Entry Three

  We Are So Screwed

  I recited the small chant to myself once again. I never considered myself a religious person and I wasn’t particularly receptive to any of it really. I wouldn’t even consider myself superstitious, maybe a little stitious. I mean I believed in the Mothman because it was fun, but also he’s totally real. I believed if I thought hard enough I could travel to different realms, just like that lovely trend on Tiktok. Not this realm, obviously, but like a safe one. Like Middle Earth after the ring is destroyed. Something like that. I believed in aliens and ghosts for sure. If ghosts are real, then we don’t end and if we don’t end then we go on forever and ever. We keep on going on and our consciousness is always around. We will never be nothing. In some panic filled moment, I ended up in the last world I wanted to be in. I wasn’t a ghost but I was about to die and become nothing. Again. The one world that could possibly let me live without ever showing me if nothing existed while also being the place that would throw me into the most dangerous situations.

  “Dear God- Icerion… I don’t want it,” I whispered to myself. “All those times I wished for silence, forget it. Not anymore. Let me live and I will declare myself a knight to your cause or some shit like that. Don’t let me only have sex with one person.” She laughed. “It’s a real concern. And yes, I know it’s not very brave.”

  “Bravery has nothing to do with it.” She chuckled again. “I just find it amusing that so much of our lives are spent waiting for things. The moment we get them, they are never as good as we thought. So, we want for the next and the next… Also, one person? I thought you were twenty.”

  “That’s not abnormal.”

  The cuffs rubbed against my wrists. Rings of irritations encased them. I could almost see the red. I tried to move. I tried to roll the feel back into my hands. It was basically for nothing and I gave up eventually like I do with most things. I let them hang down in my lap. People think it’s easy to give up but I don’t think so. It takes balls- Also why do we say something takes balls… I’m going to start a new trend. It takes boobs. They’re much more lovely. Anyway, sometimes giving up is just as hard, if not harder. It’s hard to resign yourself to your fate but you do it because the world sucks. I resigned myself. Morgan said to wait. Yes, ma’am. I waited while brushing Shadow’s fur with my knuckles. The softness brought some comfort.

  Time passed and I was left with my thoughts (Unfortunately). Maybe if I could see, I would’ve interacted with Morgan more than I did. One would think impending death would make you more talkative. You expect to have so much to say but all I could really focus on was the shit smelling bag that kept brushing up against my nose. With knots in my stomach, thoughts of what occurred after hit me. At least it distracted me from the ache in my chest. The sharp pains of my new scars faded into the back of my mind. I liked to believe in a better place. A better place where my dead pets and relatives lived. If I truly believed they were there, then I could believe I could go there, right? I’m a monster. I’m going to be nothing.

  I had a general consensus that killing was bad. I always believed if someone was defending themselves or killed their abuser it was okay. That shit took guts. I thought I couldn’t do it for so long. I was too afraid… I snapped. She turned me into a monster. I killed her and those strangers. I was going to hell, or worse. Nothing. I would just cease to exist. One day I had thoughts and the next nothing.

  I tried to squint and peer through the bag. Stray flecks of light poked through the thin burlap. I strained my eyes until they hurt. A migraine rose as I searched for any outline of Morgan. Her shadow pressed into the corner of the carriage. I adjusted myself so I was facing her as best I could. The cold, refreshing wind muffled any noise of crunching snow or the low chatter of our kidnappers. Glowing eyes pierced through the fabric back at me. I jolted for a second and remained on the edge of my seat until the glow softened. I shook my head. Remember, she’s a witch, those things are normal for her.

  “Morgan, if you can’t get your magic up, that’s okay. There’s pills for that- But it could just be meant to be.” I choked down my own chuckle.

  “Do you really believe that? In destiny? ” Her voice laced with venom. She prepared to strike if I gave the wrong answer. I craved the negativity.

  “No, actually I don’t… Kinda depressing to think I have no control over my life. I just don’t wanna fucking die. But- I guess just because I don’t believe in something doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

  “Well, if I do not believe in something then it is wrong. Clear, Ears.” I shivered.

  “Yes, Princess.” I saluted her as best I could.

  “I have determined we will not die. I declare it and therefore it is fact.”

