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  Their souls were shattered. I had convinced myself of it. But no, the memories were there. Kept from me. Because I am weak. My sister kept it from me. My soul tears a bit more. I hug myself as my body grows as my self loathing does. My manifestation matches my real body size again. Qorth notices I am awake and my pain.

  “My Lady, what is wrong?”

  I turn to her, tears in my eyes, “I remember another life I took. She was a woman with no choice in life. She had come to murder me, better to kill me than be forced into prostitution. I was just bait. Would it be terrible if she never found me? Would she have found another or lose her mind like her mother. I don't know. Sister kept this from me. I don't know. I ate her.”

  My soul tears a bit more. My hate vacillates between myself and sister. I shudder as Qorth hugs me.

  “You still mourn those that helped you grow.”

  “I'm a monster.”

  My body refused to grow or change. A part of me must still believe otherwise. Before I can find that part that denies the truth, Qorth speaks again.

  “Perhaps, but there is still kindness as well.”

  “What kindness have I ever displayed?”

  “Did you not risk yourself asking your sister to slay a hydra for me, knowing the blood could drive you both mad. You didn't need the levels but you still wanted to get me to tier two. Come tell me about this new woman. To remember her properly and to move on.”

  I look at her with misty eyes. My soul mends a bit. My size pulls back down. I tell her of the tragedy of Nyx.

  -----

  I'm breathing hard. I felt sister loathing. At herself. At me. Something happened. Our soul was even farther apart now. I look to the sky. I think I lost control of the memories. Sorry sister. I wanted to protect you longer. Not sure how she managed to sleep. I never did when she was in Yetna. Why was that? Mags stirs.

  “Mornin’ Sara.”

  “Greetings mother."

  She frowns at that, my formality wrankles her.

  “Whats wrong?”

  “I think sister is remembering the lives she took. Her anger at herself and my concealing of it has torn our soul further.” I let out a sigh. “I felt it mend a bit after, perhaps she found comfort.”

  “You kept the memories? So you know how many she killed.”

  I look at my mother, a wry smile, “Yes, twelve. Not all of them deserved death. None of them deserved to be drained of their blood and thrown into the river.”

  She winces at that. I look at her with a questioning look.

  “You don't know, do you? Seems you've been keeping memories from each other.”

  “I don't understand.”

  “Are you sure you want to know Sara, you're just as injured as she is?”

  I squint at her and she just stares at me. I sigh.

  “I don't think secrets are helping us. It hurts more when we find out. Makes us hate ourselves for keeping them.”

  She nods at that, “From what your sister told me, she only threw two in the river.”

  “I don't understand? How was she not caught leaving bodies around?”

  “She ate them. Not just their souls but their physical bodys.”

  My heart thuds in my chest. She ate them…we ate them. I don't care. I cradle my head as Mags hugs me. I don't care. Why do I care? Sister must see them as meat. Will I? Do I already?

  “How could she…”

  “She didn't remember herself until after her first collar. She had become so emotionally muted she was dissociating. She saw herself as a monster.”

  “I was the monster, you left me behind because I was…you were supposed to keep her sane.”

  I look at her and see her sad eyes.

  “I tried Sara, I didn't leave you behind because I thought you a monster. I was wrong to separate the two of you. I brought her to your family so that it might heal her. Through healing her, perhaps you would heal as well. She had freed your grandmothers, I was hopeful. But she had her blood episode. She became the perfect [Attendant]...at least in her mind. I thought she was stable. I think she waited for me to go into a deep sleep before she left every night. I have failed you both.”

  I know I can tell by a person's heart rate and breathing when they are out. I take a shuddering breath. We stayed like this for a while, my tears mixing with hers. When the sun broke through the horizon, I calmed. My soul mended a bit more. We separated and Mags started gathering her gear.

  “Why did this even happen?”

  She quirks an eyebrow at me.

  “I mean, why did I lose access to my soul and status? It didn't happen to my sister when she went to Yetna.”

  “Had anything changed since then?”

  I think on that. My only answer, I give.

  “Sister had changed our manifestation, it felt more real afterwards. I think we integrated ourselves more into it. She thought she could leave the dungeon as it. Maybe our soul became more tied to it.”

  “And when you got too far it pulled the soul to her.”

  I nod.

  “Are you sure you want to continue to the scorpion? If you soul etch yourself in such a state…”

  I shake my head, “I promised to freak her out with it. I will avoid sleeping until I hear her voice.”

  “And if she sleeps before you do.”

  I give a sad smile, “I doubt she will be all too eager to.”

  -----

  “And then I ate her body. She was the first one I ate.”

  “Do you think this madness will infect those who become like you as well?”

  I look a Qorth, who already bears my ears and tail. Her teeth are thicker than mine, a tiger's teeth and not the plunging needles. I give her a brave smile.

  “I dunno, I don't think so. My malaise is more a matter of seeing their memories. I can't escape their identities. There is no distance for me. It's always personal. I am the last person they see when they die. Their fear of me, of a predator, is the most vivid thing I remember upon waking up. They called me a monster. And I keep agreeing.”

