Hours later our two thirds of a hero had finally dragged, crawled and skipped to his destination: the vault.

  .. Item acquired: Path orb x5

  .. Item acquired: Power Boots (Pink Dye), Unique, Bonus: Adds 2 meters to base jump range. Fall damage x3. 'Don’t trip!'

  [Transitioning.. ]

  ‘THUD!’

  "Ughh."

  And just like that the horrors of the arena were gone. Boss Door had sealed shut and Development Fund lay in silently waiting for the next nom-inducing investment. There would be no fanfare or applause for his troubles. Bob gazed at the stumps on his torso and groin. He wasn’t dead, but this time he might have lost a bit too much. Limbs won't re-grow upon hub-returns? My luck getting the cheap version of plot-armor.

  [HP: 20/20]

  [SP: 20/20]

  [MP: 5/5]

  Vitals topped off. And luckily sanity is not a stat here - it would be in the gutters.. This victory, does it even belong to me? A few more seconds and I would have been gone for sure. I was graced by J?rmungandr-junior. The question is 'why.'

  [Echuu] Don’t be so hard on yourself. Losing a few fat chunks: a solid 7/10 for audience engagement!

  Bob rolled onto his side, groaning. “I don’t even want to know what you’d rate a 10.”

  [Echuu] Total obliteration, all loot lost, debt still owed and a heartfelt monologue before the final, staggered breath. Classic tragedy material. If you do get there someday, my popcorn are buttered and ready to go!

  Bob struggled to a stand on his one remaining foot and wobbled towards Iron Jaw’s stall, the balance of his dignity a non-issue.

  The gear merchant did not flinch as Bob dumped stacks of materials onto his counter. Every remaining piece from fights barely survived. Bib appeared from a cloak-fold and spat out three additional pieces:

  .. Magma Core x3, Rare ..

  “You found that? Good boy.” Bob squeezed the tiny slime gently, and it vibrated in subtle excitement before squirting:

  .. Sweet Bloatfly Bile x5, Common ..

  “Dude!" Bob had barely sidestepped the stream of goo. Being plastered with the stuff once was more than enough showers of decay for one day. "SorryJaw, I’ll make the bugger suck it up already. Got some containers on ready?”

  Iron Jaw threw a nod to the back of his stall where a few jars sat. “Squeeze it in there if you must.” He rummaged through the materials, expression unreadable, then turned a large bone fragment in his hands. “A thousand for the lot, including bile. That is if you are looking to give it all up here and now. It is a good deal, lad, and I’m sensing you need a win.”

  “Spot on. That last arena was tougher than an achievement hunter’s resolve at 99.9% completion.." The experienced merchant did not react, and Bob cut the crap acknowledging truth: "I need capital to recover.”

  A sharp nod shot and sweep of the materials then coins clattered onto the counter. Bob grabbed it instantly.

  .. Coin total: 1200 ..

  He wasn’t focused on armor or weapons. There was something he needed more. With determination in every uneven skip, he made his way toward Development Fund.

  [System] Healer Stall Unlocked.

  .. Coin total: 950 ..

  The air shifted as unseen algorithms rewrote the room's code. Beneath Bob's feet faintly pulsing glowing veins crawled across the floor reaching a decrepit stall. Rot and rust convulsed with a wet snap. Groaning wooden beams straightened and rebuilt into a level 0 structure. Rows of pottery emerged, most cracked, a few pristine, each leaking soft aromas of herbs and salves. Bob's nose caught whiff of something homely and delicious. Is that pan-cakes cooking? Please system, do not roll a blind, cackling fairytale which. I'm good with anything else.

  A woman appeared. Not from behind a curtain or stepping out of shadows. She was just there. Her chestnut hair shimmered in dim light and rosy lips curved into a smile. It was small, patient even, landing like a critical hit. Her sky-blue eyes were too vivid to ignore. They observed him, deciphering his story: not by scanning gear or status windows but by digging to the root of his damage, in places that didn’t show on a HUD.

  'Silence.' The system had given Bob a single threadbare chance to seize the moment and say something real.

  He shifted his stance before blurting: “I need a new leg. And an arm while you’re at it.”

  [Echuu] Ever the ladies-man. I can already see the two of you riding off into the sunset. Straight into an invisible wall! Her name is Lynn by the way, in case that matters to a Casanova.

  The healer spoke, demeanor soft. “Easy now. Let me first get a look at you.” She gestured for Bob to approach. “You are still alive. That is a good place to start.”

