Congratutions Elena S. Trudeau! You have been chosen to participate in the beta test for The Game Of The Gods! This game includes a non-disclosure agreement which was automatically signed by you!

  You are tester number 5 out of 2,000,000.

  As a Beta Tester, you have the right to The Tutorial. Would you like to take it?

  [Yes] [Remind Me In An Hour] [No]

  My eyes flutter open, staring at the annoying blue light that had filtered through my eyelids. “Remind me in an hour.” I mumble, then close my eyes again.

  Dreamnd attempts to retake me, but the blue light still continues to filter through. It takes a few moments for my half-asleep brain to catch up with me and I reopen my eyes.

  Are You Sure?

  [Yes] [No]

  I rub my eyes and blink a few times, waiting for the strange blue screen hovering above my head to expin itself.

  “Well this is new.” I say out loud, making sure that I’m actually awake and not still dreaming. “That old shrink is going to have a field day with this one… Uh no, I’m not sure.”

  The screen disappears and the first one appears.

  So it’s finally happened, huh? I’ve fully lost it. Sarah, my therapist, will have so many questions. I shudder.

  I hate when extradimensional blue screens make me question my reality.

  I gre at the blue screen in front of me, making sure that it knows that I’m displeased with it.

  There are several facts to consider in this situation. First: I don’t see a projector producing this screen. Second: It is asking me if I want to take a tutorial, and tutorials usually expin things, like why a giant blue screen has appeared in my vision. Third: Today is Saturday, and I had important pns like being bored on my phone and watching videos on my computer.

  I suppose those pns can wait, but only because I’m being nice to you Mr. Blue-Screen.

  I lift my hand up slowly, then pause for a second before pressing the [Yes] button. The blue screen is surprisingly solid as my hand touches it.

  The screen disappears, repced by a new one.

  Thank you for taking the tutorial! During the duration of the tutorial you will have unlimited lives, but you get a prize if you manage to die less than twice! So py carefully! Also, feel free to report any bugs you encounter using the command [Tutorial Report] and inform us of the problem.

  Your first task is to choose a weapon off the wall!

  Thanks for your support and please look forward to the big release date in one or two years time (liable to change).

  I really hope this is secretly a mobile game, because I don’t know about the other voices in my head, but I really don’t like the idea of dying.

  A bright light extends from the screen wrapping around me and blinding me to the world. The light slowly disappears and I stumble forwards as I find myself standing up, instead of lying down in my comfortable bed.

  Hey! You didn’t tell me I’d be leaving my bed.

  I look around for a blue screen to gre at, but only find a rge white hallway with racks lining the walls.

  I look closer at the racks to see a strange array of medieval weaponry and is that a gun? “What the hell? I would’ve gotten dressed if I knew you were going to teleport me.” I tell the void. No one responds from the world around me. Thankfully I’m wearing my underthings and a rge light blue shirt keeps most of my modesty.

  Have you fully gone insane? A feminine voice echoes through my head, followed by a small giggle.

  I ignore her, she just wants me to be grumpy.

  I turn my head to look both ways down the hallway. The scenery stays the same no matter where I look. Just more racks of weapons.

  This certainly isn’t how I expected my Saturday to go.

  I know what the blue window wants me to do, but I really should know better than to listen to the voices in my head by this point.

  With nothing else to do, I start looking at the weapons on the wall. I’ve never had a hallucination like this one before, and I might as well see where it leads.

  Or am I dreaming?

  Nah.

  Eventually my gaze returns to the shotgun and I sigh.

  “[Tutorial Report] Hey there godly overlords, but guns seem a tad bit unbanced when compared to…” I point to a random sword. “A longsword.”

  I pause, waiting for any kind of response, then sigh when none comes. I can wield a dagger as well as any completely-sane-girl. I’ve got the whole sshy sshy bit down. But I’ve never even touched a gun, let alone fired one. So if someone walks up to me with a gun, I might be the tiniest bit screwed.

  Oh well, dying might be an interesting experience at least.

