Raiten

  “Come on Raiten!” she said. Her white hair flowed like foaming waves as she climbed the rockface. I followed behind her, stumbling where she skipped, nearly falling while she soared. She didn’t wait for me though. Rather, she conquered the rock face like a crazed monkey, like she was born upon it and familiar with each tiny, insignificant crevice. Awe is not what I felt in that moment—such a simple term cannot encapsulate the true wonder that Hui’s mere presence brought into my simple, stupid life.

  “Hurry up!” she called when throwing a cursory glance over her shoulder. I did my best, small fingers clawing at the ashy peaks.

  She disappeared over a ledge. That’s when the panic really set in. I had to resist the urge to look down—tell myself that Hui waited at the top.

  Still, I just couldn’t resist.

  The drop from the highest point of Mt. Vordrex was indescribable. Felt inescapable, even. The more I looked at the small figures and huts of Clan Adachi in the distance, the more I wanted to puke. That’s without mentioning the greater view of Katal itself. When looking outwards, beyond the ranges of Adachi, one could even view the Eastern Covetous Mountains and the Northern lands belonging to Catolica. To the South, of course, lay the famed Fickle Plains and beyond them, the Boar Ranges. All the world, all of my world, summarized by one single panoramic view.

  Too dizzying.

  Just make it Hui. Just make it to Hui.

  In reality, I never wanted to climb the old volcano. In fact, it was probably the last place in this world I wanted to be at—just a month prior, Sadai threw himself into its depths. Killed himself. And that was the end of the only friend I ever knew. We bonded over our shared suffering. And he left me alone.

  That is, until I met Hui.

  As I hauled myself over the final ledge, I saw Hui leaning on a flat rock, viewing the sunset. She didn’t even look at me. Rather, her gaze settled on the world beyond.

  I came up to her, panting and sweating. I was embarrassed by my stink, but I still mustered up enough courage to stand by her.

  “Took you long enough,” she teased.

  “Sorr—sorry, I—”

  “Imagine Raiten, look out there and imagine, for one second, what it would be like to venture forth. To see what all those warriors have seen!” she said, directing my gaze to the broader lands. From there, we could even glimpse the ocean as it sparkled in the light of the sun.

  I looked out. But I don’t think I saw what she necessarily saw. Still, when I looked at the wonder in her gray eyes, the smile on her face, I saw enough.

  “One day Hui,” I began. “One day, it will be us out there. I promise.”

  She nodded, still not looking at me. I didn’t mind though.

  “You’re right Raiten. No matter what, I’ll get out of here. Get out of the stupid Elders’ grasps. And then, I can have it all. I can be a hero,” she said. Her hand reached out at that moment and grasped at the sun.

  I could already see how she drummed up visions of her life. Of her destiny.

  And in that moment, I promised myself that I would help her achieve it.

  Fool.

  I paused… no I pause, listening.

  Take another look at Hui. Then, take a look at myself. My hands, so small and dirty. Calloused by rocks. But not by battle. Not yet.

  Right. Battle.

  I sigh. The dream had me for a bit, I’ll grant it that. What a wretched memory I chose for myself. Or perhaps someone else chose it for me.

  I look away from Hui, eyes hunting about.

  “Thraevirula! Are you there?” I call.

  No one answers.

  “Who are you talking to Raiten?” Hui asks from behind. I flinch. Is it—right it could be.

  The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Only one way to find out.

  I wheel on Hui, stalk towards her with my hands curled into fists.

  “Raiten? Are you—”

  I grab her by the cuff. “Stop messing with me. You had your fun. I will unleash every single hell I’ve ever endured if you don’t let me out this instant—”

  “Raiten, please, you’re scaring me!” Hui whimpers slightly. I pause, face drawing from back hers. Then I shake my head.

  “Nice try, I’m not that easy. Alright? Now, enough games. Let. Me. Out.” I punctuate those last three words by shaking her violently.

  Hui looks like a frightened rabbit. She tries pushing away from me. I hold her collar tighter.

  “Now, Thrae. Right now! Let me out!” I yell. Hui starts tearing up.

  “Raiten you are hurting me. Please. Let me go. I’m sorry— I didn’t mean to make you come here if it's causing you pain. I… wanted to show you something better—”

  I tune her out. Let her go. She falls on her butt, staring up at me with that contemptible, frightened gaze.

  I don’t understand. Is this… is this just me then? Just my dream? Why does it feel like before then? Why does it feel so real?

  Wait. This is your chance. Who cares if it's real or not?

  If this is the past, then…

  Your mother is still alive!

  I sprint away from Hui and climb back down the mountain. She calls for me to wait but I don’t take heed. I am past being her dog.

  I cut myself on the slopes as I skid and slide. I’m not used to this body anymore. It’s too small, too weak.

  The pain feels real enough. That could be a good sign.

  I’ll take anything at this point.

  When I finally reach the bottom, I see the Adachi of my past: a series of stony huts and secluded peoples. The houses are elevated on the mountainside—some built into it, others built upon it. From afar, no one can even tell that a whole clan of people lives here, save for the orange lantern lights peeking through the slitted windows of the homes at night.

  A training procession of warriors does their drills under the watchful eye of Elder Kai. And just like in the past, he pays me no mind as I skirt around his group and sprint back to my home.

  I pass the judgement rink. Try not to look at it too hard.

  My mind is fluttering with disparate thoughts. Too many to parse or pick apart. I just have to make it to her. I just have to see her. That would be enough. More than enough.

  I look up just in time to avoid running into two Elders as they walk by. Hikaru and Daichi. Odd pair. They seem to be arguing about something.

  Daichi notices me running. He adopts a fox’s smile and kicks out his foot just as I pass. I see it coming. But, my body can’t catch up with my instinct. I fall hard. My nose cracks against the stones. Daichi laughs. Hikaru ignores me. I keep my eyes low—bear the indignity of Daichi’s gaze. I’ll kill him soon enough. However, right now, it doesn’t matter.

  Because I’m so close.

  I get up and sprint off, undeterred.

  I see the lone house on the ledge, half the size of the other homes. Twice the warmth. Twice the comfort.

  I can already smell that sweet scent of moon cakes baking above the stove. It's a familiar friend—a joy I haven’t experienced in years.

  Tears well up in my eyes.

  What will she think of me? Of the man I’ve become?

  I have so much to say to her.

  So much to talk to her about.

  So much to apologize for. I’m the one that got her killed. Me and my stupid love. My stupid dream.

  I should never have dreamt. I had everything I needed. I would’ve lived the rest of my days a happy stall-keeper if only I got to see her every day. If only I could see her grow old and smile.

  I come to the door. Hear her humming that melody she always used to hum while cooking.

  I pause before the orange light that filters through the opening.

  Take a deep breath.

  Then, I enter.

  “Mother, I’m—”

  My world goes horizontal as a stinging pain rings across my cheek. I fall to the ground. Try standing. Another slap.

  “WAKE UP RAITEN!”

  A third slap and the floor falls away.

  …

  My eyes open slowly. I ache all over. Umbrahorn stares me down with his beady, black eyes. A panicked look is stricken across his face.

  “Raiten. I need you to—”

  I punch the shark. He reels back, spits out some wooden chunks.

  I shake my wrist and feel blood well down my knuckles.

  “WHAT WAS THAT FOR YOU UNGRATEFUL SHIT? YOU HAVE NO RESPECT I JUST SAVED YOUR…” he continues on, cursing and howling at me.

  I look at my fist. Back to its normal size. Back to the familiar, steady flow of blood on my skin.

  “I’m home.”