Volume 2 Chapter 27

  While the emperor was taking a bath, a cultivator appeared before the throne of the empire. He flew in from the west, and, recognizing the throne of the empire, and that there was man sitting upon it, he abruptly landed before the throne. He kowtowed and shouted out “Sean Zang appears before the emperor!”

  The crowd turned, saw him kowtowing, and they laughed, for they knew that the emperor was in the men’s bath at the moment. Sean Zang continued to kowtow as the old man on the throne abruptly came awake. He looked around in confusion as he tried to figure out what was going on.

  “Who kowtows before the throne?” he asked at last.

  “My name is Sean Zang,” the man said. “I was sent ahead by my family to bear a message to the emperor. Not long ago, an imperial justicar appeared at my home and—”

  “Stop talking!” the man on the throne shouted.

  Sean Zang fell silent, and he resumed his kowtow.

  “Bear you a message from this justicar?” the man on the throne asked.

  “I bear a letter written in his hand,” Sean Zang said.

  “Show it to me,” the man on the throne commanded. “You are permitted to stand and deliver to me any message. I shall see that the emperor’s eyes, his ears, and his hands receive it.”

  “Yes, your imperial majesty,” Sean Zang said, and he stood. He whispered in the man named Erk’s ear.

  “The Zang family obeys the emperors commands to attend him at court. We come with all swiftness that we can manage. They sent me ahead to arrange the imperial audience with his servants. I bear on my body a letter from the head of the Zang household.”

  The man named Erk blinked. “Hand me this letter,” he instructed.

  Sean Zang handed him a letter.

  “I ask for a volunteer from the audience. Who would like to perform a service for the empire today? Stand if you are willing!” the man named Erk said.

  Almost everyone in the audience stood. At random, the man named Erk pointed at a child in the front row. “You, what is your name?” he asked.

  “Runo,” the boy said.

  “Take this letter from my hand and deliver it to the guard at the gate,” the man named Erk declared. He took off his mask. “And hand this to the guard of the gate as well.”

  Wordlessly, the boy performed the errand. The boy put the mask on his face, ran to the gate, and handed over the letter.

  “Good job, lad,” the guard at the gate said. “Now take off the mask and hand it to me as well, if you would.”

  The boy complied, and once the guard of the gate had both the mask and the letter in hand, he ran into the imperial bath.

  “Sean Zang, for your service today, you are granted the following privilege,” the man named Erk announced. “You are permitted to bow before the throne of the emperor. Would you like to perform this service for the empire today?”

  “If I may serve the empire by kowtowing to the throne, then I shall,” Sean Zang said formally, and the crowd cheered as they watched a mighty air cultivator kowtow to the throne of the empire. A moment later, the guard of the gate returned wearing the mask that had been seen on the face of the man named Erk.

  “The emperor thanks the messenger of the Zang family for the message. Sean Zang is permitted to attend him in the bath today. The man named Erk is commanded to show him the way.”

  “Ah, okay,” the man named Erk said, and he got off the throne. “It seems that I am no longer emperor.”

  He kowtowed to the throne, and he was seen walking into the men’s bath with Sean Zang.

  The throne of the empire stood empty while the emperor took a bath.

  The audience realized that nothing was going to happen for a while, and so many used the intermission to relax, relieve themselves, and otherwise unwind.

  In the men’s bath, while Tan was bathing, Renton and Tren were relaxing.

  Their bath attendants stood nearby. One man, an old man with a beard and wrinkled brows, was writing furiously. Occasionally, he would say something.

  The words he said were “Stop talking,” or “Repeat that.” He said no other words.

  Renton Shen, while bathing, did proclaim several things while conversing with his brother.

  The future of the empire was decided that day, and it was witnessed by the inner court of the emperor.

  “So, you’re making a bit bigger deal of this than I was expecting,” Tren said. “Honestly, I’m a little surprised. Is there something wrong?”

  “No, I just need to shave my beard,” Renton said.

  “Ah, I understand. How long has it grown?” Tren asked.

  “Pretty long,” Renton, who was cleanshaven, answered.

  “Have you appointed an imperial barber?” Tren asked him.

  “I intend on doing it myself,” Renton said.

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  “Is it really that bad?” Tren asked.

  “No. I’m just sending a message so that I won’t have to shave again for a while,” Renton answered. “Did you know that my beard actually tried to depose me?”

  “Impressive. How did they try that?”

  “They asked Erk to do it for me,” Renton answered. “They wanted him to poison me. Of course, being Erk, he promptly informed me of the plot. So now I’m just trying to figure out how long I need my beard to be.”

