Maxwell

  “They say I am immortal. Celestial. A blessed one, born for the blade.

  They are mistaken. I am no God. No divine authority, nor benevolent savior. I wield the blade purely for one reason; so that I may slay my enemies before they slay me. That is all I am… a selfish man, scorned by fate.” - Writings of the Sword-Saint, 2145 Post-Separation (PS).

  In the dream, I am swallowed by the serpent.

  I cannot run, for the beast is gargantuan, its frame blotting out the sun and the stars. I cannot scream, for its roar echoes across the lands, drowning out my cries. I cannot hide, for its eyes of crimson blaze rends the world asunder.

  And so, I am swallowed, taken in its maw and devoured whole. Yet, this is not the end of the dream, for it is within the belly of the beast that I happen upon a world - a vast, pulsating cavern where flesh melds with stone, and rivers of azure ichor snakes through a broken landscape.

  I am afforded naught but a glimpse of its scale before a wave of memories not my own crashes through me. They are vivid, searing: lives lived in anguish and triumph, happiness and despair. A steady hum, growing to form a rhythm, to form a chant.

  Riftwalker. Riftwalker. Riftwalker.

  I wake, in a fit of panic, sheets drenched in sweat.

  Each night, the same dream. Each night, the same chant.

  What could it possibly mean?

  /-0-\

  Harsh droplets of rain hammered against grimy windows, a bleak contrast to the lively mood inside.

  I followed a stray bulb of water as it streaked down the glass, catching a glimpse of my own reflection in the process. Brown eyes stared back at me with bored lucidity, surrounded by locks of mahogany hair. A faint hint of stubble covered my chin, and my mouth was drawn into a strict line, indicative of my current state of mind.

  On the surface, I appeared inattentive and bored. Anyone who saw me would likely assume I was simply feeling tired and worn-out after a long day at school. Hardly an uncommon sight, after all, in a classroom full of hormonal teenagers.

  The truth, however, differed quite heavily from this presented reality.

  Unbeknownst to the people around me, I was wrestling with a deep-seated frustration tinged with the bitter gall of dread. A secret, kept close to the heart… one I felt compelled to hide from everyone in my life. Why this compulsion gripped me so, I had no clue. There was only one thing I was certain of; it could never leave the confines of my own mind.

  Lately, I had not been sleeping right. The shadow of a serpent haunted my dreams, and my waking hours, too. I saw it in the shade of the trees lining the side of our house, in the haze of a foggy morning, and the shadows of a dimly-lit street lamp. Its form looming like a mountain range upon the horizon.

  It seemed childish when I thought about it. To be frightened by so obvious a nightmare. After all, what self-respecting high-schooler would let himself be intimidated by dreams? And yet, whenever I recalled the shadowed visage of the beast… my thoughts were clouded by fear. My heart beat faster in my chest, and my breathing grew rugged and shallow.

  It was a child’s delusion, a manifestation of the proverbial monster underneath the bed. And it terrified me to no end.

  “What do you think, Maxwell?”

  A feminine voice dragged me from my musings, back to the conversation I had so unceremoniously tuned out moments prior.

  “Huh? Oh, you’re asking me? Sorry, I… spaced out for a second there,” I said, trying to chase the serpent from my mind. It did not work.

  The girl, Bianca, shook her head in exasperation, long strands of golden hair set to swaying as she did. “Seriously, Maxwell…” she said, her scrutinizing blue eyes holding mine. “Are you alright? That’s the third time you’ve zoned out in the past hour.”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I said. “Really. Don’t worry about it.”

  “You sure?” a secondary party interjected with a worried look. “Because I haven’t seen you this put out since-”

  “I said I’m fine, Jason,” I said, turning my gaze to him. Wavy, medium-length hair and sharp facial features came into view. Chocolate eyes tinged with skepticism challenged mine.

  “Oh yeah, I can tell you’re fine by the way you’re getting aggressive for no reason,” he huffed. “Nothing off about that.”

  The comment elicited a scoff from Bianca.

  “Leave him alone, Jason,” she said. “He’s clearly having a bad day.”

  She was right. I was having a bad day. A bad week, even. Bad month.

  Fucking serpent… I thought, turning to stare out the window once more.

  “I swear, you’ve been off your game ever since you and Petra broke up,” Jason said, unable to let sleeping dogs lie. “It’s like you’re a different person!”

  “Look, Jason…” I sighed, feeling the frustration build within me. “It’s just been a lot lately, okay? Between dealing with my mom, this goddamn insomnia, and the break-up… Fuck, man, don’t even get me started on the break-up! I don’t even know how to talk to Petra anymore.”

  “Have you tried talking to her, though?” Bianca asked as she leaned down from her seat to rummage around inside her navy-blue backpack. “Because to me, it sort of looks like you run away every time she shows up.”

