Chapter 45

  JOSH-

  "What do you mean by no?" I asked him. Why would you not want to know more about your history with Kaysi?"

  "I just don't... Okay!" Evan stood up and left the hut.

  "What is his problem?" Micah asked.

  Becky looked over at Micah and shook her head. Micah looked at Becky with confusion.

  "If there's something you know, shouldn't you let us know? Becky, Kaysi is our friend, so why would we not help her?"

  "Yes, Kaysi, you are my friend, but I was asked to keep his feelings quiet, and I wish to respect that."

  "I, more than anyone, should know what feeling guilty about Kaysi's past means."

  "Which one of us has not exactly been the best of friends? But the stories I've heard and my closeness with her in this short time. I think her heart's bigger than that."

  "Kaysi, how would you feel if you knew someone here potentially caused your memory loss? Not intentionally, well, at the same time, the act was still unforgivable."

  "I think forgiveness is within the heart of the person. Whether or not I forgive them depends on whether the person feels condemned for their actions. Do they sincerely feel remorse or wish to change it, or what actions have they dispyed to become a better person?"

  "So far, since I woke up out of my coma, a lot of things have happened, but I didn't understand. I have recovered a lot of my memory. Yet, there are still several gaps; perhaps that is for the better. But I could forgive any one of you here. You all have saved my butt at one time or another. And anyone that might have intentionally hurt me back then, I could not see myself not forgiving you."

  "So that settles it, then," Micah blurts out. Anyone of us she would forgive. Let's help her regain her memory and move forward. I don't think he is held to the same judgment as you, Josh, whatever Evan is feeling. Maybe you should go out there and talk to him."

  "You're right, I can't deny that, and at the end of the day, we almost face the music. I'll be right back."

  Becky grabbed my wrist. "Josh, although we all know that the guilt you feel may seem to be stronger. Also, respect that others may go through their trials and tributions."

  "Yes, which makes me the best person to go and talk to my brother. I know more than anyone here that I shouldn't be forgiven so easily."

  I got good at tracking. The many years that Benjamin taught me some of his skills. It is well known for how many times Kaysi and I crossed paths. But everyone knows that that was not a coincidence. I just don't know what my brother's thinking. What could he have done so poorly that it crushed his spirit when it came to Kaysi? Why would he go so far as not to want to recover her memory?

  As I followed the trail, I got further and further into the depths of the forest. It was starting to get thick and vinous. Something didn't seem right. I felt as though I was being watched. My Phoenix fire wouldn't let anybody come too close to me, so I'm not afraid of anybody trying to py tricks on me.

  I'm going to continue searching for my brother and fight whatever comes my way. I'll just make sure to keep my guard up. The nocturnal wildlife chirped and ughed in the woods, echoing in the trees.

  However, I didn't understand why the forest seemed to be transitioning from a woodnd terrain to a more rainforest-like climate. The ground became foggy, and the sky began to mist lightly. Could this be the cause of a demon or a natural occurrence?

  "EVAN," I yelled! I lost track of his trail. I hope he was somewhere nearby.

  "Brother, come out and talk. I should know better than anyone how you may be feeling guilty. But that's still not how we treat our friends. She still should know the truth."

  "You know that is rich coming from you."

  Evan slowly walked out of the deep darkness and crept closer. I could still barely see his figure, as it was still quite dark. No form of natural light was around to help. The moon was hidden by the clouds. A light that had come from the vilge was now extinguished between the depths of the forest and the fog rolling in.

  The sounds of the strange animal ughing started to become louder. The other animals of the forest became quiet. I think the quietness made the ughter even more deafening. What animal was causing such a loud sound?

  "Evan, I think we need to head back. We can talk more about the subject when we're back in the vilge."

  "No, do you want it so badly to come here and start patronizing me, knowing everything that you've done? You are nowhere near innocent. Yet you want to unlock her memories."

  "Yes, I feel as though it's something that we can work out together. Whatever sins you think you've committed, I don't think they amount to what I've caused her. We had a conversation before I arrived, and she said it doesn't matter as long as you're willing to change. No matter what, she'll forgive you. She just asked that you show proof that you've changed."