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  We sat for a while, not saying anything. Qorth was the first to break the silence.

  “Do you know how many more?”

  I sigh, “I dunno, the most fucked up part. I don't know. I want to talk to sister again before I see the next though.”

  Qorth frowns, “You stopped saying ‘my’ again.”

  I suppose I did. Damn.

  -----

  Mags had us under her cover spell. My own trinket locked inside my inaccessible soul. She deployed it at the first melted tree. Possibly within range of our quarry. At least another mile to traverse. We take it slow. We are approaching the base of a mountain. I stop Mags.

  “I can hear its lungs and heart.”

  Mags cocks her head in the direction I pointed.

  “Good ears, I hate to find out how much you will hear after the second major perception boon.”

  I raise an eyebrow.

  “It lets you super charge a sense. Most think eyesight but that's easily blocked, not much use seeing the details of a wall. Hearing on the other hand carries through so much.”

  I smile, must be what grandma and Beatrice have. I can feel vibrations through my feet. I wonder if that was supercharge would let me understand enough to mentally map my surroundings. A thought for another time. We get closer to the heart and lungs. Our shadow looms over a rock. The rock shifts. Not a rock.

  The scorpion's lateral eyes notice the change in light and shift towards us. It sweeps a claw as both Mags and I separate. The creature sees me and moves forward, claws snapping. Big enough to take a limb off, including my head. I raise vines to tangle its legs, smirking at how natural the manipulation comes to me. It is not through mana that I engage such. As it struggles the tail points towards me. Mag’s void construct severs it. The only thing that sprays on me is the creature's blue blood. I don't curse it for it. I worry if I did I would suffer soul burn, possibly more tearing.

  As the creature flails, I jab my sword into its joint behind the right side claw. A moment later the rending removes the claw entirely. I pull back before the left gets to me. The creature slows. I may not be cursing it but blood loss is blood loss. Mags pulls back. Giving me the time to kill it. To grow. I stay to its right. A sword between its eyes would work but it would ruin the eyes. I throw my mithril knives into its side. It pierces and rends. A hole for my sword to find its heart. It does and it dies.

  Gained 324 exp from Giant Maknor Scorpion

  You gained 48 unallocated stat points

  “The higher tiers are ridiculous, three levels and another forty-eight stats to assign.”

  “I told you that there are monsters in the capital, tier sevens and eights.”

  Unimaginable. Guess they never went for a soul boon. I go to dig out an eye with my knife and stop. I noticed the glyph work on the blade. I might need to ask sister for a not so fun knife. I turn to Mags.

  “Have a knife that isn't covered in make a giant mess glyphs?”

  She barks a laugh, “Not really Sara, you can always use your hands.”

  I sour at that, it seems she does not plan to help. I grab the carapace on the right side and start pulling. The five on this side won't be leaving without an effort. At least my body is singing at the bliss from all this blood. My body creeks as it becomes bigger.

  -----

  “Why aren't you working on anything sweetie?”

  “Afraid to get skill ups, my soul pulls apart if I do, Cecelia.”

  She doesn't say anything but I feel her shock from me using her name. Damn it.

  “Sorry, mom.”

  “You don't have to force it, Sara.”

  “Still feel bad about it though.”

  A side hug.

  You gained 27 exp from Trent

  I bark a laugh. Cecelia gives me a questioning look.

  “Sister is killing trees with souls.”

  -----

  I watch Mag use her void blade to kill the twenty other trents. My fire magic and reserves were enough to reduce one to ashes. Rending knives isn't much help on a creature that doesn't really have vital organs. Makes me wish I had my mithril sword.

  “Apologies for making you do all the work.”

  “Nonsense, it was a nice workout. Figured you only really needed one.”

  While increasing my size is a goal…I don't think relieving the memories of a tree is how I want to achieve it. Fragmented skeletal guard memories were bad enough. Full on stationary tree memories, no thanks.

  We start walking when I fall to the ground in pain. My soul was pulling further apart.

  You have gained [Dungeon 3] Apprentice 2

  Gain 6 exp

  Mags has me back into a princess carry.

  “Sorry dear, we need to get you back now.”

  I fight for my consciousness. The pain was too much. Please don't take my sister from me [Soul Eater].

  -----

  I hold myself up. That one really hurt. I feel my soul and find Mags and my sister are heading back to Maknor. My breathing is heavy. I don't even need to breathe but I am still doing it. I chuckle at that. My titter has been absent for awhile. Am I trying not to emulate my sister… maybe. Still a bit bitter. She will have all the words.

  I double over in pain again. Through it, I feel her again. O thank the system. I was so afraid. Still angry. She's unconscious. Damn.

  I return to modifying my babies. So many shades of silk. That they are spiders with mental magic now should have given me pause. But I just find it hilarious. I titter at the thought. Guess something returned afterall. It's what the tailors wanted, woe be it for the adventurers who need to collect it.