  I’m not completely averse to killing someone if I have to. I’ve seen enough of the terrible shit that people do.

  I shake my head, clearing my mind, then continue along the weapon rack.

  My gaze catches on a shot-gun. I have to admit, I could see myself as a gun toting cow-girl. Or an insane gun wielding maniac. Potato-potato.

  I’d just have to learn how to shoot a gun. And reload it. And aim it. Do shotguns have safeties?

  It can’t be too hard, right?

  A blue window pops up, interrupting my thoughts.

  Thank you for your report! While we do see the benefits of a gun, we assure you that we have designed all of the weapons at your disposal to be (mostly) banced in power! So make your choice without worries!

  -Thoth

  I read the window, then shrug. There went my dream of being a gun-totin’ cow-girl. It is too bad, I was looking forward to all of the bar fights I could’ve stopped while chewing a long piece of grass.

  “You boys itching for a fight?” I put my hands above my waist, my eyes narrowing on an imaginary evildoer. I giggle to myself as I drop the charade.

  My eyes catch on something and I walk over curiously.

  A pair of bck, shoulder length ce gloves sit by themselves on a rack. There’s nothing overtly special about them, but something about them calls to me. They just… feel right, y’know?

  You only live once.

  I pick up the gloves and put them on my hands, stretching my fingers comfortably as the fabric shifts to fit my hands perfectly.

  I smile, then smile wider as the world shifts around me.

  I stand on a grassy pin of rolling hills. I turn to look at the sun, which slowly sets over the horizon. The wind blows through the grass, making it lean away from me, my hair moves lightly with the wind.

  “Hello.” A voice says from behind me.

  I freeze. I haven’t heard this voice before. This one sounds more real that the ones usually bouncing around in my brain. I turn around, and am happy to see a real living person watching me.

  Whoever this person is, I like her already. She gives off a vibe that reminds me of my grandmother.

  We study each other until I break the silence. “Hello, who are you? Are you real?”

  She looks taken aback for a moment before responding. “I’m your instructor. Shey.” She bows her head to me, while keeping eye contact, in a surprisingly formal motion. “And I am as real as you are.” She smiles, “Would you give me the pleasure of having your name?”

  And how real are you Elena? The feminine voice asks. I ignore her again.

  I give a curtsy that I’ve practiced in front of the mirror more times than I’d like to admit. It doesn’t look right with only a rge shirt to use, but it is an elegant motion if I do say so myself.

  And I do say so.

  “I’m Elena. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  I rise from my curtsy, and watch as Shey waves her hand in the air, seemingly motioning at nothing. A moment ter, wooden chairs and a table grow out of the ground next to us. A tea set then grows out of the table. Shey picks up the tea pot and pours both of us a surprisingly delicious smelling tea.

  Our young heroine encounters a strange woman who can make things appear from thin air. The strange woman who calls herself “Shey” tells the young heroine that she is her “instructor”. What will our intrepid heroine do next? Find out next time on-

  I stop my brain before it tries to cut to commercial.

  I take a deep breath and mentally apologize to myself for zoning out. I have an odd way of coping with strange situations.

  I wonder what Sarah would make of that? She always does make the funniest assumptions when dealing with me. It’s-

  “Hello? Are you alright? Sometimes I forget what it must be like your first time in the gods’ little… game.” Shey’s words bring me back to the present.

  “No, no, it’s fine. I was just a little shocked is all.” I smile at her, hoping to smoothe over my distractedness.

  I sit down on the chair across from her and pick up the cup of tea she’d prepared for me. It really is aromatic. It reminds me of peppermint. I don’t drink the strange drink. “So, you’re my instructor. What exactly are you instructing me on?”

  Shey sits down as well, and takes a sip of her tea. “Well, a lot of things actually… How do I put this?” She pauses, her gaze moving to the slowly setting sun. “Your pnet is not the first to experience the changes that are coming, and I doubt it will be the st.” She sets her cup down on the table. “Unfortunately, not all pnets are as resilient as I hope yours will be. Too many don’t even make it through the Beta stages before all the Beta pyers die.” She shrugs. “That is why I, and other instructors like me, are here. Our job is to make sure that you live as long as possible and survive the tragedies that the gods are about to throw at you-”

  “When you say gods… Who- or should I say what are you?” I motion towards the chair and tables that appeared out of nowhere. “Are you a god?”

