Warning: Suicidal ideation.

  The bed was uncomfortable, that same kind of uncomfortableness when every position felt wrong to sleep in. It was the middle of the night and I couldn't fall asleep. The moons were out tonight, all three of them shining above me. I heard from Scarlet that they were all siblings and protected the world from evil monsters. She even said that the Selukan Royal family had three kids and named them all after different meanings of moon.

  There was Kelusa the first son and heir, Nenula the second son, and finally Luan the third and youngest son. Apparently some stuff happened to them a decade or so after the last cycle when the wayfarers arrived. Now two of them were women and like over a hundred years old. Scarlet told me their new names but I was too dazed to remember. They were Steilae too according to Scarlet, I wondered if they had the urges too when they killed something.

  I thought about what my name would be if I was born a girl. My parents knew I was going to be a boy so they only ever gave me a boy name. Michael always felt so lackluster, so boring, maybe if I was like those princesses then I could choose a new name, but I wasn't. I'm Michael and I always will be, there's nothing I can do about it, not even change my body into a little girl.

  My body was growing restless and I needed to do something, anything other than staying here. I made my way out of my room and wore the cloak Kael gave me and for some reason I grabbed the Mikayla toy in the drawer. I left the gun, robot, book, and other parts. The other me made me feel strange inside, he was like a new version of me. If Damian and Scarlet hadn't taken me out of the library then I would've died there trying to get a stupid book.

  Even though I had the book for two days now I hadn't even opened it, my thoughts were you distracted on the dream I had. It'd been so realistic, I could feel and touch and even taste things in it. I knew going back was practically a death sentence but I couldn't help but want to dream that dream again. I put the thoughts of the book and dream aside for now, I was supposed to be resting, not getting stressed.

  I exited my room as quietly as I could as I peered out into the cold night air. From what I could tell nobody else was awake. As I walked out of my room I contemplated going to Kael and talking to him again. Ever since the cave I'd avoided him like the plague. He probably hates me for what happened in there, for nearly getting everyone killed just because I'm a stupid idiot. In the end I chose not to go to Kael's room, he's probably asleep and all I'd do was annoy him.

  I descended the staircase into the dining hall where I saw nobody. It wasn't a stormy night like the time I'd tried to steal a drink from the bar, no it was a cloudless night where I could see all the stars in the sky. As I made my war to the door I felt a strange sensation of paranoia as if somebody was watching me. I scanned the room and saw nothing, no Kael waiting in the darkness to stop me.

  Finally I exited the Silver Bell and into the moonlit Rosurnan streets. I gazed up at the three moons and the stars that surrounded them. At one point somebody had told me their names but I couldn't remember them at all. Apparently some people worship them as goddesses and gods but I wasn't sure how I could pray to some giant rocks in the sky. I stared at them with wonder, no matter what night at least one of them showed up.

  As I walked through the streets every now and then some passersby would glance at me, at my tail, at my scales. It would make me shiver knowing I wasn't normal even in this city of lanky elves and literal demons, I was something else, a dragon. Whatever Steilae were they weren't supposed to be seen by common folk, they were kings and queens, princesses and princes, at least according to Scarlet and Damian. I was just a wayfarer, one of thousands spread across the entire world they call Ennath, I'm not someone special.

  Thinking back to the dream I thought about the other me, that child trapped in our house. The show I watched when I was little about the dragon princess, she was strong, she didn't get people hurt, and even when she did she would always make things right. I hurt people and I can't do anything to help them, I broke Scarlet's mirror, I got Kael hurt and I nearly got all of us killed at the cave. On the last job I got stuck in a dream trap because I didn't listen to Damian. Everything bad that's happened is all because of me, it's all my fault.

  Suddenly I started to hear the sounds of water flowing. Loud crashes made their way to my ears as mist made its way to my skin. The waterfall, I was near that waterfall Damian and I had passed by on our first mission to kill those rats. Thinking back to that mission I realized how close the two of us had gotten to being mauled by rats because I hesitated to shoot the monster, because I let the urges take over me.

  God the urges, I shuddered thinking about them, that feeling whenever I killed a monster that made me need to eat them, to make them a part of me. It disgusted me to no end. Yet whenever I ate them it felt so blissful, so euphoric and right to do that in the moment I can't even fathom that what I'm doing is wrong.

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  Leaning on the short stone walls that separated me from the deep abyss below I realized how far the drop really was. In the darkness I could barely see the mist rising up. The sound of the water falling was like a constant barrage of thunder to my ears, a cacophony that never ended. I could see the reflections of the moons on the waterfall like dim spotlights on a stage. It gave the entire area this ethereal feeling like I was in a fairy tale. The reflections beckoned to me, urging me to get closer to them. I knew the water would be cold, if anything hypothermia would get to me before the water would, those liquid tendrils that would permeate into my body and lungs.

  It would be so easy to fall now, to let the murky nighttime waters take me away. Then I wouldn't be a problem anymore, nobody else would get hurt because of me if I was gone. Slowly I began to clamber onto the short stone walls that separated me and the water. As I got further and further along it the more I realized how far the drop truly was and how terrified I was of heights. It was stupid to be scared now when I wanted to leave, why should I be scared if I wasn't going to exist anymore? But the shaking in my legs and the hesitation in my mind wouldn't let me fall, they were gripping to me, struggling to keep me alive.

