Connors finished her tale of woe and took another sip of her drink. Then she pulled the cup away, still glowing and green. And she downed the rest of it in a single gulp.

  There wasn't so much as a sniff, let alone a cough or a splutter this time around. Like she'd totally gotten used to what we were drinking.

  Carter looked between the two of us and grunted.

  "So you ran into the sparklies out there?"

  "We did," I said. “And it was a pretty big engagement.”

  Carter grunted. "Big engagement my ass.”

  "I haven't heard of any bigger stuff," I said.

  "That's because they don't want you to hear about the bigger stuff," he said, winking at me.

  "We don't have time for conspiracy theory bullshit," Connors said.

  "Sure you don't," Carter said, picking up a glass and drying it even though there was no need for it. Like he was looking for something for his hands to do.

  "Back in my day…”

  "Don't hit me with that bullshit, old man," Connors said, hitting him with a look.

  "No bullshit, I promise," he said. "But we used to have engagements like that on the regular back in my day. Back before the war erupted over on the Western Expanse.”

  Everybody went silent at that. Everybody knew the stories about the war on the Western Expanse. It wasn't the biggest war that had erupted between humanity and the livisk over the years, but it was the most recent. There were still some people in the fleet who could remember serving in it.

  Apparently Carter was one of them.

  "You were in that Charlie Foxtrot?" Connors asked.

  "I was," he said after a moment of staring at the glass he was continually drying. “Not a pretty business. And there was a bunch of increased activity with the livisk trying to move their colony stations over a bunch of worlds humanity had stolen fair and square right before the war broke out.”

  I barked out a laugh at that. It was close enough to my own thinking.

  "You want to watch talking like that," Connors said, lowering her voice. "You might not be in the fleet anymore, but we are.”

  “And you're about to get busted down to some scout ship after that story,” he said. “If that had been a victory then it would’ve been a glorious victory, but it wasn’t. So here you are talking to me about it like all the other starfarers who come through here after they had bad run-ins with the sparklies.

  There was something to what he just said.

  "Wait a minute," I said. “So you're saying we're not the only ones to come through here with a story like that?"

  "I'm not saying anything one way or another," he said, ostentatiously looking up to the ceiling.

  Which was silly. The listening devices weren't in the ceiling, or at least I was pretty sure they weren't in the ceiling. There was no need to install listening devices like in the ancient days of 20th century spy craft since everybody was literally carrying a communication device with them that was always on.

  Ostensibly because it was a way for the companies to offer you an excellent standard of service. But everybody knew they were always listening. The polite fiction that they weren't had gone away centuries ago.

  "Anyway," he said, holding up the glass he'd been drying and inspecting it in the light. “There was a lot of livisk activity out on the outskirts where our territory came together before the business in the Western Expanse. Wouldn't be surprised if things were heating up again. Maybe their new empress wants to stretch herself a little. Prove to the crowd back home that she can gain territory or some other bullshit like that."

  I didn't exactly like the idea of fighting the livisk, but it was a duty I would do. Still, the idea of something happening that would be on the level of what happened on the Western Expanse, something even worse maybe, was enough to send a chill through me.

  I had every confidence that humanity would… Well, maybe we wouldn't win, but we might bring them to a stalemate again. But a lot of people would die to maintain that status quo because their empress was trying to stretch out and prove she had the warrior spirit they seemed to demand in that society.

  I shook my head and took another sip of my drink. I'd been nursing this one. I figured I was going to be reporting to our new assignment as soon as I finally got back to my actual quarters and got our orders to move to a new ship.

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  There was probably a ship out there on the dock that was pissed off because the captain and XO were taking their sweet time getting out there, but the fleet could go fuck itself.

  Again, I was mildly surprised at the thought as it ran through my head, and then I decided I didn't care.

  "So you met up with a livisk woman," Carter said, turning his attention to me.

  "I did," I said, taking another sip of my drink as I thought of the memory.

  As happened almost every time I thought of her, every time I closed my eyes, her face was suddenly there in front of me in my imagination. Those deep green eyes. The orange hair done up in a ponytail and surrounded by a shield. Not a hair out of place even though we'd fought each other and then been involved in a direct hit on the ship.

  And the body that was hinted at under that armor… Sure I knew armor could hide things, but there was no hiding how she looked in that stuff. I thought about her out of that armor, and then I pushed the thought away.

  I didn't know why she kept dominating my thoughts like that, but I was going to ignore it, damn it. Even though thinking about her was almost enough to feel like she was right there beside me again.

  "You have to watch about that. Dangerous business, getting in close quarters combat with a livisk like that. Especially a pretty one."

