- If it’s on the news, it’s real enough.

  - Radios don’t lie (but DJs might).

  - Wikipedia is free, updated, and occasionally accurate.

  - wikiHow will teach you everything… except how to stop crying... Oh shit, they do.

  - When people run, don’t ask why. Just run first, ask later.

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  I used to think the internet was ruining people’s attention spans. Now? It’s the only reason I’m alive.

  Everyone says “don’t believe everything you read online.” Okay, but I’d be dead without an article titled “How to Barricade a Door Using Household Items.”

  The apocalypse didn’t start with explosions or chaos. It started with memes. Then hashtags. Then TikToks of people getting bit and turning mid-dance. And we laughed. Oh god, we laughed.

  I should’ve listened sooner.

  I was scrolling Twitter on the toilet when the end of the world began. Hashtags like #FluWithTeeth and #ZombieChallenge were trending. I thought it was a hoax. Some viral campaign. People always bit each other during pranks.

  Then my cousin forwarded me a livestream: a blurry feed of someone foaming at the mouth, chasing a government official up a palm tree.

  I laughed. I thought it was funny.

  Then I stopped.

  It wasn't funny when I turned to the news.

  Emergency broadcasts. Warnings. A flashing banner: “Stay indoors. Do not engage the infected. Repeat: do not engage.”

  I opened ten tabs.

  One on zombie viruses.

  One on how pandemics spread.

  Two on how to build a makeshift spear.

  One on how to survive without WiFi.

  (The last one was unhelpful and suggested “read a book.”)

  By the time the power flickered, I had already filled three notebooks with advice, plans, and questions.

  I didn’t have a gun.

  I didn’t have a car.

  But I had knowledge—and duct tape.

  And I thought, that was enough for Day One.