  “Well…” I said. “It’s just… it’s a break-up, you know. It’s kind of a big deal. We went from being lovers to practically strangers within a couple of days.”

  “That’s usually how break-ups work, yes,” Jason said. “But look… you can take all the time that you need. I get that things are a little weird right now, and that’s alright. But you have to be able to talk to her like a normal person. The two of you used to be so close… not just as lovers, but as friends. I mean, you’ve known her since you were, what… seven years old?”

  “Since I was five, actually,” I sighed. “We met in kindergarten.”

  “Exactly! So you can’t just let a friendship like that go to waste! Sure, the whole relationship thing didn’t really work out, but you can still be friends, right?”

  “Look, it’s not that simple,” I said. “The last time I met her, she… she came to me, and… well, things took an unexpected turn.”

  “Oh?”

  “We might have… perhaps… sort of… ended up in bed together?”

  The comment went over about as smoothly as could be expected. Bianca’s eyebrows went up into her hairline, and Jason looked like someone had just put down his dog in front of him.

  “What?!”

  “E-Ehh…”

  “So you can sleep with her…” Bianca said, a crestfallen look upon her features. “Just not talk with her.”

  “Hey, sex and talking are two very different things,” I said, despite knowing the futility of my argument. “They are not always mutually inclusive!”

  “Now that’s some proper stupidity right there,” Jason said. “A for effort, though.”

  "How did it even happen?” Bianca asked. “You said she came to you, and… then what? She threw herself at you?”

  “No, it… it wasn’t like that,” I said with a groan. “We were at the same party, right? You know, Jack’s birthday. We had been exchanging glances with one another all night when, out of nowhere, she suddenly cornered me on my way back from the bathroom.”

  “Cornered you?” Bianca asked. “Cornered you how?”

  “She just… struck up a conversation,” I said. “I can’t even remember what it was we talked about. All I know is that one moment, we were talking like normal, and the next… her lips were on mine.”

  “So you’re telling me she was the one to initiate it?” Jason asked.

  “Yes, of course! You know I’d never do anything like that otherwise,” I said. “After the break-up, I was sure the two of us were history. But then… she goes ahead and does something like that…”

  “Okay, so you had rebound sex,” Bianca said. “That’s normal. It happens every now and again, especially between recently broken-up couples.”

  “I suppose…” I muttered. “Still though, it’s made things even more awkward between us. And, well… there might be something else, too.”

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  “Something else?” Jason said. “What do you mean by that?”

  “I don’t know… I just…” I started, struggling to find the words I wanted to convey. “After we had, you know…”

  “Yes?”

  “Petra felt… kind of distant. Like, her body was there, laying next to me, but her mind… her mind was someplace else. Someplace far away.”

  “Are you telling me she was drunk?” Bianca said, sounding none too pleased with the implications.

  “No, nothing like that. I’m pretty sure she was stone-cold sober, in fact. She just felt… off. As if she was thinking really hard about something else.”

  “I’m not going to lie,” Jason shrugged. “Your game must be real weak.”

  “Hey, buddy,” I said with a wave. “Grown-ups are talking. Go fetch.”

  “Oh, fuck you,” Jason said. “Besides, it seems like you’re worrying a bit too much about this. She was a little distant that night. So what? It happens.”

  “Ugh, such a typical guy answer,” Bianca huffed. “Don’t listen to him, Max. He wouldn’t recognize an intelligent thought if it hit him in his handsome face.”

  “Hey, all I’m saying is that sometimes, women can act in ways that seem a bit odd to us fellas. That’s all.”

  “If you’re truly worried about this, I think you should go talk to her,” Bianca continued, ignoring Jason entirely. “It might be nothing, but it never hurts to ask, you know.”

  “Maybe I should, yeah…” I said, leaning back in my chair. A prolonged sigh escaped my lips as a million different thoughts raced through my mind. Chief among them was my concern for Petra, of course, but there was also confusion, and a palpable fear of rejection.

  A part of me knew I was being ridiculous, letting such a simple thing get to me. After all, me and Petra were broken up. Whatever concern I brought up with her would be perceived as an act of friendship, and not as a romantic gesture. And yet, I could not shake the rather overpowering feeling of doom. It had settled somewhere in the pit of my stomach, and was adamantly refusing to let up.

  “Just know that no matter what you do… we’ll always be here for you,” Bianca said, dragging me back to the present.

  “Ugh. It sounds so cliché when you put it like that,” Jason frowned.

  “Hey, shut it, mister. Or it’s the couch for you tonight,” Bianca snapped back.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said.

  “Thank you, guys. I… I really mean it,” I said. “You know you’re my favourite couple. Well, right after Josh and Lauren, that is.”

