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89. Church of Life, Church of Death Part V

  Vero circled around Alexius, and it turned to continue facing her. Heward understood the purpose of her movement and took up a position behind the thing. If it focused its power on one of them, the other may have time to reach it. If it focused on her, she hoped Heward knew enough to strike at the neck. There was no time to give him any instruction.

  “Why are you following me?” she asked

  “I told you already, I don’t know.” Then it added, “Sleep friend.”

  Again, Vero was not the target, but she felt the force in the command. She watched in horror as Heward collapsed to the ground with a clatter in his armor.

  “I am not one of those you hunt.”

  His words brought Vero up short. She held her weapon poised to strike, but it no longer mattered. Slayers hunted monsters and never men. The notion of killing a person outside the necessity of the hunt made her feel sick.

  Though this did nothing to dampen her rage towards Alexius. “What have you done to him you bastard!”

  “I merely put him to sleep,” Alexius replied. “I promise you, he will wake with no memory of this unfortunate incident.”

  Vero circled Alexius wearily to Heward’s side. She removed his helm and he still breathed. “What have you done to me?”

  A sorrowful look passed Alexius’ face. “I am sorry. I became over eager and I allowed emotions to sway me. Now to set things right, you and I must speak.”

  He has you now. You’re helpless. You can’t run him through, you can’t even come to grips with him. He won’t let you.

  Vero focused her mind to what she could do. Heward would not wake. She divested him of his armor, so that she could check him for injuries and move him.

  “I want you to know, Vero, that I did not wish to influence your mind. I have done so only as much as I have, because I did not wish to have my head chopped off. But perhaps that too was another of my failures.”

  He knows. He read right through your mantras. They don’t mean a thing.

  “Yes, I can hear your thoughts. It’s not a choice. That is why I say hear, rather than listen. I could hear that you had disassociated me from my humanity, I could not know if I gave you the opportunity to move- would your blade be swifter than my speech? There was truth in my command, however. I have no connection to you or your hunt. I have no notion why I was brought so far out into the frozen north to meet a slayer, except that I was led here.”

  “By whom?”

  “It is as I told you. You know Her as the Veiled One. I admit that I have withheld information, but I have not lied to you.” Vero was prepared to become indignant, when he added, “And you know I can hear your thoughts, my Lady. Please don’t pretend that you don’t understand how Luna’s own truth has many faces.”

  ‘Luna’s own truth’ was a pseudo-oath Mama taught her. The wording suggested an oath sworn on a god’s name, but Luna had many faces and well understood that words have many meanings. If those words cause another person to make a presumption, that lies on their own head. The phrase often flitted across Vero’s mind when she self-justified her own dishonesty by avoiding a more overt lie.

  He obviously used the phrase deliberately as a show of dominance to her.

  “Believe what you will. I have been tasked with finding you, which I have now done. I must remain by your side until my next purpose is made clear to me. It is truly as simple as that. I don’t know why it was you I was led to. I had never even heard of you, until She commanded me to find you. Although I learned what I could of you between now and then.”

  “You altered Pentarch’s mind to make him order this attack.”

  “Yes.” Alexius sounded troubled. “That was my failure. When I heard the blasphemy which had been committed here, I allowed myself to become angry. I acted before I considered the ramification of what I was doing. If I had not, then perhaps we would not be here now.”

  “How did you destroy that creature?”

  “Undeath is a curse. I showed him the truth of this and we prayed together. He was forgiven, and his curse was ended.”

  “Why?” Vero did not elucidate, but he knew her mind, so let the mad priest explain himself until she was no longer confused.

  Alexius laughed softly. “Pentarch pretends to be annoyed by your japes, but he hardly knows how much impertinence goes unsaid. The peace of the grave is a gift. An end to pain and a rest at the end of life. To reject that peace for the curse of undeath is the most vile form of heresy. Don’t be mistaken by what I meant, when I said ordering Pentarch to destroy these creatures was my failure. I believe that giving these things peace was the right thing to do, my failure was allowing my feelings to control my actions. I saw refusal in Pentarch’s mind, I felt anger at the blasphemy, and I was afraid that Pentarch would do nothing. Perhaps you could have convinced him on your own. Perhaps the words of the others may have swayed him. Perhaps my Mistress would have given them peace by other means, at a time of Her own choosing. It was not my place to interfere. Then, when I sensed the apostate about to escape, I allowed my emotions to rule me once again, which has led to this confrontation. You were prepared to follow him. I passed the woman Anastasia unseen to come here, perhaps she could have helped you track the striga before its escape. I was hasty and did not wait to see.”

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  He paused for a moment before continuing. “It concerns me that I can no longer fully trust my own intentions. That is why I wish to free your mind of any control, except that which prevents you from killing me. And as I said, perhaps that is my last failure. Perhaps you may have concluded that I was a man, and not a monster, without my influence. Perhaps my becoming a martyr by your hand was the purpose I was called here for; it is a possibility that I have considered.”

  “And what would you do, if your goddess told you that was your purpose?”

  “I would remove my influence entirely and bow my head.”

  “Suppose I refused to kill you then, by my own decision.”

  “I would accept your compassion and wait for matters to change.”

  Vero shuddered with horror as revelations played themselves across her mind. It was worse than Isolde had feared.

