I threw my toothbrush into a bag. “I still don’t understand.”

  Alexia laughed. “Vacation. Get away, relax. Eat at quaint cafés. Visit local breweries. Let other people clean up our messes.”

  “Dawn would not like that.”

  “Dawn isn’t going.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we need time together. And Dawn likes to yell.”

  “That makes sense. I’m excited to try new breweries. I thought Rubber Duck was the only one.”

  Alexia stopped. “You thought there was only one brewery in the American Empire?”

  “It’s the only one I’ve been to.”

  “Good thing we’re going to broaden your horizons.”

  I shoved clothes into my bag.

  “Alexia, will there be chicken fingers in… where are we going?”

  “Yes. There will be chicken fingers in the Free States.”

  “Which ones are those?”

  Alexia sighed, “Vancouver, Washington, Oregon, and Northern California. The only holdouts during the revolution. I always wanted to live there.”

  “You know that is possible.”

  “We need to make sure you like it there.”

  I grinned. “As long as there are chicken fingers, beer, and you I’ll be happy.”

  Alexia smirked. “You’re getting way too mushy.”

  “I assure you, I am solid.”

  “Believe me. I know.” She winked.

  Bags in hand, Alexia sliced the air.

  “You’re sure White Rhino Reaper can fill in?”

  “They don’t have much to do these days.”

  I stepped through the portal. “That’s true.”

  Alexia nodded. “And depressing.”

  We emerged into the streets of Portland. Women dressed like Alexia walked by sipping beers. Men in flannel with buns on their head and beards to their belly button waxed their moustaches. In the distance—Purple Goat comics.

  I smiled. “I love Emberhorn.”

  Alexia kissed me. “That’s why we’re here. Maybe your mushyness is rubbing off on me.”

  Confused, I looked at Alexia. “I already said I’m not mushy.”

  “It means romantic. Love dovey.”

  “I don’t like doves. They're just white pigeons.”

  Alexia took my hand and led me down the street. A block later I saw one of the greatest sights I’ve ever seen in my life.

  “Are those!” I rushed over. A person at the bar smiled.

  Alexia caught up to me. “They’re exactly what you think they are.”

  I smiled as I took in the beautiful sight. Fifteen beer taps lined the outside wall.

  The beertender looked at me. “Welcome to Tap the Wall Brewing. Fifty bucks, you get a bracelet, a glass, and unlimited use of our taps.”

  I was speechless.

  “You want to get bracelets, Gray?”

  I tossed two bags of gold on the counter. “I would like two bracelets please.”

  The beertender stared at the gold. “You could get the entire bar bracelets and have tons leftover.”

  “Buy them bracelets! Buy you a bracelet!” I pointed across the street. “Buy that person a bracelet.”

  Alexia laughed. “The people of Portland will drink well tonight.”

  The beertender wrapped our bracelets around our wrists and handed us each a mug.

  They smiled. “Enjoy.”

  We each filled our mugs and continued.

  “Good thing we can portal there anytime we want.”

  Alexia nodded. “I think you almost killed her with the bag of gold.”

  “I don’t like your paper money. It has germs.”

  “You don’t get sick.”

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  “Because I stay away from germs.”

  “You’re around dead people all day.”

  “I rarely touch them. And when I do,” I pulled an industrial sized hand sanitizer from my robe, “I use one of these.”

  “A whole one?”

  “Of course. How else would I kill the germs?”

  Alexia stopped. “And we’re here.”

  I looked at the building in front of us.

  “Purple Goat Comics,” I whispered. “Home of Shadow Walker. Once home to Mania-Man. Still home of the Mikaverse.”

  I turned toward Alexia. “Do you think Emberhorn is here? Maybe Silver-Weave visiting for a crossover?!”

  “I doubt any of them will be here.” She took my hand. “Let’s go in.”

  The lobby was pretty dull. Windows, floor, desk, lady behind desk. Not one Purple Goat character around.

  “Drat,” I said. “I would have even settled for one of the Whedonverse characters.”

  Alexia looked at me. “You don’t like Buffy and Firefly?”

  “I don’t like Joss Whedon.”

  She nodded. “Fair.”

  We approached the front desk, the lady looked up and smiled. “How can I help you?”

  “Hello,” Alexia said. “We have a tour scheduled for noon.”

  “Oh, yes,” the lady said. “The rest of your group is over there.”

  She pointed to a large group assembled in the middle of the lobby.

  “I believe you’re our last guests. The tour should start any moment.”

  Alexia and I joined the group. There weren’t many flannels and beards, but plenty of manic-pixie dream girls—as Alexia likes to call herself.

