Two hours is a long time when all you can do is sit at the bottom of a pitch black sphere. And there is the problem of saving Beowulf's persona. People know there is a monster inside.

  "Petal, I'm going to harvest arms and legs here. Look the other side."

  "Wow, why is that? Is your self-loathing that great? I would comfort you if I could, but I'm too small! Don't do that, silly!"

  "No. I just thought of a plan to save Beowulf. I'm going to slay the monster that is threatening Colchester."

  No! I know you did bad things, but to pay with your own life... It is too much! I can't agree with that!"

  "I am not going to kill myself. I am going to kill the giant monster! As Beowulf!"

  "But how are you going to be at two places at the same... Oh! Tehe, silly me!"

  "Fly to the top of the sphere, it is going to get bloody in here."

  The fairy flies to the top and I use force blade to sever my legs and both arms. Thanks to super regeneration a limb grows back in about six minutes. One hour later I got three full sets of colossal troll limbs. There is no reason for me to harvest only one if I'm going to do it. I also got about two dozen horns and a lot of skin and ribs.

  "The plan is to make a colossus puppet and stay invisible in the sphere. The puppet will fly to the central square and we will intercept it there. We will claim the right to fight that monster, and I will sever the limbs one by one. In the end, we are going to use a magic that will only leave the skin and ribs behind. Of course, it will be an illusion. And there is where you enter. You will help me using the item box and with the illusions. I hope the guard don't meddle."

  "Uh, I got it! It is going to be awesome! The monster rampages without killing anyone, and then the hero appears and woosh fights the monster and bam! Defeats the monster! You are some kind of genius, Grendel!"

  "And you will keep protective coating and stay behind me all the time. Also, keep a light spell on you to make you glow. I want people to know I walk with a fairy."

  We wait for another hour. It was so boring that Petal fell asleep but I picked up the slack and kep tc. When the humanization cooldown ended, I transformed into Beowulf once again. My lord's clothes were ruined just like some green guy with similar growth problems, so I changed into my adventurer's clothes.

  "Petal, I'm ready. Wake up and let's go!"

  She groans and slowly flutters up.

  "Just one more candy! Oh, hey, Beowulf. Fancy seeing you here. Wherever 'here' is."

  "Here we go! It is showtime, petal!" I miserably try to psyche her up. The fairy frowns. "I'm dispelling the sphere."

  What the...

  That was a system message window, not a chat room. What is going on? I dismiss it and find a puzzled Petal behind the window.

  "Are you, like, setting your status or spending SP? I didn't see any changes though. Are you getting cold feet, hero? Cheer up, silly! We are going to pull it off!"

  "Yes, right. Something odd happened, must be some glitch. The system is malfunctioning anyway. Nothing important, I'm sure of it..." No. I'm not sure, but I don't want to freak out. There is so many things going on that talking to the Mighty OZ might break something in me.

  Ok, time to freak out. Shit got real. Let me put the fairy in the loop first.

  "Petal, there is someone trying to contact me through the system. Hey you, system person-thing, can you listen to me? What is going on?"

  Petal buzzes around my head and pulls my cheek to grab my attention. "Beowulf, who is it?"

  "Someone in charge of the System, I think. Or the System is alive and we are going to need the skynewt protocols."

  She puts a finger to her cheek and asks, "You need what part of a newt, again?"

  I shrug. "Nevermind. System person-thing, can you open a chatrom beetween us two and you?"

  As if I could. Or wait... "is there a way to get back to Earth?"

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  A window in English where I can actually interact and input stuff appeared. I can't believe what I am reading.

  How much time are 2.352 e+11 seconds, please? I bet these two heroes that built this system are long dead. Or I'll squeeze their puny human necks for not formatting their units. At least getting to the level cap of a tier 1 job is trivial now.

  "What was that?"

  The chatroom was dismissed, leaving both of us in the boring mirrored dimensional sphere.

  "Let's get invisible and return home."

  "Sounds like a plan to me, boss."