  And you’ve given her away as well, damn fool girl.

  “There is no need for you to be harsh with yourself, Vero.” Vero hated to be called ‘my Lady’, but hearing him speak her true name made her skin crawl. “I knew of the magister’s suspicions from the start. I did not alter them at once, because I could not trust myself so soon after giving in to passion. I needed to meditate, to drain myself of emotion.”

  “You’re going to invade her mind again, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am. I prefer to keep myself out of our companions’ minds as much as possible. You have my promise that I will not influence them in any way, except as necessitated to have them continue to accept me as a fellow traveler.”

  Vero was beginning to think that she may go mad without any privacy, even in her own thoughts.

  “I am sorry… Dame.” Dame was probably the least objectionable term he could have chosen. “If I could stop myself from hearing your thoughts I would do so without hesitation. I’ve never been able to stop them. As a child, I would crawl into the corner, cover my ears with my hands, and shout as loud as I could- but still I couldn’t block them out. I heard all their thoughts… everyone’s. It forced me to learn many things no child should concern themselves with, and my parents were terrified that I was completely mad. With time, the church helped me to manage my affliction as best I can. But I have never learned a means to silence the inner voices of others.”

  The whole thing beggared belief, but she could not doubt the reality which confronted her. If the story he told was true, then he was just as miserable about the situation as she, if not more so.

  Unless you only believe as much, because he wishes you to do so.

  “Your ability to empathize with others is a strength, Dame Veronique. I would not wish you to mistrust it, or ascribe it to an outside power.”

  Vero removed the last of Heward’s armor. There were no serious injuries. Vero already knew the cause of his unconsciousness, but she checked him anyway. It was her only means to keep down the panic that kept rising from her chest. “Why are you telling me all of this, if you’re just going to take my memory of it when we’ve finished? I can’t understand what you want from me.”

  “I won’t take your memory from you again. I don’t wish anything from you except to be allowed to accompany you until the One whom I serve speaks to me once again. I would take your fears from your mind. Except that I believe it is best for me to allow you to proceed on your own initiative, with as little interference from myself as possible. If anything, please take your fear as an indication that your mind is still your own.”

  Vero was quiet for a time. Heward had some scratches and his ribs were badly bruised, but there were no serious wounds. His heart beat was stable. She placed some straw as a cushion beneath his head. “What do you mean when you say the Veiled One speaks to you?”

  “I have never witnessed, anything, in the mind of another which may compare to what I experienced. In the sacred texts, we are told that in ancient times the gods would show themselves to mortal prophets and speak with them. There is no way for me to know if those stories are indeed true. There is cynicism as to the reality of the gods to be found even in clerical minds. In fact, the religious mind is more prone to doubt, in my own experience. Common people are often content to accept that the spiritual realm is simply beyond their concern, and will pray to whatever god their fathers worshiped- so long as the weather is fair, and the land is fertile. All I can say, is that the stories of prophecy descending on the holy men of old are the only tale I have ever heard, that may relate even a fraction what I have experienced.”

  “If you wish me to cooperate, then wake Heward.”

  “As you wish. I won’t speak freely like this to you again unless we are alone together.”

  “What does it matter if you can simply take the other’s memories of everything we say?”

  “You suspect already how tempting the misuse of these abilities could be. To use them often is to invite pride into my heart. Pride is often the subtlest and most dangerous of all passions. Why remove the memory of words from another’s mind, when one may simply remain silent, and say nothing at all?”

  What could she do? What could she say? He was listening to every thought that crossed her mind, and constantly keeping her own thoughts monitored was utterly intolerable. “Wake him up. Remain in our company if you wish, but don’t come near me or speak to me.”

  Alexius bowed. “As you wish, Dame. I do earnestly apologize for the violation you feel. If I could chose for circumstances to be otherwise I would do so. I possess the power to remove those feelings from you, but that would only be a greater violation.”

  “I understand. Wake him.”

  Alexius nodded, and a moment later Heward’s eyes fluttered open. He tried to rise at once, but Vero prevented him.

  “At ease, Brother. The battle is over.”

  “What passed...? The last I remember you helped me through the hatch, and then… nothing.”

  “You were… rendered unconscious. But the last vampyre is destroyed, it’s over now.” Luna’s own truth. “You don’t appear injured, although your ribs will hurt like all the hells. How does your head feel?”

  “Fine.” He sounded surprised. “I feel as though I’ve woken from an afternoon nap, rather than a blow to the head.”

  “Try to stand.” Vero helped him to his feet, but he was obviously strong enough to stand and remain there without difficulty.

  “I apologize for my weakness, my Lady. How did the creature catch me?”

  “It was my fault. We each circled on opposite sides to split his attention. He went for you first, and I- wasn’t fast enough to stop him. I should be the one apologizing to you.”

  “You’re too harsh with yourself.”

  “I could say the same to you, Fra.”

  Vero looked for Alexius, but he had vanished.

  She could have told Heward what really happened, but what good would it have done? He appeared unharmed by the sleeping spell he was placed under, but the gods only knew what effects constant prodding at his mind might have.

  She was determined not to feel helpless. Protecting Heward, as best she could, gave her some sense of control. At least for the moment.

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