“If they vote against you Vim, what will you do?” Porka asked.

  I shrugged. “Depends on how the vote actually goes, Porka. If they just remove me from my position, then nothing much will change. I’ll still travel around, helping those who need my help,” I said. “Or want it,” I added after a moment of thought.

  There was no reason to bring up to her my plan. My real one. Not yet anyway. I was still coming to terms with it myself, after all.

  I'd made a decision, now I just needed to decide how I was going to really carry it out.

  Porka sighed, and not just at me. “I can’t believe they’ve become so stupid. If they remove you they may as well remove all of us too. Without you, how many of our people will suffer? Or be lost to us? There are entire villages that only you even know about, or where they’re at, for crying out loud,” Porka said.

  I nodded, but only because she was simply venting and not because she wanted me to actually agree with her. She continued, even as a cat ran between us and down the path heading back where we’d just come from.

  “The Chronicler has gone mad then. They all have. I mean honestly… if we had trouble with the humans, or another church, what could they do about it without you? It’s not like anyone is even strong enough anymore to face them other than you. Lilly maybe, but she’s long decided to not spill her blood for us anymore,” Porka continued to ramble her thoughts as we walked through the wheat fields.

  The wheat here was taller than the wheat Fly and I had walked through on the way here. These stalks were nearly as tall as Porka, blocking most of the surrounding area from sight. At least, her sight.

  We weren’t far from her home. We could see the roofs nearby, particularly the bright red one, but we were far enough that we both knew we were alone. Not even her mischievous children would be nearby. Though that might just be because they were playing with Fly.

  The foxes had been very happy to meet a bird. Lomi had even asked for a feather. I had been surprised to see Fly hand one over. Fly seemed to not like it when people made a big deal out of her being a bird, or even hinting at it. Though maybe when it were young kids nearer her age than us old folks she had more leeway towards.

  “I’m glad Lomi seems to be doing so well,” I said, hoping to switch topics a little. Porka had been complaining about the vote for a good dozen minutes now and I was tired of listening to it.

  “She’s perfectly fine. If not for the fact she has little Horn wrapped around her finger, I’d not believe anyone if they told me she hadn’t popped out of me like all the rest had,” Porka said with a grin.

  “Daughter by right and marriage, then,” I suggested.

  Porka nodded happily. “Yes. I look forward to it. Though I worry a tad, if you’ll allow me to.”

  “Worry…? How so?” I asked. From what I had seen Lomi had been doing fine. Wonderfully fine. After the initial meet and greet between us all, and the many questions she had flung at me about Renn and others, she had ran off with the rest of the fox children to play with Fly. She had acted, and seemed, as comfortable here as any of the other children. More so, somehow, even. There hadn’t been anything to tell me that Porka should be worried.

  “I worry she has no affection for Horn. I think she’s just… still too young, or maybe a late bloomer. But as of now I don’t think she’s even recognized he’s anything more than a sibling,” Porka said.

  Ah. “Well, I mean… they are still young. Even for you foxes,” I said. Lomi was a tad taller than Fly, but not by much. She was still a child, at least in appearance, even if likely in her twenties or so by now.

  “By her age I was already sneaking off with Bjorn every chance I could get,” Porka said.

  I sighed at her. “Well, don’t rush them,” I said gently.

  Really. Why was the world trying to remind me so often about the steps of life? Was it trying to make a point? Or was I just more acutely aware of it all thanks to my circumstances?

  First Fly and all her weird questions and now this. Seriously.

  “I won’t of course. I just worry, Vim. They’re my children. My lovely kits… I just want them to be happy, always,” Porka said.

  I nodded. Her beauty was only amplified when she spoke about such things. Her beauty made me think of Renn, somehow.

  “You’re going to need more sons, at this rate,” I said lightly. Her recent child, born not too long after Renn and I had left last time, was already walking around. She couldn’t talk yet, and her ears were far smaller than her siblings, but she seemed healthy and fine.

  Porka giggled at me. “Sons are nice, but I prefer daughters. They’re cuter,” she said.

