“Please… You must talk to me, Verta.”

  Sister Carrie’s body was back in her room at the inn, but her soul was leaning against the door to Verta’s cottage in their shared world. The goddess had locked herself away since they left the Crimson Grotto. The singi could only hear a divine wail of profound sadness.

  She stayed there for an hour, but Verta’s despair had caused the surrounding flowers to wilt. The water streams turned brown and murky. The eternal sunshine wavered as time swapped to dusk. Sister Carrie didn’t want to leave, but her soul was forced back into her flesh.

  Her room seemed blurrier, but she bmed it on her tears.

  There must be something we can do…

  Sister Carrie stood, adjusted her habit, grabbed her spear, and left the inn. She wandered the paved streets without a destination in mind. Men called out to her, but she ignored them. Her feet led her to the orphanage homestead, where the night crew tolled hard. Mages used magic to create spotlights to illuminate the area. The fourth watchtower was fully complete. It looked more like a military installment than a pce to raise children.

  “It won’t be long…until I’m working here. Will I be alone, I wonder?”

  “Alone, Sister Carrie?” The nun recognized that low voice. She turned and saw a brassy blonde-haired human. “I thought we would be co-workers. Have you forgotten me already?”

  “No, I haven’t. Forgive me.”

  “Haha! I’m merely jesting, Sister.” Sister Carrie smiled. She hugged her spear, pying along. He said he had seen her walking and called out, but Adom became armed when she didn’t reply. “A friend in need is someone I cannot ignore. Pray tell, what’s bothering you? Does it concern the one you searched for?”

  “It does,” Sister Carrie admitted. For the briefest moment…she thought about telling Adom a false truth to get his advice—a story that didn’t matter to get help for something that did.

  But that didn’t work. The same curse Tobris pced on his sister affected Carrie. If she even began to inform anyone of the harsh game being pyed across the universe…not even Verta’s immortality would save the pair from total extermination

  “Are you okay? You look unsteady.”

  “It’s…difficult to discuss,” Sister Carrie forced. She adjusted her habit and wondered if a friend’s presence would be enough for her to figure out a path to success. “Have you had dinner?”

  “Unfortunately, I have, but I always have room for a drink or two. Shall we find a tavern?” Sister Carrie smiled and enjoyed the walk back to Canary. She wasn’t any closer to finding a solution when they came across a certain café once visited by the Primordial Goddess’s host.

  The food was cheap. The drinks and desserts were delicious as Carrie found her stresses melting away. She hadn’t felt like this in years.

  “What do you do when you can’t do anything?” she suddenly asked.

  “There is always something we can do,” Adom replied, nursing a cup of hot tea to his mouth. “The absence of choice is a choice in itself.”

  “Is it?”

  “Indeed, it is, Sister. A choice is an option. That is what you get when you break down its definition. Imagine it is a dead-end pathway. You may think you must walk down it, but what prevents you from turning around? What stops you from finding a new destination?”

  “Nothing?”

  Adom nodded. “Do not be afraid to reverse your steps. We always find new paths in the pages we write but do not become burdened by them. Use the knowledge to compose the next chapter of your life.”

  Sister Carrie pyed with her hair and giggled. “Are you sure you aren’t an author? You use books as metaphors more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “Let’s say the library holds a special pce in my heart. Experience has taught me that we cannot always look forward without remembering the trials I have overcome.”

  “Trials, huh? I suppose we all have them.”

  “That we do. Hmm—” Adom finished his drink and remained lost in thought until his friend broke him out of it. “You need not answer me, but… the one you sought. Do you know her well?”

  Sister Carrie’s eyes widened. She was more impressed than armed when she shook her head. She thought hard about how to reply in a way that wouldn’t activate the curse, but Adom continued.

  “It wouldn’t hurt to foster a friendship. First impressions are important, but there is always time for a second.”

  "Like books on a shelf, the first gnce at a cover may draw you in, but there's always time to explore the pages within, for second impressions can reveal the true story.” Sister Carrie smirked, but her eyes softened. She never expected to find someone like Adom.

  “I see you’ve taken after me, haha!”

  “Hehe!”

  The two shared a joyous ughter as the midnight oil burned. The conversation turned to the bck spear Sister Carrie always had with her, but she wasn’t ready to share the true story. She told the ythrin that her mother had bestowed it upon her before she perished—given the context, that wasn’t a lie.

  Sister Carrie’s namesake had been purchased to become a mother to her when she was still known as Vali… But those memories didn’t need to resurface. What good would come of it? Was there anything she could learn?

  No.

  She couldn’t.

  The restaurant had to close, so Adom escorted Carrie to her inn. She wished him a good night and promised to meet him at the homestead.

  “Pleasant dreams, Sister,” he said, walking away.