  Alexia engaged. “I like your hair. I’ve always wanted to go that short, but I haven’t had the guts. The purple, pink, blue combo is great. Are you bi?

  The woman nodded. “Bi and proud.”

  A guy interjected. “Bi represent!”

  Alexia gestured toward me. “My partner is non-binary.”

  I opened a portal and refilled my mug.

  I took a sip. “Death has no gender.”

  “That’s deep,” someone said.

  Another nodded. “You should write a book.”

  I nodded. “I’ve been thinking of chronicling my adventures.”

  Alexia refilled her mug. “When are they coming to get us?”

  “Right now.”

  The group turned and saw a 20ish year old girl in a suit.

  “Now if y’all—please be careful with the beer—follow me to the bullpen, we can get started.”

  We followed.

  “I think we should break from the group, Alexia.”

  “Why?”

  “If Emberhorn or Shadow Walker is here, they wouldn’t be on the tour.”

  “Why?”

  “They don’t want them to get mobbed by the fans.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “And here we are. The bullpen.” She motioned around. “Most people work remotely these days, currently it’s a storage room. Years ago Mike Mika, Rick Rareblue, and Mac Mobner would be here laughing and making comics. It was certainly a sight to see—I’m told.”

  She began walking out. “The next stop on our tour is the restrooms.”

  “That might be our chance,” I hissed.

  Alexia nodded.

  “Please be mindful of the schedule. We still have to visit the CEO’s office, who is playing pickle ball. The cafeteria—which is closed. And IT.”

  Alexia and I winked at each other. Then entered separate restrooms.

  Ten minutes later

  Alexia waved. “That was way too easy.”

  “I found it quite difficult. I ended up with my foot in the toilet.”

  “I don’t even want to know.”

  “Which way?”

  She grabbed my hand. “It’s your plan. Lead on.”

  We wandered the way the tour group had gone, checking doors as we passed.

  “This one looks important.” I peeked inside.

  Two basset hounds jousting.

  I slowly shut the door.

  “I’ll try this one.” Alexia slowly opened the door.

  “What do you see?”

  She sighed. “Just a bunch of demons eating lunch.”

  We kept going, door after door, same boring results.

  An evil clown juggling machetes.

  I shut the door.

  “Anything good?” Alexia asked.

  “Not for us.”

  Next door.

  Comic characters.

  Where were they—

  I slowly walked backwards and opened the door again.

  Silver-Weaver, Emberhorn, Mania-Man, and Dark Avenger all sat playing poker.

  I waved Alexia over and we creeped in.

  Alexia squeezed my hand. “What now?”

  “I still don’t understand why we can’t have pancakes at poker night,” Emberhorn said.

  Silver-Weaver laughed. “Because last time you spilled syrup all over the cards.”

  “Do you think they’ll let us play?” I asked.

  Mania-Man frowned. “I wish we could do yo-yo tournaments instead.

  “You have a really bad poker face,” Dark Avenger growled, then pointed toward us. “Do they belong to any of you?”

  All four heroes stared at us.

  “Hi. I’m Gray. Huge fan.”

  Alexia waved. “I’m Alexia. I’m Gray’s partner.”

  “Why are you here?” Dark Avenger asked.

  “I wanted to meet you all.”

  “Okay. Done. Get out.”

  Silver-Weaver checked their cards. "C’mon D.A., let em’ hang out.”

  “Grrr.”

  “I don’t see the harm,” Emberhorn said.

  He squinted. “And for some reason, Gray looks really familiar.”

  I swallowed.

  “They’re probably spies.” Dark Avenger stood, wingarang in hand.

  A yo-yo knocked it from his hand, sending it clattering to the ground.

  Mania-Man laughed, “You’re way too serious. I say we get us some bracelets, do some ginchy yo-yo tricks, and get to know these two interesting people.”

  “Yes!” I blurted.

  “Lets get crunk!” Alexia yelled.

  She ripped a hole in reality and we emerged at Tap in the Wall.

  The night gets blurry from here.

  I remember playing limbo at a birthday party.

  Emberhorn demanded pancakes for beer sponges.

  Mania-Man and I shot cans and bottles with yo-yos.

  Weavy swung us around Portland, then we barfed on a cop car.

  Dark Avenger lectured us.

  It was a magical night.

  Alexia and I opened a portal to our hotel.

  “Hey, Gray,” Emberhorn said. “I’m impressed. A partner. Having Fun.

  I tilted my head. “Why?”

  He winked. “You have a really hard job.”

  He nodded toward Alexia.

  “Don’t let her go.”

  My face hardened.

  “I won’t.”

  The Adventures of Alison Alistair and The River and Friends series - River and the Bug and The Beagle and the Robin.

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