  Slowly I got back down from the wall and onto the bridge again, the shaking wouldn't stop. I was too much of a coward to end anything much less myself. What was I thinking? I tried my best to push aside those horrible thoughts. If I wasn't going to leave by the waterfall then maybe I should just leave Rosurnan in its entirety.

  As I kept walking down the bridge I found myself back in that marketplace I went to to get Kael's replacement gun and my free one. Soon I found myself standing in front of a familiar shop. I thought for a second that I could possibly find that Elven blacksmith inside but quickly realized that not a single one of the stores around me were open. The chances of anyone being inside that shop were zero to none, instead I just kept walking.

  The streets held an eerie silence around them, without Damian or anybody around everything just felt off. There was this almost constant sense that I was being watched, stalked, that someone was hunting me. I kept peering around me looking for a creature that didn't exist in the corner of my eyes. Paranoia was getting to me before I realized I had no idea where I was, my wandering had led me away from the market and to some fancy district.

  All the buildings were starting to be made more and more of fancy carved stone and ceramic tiles. Soon enough most wood features were beginning to become decorative and elaborately crafted. Wherever I was it was definitely made for people with more than just a bag of coins living off of nothing but porridge and free housing. These buildings were taller than the ones around the inn, those only ever got to two stories tall, these ones were at least three stories tall at a minimum.

  Eventually I came across a gigantic five story mansion surrounded by a giant plot of grass and other smaller two to one story buildings littered around. Beyond the gates and fancy metal fences I could see lights and rooms, there were people still up and about who looked a few years older than my apparent age. In the massive courtyard near the building I saw some teenagers and adults wearing these extravagant white and gold uniforms. It seemed like it was some fancy kind of college, the kind that'd probably cost anyone a fortune just to attend.

  Soon enough my gawking began to turn a few heads, after all I was watching a school in the middle of night. Some of them were staring at me with curiosity, probably because I'm a Steilae, others with confusion. There were a dozen things they could have been confused about but what was probably on their minds was why I'm here in the first place. They started talking and with me so far away I could barely hear anything they were saying. Eventually one of them seemed to get fed up with me and started approaching the gate. In the darkness I only saw their bright red hair in contrast to their white uniform. I took this as my sign to leave the campus alone.

  As I left the mansion behind me I looked up at the moons and realized that they had significantly moved since the beginning of the night, I should start getting back. Then I realized I had no clue where I was and the only building with people awake was the campus.

  Walking back to the fence I saw that the red haired person was still watching me from as I got closer. They had this face that gave off the feeling that they were trying to hide their excitement and failing at it. The closer I got the more I saw of her, she was a female student in this two piece half suit half dress with a skirt, what a weird uniform.

  “Hello?” I asked the teenaged looking student.

  “Hi! I didn't see you there, well I did but you left but now you're back! Do you need any help?” She spoke with excitement in her voice for some odd reason.

  “Well I need to get back to this inn called the Silver Bell. Do you know where it is?” The moment the words left my mouth all excitement I saw in her disappeared immediately.

  “Oh you're one of them. You wayfarers are taking so many resources for yourselves while doing absolutely nothing to contribute to Rosurnan's economy! You're just a fake Steilae.” She scoffed at me and threw her bitter words as if I'd hurt.

  “Just tell me where the Silver Bell is.” I was too tired to care about how rude this woman was being to me.

  “It's down that way, take a right then a left then another right, you should find yourself at that old bridge. You do know how to follow directions don't you?” Her words made me want to climb the fence separating us and punch her face in but I held myself back and started walking the way she pointed.

  “Go back to your lousy inn you freeloader!” She shouted at me but I didn't give her the pleasure of seeing me respond.

  Following her directions I was able to easily find the bridge again, although now with a bitter feeling in my mouth. Instead of crossing the bridge I sat down on it and stared into the water's reflection once again. The cool mist felt nice against my skin and even my scales. Rolling up my sleeves I felt the few scales on my shoulders and arms. They were smooth and had this tough stony texture on them like a weird lizard. Maybe I should ask Damian more about Steilae tomorrow, learn more about who I am now. It still felt weird to not be me anymore and that dream in the library only made things worse. I'm not Michael anymore, I don't look like myself anymore, I'm just a weird looking girl in a world I don't understand.

  “Maybe I should just fall in…” I spoke out loud to the waterfall.

  “You shouldn't do that y'know.” Suddenly I heard a gruff voice behind me.

  As I tried to turn around there was suddenly a cloth gag in my throat and then a sack over my head. I couldn't see anything but I could feel them. There were hands all over my body, restraining me, trying to tie my limbs together. I thrashed and contorted my body in any way I could to somehow make them stop but they wouldn't relent. I tried to yell, to scream for anyone to save me but all that came out were muffled cries.

  “We've got a rowdy one don't we?” The man's voice only made me want to escape more, but in the end that was the last thing I heard before someone hit me hard on the head.