Chief pulled a honeycomb out of the palace floor, revealing a hole in the ground. “Erm”, he said, “my apologiezzz, but there izzz no ladder”.

  “Don’t worry, I can rock climb”, Phoebe said, climbing into the hole. “Adventuring 101”. I floated down after her. “Ghosting 101!”. The bees were silent as we descended.

  Before long we were at the bottom. Phoebe brought out a lantern and lit it, revealing a tunnel. The walls were not made of stone, but the exoskeletal remains of long dead queens. A strange fog had settled across the bottom of the hallway. But most striking of all were the trails of blood, not just on the ground, but on the walls and ceiling as well. The lantern dimly illuminated their final struggle, as we passed by a stinger wedged deeply into the wall.

  I sighed. This could’ve been an amazing corridor, but as the entryway it was just melodramatic. So typical of a third-rate ghost to abandon any suspense in their rush to the jump scare. 5/10.

  Phoebe shivered. I gave her a surprised look. Sure it was bad, but it wasn’t that bad. But then again, even I couldn’t scare her. She must have far higher standards of horror. I nodded in appreciation, confident that she would make an excellent ghost some day.

  Then we entered the central chamber. A red pentagram was messily sketched over the ground, with a bee corpse laid over each point. Hovering over the center of the star with his back turned to us was our target, a white orb flanked by two wings made up of shards of glass.

  “Count Boogula, it might be a good idea to retreat and get some more help”, Phoebe whispered. “This guy is really bad news, I can just feel it in the air”.

  “I have to agree, he is a vile foe”, I whispered back. “I expected little from a house squatter using forbidden magic to cover for his lack of talent. But for him to be such an edgelord is beyond even my worst nightmares”.

  The offensive ghost slowly turned towards us, his wings glittering from the lantern light. His face had but one eye, with a pupil black as the deepest night. “Tyoyvsbo. Mczv z oqbnbyox”, he said.

  “What is he saying?”, Phoebe asked nervously. I would’ve facepalmed right there if I had hands. “Ok, let me try to translate with [Spooky Speech]. Testing? ?niaga emoC .ti tog ,hA ?gnitseT”.

  “Adventurers”, the house squatter continued, “you now stand before Hex the First. I have ruled the night for eons. Leave now… or perish”.

  I turned off my [Spooky Speech], snapping back to normal. “Nope, couldn’t catch a word of that. It’s like he’s speaking doubly backwards or something”.

  The edgelord blinked. “…Did you just skip my whole introduction?!”, he replied in anger. Anger! Why, I should be the angry one here!

  “Um… he said his name was ‘Hex the First’”, Phoebe told me. “And he said he’s been around for eons or something like that”. Hex bristled at Phoebe’s summary.

  “Ah, that explains the gibberish speech then”, I responded. “Listen gramps, that fad died out centuries ago, and for very good reason. Your guests either decode it right away, or they just forget about it. It never ends in the cool reveal you’re hoping for”.

  “That was my ancient tongue”, he shot back in his most eye-roll worthy line yet. “For I am the most ancient of evils. The darkest of nightmares. I have brought terror to the living since before… why are you laughing?!”.

  “Oh boy”, I snickered. “‘Ancient tongue’… hahaha! You should consider going into comedy. You’re the goofiest ghost I’ve ever seen”. I glanced at Phoebe, who was giving me quite a strange look now.

  Hex blinked. “Neither of you are leaving here alive”. His wings seemed to vibrate, each shard of glass rotating like a buzz saw. With a flick of his wing, one of the shards shot towards me, grazing my cheek.

  “I’m a ghost. That won’t…”, I reached up to feel the cut across my face, now dripping with ectoplasm. “Huh… silvered glass? That’s new. Watch out Phoebe, our amateur ghost here is coming for your job, too!”.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  Hex’s wings wrapped around him, and then blasted outwards all at once. I dove under the ground and Phoebe squeezed herself into the wall of bee skeletons as glass ricocheted around the cavern.

  “Decent reflexes”, Hex complimented us, as the glass settled down and slowly reformed back into his wings. “But I’m afraid it won’t be enough. [Pyjcvwzbx Bxzfw]”. The world shifted and warped into nothing, just a pitch black void. Phoebe tumbled through the air in free-fall, with no ground to hold her. Hex glanced up at me, his wings vibrating once again, but this time with no cover to hide from their deadly touch.

  I gasped in shock. This was… this was…! “Finally scared, are we?”, Hex chuckled. “Behold my ultimate spell. My greatest achievement”. This was PLAGIARISM! The cardinal sin! Forget all the murder and possession shenanigans, THIS was his greatest crime! The sheer nerve to just copy my spell and pretend like he invented it!

