The next three alcoves were more of the same. Honestly, I was getting tired of seeing Goblins at all.

  They weren't creative enemies to fight. They'd see us, and charge, Becky would zap or punch them, and I'd swipe or stab. Other than some amount of ache in my muscles and a few knicks and bruises, the fighting was... dull.

  The shining light here was Becky, who kept up a constant chatter about different things she cared about.

  As we entered the last of the six alcoves she was yapping on endlessly about the storyline in the mobile game she was playing.

  Honestly, it would have bothered me a lot if she wasn't kind of cute about it.

  "So yeah! There's this side character, non-playable, called Lucy, and she's hot Ay-Ef, and there's this whole questline you unlock with this three-star character that's a sort of romance side-game? It's got some minigames, which are alright, but the main questline is actually kind of cool. I've never really been a fan of like, dating sims, but this one makes it kind of fun since you also get to shoot aliens."

  "Aliens?"

  "Yeah, I told you about them. Anyway, I finished the questline yesterday, and now I need to wait a week for them to add the next update where they actually propose. At least, that's what the leaks say online. The last quest actually gave a single Vanguard of Choice pull token, which is like, huge. The game's the best one on the market but it never gives free pulls, so that's cool."

  "Uh-huh," I said.

  "Yeah, so... oh, look, mages," she said.

  I paused, refocusing. The newest alcove, the last one at the far-left of the main chamber of the portal, was filled with draperies and hanging clumps of herbs. The space had several walls, some covered by stretched animal skins decorated in painted-on scripts, and others just plain wood.

  A fire sat in the centre, with mats around it and cots further in, but the purpose of the place was plain. This was where the shaman hung out. It was especially plain because six of them were there, staring at us.

  And then one raised a staff and barked something. A fist-sized ball of fire shot out, and Becky and I jumped to the side to avoid it.

  "Woo! Dangerous," Becky said as she took cover on one side of the alcove. "Ideas?"

  "I can shoot them, but I'm not good enough of a shot to take out all of them with one round each without missing any," I said.

  "Yeah, we need a distraction," Becky said. "Think they'd play games if I toss them my phone?"

  "Cute," I deadpanned. "Any particularly strong spell you've been saving up?"

  "Uh... nah, not really. Finger-guns was my go-to, and my big stun stormy ability needs me to be closer."

  "Is that the spell's actual name?" I asked.

  "That's what I call it," she said. "How about you? Haven't seen one spell from you yet."

  "Don't really have access to cool elemental magic," I said.

  Becky frowned, then seemed to shrug. "Time magic's OP. So that's only fair."

  "I guess," I said. "What if we--" I started, only to realize something I should have known from the start.

  Just because it would be convenient for the enemy to stay put, didn't mean that they would. One of the shaman came running out of the room, carried by a powerful gust of wind and cackling like a madman. They landed ahead of me and spun around, staff slicing through the air.

  I raised my sword to block, but was far too slow to get into anything approaching a good form for it. I stumbled back into the wall behind me, back thumping against it even as the end of the staff struck me in the arm

  Then the shaman leapt on me, and it turned into a brawl on the floor. My sword clattered to the side, and I found myself trying to grip onto the goblin's arm as it pulled a sharp little knife out of its robes.

  We rolled, and the only thing that saved me was that goblins, in general, seemed far weaker than humans, more frail and thin and wiry. I was able to keep the knife away and twist around to get some leverage. Then the goblin bit my arm, sharp little teeth digging in even as they laughed.

  I pried their knife free of their grip even as I screamed, then stabbed down with it.

  "Oi! Some help when you're done!" Becky shouted.

  She was wrestling with two shamans, while the other three from the room were fanning out.

  I rolled around, getting to my feet and pulling out my revolver. The motion might have been too predictable, because one of them cast a quick fire spell, and I hissed as it struck me right in the chest.

  It burned. Touching a hot-stove burn, with a wash of heat across my entire front and a smack like getting punched, only... that was it?

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  I touched my chest, but there was no blood, no puncture. I'd probably feel that burn tomorrow, if I was stupid enough not to Reload, but it hadn't been strong exactly.