  “Josh and Lauren?!” Bianca scoffed. “Fat chance. We’re way cuter than those guys.”

  “No, you’re not,” I replied.

  “No, we’re not,” Jason agreed.

  “You’re an idiot,” Bianca said, pointing first at me before moving her finger to Jason. “And you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

  “Damn,” Jason said. “Well, at least I’ll get to sleep peacefully with my own duvet for once, without having to wrestle it back from you every half-hour.”

  “Correction: you’re sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future.”

  At that point, Mr. Barrens finally rose from his seat at the front to announce that class was back in session, and so the three of us reluctantly began to separate our desks. For a moment, my eyes caught on Bianca’s hair, and I froze as a shock of crimson flitted across her golden curls.

  But then, it was gone, forcing me to move on without closure. Just another mirage, conjured from the depths of my ailing mind.

  … What is happening to me? I thought, as the projector whirred to life ahead, playing the opening crawl to a movie I had not the peace to focus on.

  /-0-\

  A cold gust of late October wind rippled across my skin as I pushed open the door leading out of Westbrook High School. Around me, students were filtering out of the redbricked building, abuzz with excited chatter and murmurs as they emerged into their temporary weekend vacation. At some point during the past hour, the rain had subsided, rendering the umbrella in my hand useless.

  I tightened the scarf around my neck, burrowing my face deeper into its soft confines. Bianca and Jason had both elected to stay behind to talk with the teacher, leaving me to brave the journey home alone. There were few others I could be bothered to walk with, after all.

  Apart from Petra, my mischievous mind interjected, but I soon abandoned the thought. It was unclear to me if the two of us were even on speaking terms at the moment, considering what had happened the week prior.

  As I trekked across the school courtyard, an eerie feeling befell me, tugging at my mind with relentless fervor. Tilting my head, I tried to identify the source of the unease, and…

  There was something towering above the school. A mammoth creature of such scale, its mere presence sundered the skies and split the earth. Its gaze held the world in crimson eternity, its mouth opening wide to reveal an endless abyss of-

  Gray clouds cast a sullen sheen over wet concrete, as throngs of students pushed past me to reach the bike stands by the main gate. My heart raced, each thud like a drumbeat against my ribs. I turned this way and that, scanning the courtyard, the street, the school building.

  There was nothing. No towering beast, no gaping maw set to swallow the world. Just the afterimage of a dread that seemed to shadow my every step.

  … The serpent again, I thought, its phantom presence gnawing at me as I shook my head. The sense of being watched yet lingered, though my rational mind was forced to admit there was nothing there.

  I let out a breath and adjusted my scarf, casting a wary glance at the school behind me. The building stood tall, cold and indifferent to my hallucinations. My feet resumed their reluctant march toward the main gate.

  And that was when I heard it. A voice, casual and light, cutting through the haze with sharp clarity.

  “Oh, hey there, Max.”

  The familiarity of it sent a jolt through me. I froze mid-step, head snapping toward the source. Standing a few paces away, leaning against one of the low iron railings that lined the school entrance, was Petra.

  Her auburn hair caught the faint light of the overcast sky, appearing almost coppery in contrast to the navy jacket she wore. She stood with her arms crossed, her posture relaxed but her expression unreadable. I could not tell if she had been waiting for me, or if this was some kind of coincidence, but the sight of her sent my emotions into overdrive all the same.

  “P-Petra?” I stammered.

  She gave a smile, a twitch of the lips that did not quite reach her eyes. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  I swallowed hard, trying to gather my composure, but the truth was, she might as well have been a specter. For the past week, Petra had dominated much of my thoughts, her voice echoing in fragments of conversation, her laughter bubbling up at the most inconvenient of moments.

  Her touch lingering like embers on my skin.

  And now, here she was, standing in front of me, as if the universe had decided I could avoid her no longer.

  “... What are you doing here?” I asked, my tone a touch sharper than intended. It was not annoyance, really, but self-defense; a reflex against the vulnerability she seemed to bring out of me without even trying.

  She raised an eyebrow, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Last I checked, this is still a public place,” she said. “But if you’re asking why I waited for you…” She trailed off, her gaze flicking to the pavement for a moment before returning to me. “I thought we could talk.”

  Talk. The word hung between us, heavy with implication.

  The memory of Jack’s party gnawed at me, peeking out from beneath the sealing lid I had placed upon it. The dim lighting, the haze of music and alcohol… the way she had looked at me, as if trying to find something she had lost. And then, her lips on mine, the heat of her touch, the electric pull that had rendered me speechless.

  “I don’t know if there’s much to talk about,” I muttered, looking away.

  Coward.

  “Really?” she said, her voice assuming a harsher edge. “Because it sure feels like there’s a lot left unsaid. Unless… you’d rather just keep pretending it didn’t happen?”

