“Welcome back, Ordo, to the Ordoian Sunlight Show in the fresh new month of July! I hope you enjoyed our interview with Lily Seo featuring her latest album—I freaking love her work, you don’t even know—but we have bigger, badder things on our plate for this morning! Normally this isn’t a political radio show—I mean what do you take us for? America? Sheesh! Where was I again? Oh right, normally we don’t talk politics but only if politics is juicy enough to talk about, yeah? Yeah, c’mon, I can’t be the only one.
“You guys know about the Summer Scare? Of course you know, it’s been in the news cycle for the last week, but the real scoop is this: apparently, and don’t sue me for this, Angels and Wisdom Guild actually caused it. Or they’re more involved than we think! Who knows, who knows, but we want your thoughts on this!
“Which is why we already have a caller on the line. What’s up Georgie, baby, how you holding up?”
“Oh, I’m holding up just fine, Travis, because I got some choice words for this so-called conspiracy. It’s not even a conspiracy in the first place! Everybody knows they did it! Everybody! They staged the Summer Scare because they’re a buncha money-grubbing, Satanic, power-hungry despots spawning from the same sinful hole they crawled out of! They sacrificed children to their altar stored at the depths of their damned headquarters and it was all perpetrated by that false ruler, Kosmos, leading everyone around like cows to the slaughter—!”
“Ohoho, uh, I gotta stop you right there, George! You are really passionate about this subject but we should leave room for the next caller, haha. Uhm…”
*
Trending
Foxmaiden
Phenomena Society
Shields
Jun-hyeok
Angels
@yukafanclub
WHERE IS MY QUEEN WHERE IS SHE
@kyokadaily
gone lmao after she saw how disgusting her fans are she ran away
@yukafanclub
92.28.211.234
@kyokadaily
i know where i live bitch goddamn
@OrdoGuildWatch
According to an official report by Angels Guild, they accepted 150 new members with a majority fulfilling a supportive/backline capacity. However, they also mysteriously created “Special Task Force” whose members are unknown
@keterman
Look, all my followers know that I’ve never been a fan of Phenomena. I personally believe his decisions are based on his whims rather than rational thought, but what’s happening today is yet another whinefest from the lower Phenoms, lazily quoting Alzahrani like he’s gospel. We see this behavior repeated each time there is a new policy change or someone makes a big enough ruckus, believing the outcry is enough to attract his attention.
Believe me, *it will not*. He doesn’t care about anything other than his own research and if you want him to care, you’d better be Sophos herself.
@sophosthegenius
Another PS controversy? How boring. Wake me up if the old man dies
@phenomjustice
Hey @sophosthegenius you’re an insufferable bitch I hope you fucking kill yourself piece of shit
@sophosthegenius
Oh my~ Blocked~
@jakethebaker
god i love sophos so much i want her to glare down at me like i’m rotten trash and tell me i’m a stupid idiot who can’t amount to anything in life pls god plssssss
@sophosthegenius
oh.
@JohnsonASN
The shocking footage of a Chicago Shield has been circulating around the internet, brutally assaulting a homeless man well after he’d surrendered himself to law enforcement. Please be warned, the footage is quite graphic and necessary censoring was made.
@exitainment
Jun-hyeok has continuously been spotted with the youngest heir of Taeyang, Lee Yoon-ho, despite public backlash. Sources close to the two say they have a close friendship, but fans of the idol encourage him to cut ties due to Taeyang’s unsavory history.
@celest_empress
There was a photo of Celestial Empress mid-training session, wielding her signature [Twin Heavens].
This is my summer vacation!!!
@yingxihao
Die demonic bitch
@li01935
I will murder you and your entire cult
@alexshen
Your time will come.
@victor_sss
dude wtf
@uprisingyourmom
Working on a new song ???guess the title~
@victor_sss
“i drank 100 beers and now i’m in jail”
@alexshen
“i’m braindead and can only communicate through song”
@forestmaster
“i love my 10-meter tall dinosaur plushie that her roommate constantly trips over”
@uprisingyourmom
Don’t let the haters get to you ??