  “And your other children?” I asked.

  “Yelma has matured rather well. You’d not think her to be the youngest of all them anymore. She’s a quiet girl but has a sharp wit. She’s been spending most of her time with Trixalla lately, learning from her. Though what she’s been learning I’m still trying to figure out. Something to do with politics. Pelka on the other hand, even though she’s been given responsibilities hasn’t matured much. She does her job very well, and has been learning properly alongside Montclair and that human boy. Trim. I worry she’s more like me, regretfully. I know it’s odd to say it, since I had just worried and wished that Lomi had been more like me, but it’s true. I wish Pelka wasn’t,” Porka said with a sigh.

  “I’m afraid to ask your meaning,” I said lightly.

  Porka laughed as another cat ran in front of us, going from one wheat field to the other. It had been an orange one. “Pelka likes that human boy. Tim. They’re basically the opposite of Lomi and Horn. She wants him, he doesn’t even realize it,” Porka said.

  Poor kid. “Tim’s the son of the lord right?” I verified, straining my memories.

  Porka nodded. “Yes. Or well, he’s the nephew. He’s the heir though, so he may as well be the son,” Porka explained.

  Right. Not the son. The heir. He had been there when I had been here last time and had negotiated a new contract with the human settlement concerning the wheat.

  “Least she’s still here…? Has she had any more desire to head out into the world on her own?” I asked. Last time I’d been here the young fox had asked me for permission to venture out on her own.

  “She has, but not as often. Like I said, she’s infatuated with that human lad. Right now he’s all she really cares about. She gets in trouble sometimes at the human village, when she goes to help out the lord. She spends more time with the boy than she should working,” Porka said with a small grin.

  “Well… that’s the better result for now, at least,” I said lightly.

  Porka nodded, but she too didn’t speak further on it. She likely had the same thoughts about it I did.

  The moment she lost fascination with that boy, for one reason or another, the desire to venture forth and explore the world would likely return. With a vengeance. Unless of course she settled down with the boy and had children.

  “How’s the contract going anyway?” I asked, deciding to ignore the young girl’s inevitable fate.

  “Fine and well. We had a few fields fail to produce as well as they should have last harvest, but it wasn’t too bad. We simply sold some of our stores to compensate, out of request. They had worried the price of flour would have gone too high had we not done so,” Porka said.

  I nodded. Yes. The price of bread, or flour, was indeed a concern to those in power. Enough so they’d go through great lengths to ensure it didn’t become an issue.

  Revolts happened when people couldn’t make bread, or rather couldn’t afford to.

  “Really Vim we’ve all been fine. Mork and Trixalla have been happy. Montclair is his typical self. We foxes are doing well, and growing too,” Porka said with a grin as she touched her belly.

  Yes. It was a little bigger than normal. It made her beauty glow even greater.

  Another reminder.

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  “I’m glad to hear that. On my end, other than this upcoming vote, all has been well. Within reason, at least. Little things like Lumen’s chaos or Fly’s little issue, here and there, but nothing too drastic,” I said.

  Porka sighed at me. “You’re severely underplaying the vote. But fine. Meriah was here recently. A few months ago in fact,” Porka then said.

  “A few months ago?” I asked. That made no sense, the letter I had gotten about that had surely been longer than that…

  “She came back. To see if you’d come through lately or not,” Porka explained.

  Oh.

  Uh oh.

  “She’s looking for me,” I said upon realizing it.

  “Seems so. She said if you showed up and you still haven’t met her, to tell you that she’ll be traveling the western route for the next season or two. I think she’s waiting for you,” Porka said.

  I nodded. “I’ll make sure to find her,” I said.

  “She’s really such a handful. She could just stay here and wait for you! She’d have met you by now,” Porka said with a sigh.

  “Meriah doesn’t do well in one place for long, you know that,” I said.

  “I do, I do… I guess. Ok. Not really, no. I couldn’t imagine traveling so much, Vim. How would you be able to raise a child on the road?” Porka asked.

  “Some people do it just fine,” I said lightly. Not to mention I doubted Meriah would ever have a child.