  "Did I say she was pretty?" I asked, looking up at him.

  "They're all pretty," he said. “Especially if you get into close combat."

  "What if Stewart here isn't into the ladies?" Connors asked.

  Again, Carter grunted. The same grunt he did when he was contemplating a potential new war brewing between humanity and the livisk. Nice to think that he considered my sexuality on the same level as matters of galactic import like that.

  I've seen him here at the bar trying to find a friend to spend the night with. Carter said. "If Bill here is in the closet, then he's so deep that he's having tea with a fawn and trying to avoid the White Witch.”

  "The what?" Connors asked.

  "Never mind," I said, shaking my head.

  "You have to be careful about fighting the livisk,” Carter said. "That can be dangerous. I've known men who have come back from one-on-one combat with them changed."

  "What's so different about one-on-one combat?" I asked.

  Carter looked at me. It was a piercing look. The kind of look that said he was looking for something behind my eyes and wondering if he’d found it.

  "Men just come back changed sometimes," he finally said with a shrug. "And sometimes they don't."

  "You say so," I said, taking another sip. "I think I'm going to go have a little sit down and just enjoy being in the quiet for a moment."

  "In the quiet?" Connors asked, chuckling.

  She was swaying ever so slightly. Like maybe she'd had a little too much. I looked down at the glowing green liquid in my hands and wondered if I was having a little too much as well.

  What the fuck ever. It's not like I’d be able to drink much once we were back out in space.

  Hopefully it would be a nice boring patrol in some out of the way area to punish us. Not being put in a place where we were likely to get blown out of the stars.

  I didn't think my fuck up was quite on that level, but you never knew. Especially with the way I'd insulted the admiral earlier. I still wondered what the hell was wrong with me that I'd let my tongue loosen up like that.

  I walked over to the other side of the bar. I stared down at the glowing green cup and wondered what had happened to bring me to this moment.

  Stupid Jacks. It was his fault for folding the fleet out that close to the planet. The plan was so stupid that anybody could have seen it for the idiocy it was. I even tried to bring it up, and he'd smacked me down.

  I wondered if that was something that was being conveniently ignored by the board of inquiry that looked into the incident, or if the recording of me telling him he was being a dumbass in the politest and most deferential fleet language I could muster had simply disappeared from the record like inconvenient things so often did if someone had the right connections.

  I sighed and took another sip of my drink.

  "So you met one of them in single combat."

  I jumped just a little on the inside, but I was proud that I didn't let any of that startle show.

  I turned to look at a guy who looked rough. Like he was in a fleet uniform, but it was rumpled. He had the markings that said he was part of the marines. A lieutenant colonel, no less.

  "Can I help you?" I asked, really not wanting to get into another conversation with another oldster. Especially somebody who was probably looking down on me after hearing our story.

  If he knew about me getting into single combat with that livisk then he’d no doubt heard Connors telling our tale of woe.

  He moved to sit next to me.

  "I'd rather drink alone right now, if you don't mind."

  "I'm sure you would," he said. "Do you see her face every time you close your eyes?"

  I blinked, and of course her face was there staring back at me. A mixture of defiance and a little half smile.

  I turned to look at him.

  I didn't answer. Of course, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but that didn't stop him from chuckling and shaking his head.

  "Yeah, I thought that might be the case."

  "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, taking another sip.

  "Close your eyes right now."

  "I'm not dancing to your tune, old man," I said.

  "That's Lieutenant Colonel to you," he said.

  "And I'm captain of a ship."

  "I don't see your ship right now," he said. "You're in between assignments."

  I sighed and closed my eyes, and there she was.

  It was funny. Every time I closed my eyes it was a different look from her. Like right now she seemed concerned. Pensive. Like maybe she was thinking about something.

  I opened my eyes, and she disappeared. I almost wanted to close my eyes again just so I could see that face.

  "It's dangerous," my new companion said.

  "Getting in a fight with the livisk?” I asked, trying to brush it off and sound breezy. "I didn't think it was all that bad, to be honest. I don't know what everyone is going on about."

  "Single combat is different from facing down one of their armies," he said with a grunt. "When you're facing them down one-on-one, you feel it."

  "What do you feel?" I asked.

  The overwhelming urge to be with them. The feeling that I would do anything for her. That sense that I was meant to be with her and only her. Like we were fated to be together and somehow the galaxy had thrown us together because of that fate.

  Again, I didn't give voice to any of that. Even though it all ran through my head. Even though it had been running through my head on repeat for the last couple of weeks.

  What the hell was wrong with me?