Excerpts from Trey Lancaster's Handbook: The Official Doctor's Apprentice (by Choice)

  When will they learn to knock?

  Francis can actually bite your head off if you touch his bottles without permission.

  There was never a permission.

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  Patient Case #77: Reid Turner

  Injury: Blisters over both palms, up to the elbows.

  Cause: Fire dancing.

  Reid: "It is not fire dancing!"

  Francis (transformed—face set, voice like a scalpel): "Sit. Now." Then proceeds to treat with the gentlest hands.

  Me: Tried slipping in a joke. He speared me with a look that went straight through my chest.

  Treatment: Salve + scolding + ban on "fire dancing" until healed.

  Lesson: If Reid's hurt, do not joke.