  “Hmph. Wouldn’t be able to make children either, I bet. I don’t know about everyone else but I need a soft bed,” Porka said happily.

  I wanted to sigh, since I felt almost as if she was doing it on purpose. But I knew she wasn’t. She was just full of glee. Her family was happy, healthy, and strong. And growing. Odds are, based off the size of her belly; she had only recently learned she was pregnant again. Maybe a month or two ago at best.

  To her the news was still fresh… and thus her glow. Her happiness was pure, and although usually made me want to bask in it… I instead wanted to run from it.

  Wait…

  I slowed a bit and flinched.

  “Vim…?” Porka worriedly said my name, as I sighed and remembered something I had forgotten.

  “Lilly had been pregnant,” I said. Odds are her baby had been recently born too. She didn’t give birth as quickly as Porka, or humans. It took far longer than nine months, but by now there was no doubt the child had been born.

  “Had been. She gave birth to a daughter only a couple months ago. Meriah told us on her visit,” Porka said.

  Great. Just wonderful.

  That meant Renn was there. Seeing that baby. Holding it.

  Really. The world was being strangely annoying. In far more ways than one.

  “You look annoyed. Why…? It’s a happy thing, Vim,” Porka asked.

  “It is. When Meriah was here, either time, did she mention to you anything about Lomi’s village?” I asked as I returned to walking. Porka swiftly joined me, unfazed.

  Porka frowned and shook her head. “No? She spoke to Lomi about it, I’m sure, but neither of them have mentioned it. You know how Meriah is Vim, she’s a private person. And Lomi, well… I think she just doesn’t want to really think of her home or her family anymore. She didn’t even cry, I don’t think, when Meriah told her whatever she had found out,” Porka said.

  Oh…? I knew for a fact that Meriah had told Lomi everything. That was kind of Meriah’s only real fault. She revealed the whole truth, completely, to those who were involved to it. Sometimes she revealed too much, or a truth that should have been kept hidden for one reason or another. There have been many times her blunt honesty had caused issues. Bad ones.

  Yet that meant either Porka was right and Lomi simply didn’t care, didn’t want to, or Lomi was made of firmer stuff than I had thought.

  “She used to have nightmares, does she still?” I asked.

  “Not anymore. She did when she first came here, for a few months, but they faded quickly,” Porka said with a smile.

  I nodded, pleased to hear it. Very pleased.

  “Really Vim, what’s wrong? You scowl, and then smile happily. What’s going on?” Porka asked, pointing out my own faults and issues.

  “A lot. Yet nothing really, all the same.”

  Porka sighed as we rounded a small bend in the wheat. We were now heading back to her home.

  The two of us walked quietly for a moment as I tried to weigh the upcoming issues in my mind. The ones I’d need to address soon, if not immediately.

  Meriah. The vote. Fly, and then of course that human saint and her prophecies.

  Were those issues enough to keep me safe from Renn’s inevitably question? Or worry?

  She’s already brought up several times how she worried I’d not taken our relationship a step further. If she spent the last few weeks holding a baby, and basking in its love and warmth, there was little doubt in my mind that worry will be renewed rather fiercely. Which meant she’d bring it up again, or fret and worry over it.

  I really was a bastard. Maybe Fly was right, maybe I was a bad husband.

  I’ve been bad at many things in my life. I’ve been a bad man often. Yet I had never thought I’d be a terrible husband. I used to think of myself of something of a romantic once, I wonder what happened…?

  “Are you happy, Porka?” I asked after a moment.

  “Hm…? Haven’t you been listening Vim? Yes. Of course I am,” she said.

  I nodded, glad to hear it. I had been listening, and watching. She was utterly glowing in joy and it showed. But it still was relieving to hear it said aloud.

  “How about you Vim? Are you happy?” Porka then asked.

  Blinking gently, I kept myself from slowing. I didn’t want her to realize how deeply her question had affected me, so I pretended to smile and shrug. “As well as I can be,” I lied.

  She hummed, and I would have thought she had seen through me but she looked away and warmly smiled. She had believed my lie.

