Alastia and I walked up to his table and unceremoniously plopped down into the empty seats. We probably painted quite the picture: me in my perpetually wrinkled white uniform, and her with eyes burning with excitement. Like a couple of street urchins who had accidentally wandered into "normal" people territory.

  "Listen, kid," I started, propping my head on my hand. "What's your name?"

  The guy slowly set down his spoon and looked at us. His gaze was maximally boring, almost gray. People like that usually stand in the background of movies and don't even make it into the credits. "Dis," he answered shortly.

  I glanced sideways at Alastia. "Dis? Seriously? Alastia, are you sure he's the Main Character? His name is kind of lacking. Too short. Real protagonists should have names that sound like an expensive wine or a diagnosis from a magic textbook. But this—'Dis'. It sounds like someone sneezed and didn't finish."

  Dis sighed, and there was so much resignation in that sigh that I felt sorry for him for a second. "Excuse me..." he started quietly. "Why did you even sit with me? You two are very popular figures. The whole building is buzzing about you."

  I blinked. "Us? Popular? Why would that be?"

  "Well, yeah," Dis nodded at my eyes. "The 'guy from the fairy tales' and the 'Princess of Destruction.' Sitting with you is like having lunch on the edge of an active volcano. Too much attention." He started quickly gathering his things. "Excuse me, I have to get to class."

  Alastia instantly dug her fingers into the edge of the table. "Hold on! Class doesn't start for another half hour. Where are you rushing off to?" The building hasn't even started shifting gravity yet.

  Dis smiled politely and very professionally. It was the smile of a man who knows how to disappear into a crowd in three seconds flat. "I prefer to arrive early. Have a good day."

  He turned and walked away. Quickly, smoothly, without bumping into a single chair. A typical master of disguise.

  "Yeah," I muttered, watching him go. "That's definitely him. The background character who is actually carrying the entire plot on his back." Hiding his powers, avoiding attention, speaking in riddles... Classic.

  Alastia squinted predatorily. "Definitely. He's way too 'normal'."

  "Shall we tail him?" I suggested. "Yep," she jumped up. "Let's see which 'quiet classroom' he's actually going to."

  The hunt had officially transitioned into the stalking phase.

  We threw on a top-tier invisibility illusion and erased our presence with maximum quality. We followed Dis step for step, silent as ghosts.

  In an empty corridor, Dis suddenly stopped. He didn't even turn around; he just froze in the middle of the parquet floor. "Why are you hiding?" he asked loudly into the emptiness.

  "What?! How?!" flashed through my head. Is this overgrown NPC seriously so badass that he can see right through my illusion?

  With a dull thud, a man dropped from the ceiling. He was wearing a camouflage suit that perfectly mimicked the texture of the stone. A true master of stealth. "Forgive me, Commander," he said, dusting himself off.

  "Not you," Dis waved his hand in annoyance. "I noticed you right away, you breathe too loudly."

  I glanced at Alastia. We both froze, afraid to even blink. Is he talking about us? No way.

  Immediately, three more figures detached from the corridor walls. They literally "peeled" off the masonry, reforming from flat shadows. "We have information," one of them rustled.

  Dis swept a short, evaluating gaze over them. "Have you completely slacked off?" authoritative notes cut through his voice, ones we hadn't heard in the cafeteria. "In this Academy, even a blind man could spot you if he was standing upwind."

  "The operation takes place tonight," added the second "shadow."

  Dis smiled predatorily. It was the smile of a man who had just arranged all the pieces on a chessboard and was ready to declare checkmate. "Good. Tonight, this city will finally know of us."

  Alastia and I were standing literally three feet behind his back. The situation was so absurd that I couldn't hold it in.

  In the silence of the corridor, a muffled but distinct "Pfff-ha-ha-ha!" rang out.

  I bent double, trying to suppress my laughter. Alastia was shaking next to me, pressing her palm to her mask. This entire "secret operation" with spies crawling out of the walls looked like a bad theatrical production.