  Bob grinned as he skipped forth and dropped to his ass just inside the perimeter of her stall. “Yeah. Believe it or not: I usually have more swag to my walk.”

  Her left hand hurried to cover her mouth, though Bob had already seen it: Lynn chuckling at his joke. Or the absurdity of his state. Both maybe?

  "Right. Let's get you up and running." She winked and reached inside the stall pulling out a single, gleaming fruit.

  [Echuu] OHHH, jackpot Bob! You’re looking at a Troll’s-heart. Don’t let the name fool you, it’s yummy. A kind of plumb, rare as snowflakes in hell during summertime.

  “Sadly, this has but one use in it.” Lynn said, voice calm but firm. “It will let you restore a limb. When you bite into it, focus on which you need most.”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  One use. He knew by now that nothing in this damned game came easy. "What's the catch here? Will I sprout tusk's.. or turn to stone in sunlight?"

  “No. Nothing like that at all. I take my profession and my patients seriously." She smiled again, wider this time. "This time it is free. The fruit is homegrown after all.” She gestured to a small bonsai-looking tree in the back of her stall. “It’ll take around ten trips to the arena before the next one blooms. Do try to keep yourself together.”

  Before Bob could grab the fruit another voice cut in. “You are walking a fine line, Lynn. The system’s has set up rules for a reason.” Bob turned. The Enchanter, Yui, stood nearby. Her clouded silver eyes were unreadable, but her tone held weight.

  Lynn did not flinch. “These rules everyone holds in such high regard, where exactly are they written? I’ve certainly never received an employee handbook. As a healer, my duty is to this patient. If you could be so kind Yui.. I must tend to his health.”

  [Echuu] OH SNAP! We’ve got a sazzy rulebreaker in the house! Is that hot by human standards too, Bob? Good thing you didn’t make a bad first impression.

  Yui stared for a long moment before shaking her head, muttering as she turned and walked. “Foolish girl.”

  Bob didn’t hesitate a second longer. He grabbed the fruit, plunging it into his wide open gape as if the system was going to intervene with a slap of denial any second. ‘Chump’.

  [System] Regrowth Initiated. Analyzing state.. Choose: right leg or left arm.

  Easy choice. His left arm was his prime but he could use both decently well. Without two legs, his movement was fucked all kinds of sideways. ‘Leg.’

  The moment the decision was made a surge of pain and heat followed. Bone and flesh rebuilt itself, growing from the stump outward, weaving into a pristine imitation of what once was.

  [System] Critical injury healed. Right leg fully functional

  Bob took stock of his new body part. Hah! Look at that shiny Brazilian wax. Guess re-growths don’t do hair-plugs. A small sense of relief reached his spirit. “Thanks Lynn. I know you didn’t have to come through for a stranger. I’m Bob by the way.”

  She nodded, hand in front of her mouth and cheeks full from a fresh bite of something edible. So It IS pancakes. And drizzled in sauces. FUCKING HELL! Take back the leg, I'll have that stack instead! Bob licked his lips furiously: the juices of the troll's heart and Lynn's baked food reminded him of his growling stomach. By now a rival to D-Fund in intensity.

  He shook his head and held up a walnut-sized hardened core, a bit of sweet flesh still attached. "Can I have this?" He asked.

  Lynn paused from chewing and looked at him with careful deliberation. This time she wasn't evaluating a patient, but judging a character. She swallowed, then answered. “You ask for my permission to keep the seed.. You know, they become precious, almost sacred beings, connected to the very stream of life within the system itself." Her eyes flicked to the seed. "Somehow I sense this little one does not shy from your touch. It leans into it.. Okay then. Should it sprout for you, I would beg that you treat the tree well.”

  [Echuu] What’s this? Planning to start your own dungeon-farm now?

  Yeah. Bob glanced at the seed of potential in his hand. "I'll keep it safe."

  .. Item acquired: Troll’s-heart seed..

  .. Break ..

  It did not take long before Bob began testing his new leg and pink boots, bunny-hopping about the antechamber. His base horizontal jump while standing was 2 meters. Boots doubled that, and ‘stick-the-landing’-bonus multiplier hiked the number to an insane 8! If he added a running start to the mix, it would mean injuries incoming for sure.

  “Not bad, lad.” Iron Jaw grunted, arms crossed, observing the show of gear-amplified athleticism. “You’re more capable than I thought. Still short an arm. That balance issue, it might prove an issue when you least expect it.”

  Bob halted, nearly stumbling over in the process. “Yeah, I noticed. That’s why I’m working on it. I have to tune in my movements all over again.”