  “I don’t think-”

  Rough wood scraped up my stomach. My head bounced off the floor rather comically. I groaned and rolled over onto my back. Luckily, I was able to do the bare minimum of a sit up. Morgan, meanwhile, cursed beside my feet. Shadow growled viciously from whatever corner he smashed into. The air paused, completely still. The wheels stopped spinning. An itch crawled up my spine. The hair along my arms straightened out. I struggled up and tumbled to the side. I caught the edge with my forearms. I leaned over the carriage and squinted. Through the brown fuzz, the world remained hidden. The men grunted and hit the ground. Their boots crunched on top of the snow as they traveled to the horses.

  “Shit! Mal, we hit a little one!”

  “Get in the car-” A scream sent shivers along my skin.

  I stumbled back. A freezing hand steadied me with a tight grip on my shoulder. A second hand held the small of my back. Light blinded me. The bag fell onto the ground as I blinked furiously. Dull, aching pain rested in the corners of my eyes. As I adjusted, the pine forest made itself clear once more. I realized Morgan and I were pressed up against one another. My blood boiled as I resisted the chaos of my insides. I turned, her eyes shot wide open. Her bottom lip shook. Her brow furrowed as she glared to the front, beyond the horses. I followed her gaze and fell. I twitched and slipped over the side. My back snapped off the ground. Millions of bruises formed along my spine.

  “Where’s-” Another screech shook the ground.

  I rolled onto my stomach and used my cuffed palms to help push me up. The snow crunched beneath my shoes. My hair remained rigid and on edge. I attempted to walk forward with firm confidence. It all gave way when the compact powder turned into an icy pool of red. I gasped out. Flashes of the night before raced in my mind. Each competing with the next one which was to be declared most gruesome. I gasped out. I gripped onto the sides of the carriage, unable to breath as my lungs tightened. Shakes set in my feet, traveling up my core. My head turned fuzzy. Forward, not back. I moved there yet felt the urge to run away. I slipped in red, catching myself on the carriage. I hissed as a splinter slipped itself beneath my palm.

  The large black Shire horse that had pulled us grunted. His fluffy hooves pounded on the ground, signaling a warning to whatever was in front of him. It shrieked again. My mouth turned dry as leathery wings stretched into the air extending far above the horse's head. It circled around him. Wooden needles broke off into my fingertips. Gray feathers planted themselves firmly across tight charcoal skin. Scales cracked across its body reminiscent of charred meat. A tail similar to a tentacle slapped around in the air. Built thicker and larger than a horse, it moved with determination. The predator hunched its muscular legs. One raised showing off five knife pointed claws. Sunlight bounced off the black surface. The tips dripped red with blood. It slammed down into the pool with a sound that rumbled around my stomach. A metal hand pulled itself forward. The soldier fought against his own innards. I moved back. My hands raised themselves as her cried for help. The horses stomped again. It screamed. It was filled with more agony than the soldier’s cry. I could have cried. Its jaw unlocked, falling open, spreading its drenched, dripping beak.

  “Larken!” Morgan jumped to my side. I choked down air. “Ears, stay behind me.” Her tone gave me no room to fight but I did. I stayed firm in front. Cuffs meant no magic.

  “What the fuck is a Larken?”

  “It is that.”

  “No shit, Princess!”

  “Just- Do not let it bite you!”

  Morgan dropped the hand I didn't even notice she was gripping. I swallowed. She raised both of her palms, still cuffed. The air became static. A storm approached yet the sky remained clear. Energy spilled from her. It pebbled across her skin. Smoke escaped from her palms. With the odds against her, she did not perform. Her jaw dropped as the energy disappeared. In a split second, I grabbed the lantern from the front and tossed it at the bird of prey. My blood boiled and froze all at the same time. It released another deafening shriek. Its wings flapped. The air hit me with a strong sting. I fell beside Morgan. Unharmed, it flew away. A clap followed its wings periodically as it disappeared.

  “Two questions,” I said, looking over at her.

  “Two answers.”

  “One: The fuck was that? Is it gonna die? I’m not a big animal killer personally… Two: Did you not realize cuffs prevented magic?”

  “That is three questions.”

  “I’m bad at math.”

  “I am not surprised. As for your answers, it will live. It takes a lot more than fire from an oil lamp to kill one.” She grabbed my head in a strange act of kindness. She brought it closer to hers. The cold metal felt nice against my skin. My heart flipped three times. “It did not touch you, right?” She surveyed my arms and chest. Her cold fingers razed my stomach. I unconsciously sucked in. “You look good.” Her breath turned uneven.

  “Is it venomous?” I choked out.

  “It will turn you into something just like it… It mirrors Shifters in that sense.” She dropped me and stepped away. “Not that I would mind some alone time.”