  Dis and his team froze. Slowly, very slowly, they began to turn their heads in our direction...

  Dis's shadows slowly turned around, scanning the empty space behind them. Dis himself remained motionless. He stood with his back to us, frozen in the pose of a "great leader" who had just uttered the ultimate truth.

  And then it happened. In a closed, hermetically sealed corridor with absolutely no drafts, a Wind suddenly kicked up. It blew in out of nowhere, caught the hem of Dis's cloak, and began to epically blow his hair back, making it flutter exactly like in an anime opening.

  I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop myself from howling out loud. This was too much. The guy wanted to look cool so badly that he apparently cast a "Dramatic Fan" spell on himself.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  A second later, the shadows melted back into the walls, and Dis, without ever turning around, walked off into the distance. The wind, naturally, followed him, continuing to tousle his hair all the way to the corner.

  Alastia and I, barely holding back our hysteria, quietly backed away and bolted for our building. We needed to make it to our next class before we died of laughter.

  When we finally plopped down at our desks, the dam broke. We just lay on the table, shaking with silent laughter.

  "Still..." Alastia wiped away tears, "we should track them tonight. I want to see if the wind blows in his face when he's just standing still." I could only nod, unable to utter a single word. My stomach already hurt as if I'd been doing crunches all day.

  Suddenly, the light in the classroom grew dim. A shadow loomed over us. I raised my head and locked eyes with the teacher. He leaned in close to us, intently studying our red, tear-streaked faces.

  And then something happened that should have terrified me, but in my current state, it only triggered a new fit of hiccups. With a wet squelch, the teacher's eyes literally popped out of their sockets. They dangled on thin optic nerves, swaying right in front of our noses like two bizarre fruits.

  The teacher froze. Then, entirely casually, as if adjusting a pair of glasses, he scooped up his eyes with his palms and shoved them back into their sockets. With a loud smack, they popped back into place.

  "Funny?" he wheezed. He turned around to continue the lesson, took a couple of steps toward the chalkboard, and... schmack. His right ear fell onto the floor.

  The professor didn't even notice. He just kept walking, muttering the topic of the lecture under his breath: "Fundamentals of Biological Stability."

  "Well," I whispered, looking at the lonely ear on the parquet. "Seems like stability isn't really his thing." Alastia buried her face in the desk again.

  That night, Alastia and I met in the courtyard. The Academy was asleep, the floors had frozen in their current slots, and gravity seemed to have taken a temporary vacation.

  "Over there, look," Alastia pointed a finger at the moon. Against the backdrop of the massive glowing disk, black dots flickered. They moved too uniformly for birds and too fast for clouds.

  I held my hand out to her. Alastia grabbed my elbow, and with a sharp tug, I punched through space.

  POP.

  We were spat out a couple of kilometers up in the sky, right into the cold night air. We began to fall rapidly over the sleeping city. The wind whistled in my ears. At the last moment, I adjusted our trajectory, and we landed softly on the flat roof of some tall building.

  "There they are," Alastia whispered. I looked closer. On the spire of the tallest tower in the city, balancing precariously on the stone battlements, stood five figures. Dis stood dead center. They were posing in insanely "epic" stances, glaring down at the city below as if deciding whether to pardon it or grind it to dust. Naturally, the invisible wind continued to flutter Dis's hair.

  "Are you spying on our Overlord?" a cold female voice rang out behind us.

  I turned around. A girl in a tight black bodysuit stepped out of the shadows. Her gaze was fanatical, and she held a long sword in her hands.

  "'Overlord'?" I couldn't help but snort. "Do you seriously call him that? Is there a trend for dark lords this month, or did your LARPing session just go on too long?"

  "He is our Overlord," she snapped, her eyes flashing like steel. She didn't waste time debating and simply launched into an attack. The sword traced a perfect arc through the air, aiming for my shoulder.

  I didn't bother dodging. I just lazily tapped the flat side of the blade with my fingertips.

  Zing.