  “I understand. If you need help trimming, I’ll do what I can, just ask,” Tren said.

  “No thank you, brother. I appreciate the support, but if I’m going to rule, I will do it in my own name. I will be naming Tan the child of heaven, though. Do you have a problem with that?” Renton asked.

  “Ask him yourself.”

  “Tan! Come here for a moment.”

  Tan, chose this moment to jump into the hotsprings. When he emerged, he swam over to his uncle. “You need something?”

  “Several things, actually. When we finish bathing, I’m going to ask you to kowtow before the imperial throne. Will you do that for me?”

  “I guess,” Tan said. “Is that all you need?”

  “Yes. That is all that I shall ever ask of you again. In exchange, you can ask me any question, and I will answer as best as I am able. Is that a fair bargain?”

  “Sure,” Tan said.

  “Repeat that,” the man who was scribbling said.

  “I asked Tan to become the child of heaven, and he said that he would become the child of heaven,” Renton Shen said.

  “Is that truly what he said?” the old man said.

  “Not in those words. Let his words be recorded. Tan Shen, did I ask you to become the child of heaven?”

  “Um, no, you asked me to kowtow before the throne,” Tan said.

  “Will you kowtow before the throne of the Blue Dragon Empire?” Renton asked.

  “Yes, if you need me to,” Tan said.

  “Then I name you the child of heaven. You may kowtow to the throne of the Blue Dragon Empire any time you wish. You are not required to kowtow by anyone who cannot compel you to do so, and I grant you this privilege for the rest of your life. Do you accept?”

  “Sure,” Tan said.

  “Repeat that,” said the old man who was writing furiously.

  “I said okay,” Tan said.

  “Rephrase what you said,” The old man demanded.

  “I said that I would kowtow to the throne of the Blue Dragon Empire!” Tan shouted. “What are you, deaf?”

  “Yes,” the old man said. “I give my ears to the service of the empire. From this moment forth, I am deaf.”

  “Thank you for your service. When you finish writing, let me know,” Renton said. After a moment, the man finished writing. He sighed, and he handed the parchment to the man standing to his left.

  “Join us in the bath,” Renton instructed the old man. The old man began to disrobe.

  The other men in the bath sat, and they each began to write.

  “So, Tan. How would you like to be named emperor of the day?” Renton asked.

  “I’m not certain I want to be emperor at all,” Tan admitted.

  “I’ll make a bargain with you. Any time you sit on the throne of the blue dragon empire, you are emperor. The rest of the time, you are just Tan Shen. Do you accept this bargain?”

  Tan blinked. “I don’t really understand. How is that a bargain.”

  “You get to be emperor of the day,” Renton said. “I get to take a vacation.”

  Tan shook his head. “I don’t really get it, Uncle Renton.”

  “Then I will charge my master scribe with explaining it to you,” Renton said. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to write the questions to him, because he’s a little hard of hearing. Is that a problem?”

  “No, it shouldn’t be,” Tan said. “Just let me know what you need me to do, Uncle Renton, and I’ll do whatever I can.”

  “I ask no service of the child of heaven that he is not willing to perform,” Renton said. “Do you accept the title of child of heaven, Tan Shen Shenlong?”

  “Yeah, I already said that,” Tan said.

  “Then you are the child of heaven. When we finish bathing, would you kowtow before my throne?”

  “Sure, whatever. This is weird, Uncle Renton, I don’t understand what’s going on at all.”

  “Then I shall task my master scribe with explaining things to you. Unfortunately, he’s a little hard of hearing, so you’ll have to speak up when you’re asking him something,” Renton said. “Is that a problem?

  ?

  “No, it shouldn’t be,” Tan said. “How old is your scribe?”

  “My master scribe is older than I am. By a bit. It doesn’t really matter much once you reach a certain stage of cultivation, Tan. An imperial cultivator can live as long as they wish to live. Your grandfather decided to ascend to the heavens two hundred years ago, and spent a hundred and fifty years in preparation. When he finally ascended, however, he left his body behind,” Renton said. “Would you care to see it?”

  Tan frowned. “What are you asking me to do?”

  “I’m not asking you to do anything. I am asking you if you would like to pay homage to your grandfather.”

  “I thought he was a demon,” Tan said.

  “He is an honored ancestor of your house, Tan. His name is Hao, and his deeds in life are to be respected. Will you pay respect to his grave?” Renton asked.

  “Yes,” Tan said.

  “Let it be shown that the child of heaven does pay respect to his ancestors, be they demon or saint,” Renton said. “Now then, Tan, let me wash your back.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Tan said.

  And the emperor did wash the back of the child of heaven.

  ?