The day started like any other. Birds chirping. Sun shining. Ji Xing trying to convince Ji Yuxi that chocote cookies were a banced breakfast.

  Then, Ji Yuxi's water broke in the middle of the living room.

  It was not elegant.It was not cinematic.It was just… very wet.

  And loud.

  “THAT INJURED BEAST, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BEAST, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

  Ji Yuxi was screaming before anyone could even grab a towel.

  By the time they got to the hospital, Ji Yuxi was ready to murder someone. Preferably the father of the twins.

  “DON’T JUST STAND THERE, YOU USELESS WHITE-COAT ZOMBIES! DO SOMETHING!”

  The poor nurse who had only been on duty for 4 hours and 3 caffeine shots trembled slightly and pressed a panic button she wasn’t even sure existed.

  “Sir, please breathe…” the doctor said calmly.

  Ji Yuxi shot him a gre so intense it could’ve caused pnetary colpse.

  “I AM BREATHING! YOU THINK I’M SHOUTING WITH MY KIDNEYS?!”

  The nurse tried to help him sit.

  “DON’T TOUCH ME."

  Meanwhile, in the hallway, Xiao Yu was pacing like a panicked chicken.

  The muffled sounds of Ji Yuxi screaming echoed through the hallway like a haunted opera.

  “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! THAT BEAST, YOU CURSED MUSCLE MAN, GET ME A TIME MACHINE SO I CAN KICK YOUR PELVIS!”

  Xiao Yu clutched his head.

  Gu Xin stood beside him calmly, holding a water bottle.

  “Should we go in?” he asked.

  Xiao Yu slowly turned, grabbed Gu Xin by the colr, and hissed,

  “We are NEVER having children.”

  Gu Xin blinked.

  Xiao Yu’s eyes narrowed. “I’m serious. If I even sneeze suspiciously, we’re getting me scanned.”

  Gu Xin awkwardly chuckled and, very smoothly, slid a folded piece of paper deeper into his pocket.

  “Of course. Totally agree. Children? Overrated.”

  The paper?A pregnancy potential report he got from the doctor earlier.With Xiao Yu’s name on it.Saying "High Compatibility for Guide-Type Reproduction."

  He would burn it ter. Maybe.

  Ji Yuxi was clinging to the hospital bed like it had personally betrayed him.

  “I SWEAR IF I SURVIVE THIS, I’M WRITING A NOVEL CALLED ‘THE PAINS OF CHILDBIRTH’ AND KILLING OFF EVERY MALE CHARACTER!”

  The doctor, sweating profusely, replied, “The babies are almost here!”

  Ji Yuxi threw a pillow at him. “THEN STOP TALKING AND GET THEM OUT!”

  The nurse whispered, “He’s a bit aggressive…”

  “DO I LOOK AGGRESSIVE TO YOU?!”

  Everyone in the room: (Nods quietly while trying not to cry)

  Back outside, Xiao Yu was now pacing so fast he was developing a groove in the hospital floor.

  “Should I call someone? Should I bring snacks? Do babies like snacks?!”

  Gu Xin pced a hand on his shoulder. “They’ll be fine.”

  Xiao Yu stared at him like he was an alien. “He’s screaming about time travel! He just threatened to name one of the babies ‘Regret!’”

  Gu Xin blinked. “He’ll probably change his mind ter.”

  “He also called you a walking disaster and said you owed him a spaceship.”

  “That… might be true.”

  After two hours of screaming, cursing, and nearly biting a nurse (he apologized… kind of), Ji Yuxi finally quieted down.

  Because the room echoed with the first cries of not one, but two tiny babies.

  One had a head full of fluffy bck hair. The other had none, but an impressive scowl already.

  Ji Yuxi, drenched in sweat, held them both with shaky arms and whispered, “You better both grow up to be rich and take care of me.”

  Xiao Yu and Gu Xin entered the room cautiously, like soldiers entering a warzone post-battle.

  Ji Yuxi looked at them with tears in his eyes.

  “Look… they have my nose… and my natural ability to cause chaos.”

  Xiao Yu sighed in relief. “You’re okay.”

  Gu Xin leaned closer. “You did great.”

  Ji Yuxi smirked, exhausted but proud. “Next time, one of you is doing this.”

  Gu Xin and Xiao Yu: “…No thanks.”

  Ji Yuxi id back, babies tucked beside him, victorious.

  Xiao Yu flopped onto the nearby couch, still traumatized.

  Gu Xin took the pregnancy report out of his pocket, stared at it… and then ate it.

  Xiao Yu watched him. “What was that?”

  “Fiber.”

  Xiao Yu rolled his eyes, "Just eat the fruit, it's expensive, don't waste it."

  The twin boys were barely two days old when Ji Yuxi, in a very official and overly dramatic ceremony involving a silk robe, a breakfast of expensive cereal, and a mildly concerned Xiao Yu, finally decred their names.