***
Looking Back on the Summer Scare
by Isabella Alvillar
Hey everyone, I apologize for my recent absence as of late. I suddenly came down with a bad cold, and admittedly, I’m still getting over it. Against the advice of my team, I’m determined to sit at my laptop and ramble about my thoughts regarding the Summer Scare. That’s the excuse I’m going with if this article gets criticized for the lack of polish.
Obviously, the Summer Scare was a terrifying week for Ordo. Terrifying for me, as I have close friends living in the city. It brought back fears of the Terrors or the Hangzhou Disaster, but fortunately, the storm has seemingly passed. Arguably, though, the breakthroughs took a backseat to the real conflict: the Ordoian Big Four against the Global Union.
The internationals immediately fixated on Angels and Wisdom Guild, believing they played a larger part in the catastrophe. Whether or not these claims are true is another conversation, but this was the foundation of their attack. If Seraph and Sophos truly did cause the Scare, either directly or indirectly, then the action would theoretically qualify as apocalyptic. There was a genuine possibility to remove the Union’s greatest thorns in one fell swoop.
But they put the cart before the horse. They brazenly chased after apocalyptic charges while ignoring everything else. As a result, they unlawfully arrested very influential Slayers like Celestial Empress, the niece of Cheonma. Rightfully, First Class Agent Cathal Dwyer and the judge who’d signed the forced teleportation warrant (his name escapes me) both stepped down from their position.
What does this mean for the long-run? Really, nothing. The internationals and Angels Guild will still hate each other, and the sword community will remain skeptical—or downright hostile—of the Union’s intentions.
As I reiterated a thousand times before, the Global Union has only one purpose: to shift the world from a collection of sovereignties to a one-state union. The biggest obstacle isn’t the democratic process; in other words, the people don’t matter. Rather, it’s the Slayers. If the Union does not have majority support of the Slayers, then they largely cannot implement their utopia without facing a literal world-ending war.
Personally, I would pay close attention to Angels Guild. According to insider sources, Seraph and Kosmos executively approved the creation of a “Special Task Force” whose roster is still unknown, though that may change in the coming days. This is another major action without the involvement of their Board of Operations. At this point, a major internal battle will eventually ignite within the guild, yet I expect nothing but a total victory for the Guild Masters.
Keep a close eye on Ordo, everyone. I think we’ll be seeing major developments soon. Call it a hunch.
***
TOP SECRET - TOP SECRET - TOP SECRET
Department of Homeworld Security
International Agency of Homeworld Investigations
Agent Gregor Dietrich - Criminal Systemic Division
WORK IN PROGRESS - WORK IN PROGRESS - WORK IN PROGRESS
Alexander Shen, Conqueror
Basic Information
Birth Name: Alexander Shen
Codename: Conqueror
Age and Sex: 23, M
Slayer Rank: D
Fabel Rank: Chronicle (Deep Arcana)
Employment: Prime Wing - Special Task Force, Angels Guild
Background
Alexander Shen was born to Bastien Romanos and Xingyu Shen in Hangzhou, China, where they would live for a couple years before moving to Massachusetts, USA. There, he would have a little sister by the name of Althea Shen. For most of his childhood and teenage years, he had a surprisingly normal life.
At seventeen, he and his family returned to Hangzhou for a family vacation. There, as everybody and their grandmothers know, the Hangzhou Disaster occurred. The tragedy rendered him and his sister orphans. They survived on their own for an extended period of time before being rescued by a Delta Force team accompanied by a MARSOC and OGSO operator.
After their rescue, their uncle, Alistair Romanos, took custody of them. Together, they moved to High Home, Maryland. Alexander attended Brightwater High School. What happened during his time in High Home literally changed the public’s outlook on guilds today: Oasisgate. I’ve already asked Murke if the kid was involved in the controversy or the Riots in any way, but other than being a victim of Reynold Serrano and ex-boyfriend of Juna Solace, there’s nothing. I’m convinced he played a larger role than we expect.
Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
Following Oasisgate, he applied to various colleges before receiving a full scholarship for Ordo University, enrolling as a business major. There, he quickly befriended students of its Systemic Programs (most notable: Li Chunhua, Mansyur “Victor” Taslim, and Okano Kotone) and became something of a local celebrity.