  Her words cut deeper than expected, and I winced, meeting her eyes again. Her expression was not angry, but there was a tension in her, a vulnerability she was attempting to mask.

  “I’m not pretending,” I said, with some hesitation. “I just… don’t know what you want me to say.”

  She studied me for a moment, eyes narrowing as if attempting to see past my words to the chaos underneath. “Maybe I don’t want you to say anything, Max. Maybe I just… I don’t know, wanted to see if you’re okay. Because you sure don’t look it.”

  My fingers tightened around the strap of my bag. I could not do this with Petra right now. Not here, and not like this.

  When I gave no response, she sighed, the sound laden with frustration. “Look, I didn’t mean to ambush you. If this is a bad time, just say so. But… I’m not going to stop caring about you just because we’re not-” She cut herself off, shaking her head. “Whatever. Forget it.”

  She turned, starting to walk away, and a sudden panic flared in my chest.

  “Wait!” I said, but it was too little, too late.

  “Come find me when you’re ready to have a serious conversation,” she said, still with her back to me. “Until then, I’ll be waiting.”

  And then, she was gone. I followed her with my eyes as she walked away, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  … I’m still in love with her, I thought to myself. And I don’t know what to do about it.

  /-0-\

  The road home was long and tedious. Without Jason or Bianca there to keep me company, I was left with nothing but my thoughts as I trudged along, the school campus disappearing further and further into the horizon behind me.

  What am I going to do? I wondered as I followed the main road. I didn’t mean to push her away like that. I want to talk about what happened that night, I really do… but…

  The sound of a car zooming past broke me free of my trance, but only for a moment. The silence soon returned, and with it, my churning thoughts.

  She’s right… there is a lot left unsaid between us. But the problem isn’t just the words. It’s the weight of it all. The fear that talking about it might just make it worse. I mean, what am I supposed to tell her? That I don’t regret what happened, but don’t understand it either? That I’m still in love with her, but unsure if it can fix anything?

  These ruminations continued for a while longer, until I at last arrived at my destination: a seemingly ordinary stretch of road, flanked by a blanket of trees.

  The reason I had stopped in this particular place was simple; by cutting through the small forest here that separated the fields surrounding the high school from the first residential area, I would be able to make it home quicker than I would by following the road.

  And so, I made for the trees, wholly intent on abandoning the traditional route, when…

  A sudden pull on my emotions caused me to stop.

  There was something… off… about the forest today. I could not quite place my finger on what it was, but something felt inherently wrong. There was a presence here unlike any I had known before. A feeling of peril and the unknown, weighing down on my mind.

  I hesitated on the edge of the sidewalk, the thick canopy of trees before me yawning like the mouth of a cave. The air was colder now, heavier, as if the forest itself was holding its breath. My instincts screamed at me to turn back, to stick to the longer route, but my feet refused to move. Something was drawing me forwards, a quiet compulsion that defied reason.

  For a moment, I hung in suspended motion as an internal battle for control was fought.

  Before long, however, my body took one exploratory step towards the trees.

  No… No, stop that. I don’t want to go that way!

  Another step followed the first one.

  No! I’m telling you to stop! Why won’t you listen to me?!

  My pleas fell on deaf ears however, as my body continued its robotic walk towards the forest. No matter how badly I fought against it, there was no stopping “me”. It was as if my flesh had become sentient, and was now refusing to listen to anything my brain had to say.

  Fear shot through my veins, making my heart beat faster in my chest.

  I DON’T WANT THIS! STOP! I’M BEGGING YOU!

  A shuddering breath leaked from my lips. It was getting harder to breathe now. My head started pounding, and my throat dried up. Genuine panic washed over me, ripping and tearing at my disobedient body.

  The forest seemed to encompass all as I moved closer and closer to its shadowed depths, my vision cloudy and unfocused. I could not get a grip on my thoughts, senseless as they had become. Strange shapes swam before my eyes, and there were whispers in my ears, speaking in a language I did not understand.

  And then, as the colors of the world began melding together into a sea of blue and green, I saw it. The shadow of the serpent, looming gargantuan and impossible amidst the trees-turned-blurs. Its crimson gaze lurched and lumbered across the landscape, burning all that it touched. The grass, the trees, the birds, the animals, the very heavens themselves - reduced to smoldering ruin at its watch.

  When the world finally lay broken, it turned to me. Eyes like planets on a head so large, its shadow stretched out to envelop the cosmos.

  At once, I was submerged in crimson eternity. My blood boiled as my flesh melted away and my bones charred to cinders. And as I died in the flames, I felt a pull on my soul, dragging my essence from the broken husk it had once occupied.

  Light and dark mingled in a sparkling dance, before its brilliance embraced me. My consciousness dimmed. Before long… I was no more.

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