“In any case”, the receptionist clapped her hands. “This is quite an achievement. Phoebe, I’ll be sure to bring this to the guildmasters’ attention. For Count Boogula, we can run you through the E-rank exam right away!”.

  Phoebe nodded. “I’d say good luck, but this’ll be a piece of cake for you, Count Boogula”.

  The receptionist grabbed a clipboard and smiled. “Now if you’ll just follow me outside…”.

  “For the first test, all you have to do is lift this rock here”, she pointed towards a round stone, clearly of standardized size.

  I blinked. “Um, I’m afraid that’s too big for me”.

  “Really? Can’t ghosts use telekinesis or something?”, the receptionist looked surprised.

  “Well, yes, but it’s never been my forte”, I admitted. “I mostly focused on studying illusions and inventing my pocket dimension spell. The ghosts who lifted weights all picked on me”.

  “I… see”, the receptionist said, scribbling a note on her clipboard. “Don’t worry, you only need 2/3 in order to pass. In fact, I’m sure you’ll pass this next challenge. All you have to do is get to the top of that rock wall”.

  I flew up to the top, and the receptionist clapped. Somehow that was even more humiliating than failing the last test.

  “Ok, now for the third and final test. No adventuring exam is complete without a monster to slay. I’m afraid the monster you’ll face this time is particularly terrible, Count Boogula…”, she said in a joking tone.

  She stepped towards a wooden crate. Whatever it contained was just sitting there, making no move to escape. I felt a shiver running through my body. What was I so afraid of? This was the E-rank exam, after all. Obviously, it would be a weak monster. Obviously.

  She turned the crate upside down, and out splatted… a slime! I was so overtaken by fear I couldn’t even move, frozen by the slime’s killer intent. Its fearless eyes bobbed around within its disgusting body, slowly coming to rest on its prey… me.

  Of course!! How could I forget the time this receptionist had sent me out to die in that wretched Slime Valley?! If it wasn’t for Phoebe, I’d be dead! But now, she had schemed to separate us under the guise of an ‘exam’! This cunning villainess!

  She had made only one miscalculation. Yes, my only advantage was that I had quickly seen through her assassination plot! A lesser adventurer would’ve died here, but I would retreat to unlive another day!

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  “Count Boogula!”, the receptionist called after me. “What about your exam?”. She frowned at her clipboard, struggling to find another point somehow. Phoebe had even confided to her that she would be no match for Count Boogula in a serious fight. At the bare minimum, surely he must be D-rank at least. But she couldn’t promote him if he didn’t pass the test. She sighed.

  At last I came to a halt, breathing hard. Come to think of it, how did that receptionist control such a fearsome creature? Wait… had he just left her to die?! I mean, assassin or not, that was kind of coldblooded.

  Should I attempt… a rescue mission?! I shook my head. No, no, no! That was just insanity! Nobody could fend off such an ancient evil! I’d just be going down with her.

  Having made my decision, I turned back to the path ahead of me. This was only logical! In the first place, she was the one who released that monster! But no matter how much I rationalized and reworded it, I could not take one step forward.

  Ooooooh… why did I have to be such a hero? With the utmost reluctance, I ran back towards the adventurer’s guild. “I’ll save you!”, I cried as I screeched around the corner.

  “Oh, Count Boogula!”, the receptionist smiled cheerfully. “Did you come back for your exam?”.

  “Wha- why- how- where is the slime?!”. She was alive at least, but things were even worse than I had feared if that creature had escaped! The whole world was doomed!!

  “You want to try again?”, she replied, popping the lid off the crate. “Here you go!”. The slime stared at me balefully with the kind of look that would turn Medusa to stone.

  “AAAAAHHHH!!”, I screamed. “Please, I beg of you! You have no idea what that monster is capable of!”.

  She turned her head. “Count Boogula, could it be… you’re afraid of slimes?”.

  “OF COURSE I’M AFRAID!! Who wouldn’t fear that infernal nightmare?!”.

  She chuckled, then quickly stopped. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. It’s actually more common than you would think. Because it’s such a common monster, sometimes people get traumatic memories of them as children. Still, your fear is particularly strong”.

  She resealed the slime back into its box. I don’t think she understood the urgency, given the flimsy crate it was contained in, but I forced myself to relax a little.

  “Unfortunately, I can’t offer a different test. But there are some guild locations that use legacy exams instead of the standardized ones. They’re often more difficult, but you should still be able to rank up without fighting a slime”. She gave me a reassuring smile.

  …Did this receptionist really plan to assassinate me? I couldn’t believe it. It just couldn’t be. Were slimes actually weak, then? No. Even the cursory glance of a layman should be able to discern its demonic nature. Why then was everyone oblivious?

  I gasped as I finally realized the truth. Slimes were pretending to be weak! They were the most powerful monsters on the planet, and yet they fooled people into thinking they were bottom-tier! Why? Why would they do such a thing?

  It was simple. By lurking beneath their enemies’ notice, they were able to proliferate and spread across the world, with nobody even bothering to cull their numbers. Once their population had grown large enough… world domination. The extinction of all life. And finally, they would fly off to another planet to begin the process anew.

  I shook my head. Some foes were simply beyond me.