All by accident.
The worst part? His system seemed custom-built for maximum misunderstanding.
[Passive Misunderstanding Aura: Active.]
Always active.
Forever.
For eternity.
Li Qing sighed as he followed a group of excited disciples down a winding mountain path.
“Are you sure this is the way to the kitchens?” he asked.
A pretty, red-faced girl next to him clasped her hands respectfully. “Ah, Senior Li, always seeking mortal sustenance to maintain ties to the mundane world… truly profound.”
Li Qing wanted to die.
Or at least be mildly unconscious for a few hours.
He cleared his throat. “Right. Well, lead the way. I haven’t eaten anything decent since I reincarnated.”
The girl trembled. “Such a casual acceptance of one’s previous life… terrifying enlightenment.”
Gasps spread through the crowd again. Someone actually wept.
Li Qing ignored it.
At this point, it was either that or lose his sanity.
Sect Elder Gu Yunzhi stood before a gathering of hundreds of disciples, all gathered in neatly organized ranks.
“The Grand Disciple Trial of the Azure Mist Sect begins now!” he declared, voice booming.
“This trial will test your talent, your will, and your survival! Only those worthy of becoming core disciples shall survive the Forbidden Mist Valley!”
Cheers erupted.
Bloodthirsty, competitive cheers.
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Many were already sharpening swords, adjusting talismans, and whispering incantations.
“I hear it’s full of demonic beasts that flay your skin off.”
“I heard the mist makes you see your worst fears and then… eats you.”
“I heard a guy once tripped and died before even entering. Weakling.”
Elder Gu raised a hand.
“But this year… we are blessed.”
Everyone grew silent.
“For the first time in history, a prodigious sage of unfathomable power will grace this trial… not as an overseer, but as a participant.”
He gestured to the path down the hill.
“And here… comes Li Qing.”
Li Qing’s stomach grumbled.
He quickened his pace, hurrying after the girl who promised him the best steamed buns in the sect. “C’mon, I’m starving.”
“Yes, Senior!” she squeaked, mistaking his impatience for a test of her endurance.
They reached a clearing filled with people. Li Qing paused, confused.
“Wait… is this the kitchen?”
A young man with wild hair, two swords on his back, and murder in his eyes, stepped forward. “So you’re Li Qing.”
Li Qing blinked. “Uh… yeah. You got food?”
The man smirked. “Oh, I have something better.”
He drew his sword. “A fight to the death!”
Li Qing’s stomach growled again. “Unless that sword turns into a roast duck, I’m not interested.”
The man’s face paled. “Such arrogance…!”
Ding!
[Cultivation Points +1000: Host’s casual disregard of a challenge interpreted as complete dominance.]
Someone whispered in awe. “He’s already mentally defeated Senior Duan before lifting a finger!”
Li Qing sighed. “Listen, I just want food.”
Elder Gu Yunzhi arrived, beaming. “Excellent spirit, Li Qing! Such a simple yet profound wish! Indeed — why seek battle when one can first fill one’s belly? A lesson for all!”
Everyone applauded.
Li Qing glanced around, dead inside.
Is this my life now?
Yes.
Yes, it was.
Without fully understanding how, Li Qing found himself standing in line with other ‘participants’ for the trial. A gigantic gate before them creaked open, revealing a mist-filled valley that looked straight out of a horror movie.
Thick white fog billowed out. The sound of inhuman growling echoed from within.
Li Qing turned to the girl next to him.
“…this isn’t the kitchen, is it?”
She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes. “No, Senior… this is the Forbidden Mist Valley…”
Li Qing exhaled slowly.
“Of course it is.”
A disciple ahead of him was already sobbing.
“I’m too young to die…”
Li Qing patted his shoulder absentmindedly. “Same, brother. Same.”
Ding!
[Cultivation Points +500: Host’s casual solidarity interpreted as comforting wisdom in the face of death.]
The other disciples looked on with wide eyes.
Elder Gu spoke again from his cloud platform.
“The trial shall begin! Only those who survive the valley and retrieve a Demonic Beast Core shall pass!”
Boom.
The gate opened fully.
Everyone began pouring in.
Li Qing glanced down at his stomach.
Still empty.
“Well,” he mumbled, “maybe there’s food in there.”
Ding!
[Cultivation Points +1000: Host’s casual mention of ‘food’ interpreted as mocking death itself.]
Another wave of admiration swept the crowd.
“Did you hear? He called the demonic beasts ‘food.’ He must be planning to eat them!”
“A… a monster.”
Li Qing sighed one last time and trudged into the mist.
“System, if I don’t get some rice buns after this, I’m uninstalling you.”
No reply.
Only an ominous, cheerful ding.