  A sharp whistle cut through the air and Mikoko popped out from her stall. “Ohhhhh, I think I’ve got a fix for that.”

  Bob narrowed his eyes, not in disbelief, but in pure curiosity. “What kind of fix are we talking about here? Please tell me you’re into mystic healing-plants too?”

  Iron Jaw sighed through his plates and added. “Her family-line of crafters are renowned for their work in mechanical prosthetics.”

  Mikoko grinned. “That’s right. And for just three stall upgrades worth of gold, plus a decent pile of high-tier materials, you’ll get the best replacement arm in the realms!”

  [Echuu] Someone’s got a funding crisis! Debt Keeper will be SOOO stone-faced to hear about this. I’ll.. just be over there. ‘Arrow pointing to the bank stall – >’

  Bob’s stomach sank. He had a haul of gold on him by now, but that sounded expensive. And buy-backing mats like a newbie? Nah. Besides, with other options available, what would be the best bang for his buck? Maybe he could do without an arm for a round or two, while he farmed a bit: his crowbar was great even as a one-hander. Is that the answer?

  Drumming a finger against his right temple, quick calculations flashed through his mind.

  256 bland T1 crowbars for a T5 Mikoko-special. That’s 2560c. He already had a T3 bent rod on him: subtract 160c. Add his purse of 950 and all he needed was.. Still fucking 1450c.

  “Jaw, how much does unique go for again?” Bob asked. While waiting for the answer, he popped a path orb to test the money-roller's option.

  ..LUCKY BREAK! Tier 4 payout: 398 coins awarded. ‘Clink, clank.’ A stream of tiny 1c's spilled out the orb. Bib was already sucking up metal like a casino-cup / vacuum-cleaner hybrid.

  “Hah. Not bad huh? My own little mini-vegas!” Bob looked to Iron Jaw hoping he’d share in the excitement.

  “I’ll give you five hundred for unique tier five rewards. Secret or special editions must be evaluated individually.” Iron Jaw said, unresponsive to the slot-machine action before him.

  Secret? Special? That gem from Mikoko.. Nah. Bob was not giving up that item. His cloak then? Nope. Too versatile. However, Mandi-Bling? He hesitated. The insectile amulet power felt stronger as if slowly awaking into full potential. By now, it didn’t just close his flesh wounds off from bleeding: it was staking claims on parts of his body. “Alright.” he muttered. “You did good saving me out there. But we have to part ways before this relationship gets out of hand.”

  [System] Equipment unequipped: Green-Warden’s Mandi-Bling

  He stared down at the amulet in his palm. Somehow he sensed its state: still hungry. A part of him wanted to hurl it into the void between stalls. Another part wanted to clutch it tight as a lifeline. What he actually did was sell it. Along with the pink, off-brand, boots. They were fun times for sure, but their penalty a deathtrap. There would surely be more platforming moving forth.

  Just 52c to go. Easily reachable with an orb roll.

  .. Rolling coin.. Congratulations. Tier 1 payout: 4 coins awarded.

  “You got to be kidding me!” Bob half shouted as a measly four coins dropped, Bib not even booting up his trademark power. The gacha giveth and the gacha fucketh. 'Reroll.'

  [System] Unable to reroll choice: coin.

  Bob snapped the prompt shut with a hiss. “Figures. Devs patched the loophole before I even found it.” Forty eight coins short of god-bar, six shimmering orbs in inventory, and a twitch in his palm that only addicts know. One more spin, Bobby-boy. What’s the worst that could happen? Statistically speaking, everything.

  He cracked his neck, raised the next orb like an outlaw about to pull the lever on a slot machine made of pure mathematics and shouted at invisible gods overhead. “R N G E-EEEEEEE! Make! It! RAIN!”

  .. Rolling coin.. Tier 3 payout: 221 coins awarded.

  Metal spat to the antechambers floor like a hailstorm in a tin shack. It wasn’t the legendary full vault vomit, but it shoved his balance above the mark. “Mikoko! Fire up your tools, we’re about to break shit!”

  The tiny wannabe forge-goblin popped up from behind, enthusiasm cranked to eleven. “Yaaa-hoo! I knew you were my favorite loose-cannon client. Time to swaddle another load of innocent metal in budget-friendly arcane-fire!”

  [Echuu] Great idea all around. Nothing screams 'future regrets' like dumping all your eggs into one bent steel basket. I love this for us, how about you baby-bro?

  The collector-slime gurgled, then belched up a lone coin with the elegance of a malfunctioning vending machine.

  [Bib] ‘BURP’