He graduated a semester early and worked in System Articles, before he reportedly brutalized four C-Ranks of Yoshita Guild and fractured Fujimura Kieta’s skull. After the scandal, he worked in OU as a part-time combat instructor on the weeks leading to 2XXX First Wave.
For what occurred during the Summer Scare, click on the damned link.
Today, he is a member of Angels Guild underneath the Special Task Force.
Character
Conqueror is a roguish man. He has a high distrust of anyone related to the Global Union (likely because of the fallout after Oasisgate), so I was assaulted with blanket threats and profanities. His aggressiveness isn’t unique to us. According to his peers, he constantly uses his tongue to get under people’s skins; however, this seems to be a shield for the true man underneath: a poor, traumatized bastard using his “sense of humor” as a coping mechanism.
Despite this, do not underestimate him. Conqueror is much smarter than he looks, if his degree isn’t an indicator already.
Intelligence isn’t his only card. He is a martial arts prodigy mentored by his parents and uncle. He possesses martial prowess far beyond most Slayers his bracket—beyond most Slayers period—making him a nightmare to confront in a one-v-one scenario.
We suspect he’s hiding a high-ranked [Skill]; to be specific, his weapon-creation [Skill] he used at the Warehouse. What [Rank] it is, we don’t know. We also believe he has deeper ties to the Jianghu due to his Chinese heritage.
Final Notes
I normally don’t make these big statements but Conqueror is potentially a bad problem. He may be starting out now, but he has the talent and discipline to grow at an alarming rate. What happens when he hits his prime? Only God knows.
***
[You have entered Angels Guild Public Channel #25]
[Volume]
Everyone is talking about the Special Task Force these days
Anyone know what’s up?
[Patchwork]
I think the board is trying to stir up drama
[Volume]
Obviously, but what about the Primes?
[Towerpierce]
idk i guess after the scare they wanted to create a special team
yall know anyone in it?
[Meadowstrider]
I think our GMs favorite people are in it
Firebrand, Empress, Sage
[Volume]
3 people isn’t a team
Who’s the rest?
[Towerpierce]
idk but i have something important to announce
can i have your attention yall
[Volume]
?
[Meadowstrider]
Sure
[Patchwork]
Oh no
[Towerpierce]
i saw a really hot cultivator and no it’s not empress
look!
[image attached]
[Meadowstrider]
You took a picture???
[Towerpierce]
bro i need people to appreciate her with me
green hair, curvy body, she has everything…
martial beauty…
i wanna be the leader of her sect
[Volume]
Would you say that if she’s right in front of you?
[Towerpierce]
yes
[Patchwork]
ignore towerpierce he’s always checking out the women
Idk why he doesn’t keep it to DMs. Everyone can read his messages
[Towerpierce]
i haven’t been fired yet
oh i also spotted a cute girl too
[image attached]
[Meadowstrider]
Who’s that?
[Towerpierce]
idk but she’s hella cute
white hair, really pretty blue eyes
i think she’s japanese
[Volume]
I think that’s a boy
[Meadowstrider]
Yeah, looks male to me
[Patchwork]
Definitely a dude
[Towerpierce]
shit
[Problem]
I wonder why you’re openly ogling your female colleagues.
[Towerpierce]
who is you
[Problem]
A lurker, but don’t worry, I already alerted your superiors about your comments.
[Towerpierce]
BRO WTF
[Patchwork]
What else did you expect lmao
[Towerpierce]
can’t have shit in ordo
***
[Angels Guild Private Channel - Special Task Force]
[Members: Rector (creator), Seraph (moderator), Kosmos (moderator), Celestial Empress (moderator), Sage, Firebrand, Problem, Victor, Amamizu Rei, Forest Master, Uprise, Conqueror, Shen]
[Conqueror]
Ever have this weird feeling that people are talking about us?
[Celestial Empress]
That’s because people are
[Problem]
Mhm
One of our colleagues decided to voice his interest in Chunhua and Rei.
[Uprise]
gasp
[Problem]
Did you just gasp in text?
