I hit 700 followers in a week.
Somehow.
Possibly due to the cursed karaoke stream where I sang “My Heart Will Go On” in a demon voice while fighting a Minecraft goose.
[chat]
> WE’RE HERE FOR GOOSICAL THE MUSICAL
>700 MINIONS STRONG
>DROP THE MERCH
I was basking in my newfound fame (read: eating cold fries and vibing in front of my mic) when somebody knocked.
Again.
I blinked. “If that’s Krei with more vitamins, I swear—”
It wasn’t Krei.
It was worse.
It was my older sister, Akane.
Corporate job. Sharp bzer. That judgmental older-sibling aura so strong it could cut gss.
“Aoi,” she said, stepping inside like an IRS agent. “Mom said to come and check on you. Are you alive?”
I panicked.
I forgot to close OBS.
I forgot to mute my mic.
And I forgot that Ketsusaki—my demon VTuber persona—was still streaming in the background, screen full of “Welcome, minions!” and chat scrolling like a neon stock ticker.
“…What’s that?” she said, squinting at my monitor.
“Screensaver,” I said, too fast. “Meditation. For vibes.”
Ketsusaki’s voice echoed from the speakers.
“Welcome back to the ir, my degenerate disciples~!”
Akane blinked.
I blinked.
Chat exploded.
[chat]
> IS THAT YOUR MOM???
>SHE’S HOT
>CAN SHE BE THE FINAL BOSS
“You’re a… demon?” she said slowly.
“I’m a brand,” I replied, with the calm dignity of someone wearing pajama pants and surrounded by boba cups.
“You said you were freencing.”
“I am,” I said. “Freencing… as emotional support for terminally online goblins.”
She stared.
I stared back.
Ketsusaki burped on stream.
“Okay,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I’m going to pretend I walked into the wrong apartment. And you’re going to pretend you’re employed.”
“Deal,” I said. “Also, want to be a guest on Goose Kart tomorrow?”
She left.
I went back to stream.
“Alright, chat,” I said brightly, as if my soul hadn’t just died. “The demon queen returns! And today, we dodge family trauma and throw shells at birds.”
