I pushed the door open and walked in.

  Two figures stood at the blackboard: a tall, sickeningly elegant elf and a stocky dwarf in a leather apron hung with vials. A strange duo. It seems they teach theory and practice simultaneously here so that no one gets a chance to relax.

  The elf cast a sweeping glance over me and pointed a long finger at an empty chair in the middle of a row. "Come in. Sit. We have just started."

  I crossed the threshold, and something in the classroom changed. Some girl in the second row froze, dropping her quill. She looked at me like I was a reanimated exhibit from a museum of antiquities. Eyes burning, mouth slightly open...

  "Sit!" hissed the guy sitting next to her (judging by the identical curve of their eyebrows—her brother). "It's really him, brother..." she exhaled, but obediently sank back into her seat, never taking her fanatical gaze off me.

  "Here we go," I thought. "Seems I put this mask on for nothing. It acts like a magnet here."

  Naturally, Alexia and Lianel were already here. Sitting in the front row—perfect, ironed, not a single speck of dust on their uniforms. Apparently, their "escort" didn't include jumping across floating islands and fleeing from avian terrorists.

  I plopped down into the empty seat. My neighbor turned out to be quite the biological puzzle: a mix of elf, dwarf, and demon. No horns, but the purple tint of his skin clearly hinted at demonic blood. From the elf, he got pointed ears and delicate facial features, and from the dwarf—a stocky build and... let's just say, excessive hairiness. You could tell the guy had shaved in the morning, but by three AM his genes were already taking their revenge. Though, maybe I'm just nitpicking from sleep deprivation.

  The teachers, meanwhile, cut to the chase. The dwarf slammed a heavy cauldron onto the desk, which belched out acrid green smoke.

  "Today's topic: detection and neutralization of poisons," he boomed. "In our world, poison isn't always something you drink. It can be a scent, an enemy's mana, or even a sound. If you don't learn to identify the threat—you are corpses."

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  The entire class was scribbling as if their lives depended on the speed of their quills. The scratching noise was unimaginable. I just sat there, propping my cheek on my hand, and examined a crack in the ceiling. It was more interesting than the lecture.

  Suddenly, the scratching of quills ceased. I felt two heavy gazes on me.

  The elf pointed at me with his long finger. "Stand up. What is your name?" "Greg." "Greg," he squinted. "Why aren't you taking notes? Are you relying on your memory or the mercy of the gods?" "Just lazy," I admitted honestly. "The paper will get lost later anyway."

  The teachers exchanged a glance and... smiled. But it wasn't a kind smile.

  "Since you are so confident in yourself, let's move on to practice," the dwarf boomed. "Come here."

  I reluctantly stood up and walked over to their desk. The dwarf splashed some murky, suspiciously bubbling sludge into a deep bowl. "Identify it, boy. What is this? Poison or an enhancement potion?"

  I looked at the substance. "It's an enhancement potion," I said without even sniffing it. "But because of a massive overdose of active ingredients, it has turned into pure poison. Anyone who drinks this won't get stronger—they'll simply burst from the inside. It needs to be diluted in proportion. The effects will weaken, of course, but it's the only way not to send someone to the next world."

  The dwarf burst into booming laughter, slapping his thighs. "He's got the basics down! Constructive thinking."

  He reached a hand into his thick beard and, to my surprise, fished out a tiny vial containing a shimmering pink liquid. "And this? Can you identify it without a tasting?"

  I took the vial and shook it slightly. The liquid inside stretched lazily following the movement, as if alive. "A love potion," I returned the vial to the teacher. "Classic formula. You need to add a piece of yourself and force the victim to swallow it. Works on hormones and mild suggestion. Primitive, but effective."

  The dwarf laughed again and raised the vial above his head, addressing the quieted class. "Listen up, everyone! Whoever manages to perfectly brew both a poison and a neutralizing potion on the final test, scoring one hundred out of one hundred... to them, I will gift this vial!"

  The silence in the classroom was instantly replaced by an unhealthy frenzy. The students started writing twice as hard, practically gnawing into the parchment. Apparently, the prospect of forcing someone to fall in love with them was the best motivation at this age.

  The elf nodded at me. "Alright, Greg. Sit down. But don't relax. Luck is a capricious lady; she does not favor the lazy." "Yeah, yeah," I muttered, returning to my seat. "Goes without saying."

  I sat down. Alexia looked at me and gave a barely noticeable shake of her head. Lianel just stared. It seemed they weren't interested in the love potion. They were only interested in one thing: how does he do that?

  And I just wanted this to be over as quickly as possible.