  Just as I finish with instance two my soul warms. A hundred more soul seeped into me. The scorpion was long lived, indeed. My body grows bigger. Before I have time to adjust, my digestive system feels as if it is further elongating. Where my anus was now a greater tail thrust out, more black chitin. Seven joints form as the barb at the end thickens and grows sharp. Bulb full of venom glands and muscles. I feel as if I could spray venom from the tip.

  I look behind myself at my new scorpion tail. I wave it around when I feel my two front legs pivot sideways moving down my carriage. It reminds me of when I first changed my legs. My stance shifts again. Where once my legs were two claws burst forth. To better to grab with. Black chitin as well. Guess hoping for scales was too much.

  My hips start to burn. Why can I see from my hips…I look down to see five lidless eyes dotting each hip. Lateral eyes. Fuck. I mean it's useful to be able to see behind myself. My soul warms at that. Damn it. If I wasn't creepy before, I now have eleven sets of cat eyes.

  I will myself to the forest. I aim at a tree and fire. A bit of my tail venom burns my shoulder. Ahhhh. Fuck. I healed it but that felt worse than my spider venom. The tree is gone. I check my status screen. Chimera. It was bound to happen. Start a race, leave the race.

  How are the changes on your end, sister?

  -----

  It's literally a scorpion tail out of my dryad backside…sorry for keeping secrets, Sara.

  -I understand why, still annoyed … How many more?

  I close my eyes. Well the ones that can close.

  Ten.

  -...I'm going to take it slowly. Talking out Nyx life helped a lot. Kind of a funeral service.

  Think you can wait for my return? I want to be there for the rest.

  -Sure, can you assume our true body. Need to go over the changes.

  I take a breath and become it. The stinger is there and the lateral eyes.

  “Surpised there are no claws.” Mags looks over my body.

  “Me too.”

  We didn't get the claws. Eyes on my hip and the tail, but no claws.

  -Really, my manifestation did but to be honest they just kinda sit there. We use magic and throwing knives. Do we need pincers that shift our already stable stance?

  I suppose not, but then why do you have them?

  -Ah well I was thinking they could hold metal as I smith.

  I bark a laugh at that. I think of my way to many jointed fingers with their thread manipulating claws and understand. Time for the real test.

  I shift to the attendant form. The life core begins to steadily drain. Eyes grow on my hip but it still drains. My cat tail becomes like the scorpion though still covered with hair. I still need more changes. A flower grows and the drain stops. The flower falls and I add scales to my back. It stabilizes again.

  Sister, do we truly need hip eyes. We already have spider skeletal ones.

  -I think our mana sights have shifted to them.

  I turn them on and sure enough they are down there. My soul eyes are the only ones attached to my head. If I could raise our perception to five hundred would we be able to open the rest of our mana sights? All my hip eyes see clearly. Still think they need eye lids ahhhhh. I clutch my hips.

  -Had to think it, didn't ya.

  Sorry.

  I titter. I take a breath. I don't know how we can be able to get visual information from our hips.

  -Int stat no doubt speeding up our nerve information.

  Not perception? A mental shrug…I missed you sister. A soul squeeze.

  Mags gives me a side hug, “Glad you're feeling better.”

  I smile. She can feel it through my soul.

  “Though your ass is hanging out of your work dress.”

  Ahhhhh Sister, I need a new work dress. A mental eye roll greets me.

  -Make your own.

  Rude…Acceptance?

  -Acceptance.

  -----

  I move myself back to my technicolor spiders. I start to walk to the next and I feel my blood shift in me…what. I move again and more movement. Not enough to sloosh around but like I am a fully filled water balloon. I look at my body with life eyes…my vascular system has changed. Instead of capillaries delivering bits of blood to my organs, my organs are bathed in ultra violet blood…ultra violet? I look at my spiders and see they have a similar set up for their blue blood. Is this an actual improvement? I feel like bleeding out is more likely. It's not like I have an exoskeleton. My body shifts at the thought…I look again. Only my abdomen is free floating in blood. Capillaries have returned under my scales and skin.

  -What did you change?

  Our body vascular system became arachnid like, which apparently was free floating blood to bath our organs in.

  -How very vampiric.

  My soul shudders at the thought. My work on a hybrid system was gone, it was all back to blood bathing our organs everywhere. Damn it. Shouldn't I at least be able to mentally mani….ahhhhhhhh. Our soul burns, my sister screams with me.

  You have gained [Soul Etching] Intermediate 9

  Gain 80 exp

  You have gained skill [Blood Kinesis] Basic 1

  Blood Kineses - the ability to manipulate your blood with your mind, vampire

  Basic - well at least you can stop yourself from bleeding out

  Gain 1 exp

  -Sorry, I didn't mean it sister. I'm sorry sister.

  No, no, it's fine. We're not used to being able to gain skills. It's as much my fault as yours.

  I look at my free floating black red blood, and can feel its ability to shift. The color changed again. I breathe. Am I becoming supernatural now…I breathe again. Sister, it's a good change. We can prevent bleeding out, like the skill said.

  -...

  What is it?

  -...

  Sister?

  -My heart stopped beating, Sara.