  Carrie locked the door to her room before sitting on the bed. She immediately checked on her goddess and found the cottage quiet. The door was unlocked, so she crept through the naturalistic living room, tiptoed up the stairs to the only bedroom, and cracked open the door. There, she saw her Verta curled into a ball on a bed of vermillion roses. Sister Carrie sat on the edge, one hand brushing her goddess’s soft hair.

  “This won’t be the end,” Sister Carrie whispered. “There are always more chances... I know... Wait… That’s it…” An epiphany hit the nun like a sack of bricks, but she didn’t know if it would work.

  [Lover’s Blossom] deepened the love between Itarr’s and the vixarian’s host, but couldn’t it also impart feelings? Could Verta manipute it as its creator? She didn’t have much power, but Sister Carrie believed there was something her goddess could do.

  Verta had once said her mother’s host and the vixarian candidate’s soul worlds should’ve perfectly merged, but what the nun saw didn’t make sense. The process was half-complete, but could the Goddess of Family and Love somehow...resume the process? Could she complete the merger, thereby fixing the paradoxical issues pguing Momo’s soul? The very errors Tobris instilled upon her? Given enough time... Perhaps the Primordial Goddess could solve things. She could even become adept enough to handle this without Verta’s help.

  That required time—time they all had—but time Itarr’s heart couldn’t handle. She was probably an emotional wreck. Maybe she was bming herself for everything.

  “This is what we must do. Verta, please... Listen to me...”

  *****

  *****

  Percival wasn’t happy when I spoke to him shortly after midnight. He asked how he was supposed to put in a good word for me if I kept quiet. Keeping secrets at this point of the investigation would only lower my chances. He stressed that I could be sentenced to prison if the crown considered me a threat.

  Or worse.

  Especially if I harbored knowledge that could put things at risk—as shown by a particur nun’s behavior. His threat was more than that.

  I didn’t want that. But he couldn’t know the truth. He was in a pissy mood when he went to bed, and Percival was still upset when he awoke for breakfast—no. He didn’t even stay for breakfast. He left immediately to report what had happened to the duchess before saying he’d meet me at the homestead. Nimyra knew what was going on from reading my phone.

  I thought about chasing after Carrie st night, but I decided to stay with Itarr since my goddess needed me. But when it was time to leave, she remained behind to stay with Momo, Albert, Olga, and Merka. Itarr had her feelings to work through. She didn’t trust herself to be calm if we encountered that traitor.

  “Please... Wake up... Momo...” Olga closed her eyes, praying as she grabbed Momo’s unmoving hand. The poor girl had been like this since she awoke. Merka didn’t want to leave her alone. He had a complex about being away from her—something I understood since he thought they had lost each other.

  We met Percival at the city gate, but he remained huffed with a chuff as we walked to the homestead. He seemed more focused on his thoughts than asking about Momo. Then again, I’d have said something if she somehow miraculously woke up.

  Carrie was already hard at work with a brassy blonde-haired man wearing frugal clothing.

  The foreman quickly delegated tasks, and the day went by quick. He asked where Itarr and Momo were, but I just said they wanted to take a break. It wasn’t like our boss could get angry. Because without us?

  We'd still be building the first watchtower.

  Percival apologized at lunch while eyeing Carrie from his peripheral vision. Her ears twitched whenever she heard my voice. She stole a few gnces and acted like she wanted to speak with me, but the nun never neared while we worked.

  It happened after we left for the night. She separated from that blond-haired human at the guild when we checked in and approached when Percival wasn’t near me. He had a few letters to deliver, so he posted a quest.

  “It concerns Momo,” Carrie whispered, looking over her shoulder at the guild’s door. We were outside. “I believe I—we can assist.”

  “How?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “I believe you don’t mean any harm if that’s what you’re asking. But I cannot deny my anger towards you-know-who. I despise traitors. It infuriates me that this…happened because of her. I almost want to... No. I won’t say that. I want Momo back.”

  Carrie winced. “You have every right to think like that, but please let us assist you. Verta… She wants to make amends.” It felt like the nun had more to say. Her throat constricted, but words refused to come from her lips. Did whatever Tobris did affect her? I asked, but she didn’t confirm or deny it, which told me what I needed to know. “How is it? Living…without memories?” she suddenly asked. “When Itarr manifested, how did you…”

  “Escape from my mind?” She nodded. The trap Tobris crafted for Momo affected me. “My worst moments aren’t what you think. Killing? Yeah, it showed me that, but I’m just fine with it,” I admitted. “I don’t know why. But I just am. I’m afraid of learning how I became this way. My mind may have forgotten what I endured, but whatever experiences I lived through still hardened me. It’s not easy. I sometimes feel like a monster. There are days I want to know the truth. And there are days I want to live in ignorance. I…don’t know which way I’m leaning right now. But I didn’t escape alone. We required Itarr’s help. She...connected our souls, I think. She tried to replicate the phenomena, but Momo’s still out.”