  “Help…”

  His hand wrapped around my ankle. Freezing, just like Morgan’s. It chilled my clustering insides. Warmth escaped rapidly from his eyes as they turned into hollow pale husks. Blood spilled from his gaping chest, pumping like falls. His armor that encased had split open like a can. The veins traveling up his neck blackened. Unable to process, I looped my hands under one of his arms and lifted.

  “Ears, we cannot help.” I ignored her and dragged him to the carriage. “Carter!” He cried out black tears.

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  “We can’t just leave them to die!”

  “Fuck! Fucking fuck Fringe!” She cursed as I attempted to lift the man into the back. “I will not help you. This is beyond stupid.” I grunted and used all my might. His upper half slumped forward creating three hundred pounds of dead weight for me. I kept lifting and lifting. Morgan internally debated with herself and resigned to silence. See grabbed his other shoulder and lifted. “I want you to know I am in charge after this point.”

  “Yes, ma’am!” I saluted her once we set the body in the carriage. Quickly, I set my sights on the next body.

  “Crystal, Ears?”

  “Clear, Princess!”

  “I would like to interject! For once, I agree with the witch! This is not a good idea!”

  “We have to do something! I won’t leave them!”

  “Morgan, tell her they can’t be helped!”

  “They are dead.” She huffed. “Their souls are either being infected to live life as something else on this plane or are just disappearing to the next.”

  I got my way in the end. With the soldiers in the back, Morgan explored their pockets and pulled out a silver key. She released me. Immediately, I rubbed my raw wrists and groaned at the irritated red bubbles. Morgan waited patiently. Like an idiot, it took me way too long to grab the key and figure out a way to turn it. Her catlike gaze watched. Sweat and anxiety rolled off of me until I finally heard the click. I scooped the cuffs up and tried my best to be gentle as I peeled them off her. She chuckled. I raised a brow. The handcuffs still sat heavy in my hands. Her fire filled eyes scanned me. Even though I was taller, I found her looking down at me.

  “Normally, someone else takes the cuffs off,” I joked poorly. “I’m more of a you point and I act kinda gal.”

  “Then, do not worry, Ears. I will handle that job from here on out. Now, sit.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I dove head first into the freezing water. The chill traveled into my heart, slowing its quick pace. Hard bumps scattered across me like the stones beneath the surface. I remained beneath the water. I held my breath for as long as I could. Half a minute passed, I shot up. I inhaled deeply. Ice filled my lungs. I ran a hand through my messy hair pushing it out of my face. The quiet stream flowed softly around my naked body. I let out a content sigh. Once I cracked my neck, I dove under again.

  The more time I spent in the water, the more at peace I became. I peeked out at the blue world and swam around, intent on exploring every inch. I brushed the top of agates and floated along the edges of granite. Plants sprouted up from the muddy patches. They swayed to the side following the slow current. I turned onto my back. The sky blurred above. Green patches of mush made up the trees just on the other side of the vale. I should stay here forever. The cold calmed my hyperactive body. It relaxed my tense nerves and made the ache that followed me around numb. All the sweat, grime, and blood washed away. I came to the surface once more and smiled widely. The water made it all seem normal. I splashed water onto my face. Relax.

  I stared at myself in the water. I furrowed my brow. My smile twisted into a frown. Some scars slashed down my body. I touched one gently. Instead of stinging, it felt hot against my fingers. I had been ripped apart and put back together. I had to get over it and deal with what she had done to me. My hands wandered to my torso. I had stretch marks around my waist alongside some moles. What would my family think? I brought my hand up to my chest. The thickest scar had been there the longest. It resided near the left of my chest. The discolored rough skin darkened every day. Would they still love me if I showed them? Blood filled my face. I squished my eyes together. I placed my palms on the top of my head and gripped. I sucked in a tight breath and exhaled slowly. A breeze cooled my overheated cheeks. I took another dunk to numb everything.

  “I always knew the Kalpea were weird. Are you not freezing, Ears?” I jumped out of the cold. I shot my arms around my chest. Sheepishly, I turned around and saw Morgan. Red instantly covered my features all the way to the tips of my ears. She just laughed at me while I attempted to hide beneath the surface. The clear water had turned muddy and dark from the blood of the soldiers and those from the night before. “I have seen more naked women than I can count.” I raised my brow and opened my mouth slightly. I guess I’d rather think about her sex life. “I am here to rinse off and nothing more. Though, that does not mean I do not appreciate the sight. Despite your obvious flaws, I find your features rather… Delectable.”