  “Hah! A god. No. No, the day that all the gods die is the day I can finally live in peace. If I could, I would kill them all myself.” She shows all her teeth in a dangerous smile that makes my stomach turn. “No, in fact, I was once a normal human like you, no offense.”

  I wonder what the tea tastes like, is it even real?

  Cadet! Pay attention, the woman in front of you is talking about important world-destroying stuff.

  Aye-Aye, Captain!

  “No offense taken, I pride myself on my normalcy.” I say, tearing my gaze away from the tea.

  Shey nods her head. “Some of us have learned to game the system.” She smiles at a private joke “In fact, it’s because of my knowledge of the system that I’ve been chosen as an instructor. The program is… new, so there are a few kinks we are still figuring out.”

  I open my mouth to ask another question, but she holds up her hand, stopping me.

  “I’m afraid we have less time than I’d hoped to prepare you.” She looks at the sun which is almost over the horizon. “First, think the word [Status]”

  [Status]

  General Info: Elena S. Trudeau

  Age:16

  Lvl: 1

  Css: N/A

  Mana: 80

  Sponsor: N/A

  Titles: Beta Tester, Crazy In A Good Way (Is that even possible?), Watched By The Gods

  Special conditions: Most Definitely Not-Normal

  Physical Condition: Healthy

  Physicality: Athletic 84%

  Brilliance: Graduate 95%

  Equipment: Gloves(unique)

  “Good. I’lll just go over the important parts before we part ways. Different worlds work differently, so listen close. Mana. It’s your lifeblood, and if you run out of it at an important moment, you will die. Keep an eye on it.”

  Her head tilts as she reads something in front of her that I can’t see, then she frowns. “Ask the system for expnations on your titles or anything really. It might expin things to you, or it might not.” She leans forward, the tea cups forgotten. “What did you choose from the equipment room?”

  Captain! The brain has too many questions! What do we do?

  We’ll have to ignore them Cadet. I’m afraid we’ll have to press the Big Red Button.

  Captain? You can’t mean… That button? The horrifying, terror inducing, world breaking Big Red Button?!

  Yes. I order you to press the Stop Asking Questions Button.

  Noooooooooooooooo!!!!

  I clear my throat. Then take off my gloves and hold them out to her. “I chose these.”

  She takes them and studies them closely. The gloves glow in her hands, changing as they do. I lean in closer to get a better look.

  They keep their silky bckness, but silver Egyptian hieroglyphics glow all along its length, spiraling down the long sleeves until they reach the elbows where the gloves end.

  “Hm. I can’t see all they can do…” She turns the gloves over, examining the hieroglyphs, then looks up with a smile. “It seems like you found something impressive. For now, say [Identify Equipment: Gloves].”

  “[Identify Equipment: Gloves]”

  Item: Gloves Of The Ancients

  Owner: Elena S. Trudeau

  Abilities: Votile Looks, Indestructible, ???

  Shey hands the gloves back to me and I put them back on my hands, my gaze still caught by the silver hieroglyphs. “The next stage will have you facing terrifying creatures. The Tutorial is retively safe, so if you die, the gods will grant you mercy and give you life again. Do not expect such kindness when you leave this realm. Good luck, Elena Trudeau and I hope to see you again.”

  She hands me a small book, and I hold it in front of me, not sure what to do with it.

  She smiles, “Simply say, [Pce in Inventory] and whatever you’re holding will enter your inventory. I’m sure you’ll figure the rest out.” Shey’s eyes narrow as she reads something I can’t see. “And those will be my st words to you for a while. I hope you survive what is coming.”

  My vision grows hazy at her st words and the world blurs together.

  “Good luck.”

  My eyes close and I pass out.