  “That’s understandable,” replied the nun. “I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll pray for you.”

  “Is that fine? Even with…” I didn’t want to finish it. Who would she pray to? The defector goddess? Her turncoat brother? The rest of the traitors? The universal existence I shared a soul with?

  Poppycock.

  That was what it was.

  But I didn’t say that. I couldn’t control what Carrie did. If she wanted to pray, I’d let her pray.

  Maybe it’d work.

  Maybe it’d be different.

  Percival emerged from the guild and sighed when he saw us.

  “Any more secrets you wish to keep from me?”

  “...”

  He sighed twice more. “I can’t force you to spill them. I said my piece this morning. Just know that I must include this in my next report to the duchess.”

  “I understand. Just try not to be too hard on me.”

  “I think I can manage that.” Carrie apologized, but Percival cracked a joke about how it was sinful behavior to make a woman of the faith bow her head in forgiveness.

  I texted Itarr on the way home. She called me, and I prepared myself for the worst, but she asked to speak to Carrie.

  I didn’t know what she said, but the singi was in tears when the call ended. And I knew it didn’t come from the people looking oddly at a woman talking into a weird device. Although a good portion of the city knew who I was. They had heard of a woman with a red ring and weird Skill Tablet, so maybe I was imagining the extra dozen eyes staring my way.

  Maybe I wasn’t…

  It was hard to tell. I knew there were gazes on me. I sometimes saw stalkers terrible at their roles, but I ignored them and allowed them to gather info because what else could I do? I had told Percival, and he said he’d tell the duchess, but that never eliminated the spies.

  Of course… A part of me believed it was my cynicism fring up. Was I purposely looking for trouble by gaslighting myself into forcing my mind to acknowledge what wasn’t there?

  I still felt lost. Not alone-- but uncertain because I still wasn’t even sure this personality was the one I had before I lost my memories. At this point...

  I’d be a separate Servi from who I used to be if the two were different.

  …

  That’s enough thinking like that, Servi. You don’t need to go back down this path. Not right now. And not alone. Remember your vow with Itarr and Momo... Tobris was probably full of shit.

  I shook my thoughts free as we reached the Crimson Grotto. Nimyra opened the door and welcomed us in. Fisher asked if he could be excused, and I told him he didn’t need to ask for permission. Spirit or not—he wasn’t obligated to obey my every word. He left. Carrie and I entered Momo’s room while Olga and Merka remained in the living room. Ni-Ni had gotten a few dolls for the young girl to py with. Her brother had also made little moving action figure-like golems to keep her occupied. Her eyes were still red, though. She had been crying for a while.

  My goddess jolted when she saw Carrie. She bit her lips and avoided eye contact. Albert raised an eye and looked at the nun.

  “I’ll remain here,” he said, crossing his legs. I nodded. I held hands with Carrie, Itarr, and Momo, and we delved into our soul world. My best friend was still lying near the fountain. Itarr had made her comfy with a soft mattress, fluffy pillows, and a warm bnket. Nyxaris and Victor stood guard near her.

  Verta manifested moments ter. She tried to reach for her mother, but the rainbow-eyed goddess yanked her hand back almost immediately.

  “Stop it,” Itarr demanded, her voice a low growl. “You don’t deserve to cry. Not after what you’ve done.”

  “Yes… Forgive me—”

  “No. There will not be any forgiveness. Not now or ever!” snapped my goddess. “There will never be any. Servi said you can help Momo. Hurry up. Do it!”

  I didn’t scold Itarr. Denying her emotions would be the same as prociming they needed to be cut off at the source. It probably wasn’t the healthiest.

  I didn’t care.

  Did I used to care? Before...

  Verta approached Momo and forced her tears back. She gently cradled my best friend’s hands while reaching for mine. I took it. Then Itarr completed the chain.

  Verta spoke a chant I couldn’t understand for fifteen minutes. I thought this was a dead end, but…

  The foggy haze cdding Momo’s soul world thinned. It shivered, though—almost as if it cried. Tears fell from the isnd’s sunny skies as they cshed with Itarr’s ominous heavens. Our soul world became unsteady. Grand, fearsome quakes surged through the isnd as the sea split apart.

  Then the glow arrived, heralding from an unknown, familiar darkness. Pink light radiated from Momo’s chest, and a crimson fsh erupted from my heart. The lights swallowed us, leaving Carrie as the only straggler.

  It didn’t hurt.

  It felt…

  …so warm.

  RuggyRuggy