  “Is it your mission to be a jackass?” I snapped.

  Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. She stared back at me. For a moment, Morgan cocked her head. Something behind her eyes softened.

  “I- Yes but- I am sorry. I did not mean- Well, I did but not truly.”

  “It’s fine,” I spoke sharply. ‘Just, keep your comments about my body to yourself. I don’t need another person making judgments. I already give it enough myself.”

  “But- You are gorgeous. I mean- Ugh! You just are.”

  “I said it’s fine… Thank you.” I hid my blush. She is such a bitch.

  She nodded and began to wave her delicate hands over the water. The freezing stream began to warm. It sent even more goosebumps over me. In a good way, I shook. A pleasant shiver ran down my spine. Eventually, it reached the point where I started to sweat. I moved a couple of feet away trying to find a part where her magic didn’t reach. Once Morgan was satisfied, she stripped completely and climbed in. I looked away quickly trying to hide the flushness on my face. She splashed. My head shot over and I was met with a smirk which only made me turn a deeper shade of red. She dove under. Seconds later, she popped up throwing her head back. Oh my God. She’s trying to kill me. She? She thinks I’m gorgeous. My heart jolted. My stomach jumped. I felt hot. My lower stomach turned.

  She didn’t look like a Princess either, just sounded like one, a snobby one. The stereotypical ones, I mean, or even the tomboyish ones. She was her own breed. It intimidated me. She tucked a strand of her short raven hair behind her ear. It only reached her chin with an undercut to finish it off. Her angry blue stormy eyes watched my motions carefully like a hawk stalking a field mouse. I fixated on her slightly bigger nose. It was crooked at the center of her heart shaped face. She leaned back against the bank. The snow contrasted her tan skin greatly. Her perfect teeth bit her lower red lip. Her right brow raised at me. A scar ran through it leaving a tiny notch. A silver piercing matched the spot on her left brow, mirroring my own on the right. Blue stars hung down from her ears and chains hung down from the tops of them. I kept staring, unable to tear myself away. Tattoos shocked her arms and spread across her stomach. One traveled like a spiral up her neck until it tightened like a choker below her chin. I gulped as she lifted herself from the bank and approached. If Morgan wanted to kill me, she easily could have. She was muscular and it showed in every step she took. Confidence exuded from her. She wasn’t a princess. She sure as hell wasn’t a Disney princess. Or even a Game of Thrones princess. She was like a Queen. She looked like an Empress. If I knew the Heir was her, I would’ve paid attention to politics more.

  “Ears… I really am sorry.” I jolted. “Are you okay? What are you thinking about?” The way she looked at me, I could swear she was reading my mind.

  “TV shows and video games.” My nose flared. Her dark gaze lightened.

  “I read about them.” She circled around me. Her finger trailed the water. “I find it fascinating. The pictures project like a vision onto a screen. It is like a moving picture book.”

  “Yeah! That’s it!” I smiled and followed her with my eyes. “My favorite genre has always been fantasy. I love books, movies, tv shows, and video games. It’s pretty similar to here which is awesome!” I refrained from mentioning the dying soldiers being guarded by Shadow just a short hike away.

  “Someone like you would delve into fake worlds.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “You should.” She smiled devilishly. “I have read some but I prefer more logical readings.” I raised my brow and just stared at her. She sank down to her knees until the water brushed her chin. “I enjoyed Dune. I found it very intriguing especially since it takes place in space. It is absolutely amazing. I have always wanted to go to the stars. Star-Walkers are fascinating creatures.” Aliens?

  “I love Dune! The first book was perfect!”

  “I heard from someone that there is a new movie. Is that true? Have you seen it?”

  “There are two actually and a third one’s coming out. One was made in the 1980’s so the special effects are super cheesy but that just makes it even more amazing.” A light laugh escaped. “The latest one was awesome, though. I watched it like five times! The second one is even better!”

  “Too bad you are here.” Her eyes narrowed and she gave me a soft frown. Instead of her normal snipe, she actually sounded sorry for me. I shrugged it off. Probably a miscalculation in her program.

  “You could come with me!” Dumbass. “Like- you can visit and yeah.” Mean women are sexy and I am going to hell. I scratched the back of my head. “We could watch movies together or something.”

  “Oh-” She froze. “Yes.” A small smile formed. It was actually rather soft and sweet. “I think that sounds like a lovely future. First, we need to figure out how to get you back. I have been trying to recreate the energy I had before but I keep… It just takes a minute. I made two Portals! Most cannot even make one in their entire lives! I made two!” Her scowl returned. “It is annoying beyond the point of recognition. It is like I am spent. I can barely boil the stupid river!” She hit the water.

