me to some gala so I need some advice on what I’m gonna wear tn
[Victor]
you couldve yknow
uh
put your dresses on the bed and not use a mirror
[Vita]
Too much work besides you never seen a girl in her undergarments before?
??
[Victor]
hold on i need a minute
[Vita]
Woahhhh you’re getting excited already??
[Victor]
NOT LIKE THAT!
*
[Private Message - Victor]
[Victor]
what do you do if a girl’s asking you for fashion advice
[Conqueror]
Wtf is going on today
Idk dude
Give her your honest opinions
[Victor]
ok i’ll work with that
[Conqueror]
Is it Lia?
[Victor]
brb
[Conqueror]
IS IT LIA
*
[Victor]
the red one
i think that looks better on you
imho idk much about fashion anyway
[Vita]
I like the red dress too
Your taste isn’t half-bad
[Victor]
tbf you picked out two good dresses
[Vita]
Mmm gimme another compliment, my self-esteem is at an all time low and I’m barely resisting the urge to murder someone
[Victor]
uh
you’re funny sometimes
[Vita]
4/10 another one
[Victor]
bruh
nvm
[Vita]
Hey
Come back here
It’ll be your heart in my hand next
[Victor]
ok
***
[Private Message - Uprise]
[Conqueror]
Random question what do you think about Lia?
[Uprise]
I hate victor
[Conqueror]
Ok then