I was methodically annihilating the food supplies.

  The world around me had split into two fronts. On one side were the Dragonkin, Alphus, and Kael. Those three were locked in some endless debate—either about geopolitics or shares in deep-sea mines. On the other side were Lianel, Anna, and Alexia, whose discussion was even more heated. Alastia, having quickly integrated into the female collective, was also enthusiastically sharing something.

  And me? I was stuck right in the middle.

  What was I supposed to talk to them about? Mana exchange rates? Robe fashions?

  I had become the odd man out at this celebration of life. So, I simply flopped onto my back and started watching the clouds.

  "Hey, Greg," Alastia’s voice suddenly cut through. Apparently, my anti-social recharge had drawn attention. "How did you all even meet? Tell us your story."

  I sat up, a mischievous grin spreading across my face. Everyone fell silent, looking at me. A sense of impending doom hung in the air.

  "We-e-ell..." I drawled, savoring the moment. "It went like this. I was walking through the city, minding my own business, smelling the flowers. Suddenly, a certain suspicious princess decides I’m the perfect replacement for a lapdog. She tries to kidnap me, lock me in a castle, and make me her pet. She mobilizes the entire guard, organizes a manhunt... and in the end, I sold my freedom for a handful of hard candies."

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  Alexia choked on her tea.

  "Then," I continued, wailing like an old bard, "I met Lianel. I beat her in a few duels—just casually, in passing, didn't even break a sweat. After that, I was exiled to the human Academy. That’s where I ran into 'The Cloud'."

  I nodded toward Alphus.

  "Oh, he was magnificent. For the first week, all he did was explain to me what a smelly, filthy, low-born peasant I was. He said we shouldn't even breathe the same air in the same room. But hey, we made it work. We ran together, we were idiots together... Oh, I remember! One time I drenched him and all his friends in actual sewage from the pipes. Literally. But that’s just minor stuff, let’s not dwell on the sad parts."

  Alphus turned pale and buried his face in his hands.

  "Right after I gave them that 'brown shower'," I shifted my gaze to Anna, "I met her. First she chased me, then she straight up threw me into a frozen lake. She decided I was easy to manipulate through my stomach and started feeding me delicious food. From there, things just snowballed: New Year's with some relatives, visiting others... And here I am. In this country, the first thing Alastia did was try to shiv me. And my dragonkin roommate, who looked like a walking threat to all life, suddenly became part of the gang. And that's pretty much it."

  Silence.

  One second. Two. Three.

  "WHAT A LOAD OF LIES!" Lianel exploded.

  "GREG! YOU'RE MAKING ALL OF THIS UP!" Anna screamed.

  "I DIDN'T PICK YOU UP, I SAVED YOU!" Alexia protested.

  Immediately, their versions of the events came pouring in from all sides.

  "This is all the fruit of Greg's warped imagination!" "He mixed up cause and effect!" "No one drenched anyone... I mean, that was a strategic flooding!"

  I lay back down on the grass, listening to their collective clamor. They argued, interrupted each other, and laughed. My "truthful" version of history had done what the mines and politics couldn't—it had united them.

  "Yep," I muttered, closing my eyes. "A fake. A figment of imagination. But at least now you have something to talk about."