  Porka was as smart as she was beautiful, but she was no Renn. Not able to read me. A good thing too.

  “Would you like to leave the young bird here?” she then asked, changing topics.

  “I’ll ask… but I’d prefer not to. She’s… well. A bird,” I said gently.

  Porka nodded. “Yes. A sad reality. It’d be harsh here for her. She’d be stuck inside most of the time, and only able to venture out occasionally. It’d be rough for her Vim, since the kids are always running around outside, doing one thing or another. She’d likely end up lonely eventually, if she stayed here,” Porka quickly came to the same conclusion I had about it.

  I nodded. “Yes. Though if she does ask, I’ll let her know you’re okay with it. At least for awhile,” I said.

  “Oh definitely. It’d do good for my children to have a friend their age like her anyway. They have human friends, but those aren’t the same you know,” Porka said.

  Right. Not the same at all.

  Our kind could live for generations. Friendships amongst our kind were… special, thanks to how long they could last.

  Maybe I should let her stay here for a few days. These few days could be invaluable to the kids, granting them memories they’d remember forever.

  My burden felt a little heavier than usual as I realized I was as cruel as the world to my people. I shouldn’t debate letting Fly stay here for days, I should be debating letting her stay here for months or years. As long as she wanted to.

  I should be able to grant them such a simple joy. To live in peace. To live without fear or worry, no matter where.

  Maybe the vote was needed.

  Maybe I really was a failure.

  “Children really make it all worth it… it’s really too bad Trixalla can’t have any,” Porka said gently.

  I nodded and softly. “Mhm.”

  “Are there any birds like her left Vim? The few I knew are gone now… other than Lilly, of course, but I couldn’t imagine Lilly letting her stay with them. She’s so prickly,” Porka said as she thought of it.

  “There are birds, yes. Though only a few like her, what with all her feathers and animal legs. Most are like Lilly, or Rapti. There’s Crane too, nearby,” I said.

  “Crane’s gone insane, calling for that vote. I’d not trust her with Fly even if she would look after her,” Porka said stiffly.

  I nodded, but agreed for a different reason. Crane was too feeble minded. Too much a prey.

  If Fly couldn’t mingle with those at the Bell Church she’d no way be able to mingle with Crane. Not a chance.

  “Well, at least she has possibilities. I’m sure you know where to take her. You always do,” Porka said happily.

  Did I…? Didn’t feel like it.

  “I know Lomi’s family being lost was a horrible thing… but I’m so glad she’s here, Vim. I love having so many children, and watching them grow. The mere thought that I may even start to have grandchildren soon, someday, makes me so excited too,” Porka said.

  I smiled and nodded at the happy mother. “I’m glad too, Porka. I really am,” I said honestly.

  It was the truth, after all. Porka had earned her happiness. It was only right she got to indulge in it.

  “Speaking of children, love and all the happy stuff that goes into it… when are you going to tell me about her?” Porka then asked.

  I slowed to a stop as I glanced at Porka, who had a huge smirk on her face. She looked excited, waiting for me to say something.

  Odds are she was waiting for me to huff at her and shake my head. To either ignore her or tell her off.

  Talking about my personal life, in any form, was something I hated to do. Despised it. It made me itch in a place I didn’t want to acknowledge.

  So I did want to ignore her question. To instead change topics, and ask a question of my own. To avoid it. To deny the truth, even to her… who had asked out of pure and simple joy. She was happy, so she wanted to hear how and why I was happy too. So that we could share in our happiness, together.

  Porka wanted to hear about Renn. Someone I would normally keep secret. Especially when it came to my own feelings and thoughts.

  So… Instead changing topics, or lying, I instead smiled back and nodded. “I thought you’d never ask,” I said, deciding to just accept it.

  I’ve kept fighting it. Arguing with it. Avoiding it. And whenever I did all it brought was a headache. Or worry.

  Maybe it was time I tried to do the opposite.

  So as we returned home, I went ahead and told Porka all about Renn… the woman who had somehow found my heart, and then promptly stolen it.

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