[Uprise]
how dare that jerk creep on my chunhua
she’s mine and my 10-meter dinosaur plushie too!
only i can appreciate her beauty
[Amamizu Rei]
なんですって？
？？？
助けてください！
??? (>﹏<) ??
[Uprise]
check your language settings
you might be on auto-japanese
[Amamizu Rei]
Test
!!!
\(＾▽＾)/
If our colleague is interested in my kenjutsu, then I’ll be happy to show him!
[Problem]
Erm.
[Uprise]
oh
[Celestial Empress]
You’re explaining it to him Alex
[Conqueror]
Bitch
[Amamizu Rei]
???
[Conqueror]
Forget about it, he’s not interested in your kenjutsu
[Amamizu Rei]
But senpai said he was interested in me!
[Problem]
He thought you were a girl.
[Amamizu Rei]
Eh?
[Problem]
A female.
[Amamizu Rei]
EHHHHHHH
[Forest Master]
I just saw his messages. It seems I’m already gathering fans and I haven’t officially worked a single day. It’s only a matter of time before my popularity overtakes a certain murim-in.
[Celestial Empress]
Pardon?
[Forest Master]
It’s only natural that an orthodox cultivator is more popular than a demonic dog.
[Celestial Empress]
Those are fighting words ma’am
Have you forgotten my lineage?
[Forest Master]
Yes, a lineage of scum and filth proud that they live in the gutter. Proud of their wasteful, so-called “righteous” techniques of the strong. As for myself? I was taught the finest spear techniques by one of the greatest xias to walk the earth.
[Celestial Empress]
Orthodox bitches are often full of themselves
Until I put a blade against their throat and make them beg for their lives
[Forest Master]
On the contrary, you’ll be the one begging, cultist.
[Uprise]
??
[Conqueror]
Girls…
Stop fighting in the chat
[Firebrand]
hang on i wanna see this
[Sage]
Don’t encourage them Aiden!
We have to be responsible!
Kind!
Disciplined!
[Problem]
Says the girl who spends her paycheck on phone games.
[Sage]
I will eat you alive.
[Firebrand]
i wanna see that more
[Victor]
bruh wtf did i walk into
[Conqueror]
The cultivators are fighting, Chie wants to kill a child, and Rei is now a girl
[Amamizu Rei]
I AM NOT!!!!!
((╬◣﹏◢))
[Celestial Empress]
Fine, I guess Alex is reasonable for once
[Conqueror]
Thanks princess
[Celestial Empress]
??
I’ll just kill Chunhua later
[Conqueror]
motherfucker
[Forest Master]
Try me~
[Victor]
dude i’m trying to plan my angels acceptance party and my team is already fighting each other
i’m so fucked
[Conqueror]
Oh yeah definitely
[Victor]
at least try lying to me dude!
[Sage]
He started it!
[Forest Master]
Our clash was inevitable.
[Victor]
idk if you guys will meet my family but act normal
please
[Conqueror]
A weirdo begging other weirdos
In other news, I love my life
[Celestial Empress]
You think everyone is a weirdo regardless of what happens
[Conqueror]
You’re right
[Firebrand]
that’s rich coming from you
you’re the strangest one here
[Shen]
he’s even stranger
everyday i hear horrible chopping from the kitchen
i think he’s cutting up bodies
[Conqueror]
It’s called cooking you absolute dumbass
[Shen]
idk what that means
[Conqueror]
Because I’ve been cooking all your meals
[Celestial Empress]
Thanks for the good food Alex
[Conqueror]
And that one keeps crashing into our apartment to eat our food and sleep on the couch
[Shen]
whats wrong with that?
[Conqueror]
She has her own place
[Rector]
I saw a concerning amount of notifications only to find tomfoolery.
[Conqueror]
In our defense, the oldest member of the team is 25 and that’s only mentally
[Problem]
Hello.
[Rector]
How did this even happen?
Regardless, do *not* kill each other. You know who I’m talking about.
[Forest Master]
Is that right, Alex?
[Celestial Empress]
Keep your mementos to yourself, Alex
[Conqueror]
Fuck you both
[Start: Episode 1 - Farewell, Althea]