  I pumped a pulse of gravitational mass into the steel, increasing the sword's weight about a hundred times over. The effect was instantaneous. The blade, which weighed maybe a dozen pounds, suddenly became unliftable. The girl, not expecting the trick, didn't have time to unclench her fingers. The sword crashed onto the roof with a deafening clang, dragging her down with it.

  For a minute she tried just to pry the hilt off the stone, puffing and turning red from the strain. From the outside, it looked like a battle against a very stubborn nail.

  "A bit heavy?" I sympathized. "Should've eaten more porridge as a kid."

  At that moment, I felt the air around us thicken. The shadows from the chimneys and parapets began to lengthen, and figures detached from them. We were surrounded. The "black dots" from the moon turned out to be our "hero's" personal guard.

  Dis slowly stepped out of the circle of shadows. He adjusted his cloak, waited for a particularly strong gust of wind, and finally looked at us. "So it was you in the corridor," he said in his deep, "velvet" voice. "I didn't think your curiosity would lead you this far."

  I looked at Alastia, and she looked at me. We were both barely holding it together to keep from bursting into laughter again. "Listen, Dis," I said, dusting off my sleeve. "Let's cut to the chase. Are you planning to blow up the city, or did you just decide to show off in front of the moon?"

  Dis paused, allowing the wind to beautifully tousle his bangs, and spoke: "Fools like you could never understand my true goals. But I respect strength. It would be a pity if you died too quickly. Very well, I shall show mercy. If you can survive ten minutes against me and my guard without dying—I'll let you go."

  A coordinated chorus of sycophants instantly chimed in from behind him: "Oh, our Overlord is so noble! Such magnanimity!"

  I checked my watch. "Ten minutes? Alright, Alastia, try not to level the building before time's up."

  Her answer was brief—a fiery explosion of such magnitude that the nearest shadows simply vaporized, and Dis's warriors were scattered across the roof like bowling pins. Somewhere down in the city, signal artifacts began to wail. Looked like the capital was fully awake now.

  Only Dis remained. He swung his sword with such force that a deep fissure raced across the stone roof. The next second, he was right next to me. It wasn't teleportation—just transcendent speed and flawless technique.

  I jumped through space, materializing behind his back. Dis reacted instantly: a pivot, a leap, perfect balance. "You are both very interesting!" he exclaimed, a fanatical fire lighting up in his eyes. "Very well, I shall reveal my goal to you! I seek Power. The absolute greatest power achievable in this world! And it matters not what stands in my way!"

  "Did you rehearse that in front of a mirror?" He didn't answer, flashing behind Alastia's back. Without even turning around, she unleashed a cascade of lightning behind her. Dis jumped back again, bursting into his "overlord" laugh. "I've dreamed of worthy opponents for so long!"

  "Sounds like you just weren't looking very hard," I pointed out. "Have you tried visiting an optometrist?"

  Dis launched into a flurry of strikes. His blade turned into a gleaming haze. I began to lazily teleport around the roof, making him chase me. Here, there, up, down. So boring.

  I got tired of playing tag. On the move, I simply snapped off the tip of my own fingernail—thanks to regeneration, a new one grew in instantly—and, infusing it with a pulse of kinetic energy, flicked it through the air.

  The tiny piece of keratin pierced the air and entered Dis's thigh with a juicy thud. The "Overlord" gasped, stumbled, and lost his rhythm for a fraction of a second.

  I instantly popped up next to Alastia, who was just about to fry Dis with a final discharge. "How much time has passed?" I asked, looking at her watch. "Eleven minutes," she wiped soot from her cheek. "Well, that means the workday is over. The mercy limit has been reached."

  I held my hand out to her. Alastia gripped my fingers tightly. "See ya, Overlord! Ice that leg!"

  POP.

  We materialized in an empty corridor back at the Academy. "Well, that was fun," Alastia admitted, fixing her disheveled hair. "It was," I agreed, feeling the exhaustion settling in. "But next time, let's find someone who doesn't think they're God's gift to the world."