Hello readers. Before i proceed any further, i want to know how coherent is my story telling? Does it have any semblance to an organized story? Do you think i am missing the fundamental background building?

  Though i did ask this question previously and did get feedback(I am happy for the advice) it is still not enough.

  Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

  So Please! Tell me what you think.

  Even if you completely bash the story i am fine with it.

  Give me your feedback.

  It will be much appreciated.