“Is that Knuckles?” asked Budou, sharp as ever.
“I don’t think that Knuckles actually exists in the world of Wuweizi,” said Xi Guo Lao. “In fact I am completely certain that he does not, since sentient anthropomorphic echidnas don’t exist here. Or regular echidnas, for that matter, since we aren’t in some crappy Australian isekai world.”
“Did you know I can recite the full lyrics of Knuckles’s theme song?” Budou asked.
“I didn’t know that, and I’m actually scared about that fact.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“No, I do believe you.”
“I’m going to recite them verbatim,” Budou warned.
“Please, never do this.”
“I’m going to do it.”
“Please—“
“Here I come, rougher than the rest of them
The best of them, tougher than leather
You can call me Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don't chuckle
I'd rather flex my vines
I'm hard as nails, it ain't hard to tell
I break 'em down whether they solid or frail
Unlike the rest I'm independent from my first breath, first test
Feel the right then the worst's left
Born on an island in the sky
The blood of my ancestors flows inside you
My duty is to save the flower from evil cultivation
I will be the one to set your vines free true
Cleanse yourself of them evil spirits that's in you
Streaking lights, loud sounds, and instinct
Are the elements that keep me going
I am fighting my own mission
Nothing's gonna stand in my way
I will be the one to set your heart free true
Cleanse yourself of them evil soul crystals that are located inside of you
Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the vine and turmoil
Just believe in myself, won't rely on others
Get this power to wipe out the havoc and anarchy
This is my planet, gonna fight for my destiny
Here I come, rougher than the rest of them
The best of them, tougher than leather
You can call me Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don't chuckle
I'd rather flex my vines
I'm hard as nails, it ain't hard to fail
I break 'em down whether they solid or shit
Unlike the rest I'm independent from my first test, first pass
Feel the right then the worst's right
I have no such things as weak points
Don't approve of him, but got to trust his
This alliance has a purpose
This partnership is only temporary
I will be the one to set your heart free true
Cleanse yourself of evil spirits that got in you
Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the pain and turmoil
Just believe in myself, won't rely on others
Freedom will be waiting when serenity is restored
This is my planet, I shall not surrender
Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the pain and turmoil
Just believe in myself, won't rely on others
Get this power to wipe out the havoc and anarchy
This is my planet, gonna fight
Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the pain and turmoil
Just believe in myself, won't rely on anything (except for vines)
Freedom will be waiting when serenity is restored
This is my planet, I shall not surrender
The new porcupine on the block with the puffed chest
Out the wilderness with the ruggedness
Knock, knock, it's Knuckles, the blow thrower
Independent flower, magical Crystal Soul holder
Give you the coldest shoulder
My spike goes through boulders
That's why I stay a loner
I was born by myself
I don't need a posse, I get it on by myself
Adversaries get fucked!”
...
...
Xi Guo Lao stared at Budou for about fifteen seconds, unable to speak a single word.
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“Impressive, huh?”
“Actually, I think you messed up a lot of it.”
“No way!”
“No, you most certainly did. Knuckles doesn’t swear.”
“He says ‘sexy and smooth’ in the Wild Canyon theme!”
“’Sexy’ is only a swear when you are seven.”
“True, but...”
“Just leave it,” commanded Xi Guo Lao.
“But... You know what! I can also recite the OTHER Knuckles theme!!!!”
“You...”
“But only the parts rapped by Hunnid-P!”
“NOOOOOOOO—“
“Something is calling me
I don't know what (Yeah)
Something is talking
But I don't know who (Yeah)
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what (Yeah)
Something is talking
But I don't know who (Yeah)
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
K-N-U-C-K-L-E-S
Was born for a lifetime
On Angel Island (yeah)
His duty's to protect
Master diamond
Hold the climate change metaphors
He's searching for shinin'
But everytime he look for the vines,
Is this the way?
The path I chose?
Then why am I living with my heart so warm?
All that I see is a storm of vines
I like to dig holes in search of platnium and ruby and sapphire
Large pots of treasure make me feel much better
If I fight Eggman, Rouge, Elon Musk, Vinelord, whoever, whatever, whenever
Clench my vines tight
Become more redder
I don't wanta hurta
My passion observed
Been lonely all my life...
Does it fucking matter?
Here for the mission
Whoever want it bring it
Call me stubborn but I'm still gonna live it
Doing anything to get
The pieces of the booty
Gonnalimb the mountain, through the booty, around us
Wild and hungry, ain't a vined thing funny
My philosophy's my knuckles and vines!
Something is calling me
I don't know what (Yeah)
Something is talking
But I don't know who (Yeah)
But I don't know who (Yeah)
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
I was born like this to fear no-one
I'm straight vined out
Only live to my ones
Diamonds and gems
We 'ka battle to the end
You best to be aware of the knuckles that I send
Once they penetrate, they'll put you to your death
They hard as iron and my vines is like fire
You'll never see me run and I won't surrender
I'll just fly away like it's no other contender
Something is calling me
I don't know what (Yeah)
Something is talking
But I don't know who (Yeah)
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what (Yeah)
Something is talking
But I don't know who (Yeah)
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines
Something is calling me
I don't know what
Something is talking
But I don't know who
Something is calling me
More and more
No one stops Knuckles' vines!”
...
...
“This is quite possibly the worst day of my entire life,” said Xi Guo Lao.”
“It’ll be a lot worse when the actual plot of the story starts,” said Budou. "It's going to be so subpar." He blew a puff of smoke in Xi Guo Lao’s face for no good reason.
“Hey!”
“Hay is for horses.”
Xi Guo Lao ignored that. “What is up with all these references to vines? It’s like you’re trying to artifically make some sort of meme or something. That is NOT how memes work.”
“Get froggin’ real!” Budou shouted.
“Is that, like, your catchphrase now?”
“Get froggin’ real!” he repeated.
“You really need to explain the vine stuff.”
“I don’t, and won’t, because then it would ruin the sur—“
“I’M ATTACKING AGAIN!”
The red blur reappeared and punched Xi Guo Lao in the face.
OH NO—