I'm Back [Parody]
Sonic walks into the studio, hyped up.
Sonic: 'Sup, man! Let's get somethin' sung, yeah?
Joshua: Uh, hey?
Sonic: Cool! I was thinkin' about maybe doin' Kill You, or Marshall Mathers but use my name instead? Criminal maybe? What you think?
Joshua: Dude, where were you? You been gone for, like, weeks.
Sonic: Just, runnin' around. Writin' back my fans. You?
Joshua: Got stuck on some Naruto fic I been thinkin' about for years.
Sonic: You gonna put Me in there?
Joshua: What? No. It's a real story.
Sonic: Uh-huh. Mason in it?
Joshua: … That's beside the point.
Sonic: Ha Ha!!
Joshua: You sure you can still rap?
Sonic: You chokin' my scrotum like a dopin' dope who can't cope with all the coke he loaded in his nose? 'Course I can. I'm back and better than ever!
Joshua: … Maybe that's what the fans need to hear.
Sonic: *Smiles* I'm On It!!
The two get in the booth as Tails starts the music.
Sonic: They call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: They call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: Get skill in some rhymes while I'm killin' some time. Go wile on chimes with my wild new ride. He's a child named Clyde, and, don't worry, he just knows how to drive to Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. He's my Guy and a fine friend of mine, but more of a slave, like Dave the Knave who just came outta his grave with a wave to say, “Ay! Thanks for the rave the other day! It was better than the one yesterday! Want back yo bank card and 80K display?” I said, “Yes, today!”
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
Joshua: Back on the block, like when Tupac shot a glock at awesome cops. You cannot knock my factor to shock. If you want, you can block, but I'll unlock the lock and inject yo blood-clot with shlock. What'd yo mouth spout out loud now, cow? “I vow you just a jester who ain't half the man as Esther.” I know. The Lord blessed her, so I can't best her. Neither can I jest about who's best of the rest, sitting in my pool of cess. His name is Knuckles, sittin' next to my nest as I mess up these ten fold cuckolds who can suck up a thin bulge.
Knuckles: Thought this was a Game? Y'all just ran into yo Enders. All y'all ever create is complaints. Bigger pretenders than contenders. As we leavin' dents, y'all can't bend a fender in a fender bender. Call me Harvey Dent, or just a Two Face. Wasn't hardly meant t' put ya in you place. But, if I gotta, I'll merc it like Erick Sermon. Take yo generic virgin and surf it to make my perfect version. Ya cucks better know it ain't no Nerf gun. See Knucks on the street and skirt, run! And, that's why-
Sonic: They call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: They call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: This Eminem music is a poison apple to grapple in ya mandible. “This Snapple tastes crap, ugh!” But, I bit into it and I cannot remove it, but I can redo it-
Joshua: Better than half ya fan-fic writers alive! Don't mean to be snide, like that terrible, unbearable, DC director guy. But, what do I know? I ain't a professor. Ain't no perfecter. Just a dissector sitting aside of my lectern as I bisect her and make some conjecture. You just a projector, shootin' hate at my specter.
Sonic: You're Too Slow! My foe, my bro, my show ain't no clone. It's bad on its own two toes as I shown. Think I'd be better on the radio? Sensational vocation, speakin' to the nation, explainin' how I brain drain them. Don't get it, so go insane then. I'm goin' and breakin' to let these two tails shake in.
Tails: 'Sup, MTV? Getting sick of playin' Skibidi on repeat? Well, get rid, delete. 'Cause, we takin' over this beat. Yeah, I'm Back on the attack, so clear up ya rack and put my crap on that. Gimme flack without the slack else we smack and stack tacks on yo sack, Jack. Got a knack for bein' Bad, so when you me an' him doin' Eminem you think “He's Evil.” I say, at least we ain't Steve-O, who'll spine inject rando' needles just to scare mad old people. Don't really hurt. Just singin' words while flingin' turds at a couple of curs-
Joshua: Without feelin' the need to burst out a curse, or curse out a nurse, or nurse a baby nerd in a herd of other mothers, birds. Now, watch me churn as you yearn to earn half the skill I earned. Try, but you cannot sim Shady. Ain't no Slim Shady. Just seem dim, grating. Give you a skin shaving. That's why-
Sonic: They call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: They call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: Got this girl of mine and squirted a lime in her eye. Ask me why? I don't know! It worked for Briefcase Joe, the dough-faced schmo. But, his was aimed at a foe with an afro.
Marsh: You daft? No. You a dimmenin' Eminem without the demon in 'im. You just skimmin' 'im without knowin' it was a lemon, Slim!
Joshua: You done? Had your fun callin' my friend dumb 'til ya tongue went numb? He has enough scum when I'm the only one who slung.
Sonic: What's this now? Takin' a break from clownin' around to call Em out when the real him ain't here to shout aloud? Don't ya help me up when I'm down! Just shut it, 'cause we ain't about to bout without a doubt. Ain't no battle rap, rattled rat. Scat on that hat or cap of dapper brats. Diaper crap. Knack to act like I'm Bizarre. Like a risin' Star, I get Platinums. Instead of pumpin' up Chads, I'm cappin' 'em mad. And, everybody knows my name. Pain to gain. Choked nine dames. I'm insane. Click click clack. Rack that track. Grab that cash. Know I'm Back! That's why they call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back.
Sonic: That's why they call me Slim Speedy.
Joshua: I'm back. I'm back. Yo, you really meant all that?
The music cuts out.
Sonic: Do You mean it whenever you diss me on a song?
Joshua: You know I'm just playin'.
Sonic: Are you? Half the crap you say's true about me.
Joshua: You okay, man?
Sonic: … I'm gettin' a chili-dog.
Sonic walks away.
Sonic: Bum buh di duh. Da do dill bumpy... Full of myself, but I'm still hungry.