  “I don’t know. I think warming up this water was a pretty big accomplishment.”

  “Oh- Thank you-” Her lip twitched- “But I have done so much more. These last couple of weeks have required so much. For a moment, I feared I would not have any left.” She glared at her own reflection. She scrunched up her nose. “This has never happened to me.” Her neck and knuckles cracked. “I mean- I will be stronger than ever. I am stronger than ever!” She shifted uncomfortably in the water.

  “I believe you, Princess. Even if your timing isn’t always perfect like with those kidnappers and such…” She splashed me. “I’d ask about it but I have a feeling you’d shut me down.”

  “You are correct, Ears.”

  “As a master of rotting in bed and dissociating, I think I can help take your mind off things.” I flicked some water back at her. “I have some books and my laptop with some games downloaded on it. Plus a solar charger always gotta be prepared.”

  “You would let me touch your things?”

  “You were wearing my clothes.”

  “Oh- Yes…”

  The soldiers groaned about the war as they tried to keep themselves alive, and awake. I somehow managed to come back at the perfect time. Norkden lay on the border of Kapina, an independent country of Elves. It all went to shit about twenty years ago during The Betrayal so the fighting wasn’t all that new but apparently, Kapina’s gained some ground at Blood Pool. It had everyone scared. The Betrayal itself was all but a sour memory. The King of Kapina, Luka Snow-Star, was a member of the continent's hero group, The Mighty. There was a fight between him and his friend, King Fredrick of Norkden, and so Luka gathered his soldiers. He attacked the Mighty on the border and there had been war ever since. Two of the Mighty died, King Frederick barely made it out, Prince Kray Ranger of Soulmine was not present, and Luka still sat on his throne.

  I tried to focus on the road as the horse I named Strider led us down the road. There was really no destination in mind. I was too in shock to care. I preferred watching Morgan. Her eyes as she ran her fingers across the foreign keyboard. They traced along the f and j keys noting the mark on each. Each button, she pressed trying to figure out each function. Once she figured out how to use my mouse, she began to click on icons. As the different windows pulled up, her eyes focused. She bit her lower lip as it curved upward. She clicked the wifi button and the no signal picture flashed. Her head cocked in such a curious manner. She opened up Steam and explored all my games. She looked at their covers with amusement. Lightly, she grazed my screen. Not approving of how dark it was, she turned the brightness up.

  “How does this work?” Her eyes darted at me; they were a shade darker as they scanned my movements. She waited for a response but her confidence made me think she already knew. It was a test.

  “I don’t know exactly. I just did a year of computer science before I switched to English but code essentially is a computer language. It runs on it. People write code and it executes. I built a couple of games, just basic ones, but yeah.”

  “Fascinating.” She smiled like she was actually impressed with me. I think I passed.

  The day dragged on. We talked about school some more. She wasn’t very open but I filled in the silence with my rambles. A scream broke the peace. I whipped around. A soldier grew claws within seconds. He climbed on top of his friend. Gray teeth, sharp as needles, sunk into his neck. Black water spilled from his flesh. Scales covered the bald man’s body. A shriek broke from his mouth. The noise was enough for me to know he had forsaken god and anything holy. Shadow leaped up snapping at him. My hands flexed. Something caught in my throat. A low growl burst from it. Like a wolf, I hunched forward and howled.

  Her hands raised. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Morgan was doing. I slid behind her with hot tears breaking out of my eyes. I took a sharp breath forcing them away. She brought her hands together with one on top of the other. They clenched together so tight I thought they could never separate. With an unforeseen amount of strength, she yanked them apart. The soldier’s neck snapped. He fell to the ground. A sickening thud echoed. Without saying a word, Morgan dragged his body off the carriage. Like it was nothing to her, she pulled the second down. She waved a hand over his face. A final breath left him.

  “Fuck! Fuck! FUCKING CHRIST!”

  “They were… They were doomed to die anyway. The Larken got them.” She grabbed my shoulders. “I have never met or known of a survivor.” She bit her lip.

  “Yeah… You’re- Yo- Yeah.” She raised my chin to meet her gaze. “Morgan, I need to go home- No! I need a cure! I thought if they could- I can’t go home like this! My mother won’t be able to look at me! There’s a reason I haven’t told her!”

  “I suppose I can help you… I can help… We may as well see where the horses lead us.”