  Holding one chubby little baby in each arm, he cleared his throat and said, “Their names shall be... Ji Xiyue and Ji Xiyang.”

  Xiao Yu blinked. “You named them moon and sun?”

  Ji Yuxi nodded wisely. “Because parenting them will be day and night suffering.”

  Gu Xin raised an eyebrow. “That’s oddly poetic. And dramatic.”

  “Thank you. I’m sleep-deprived and leaking from multiple pces. Let me have this moment.”

  Ji Xiyue—the Guide—was sweet from the start. A tiny bundle of peace and sleepy sighs, he liked holding onto people’s fingers and giving his best attempt at looking wise while being only a few days old.

  Ji Xiyang—the Esper—was a different story. He was born scowling, and his lungs worked too well. He already had a habit of kicking off his bnkets like he had a personal vendetta against warmth.

  Both had thick bck hair like Ji Yuxi’s, but instead of his pale purple eyes, they had inherited something else entirely:

  Bright red eyes.

  “Where the heck did that come from?” Ji Yuxi muttered, squinting at them.

  Gu Xin coughed and looked away.

  Xiao Yu cleared his throat. “Might be a rare recessive gene.”

  “Or alien magic,” Ji Yuxi added. “I don’t know what goes on in these wombs anymore.”

  Gu Xin:...There exist another father of the babies right? Why can't these traits be his???

  Ji Xing was ecstatic.

  She had decred herself “Senior Sibling Commander”, and went around inspecting her baby brothers daily.

  “This one is too wrinkly. He needs lotion,” she would say about Yue.

  “And this one keeps gring at me. He needs a pacifier and attitude adjustment,” she said about Yang.

  Still, she was unbelievably sweet with them. She’d sing little off-key songs, try to help with feeding (mostly spilling things), and even gave each baby a teddy bear.

  “Papa,” she asked one evening, crawling into Ji Yuxi’s p, “can I have five more brothers?”

  Ji Yuxi, eyes twitching from ck of sleep, replied ftly, “Absolutely not.”

  -

  Xiao Yu had gone in for a routine check-up after some mild queasiness, and the doctor had casually informed him:

  “Congratutions! You’re two months pregnant!”

  Xiao Yu stared. “I’m… what now?”

  The doctor handed him the scan. There was no denying it. A tiny, peanut-shaped baby blob was floating happily in his belly.

  He left the clinic in a stunned daze and found Gu Xin waiting outside, cheerfully eating a meat bun.

  Xiao Yu approached him with a calm, level tone and said:

  “You. Got. Me. Pregnant.”

  Gu Xin froze mid-bite. “...It was a dual effort?”

  “TWO. MONTHS. AGO.”

  Gu Xin stared into space as calcutions ran behind his blue eyes. Then slowly, very slowly, he knelt on the sidewalk.

  And stayed there.

  All night.

  Ji Yuxi, now somehow functioning on three hours of sleep and caffeine-fueled determination, came into the living room bancing:

  A baby in one arm

  A novel draft in the other

  Ji Xing on his leg like a fashionable toddler-boot

  And he froze when he saw Gu Xin still kneeling on the floor.

  “…What happened to him?” Ji Yuxi asked.

  Xiao Yu sighed and muttered, “He got me pregnant.”

  Ji Yuxi blinked once. Twice. Then slowly set the baby down in a crib, handed his manuscript to Ji Xing (who immediately scribbled on it), and walked up to Xiao Yu.

  “I see.”

  He nodded with solemn gravitas.

  “Congratutions.”

  Xiao Yu blinked. “...Really?”

  Then Ji Yuxi pulled out a basket of ten apples.

  Expensive. Shiny. Probably kissed by starlight or something.

  “For fertility,” he added with a straight face.

  Later that night, Xiao Yu stared at the apples lined up on the counter.

  “Ten apples.”

  “Yep,” Ji Yuxi said while rocking Ji Xiyang, who was squawking like a tiny angry pigeon. “Imported. Fancy. I expect you to eat all of them.”

  “What are they supposed to do? Make my baby a genius?”

  “Hopefully. Or maybe they’ll just keep Gu Xin from trying again too soon.”

  From across the room, Gu Xin smiled innocently. “I can wait. But I’m aiming for a full baseball team someday.”

  Xiao Yu turned pale. “You’re banned from touching me without a permission slip.”

  The house, now blessed with two baby boys, one sassy big sister, one sleep-deprived novelist, a glowing but nervous Guide-husband, and one terrifyingly calm Esper, was full of ughter, noise, and constant diaper changes.

  Ji Yuxi might’ve been tired, cranky, and slightly sticky at all times… but when he looked around, he realized something important.

  He cks a partner...well he don't need one.