  “You two-bit hack”, my voice was filled with venom. “You would DARE copy my spell?! But you made one fatal mistake! No mere copy can match the original! [Spooky Maze]!”.

  Hex’s eye widened as the world shifted again, the darkness being repulsed by the sight of my old haunted house. Phoebe’s face filled with shock as she bounced off a well-placed trampoline, the only change to the tasteful scenery. “You… you?!”, Hex stuttered. “You know that spell?!”.

  I nodded, satisfied with my work. But then, the darkness pushed back. I struggled as the void crushed inwards, desperately trying to fend it off. But alas, the eternal night won, once again leaving us nothing to look at but the plagiarist’s dumbfounded expression.

  “I underestimated you. To think that another ghost would independently create the same spell… Even though I was victorious in the end, I commend you”. I shuddered. Being complimented like I was his peer was the greatest insult this hack could ever deliver.

  His wings vibrated yet again. Ugh. Didn’t this guy have any other moves?! My greatest spell being bested was bad enough. If I was really getting killed by the same attack he’d used the entire fight too, I think I’d die of humiliation first.

  “Forgetting someone?”, Phoebe said, now at the apex of her bounce. She hovered over Hex’s back like an angel, ready to smite him from the sky. Hex smirked. “Phoebe!”, I yelled. “Behind…”. “I know”, she replied casually, turning around and splitting the hidden ghost in half with her silvered sword.

  All at once we came back into the real world, the illusions and pocket dimensions fading away like a bad dream. Hex gurgled in pain, now cursing the world with two of him, as his wings collapsed over the ground. “Damn… Darkbanes… I will… have my… revenge…”.

  I turned to Phoebe. “What do you think?”. Phoebe smiled. “Oh, he’s dead. I’m impressed he can even talk like that”. “Thank goodness. For a second I thought he might be a recurring villain”.

  “I’m not done yet!”, the very much done ghost said. “Z jcsov lbsw zxspo nzov, Xtxp bxkqhxk vs pzqjcv rqv zoc, Y MYFF BXVQBP!”. Phoebe lifted her sword, ready to end the monologue. “[XPKFXOO JBQKJX]!”. Hex suddenly exploded into a ball of fire, leaving nothing behind.

  “He’s 1000% gone, right?”, I asked for reassurance. “We’ll never have to see him again, right?!”. Phoebe pursed her lips and picked up some of the burnt glass shards now littering the ground. Her silence was answer enough.

  The rest of it was a blur. The bees cheered us as we exited the Catacombs, their queen once again issuing urgent orders for snacks. They gave us our reward, a pot of the finest honey. Phoebe claimed it was worth a lot of money, but it was better to keep as our toast spread.

  “Alright”, she said as we walked back. “You’ve looked down this whole time. What’s up? Sometimes quests just end like that, you know. Bad guy gets away. It’s not your fault”.

  “Phoebe”, I hesitated. “Do I… frighten you?”. “Nope”, she said cheerfully. I sunk even lower into the pits of despair. “No, no, wait! I didn’t mean it like that! You’re definitely powerful. I couldn’t have ever beaten that ghost without you. I just can’t imagine you hurting anyone, is all…”.

  “I just wonder if I’m cut out for this ghost stuff”, I moped. “I thought I was king of the world for a long time. Centuries. Now, I start adventuring, and I can’t scare a slime… my best spell is defeated by some poser… come to think of it, I can’t remember a single person being scared by me since I joined the guild. Hard to get scared by an F-rank”. I sighed.

  “Oh, I get that feeling”. I turned to her, surprised. “You know, I started adventuring even before my sister did. Hunting evil spirits, solving quests… I thought I was a total badass”. She smiled. “Then my sister joined the guild too. She blew right past me, reached A-rank in no time. It just gives you this feeling, like, what am I even doing? All we can do is keep trying, and maybe someday, we’ll finally reach the people we want to be”.

  I had no response to that. If I wanted to live up to my title as King of Scares, I had a lot of work to do. Who knew adventurers fought such fearsome foes? They surely deserve a pay raise!

  Phoebe piled some burnt glass shards on the receptionist’s desk. “We fought a ghost who called himself ‘Hex the First’, had these wings of silvered glass. Extremely powerful. Locked us into this strange void dimension. He probably got away, unfortunately, but the queen is saved”.

  The receptionist looked down at the glass, brow furrowing in confusion. “That… that can’t be… Lucina… your sister said she killed that ghost long ago. Split it right in half, even”.

  We looked at each other. “Oh, it’s definitely coming back, alright”. “Ugh. What a pest”.