  The goblins continued to chitter and chant, but they didn't seem as willing to pile in as their smaller counter-parts.

  So I aimed at the one who'd hit me and fired. Then the next, then the next... and that one a second time because they jumped to the ground and I whiffed them entirely.

  Becky was fighting a goblin whose staff and fists were covered in a thick layer of mud, but as I turned to help, she finally grabbed hold of their staff, yoinked it closer, then laid into the goblin with a mean haymaker.

  "Woo!" she said as she raised her arms. "I am good."

  "Yeah," I said as I panted a bit. "Yeah, you are."

  She really was. Other than a few very minor injuries, Becky seemed unharmed. She wasn't even that winded. Her spells were fast, and while I was pretty sure that Terry--the only other person with the same element I knew well--had stronger, more potent spells, but Becky was firing hers fast. And it wasn't like she needed them to be extremely strong for them to kill.

  A stunned enemy was as good as a dead one in fights that moved this quickly.

  I rolled my wrist, stretching the muscles in it. There was a bit of strain there from the tumble. Still, I scooped my sword off the ground and checked it for nicks before sliding it away. "Want to check the last back-room?" I asked.

  "Sure!" Becky said.

  Just like the last five alcoves, we found something within.

  So far the rewards had all been very... lack-lustre. Maybe because this portal handed them out like halloween candy, whereas most portals I'd seen were a lot more sparring with any kind of reward.

  We laid out what we'd found, including the reward from the shaman room, onto a table that Becky cleared with a swipe of her arm that sent a heap of junk tumbling to the ground. Then she unloaded all of the loot. "This is a lot of magical junk," she said.

  There were six items laid out, and Becky had even gone through the trouble of placing them in the order we'd gotten them.

  A small pouch of some sort, a necklace with a large, non-goblinoid tooth on the end, a short, rusty dagger, and small round shield, a ring, and from the room with the shaman, a staff with a goblin's desiccated skull sitting atop it.

  "You know, I kept this cool weapon I found in the first portal I ever did. It's not something I ever expect to use, more of a wall-hanger, and yet even though it was from an E-rank portal, it still looks better than... any of this."

  "Yeah, it's kind of junk," Becky agreed. "Could be worth something, though? You plan on keeping any of it?"

  "Not really," I said. I was flush for cash at the moment, and the only interesting thing there was the staff, and I didn't want that at my place. Mister Couchtop would 100% use it as a scratching post.

  I was about to suggest that we work out a way to split them when there was noise from the main room.

  Leaning back, I glanced over, then blinked.

  Three goblins were stepping in from the very front of the chamber, a place that I had thought was empty. Two of the three were larger, armoured, with a sword and a staff. The one in the middle was taller, meaner-looking, with makeshift armour that looked like it had been ripped off a knight and polished with mud.

  "That the boss?" Becky asked.

  "Looks like it," I said. Then I started reloading. "What's the plan?"

  "I mean, I've got a gun too. Figure we fill him with lead?"

  "That... might work," I admitted. It wasn't subtle, but this wasn't a very subtle kind of run.

  The boss' guards went down to a couple of shots each, then the boss himself had to weather both Becky and I shooting at him. Becky's aim wasn't ideal, but she planted a few rounds into him, and my revolver roared, punching a hole even though his plate.

  Then a rip appeared, the exit portal.

  "That was... not that hard," I said.

  "Yeah! You going to do it all over again?"

  "Yeah," I said. "I need to perfect my sword technique, and with as easy as this has been, I think I might be able to sneak past you and solo it."

  Becky gave me a look of naked betrayal. "What? No!"

  "Sorry," I said. "But it was nice meeting you."

  "Man... that sucks," Becky said. "But yeah, fine. Promise me, if you need my help, that you'll reward me appropriately, tho. Even if you don't! I helped you today so it's only fair."

  "Fine, fine, I'll send you a pre-paid card by mail, so you can get a few more pulls in your game."

  Time to Reload, then see if I couldn't do all of this over again, but without the crutch of having Becky along.

  ***