“Would you like meatloaf with that?” Asked Mr. Meatloaf, looking over his notepad.
“Uh… on my pizza?” Asked Cronk, double checking the menu to confirm whether or not the Ooey Gooey Fresh And Fruity Pizza had meatloaf on it.
“Erm, with your meal, boss” Said the young man. “That kind woman over there informed me that she would like to order one for you” He continued, gesturing towards the ominous dark table in the corner.
This immediately set off alarm bells in Cronk’s mind. He looked closer at the old woman sitting there as his eyes widened in horror.
“YOU!!!” Cronk yelled, flinging his entire table out of the way as he began to stomp forwards, completely ignoring Mr. Meatloaf.
“Hm, perhaps no meatloaf then” The waiter said, before retreating to the kitchen.
“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE!?” Cronk protested as he arrived at the old woman’s table. He slammed a large fist down upon it that shook the entire building.
“Yo! Mr. Tomahawk! Long time no see!” Said Countess Jujube with a comically enthusiastic wave. “Is that any way to greet an old friend?” She said, looking up at him as he towered over the table.
Cronk continued to glare down at her.
“What’s this about, Vivian?” He said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Brrrrr! Straight to business, huh?” She said as she broke eye contact and stared down at her plate with a regretful look. As usual, the plate was filled with nothing but jujubes.
“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? If you really cared enough to drop by for a visit, you would have remembered what I said the day you all kicked me out” Cronk spat.
Countess Jujube slowly placed a gummy in her mouth, and forced herself to chew it, long since numb to the taste.
“You said that you never want to even think about a steak ever again, and that you were scrapping your family name” She said, looking back up at him.
Cronk’s glare hardened.
“The party needs Mr. Tomahawk again” She said.
Cronk’s fist clenched tighter before he let out a breath to cool off.
“I can’t go back to that life. I wasn’t strong enough then, and I know I’ll never be” He said, his tone shallow.
“Find someone whose body can actually handle what it takes to fuel hardcore. Don’t seek out the man who put the party tasked with saving the world into debt with his diet. The man whose strength gave out when it mattered most” He said, his stare towards Vivian having softened.
She placed another jujube into her mouth like it was an instinct, the plate being cleared with agonizing slowness. She hesitantly chewed, and swallowed with a loud gulp.
“We won’t make you go hardcore again. You can work your way up. Any beef. No, any meat to start. You at 70, 60, hell, even 50% power fits the team as our tank better than any willing soul we could find in 4 months. We’re running out of time” She said, her tone now more serious than his.
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Cronk considered it for a moment, before an involuntary look of disgust and nausea crossed his face.
“I-”
“Your Ooey Gooey Fresh And Fruity Pizza, boss!” Said Mr. Meatloaf, appearing at the table with the hot, wonderful-smelling dish, and a warm smile.
“Gaaah!” screamed Cronk as he staggered backwards in surprise. “Don’t sneak up on people like that, kid!” He said, actually going to pull up a nearby chair so he could sit at the table properly.
“Please enjoy” Said Mr. Meatloaf with a bow, heading back towards the kitchen.
As Cronk turned back to Vivian, he noticed that she was now looking between him and his Ooey Gooey Fresh And Fruity Pizza with a mad smile. Her plate was almost cleared. She had stood up from her chair, and above her head circled a halo of rainbow gummies.
Cronk’s eyes widened in horror as a red one was flung toward him. Instinctively, raised his arms up, defensively holding two stringy tomahawk steaks by the bones.
*BANG*
A powerful explosion rang through the restaurant, launching Mr. Meatloaf behind the bar with an “oof!”, and causing Cronk to get thrust backwards through his chair, sliding along the wooden floor with his guard up on pure instinct.
A cruel scowl crawled across his face as he surveyed the damage to his restaurant. Chairs and tables were scattered everywhere, some broken down to wooden splinters. His Ooey Gooey Fresh And Fruity Pizza shared a similar fate.
“HEY! THIS IS MY HOUSE! I HAVE A NEW LIFE! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD UNDERSTAND!” Cronk yelled at the Countess, not moving an inch out of his defensive stance.
“Understand? Do you think this is a joke?” Vivian responded, her sweet tone filled with bitterness. An orange jujube floated into the air, and began to spin wildly.
“Have you been to the front lines recently?” She spat with a chuckle. “We’re losing good men every day out there! Everyone we tried to replace you with is gone. The food monsters are getting bolder, we’re losing ground. And here you are! Our front line! Just giving up! Eating as you please!”
“I put in my damn time and then some, Vi! I’m not getting any younger! I-”
A bright orange beam screamed through the air, Cronk grunting as he swung his arms to block it. It’s pressure forced him back, and began blowing splinters and dust in a violent spiral as it’s force tore into the dual tomahawks.
Eventually, it was too much to bear. Cronk got smashed back into the far wall, falling to the ground. Two half-charred bones clattered across the floor as he tried to catch his breath, starting to rise back up.
Vivian was surprised at how he’d been able to block it despite being fully off-diet for months. She walked closer, pulling a bag out of her cloak, and tossing it over. Cronk recognized it as a brand of tomahawk jerky he used to bring on missions. A few pieces spilled out in front of him when it came to a stop. They landed right next to a surviving slice of his Ooey Gooey Fresh and Fruity Pizza.
“Eat it” The Countess commanded.
A second beam shrieked towards him.
But, it was stopped short.
“That’s my boss you’re talking to!!” Yelled Mr. Meatloaf, His arms and legs cushioned by his durable signature dish, tanking the beam. “He’s done enough! I’ll fight instead!” He cried, determined.
“Henry!” Yelled Cronk. “You have your whole life ahead of you, kid! Don’t waste it away fueling your power! Don’t risk it on the front lines!”
“Well, somebody has to!” Mr. Meatloaf replied without turning back. “I can take it boss, I promise. I learned everything I know from you!”
“Oh? You think I’d accept you in his place?” Asked Countess Jujube, the rainbow gummies from her halo beginning to spin with power. “Prove it”
“I’ll be expecting a generous tip” Mr. Meatloaf replied, the loaves on his body beginning to change shape.
As the air in the restaurant shifted, Henry and Vivian stared each other down, ready for a food fight that could decide the fate of the world.
Cronk looked between his young apprentice, his oldest friend, the bag of jerky, and the slice of Ooey Gooey Fresh And Fruity Pizza. An unknowable look spread across his face.