  "That's the thing: I've changed every time I've met her. And every time I've tried to start over. Change my identity and make new memories. And yet, I can't stop myself from running away from her."

  "So, if you know her like you say you do. Then why is it so hard for you to face her?"

  "I don't know. Again, why are you trying to lecture me? You've made numerous changes to yourself. To the point that people can barely recognize you. Yet they still give you the same disappointing look; you sicken them."

  "I know that, and I already expect that it's not going to be easy to forgive me. I wish I could go back in time and be right about the things I've done. But just like Kaysi said, we can move forward."

  "There is no moving forward, not for you or me. It's best if we keep her memory shut down and locked away. And hope that they never return."

  "Our memories are who we are, including the bad ones and the good ones. We didn't go through some of the bad things; we wouldn't become the people we are today."

  "You're not going to convince me," Evan said as he punched a tree behind him. A tree shattered and splintered, cutting a hole in the middle."

  "Is that how we want to go about this? Well, come on. If you want to fight it out, if you want to get some of that negative energy out, then let's do it."

  The ugh of the forest grew louder and louder, almost distorting my thoughts. I could barely think straight.

  "How do you think about this? If I kick your ass, you come back to the vilge and take whatever punishment we're about to get when her memories are restored. If you win, you can walk away, but I'm going to let you know right here and now. I'm not going to let you anywhere near her, but you might as well stop being a Waymaker. Because regardless of our emotions and intentions, we are to protect those around us."

  "Fine, but what do you know about friendships? Or any retionship for that matter, because you've never been around."

  "Evan, you're right, but I still don't think you're in your right mind, so I could beat you until it resets.

  The ughter turned to a voice that sounded like it was saying, "Fight...fight...fight." Was it an animal making the sound?

  We both matched each other's punches, slugging each other in the face. We both stumbled. I had forgotten that my brother taught me a lot of our fighting moves when we were younger.

  "I know every move you used to use when you were a little kid. Did you forget that I was the one who trained you?" He said as he threw a wild right hook, which was dodged by my quick side-step, followed by a swift jab to the jaw.

  "Yeah, but little brother, no matter how much you think you've passed me, smart, you may continue to try to humiliate me by calling me little brother, thinking you're superior to me. But you forget I was born first and was the strongest."

  A sickening thud echoed in the forest as the punch connected with the side of my cheekbone. And I barely dodged hitting the tree.

  The tree was crushed and fell, its timber crashing to the ground and shaking the forest.

  "Yeah, but I'm much stronger than I used to be when we were younger, too!"

  Something seemed unnatural about his strength. I have fought alongside his side for quite some time now. Was he holding back? Why would he do that when we needed him to fight at full strength at times? He would have put the rest of us in danger by not using his strength properly.

  "Have you been holding back?" I braced myself against his onsught, fists clenched tight, and eyes narrowed in his direction.

  No, I feel stronger tonight than I have before. Maybe it's because you pissed me off more than I've ever been before. Everything about you pisses me off."

  Fury fshed in his eyes as he unleashed a flurry of punches fueled by his deep-seated anger.

  "Have you just been angry with me this whole time and have been holding it back?"

  Sweat streamed down my face as we traded more blows; my chest was tightening from exhaustion, and yet he still seemed unfazed. He hadn't even started to break a sweat. Something doesn't seem right.

  "Do you hate me that badly? You hold a grudge against me for what? Because I stayed by Dad's side. I walked away as soon as you opened my eyes."

  I thought he was over it the time I lived with Dad, but maybe he's been holding it back this whole time. I followed behind. Perhaps he didn't mean for me to come back with him.

  "Would you have been happier if I stayed with Dad? Would you rather I have kept on the path of evil? So you would have a chance to maybe one day face me and kill me. That way, your actions would be justified because I was evil!"

  No...Yes...It's your FAULT... You didn't. Evan grabbed his head and shook it back and forth as he spoke. You seem very confused and indecisive. Something seemed off and wrong with him.

  The ughter echoed from the words "fight to kill." It bounced off the forest, repeating, screaming, "Kill... kill... kill." That's it. It has to be a demon; it can't be an animal. Could it be a demon that's affecting my brother?